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Corvette2000
Jan 14th 2008, 09:19 PM
I was saved back in the mid 90s but soon went back to my sinful ways. A year ago I dropped out of life and spend most of my time in this house.

I'm almost 62 years old, married 3 times and my fiance and I broke up a year ago. It was time for me to focus on God which is what I have been doing.

To make a long story short I am ready to go home. I am praying for God to take me out of this world. I've ask God to forgive me if it is wrong to ask Him to do this, but I sincerely do not want to participate in this world any longer. There is just nothing worldly I want. This world is all about one thing and that is money. As a controller for large companies it was constantly about profit. I quit my job a year ago. I just do not want to participate.

I've asked God in Jesus name to forgive me for following my will and not His which has led to relationship failures. I've ask God to show me a new direction. I've totally unconditionally surrendered to God. I thank God almost everyday for His Son dying for me on the cross for my sins and I know he now resides at God's right hand in His throne.

Now I'm running low on money, and will probably have to give up my pride and joy, my corvette.

Please join me and ask God to bring me home. I am ready. No it's not because He is taking my corvette is the reason I've given up. I just no longer want to participate in this world.

miepie
Jan 14th 2008, 11:56 PM
I have moved your thread here so you can have a more private conversation with one of our ministers...... :hug:

God Bless,
Mieke

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 01:18 AM
Hi Corvette,
I'm not one of the ministers, per se. I'm sure one will be with you soon. But I just had to jump in here for a minute, because you sound exactly like I did about five years ago. Divorced, kids gone, bills paid, nothing that I wanted, no purpose in being on the planet, an abject disgust with people in general including the church.
Like you, I asked God to just take me home. I was done. Didn't want to be here anymore.
Like you, I said 'If there is something YOU want to do with me, then fine, otherwise just take me home.'
He heard me, and gave me an option. He let me know that there was something He wanted to do with me, if I was truly willing.
But the very thing He asked me to do, at the start, was a thing I absolutely did not want to do. And I did have the option, that or go home.
I decided to go with it, even though I didn't want to. I did it just because He said do it.
And I've been doing that very thing ever since. Just doing what He says to do.
And I gotta tell you brother, it's been a wild ride ever since! Once I got done with ME, then HE could work through me, and did.
Like you I got low on money, completely out of it, in fact. But when I was done depending on my own resources, then I had to depend on His. His work better.
I am doing things I never dreamed I would ever do, and gone places I never thought I'd go. And He supplies everything I need to accomplish what He has set before me to do.
And I'm glad I made that decision. I would have really missed out on some stuff!
So, in other words, you are now in exactly the right place. And I can assure you He heard you. He'll see how serious you are. Probably giving up that 'vette is the test. But if you're really done with the world, that shouldn't be too hard to give up.
Now I'll shut up and let a minister talk to you...... God bless..:)

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 01:56 AM
Hi Corvette,
I'm not one of the ministers, per se. I'm sure one will be with you soon. But I just had to jump in here for a minute, because you sound exactly like I did about five years ago. Divorced, kids gone, bills paid, nothing that I wanted, no purpose in being on the planet, an abject disgust with people in general including the church.
Like you, I asked God to just take me home. I was done. Didn't want to be here anymore.
Like you, I said 'If there is something YOU want to do with me, then fine, otherwise just take me home.'
He heard me, and gave me an option. He let me know that there was something He wanted to do with me, if I was truly willing.
But the very thing He asked me to do, at the start, was a thing I absolutely did not want to do. And I did have the option, that or go home.
I decided to go with it, even though I didn't want to. I did it just because He said do it.
And I've been doing that very thing ever since. Just doing what He says to do.
And I gotta tell you brother, it's been a wild ride ever since! Once I got done with ME, then HE could work through me, and did.
Like you I got low on money, completely out of it, in fact. But when I was done depending on my own resources, then I had to depend on His. His work better.
I am doing things I never dreamed I would ever do, and gone places I never thought I'd go. And He supplies everything I need to accomplish what He has set before me to do.
And I'm glad I made that decision. I would have really missed out on some stuff!
So, in other words, you are now in exactly the right place. And I can assure you He heard you. He'll see how serious you are. Probably giving up that 'vette is the test. But if you're really done with the world, that shouldn't be too hard to give up.
Now I'll shut up and let a minister talk to you...... God bless..:)

I'm happy for you sir. God has heard me. I've prayed over and over for Him to place His desire for a new direction in my life. If I can not do his will and direction in this world, why can't I just go home?

