When I think about Yah Shua in the garden of Gethsemane before He was arrested and praying in agony I always wonder what I would have done in His Place. I probably would have quit my job a long time ago. Even if I would have made it to this point, I surely would have ran as far away from that garden as possible. But Yah Shua was determined to do what God wanted Him to do. He had no intentions of backing out, even though He had many opportunities to do so. It reminds me of a poem I once read. It was about someone in city A "seeing" the angel of death coming to get him and he decides to flee to city B.... the end of the poem is that this angel looked at the man while he knew he would have to get him later that night in city B..... so fear sometimes drives us to do everything that we want instead of listening to God and do what pleases Him. I also discovered over the years that God's view is so much wider than ours. We are thinking about life in short terms. We do not have the overview He has. I always thought it was not fair of God that I didn't have any children and that I lost the one I carried. Looking back I now see what God saw in those days. He knew that I would end up with an abusive husband and that I would never be able to break free from him if we would have had a child together. With my disease I would never have been able to raise it the proper way. I still am sad about the one I lost, but I do understand why things happened that way. If only I was a little more like Yah Shua, I would have trusted God so much more. But I am human and my feelings and thoughts often make me do things and say things that I shouldn't have. I am so grateful that Yah Shua did what was expected of Him. It literally saved my life.