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 02:24 AM
I'm happy for you sir. God has heard me. I've prayed over and over for Him to place His desire for a new direction in my life. If I can not do his will and direction in this world, why can't I just go home?Well brother, I can't answer for God. I can only tell you what I did and what He did with me.
My first step of course was hearing Him. I was dead serious about it, and frankly expected Him to take me out fairly quickly. The second step was to go and do whatever He said to do, once I clearly understood it. It was a day by day thing. I didn't concern myself with suddenly acquiring a big ministry and becoming an overnight success in the Christian realm.
Instead, I just wanted to know what He wanted me to do today. He didn't, and doesn't, speak to me every day. But when He does, I go do it. Sometimes that means doing things I don't want to do, or things I myself cannot do without His miraculous provision, sometimes it's as simple as taking a little time with my wife just to show her I love her. Sometimes He doesn't give me direction, simply because He already has and expects me to just keep doing the last thing He told me to do. And then sometimes (I dislike this part the most), He sets me aside for a while and has me do nothing.
He will not give you some overwhelming task to start with. It'll be a simple thing. And when you are faithful with that, He'll give you another thing to do. And He will bless your socks off for your obedience. Keep doing that, and pretty soon you'll find yourself doing amazing things. But you'll know it's not really you doing them, but Him doing them through you.
He really wants for us to place ALL our trust in Him for everything, to trust in His wisdom instead of our own, and His abilities instead of our own.
If you are really done here, then set YOU completely aside and commit yourself to doing what He wants. Tell Him so. Keep telling Him so.

Or, you can sit and wait for Him to give you a heart attack or something.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 02:45 AM
Thank you for your kind advice. If God has something for me to do, I will do it. I've have congestive heart failure for over five years. My daughter is married to a great guy in Florida with a 3 year old daughter. My mother, dad and brother are in heaven. I'm here in Las Vegas. Every morning before the sun rises I awake and say a prayer, then go back to sleep till six. I still smoke and have a drink. I have no health insurance and am streaching my coreg to every other day. I just feel that He should bring me home, but He will do His will, not mine.

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 03:05 AM
Yes, He will. And maybe it is about your time. But until you're sucking in your last breath, be listening. You may yet do your greatest work. He's done that kind of thing before. Your influence on those around you mean a whole bunch more than most of us realize, even, and perhaps especially, in your last hours. There's another Mod on here that can testify to that.
I hope I've not been too blunt with you. I do that sometimes. I'll pray for you brother, because I'm frankly convinced He does have something for you. Something that will probably surprise you.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 03:23 AM
Yes, He will. And maybe it is about your time. But until you're sucking in your last breath, be listening. You may yet do your greatest work. He's done that kind of thing before. Your influence on those around you mean a whole bunch more than most of us realize, even, and perhaps especially, in your last hours. There's another Mod on here that can testify to that.
I hope I've not been too blunt with you. I do that sometimes. I'll pray for you brother, because I'm frankly convinced He does have something for you. Something that will probably surprise you.

Kahtar, you can be as blunt as you want to be with me. Thank you for your prayers. I have been as honest as I can be on this thread. I want no pitty now and I into a pity party. No emotions, I just feel as if I am done in this world and sincerely want to go home. If the Lord has other plans for me I will follow those plans. I've waited over a year and now what am I suppose to do?

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 03:54 AM
Well sir, in your boots, I'd make sure my relationship with Him is what it should be, repent if I need to, forgive all those who have wronged me in some way, and tomorrow morning I'd say, 'Here I am Lord, show me what YOU want to do with me today.' If He doesn't show you anything, ask again the next day. And in the mean time, read His Word, spend time praising Him and thanking Him for all He has done in your life already.
But, the people you come in contact with tomorrow may be your 'divine appointment', so pay attention, and do whatever the Spirit places in your heart to do, or say. Sometimes, even just a kind smile or word for a stressed out waitress can have profound impact.
Just always be looking and listening. He'll give you things to do.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 04:01 AM
Well sir, in your boots, I'd make sure my relationship with Him is what it should be, repent if I need to, forgive all those who have wronged me in some way, and tomorrow morning I'd say, 'Here I am Lord, show me what YOU want to do with me today.' If He doesn't show you anything, ask again the next day. And in the mean time, read His Word, spend time praising Him and thanking Him for all He has done in your life already.
But, the people you come in contact with tomorrow may be your 'divine appointment', so pay attention, and do whatever the Spirit places in your heart to do, or say. Sometimes, even just a kind smile or word for a stressed out waitress can have profound impact.
Just always be looking and listening. He'll give you things to do.

Yes sir; I come into contact with very few people, but tomorrow I will place myself into a situation in which I will come into contact with people. Like go to Walmart

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 04:23 AM
Yes sir; I come into contact with very few people, but tomorrow I will place myself into a situation in which I will come into contact with people. Like go to WalmartYep. That'll do it.:lol: There's alot to be said for 'positioning' yourself, where you can be used. I'd say go for it. And, let me know how it goes, okay?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 04:27 AM
Yep. That'll do it.:lol: There's alot to be said for 'positioning' yourself, where you can be used. I'd say go for it. And, let me know how it goes, okay?

ok will do. says I need to do fifteen characters..

Kahtar
Jan 15th 2008, 04:35 AM
Good! It's hard to have divine appointments sitting at home.:D

I heard of a pastor once who really felt called to do a tent revival in a certain place, so he packed up the tent, and went and set up, posting advertizements around. He planned to do a five night revival.
Each night he'd go to the tent, ready to give his sermon, and no one showed up.
Feeling frustrated, he wanted to just pack it in, yet the Lord wouldn't let him. So, speaking to a tent full of empty chairs, he gave his sermon anyway, each night. No one ever showed up.
When it was all done, he packed up and returned home, feeling low.
Years later he met a young pastor who walked up and introduced himself. He asked the elder preacher if he remembered the revival he preached years earlier in that place, and of course the preacher did.
Then the young preacher told him his story. Seems he was just a boy at that time, and too embarrassed to enter the tent, but every night, for all five nights, he sat outside the tent, out of sight, and listened to the sermon, gave his life to the Lord and became a successful pastor, leading many people to the Lord.
I tell you this story just to remind you that things are not always what they seem, and we don't always know what things take place when we are obedient, but God knows what he's doing.
You may be the very one to lead the next Billy Graham to the Lord.
Go out there expecting God to do something.........

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 01:45 PM
How you doing today Vette?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 05:18 PM
Doing fine. Was just re reading my conversation with Kahtar.

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 06:38 PM
Good. Tell me something. In your year of getting into Scripture... what hollered the loudest to you?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 07:16 PM
Psalm 27.14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

1 Peter 12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

1 Peter 12 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

This started in January 2007. I honestly thought this was what God wanted me to do. In may, I began to lose faith. I had it made up in my mind that I was not going to spend another hot summer in Las Vegas. Wanting to relocate I prayed and prayed to God to place a desire in my heart. I came up blank. I laid a map of the US in front of me. For some reason I looked at Springfield, Missouri. But still no clear direction. I've never been to Springfield. Each mid month around the 15th (today is the 15th) I tell myself, surely God will give me some type of an answer on what He has in mind for me. Finally after a year of this, I felt it is time for me to ask Him to bring me home.

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 07:27 PM
Why not instead do what that passage says? Wait. He'll strengthen the heart... believe that.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 07:33 PM
What has been so amazing about my wait on God is how He has made time fly by so quickly. It seems like a couple of days ago I was watch all the New Year's Bowl games. Then all of a sudden it's mid January. My routine has been the same everyday. Seem to wake up about 3am; I lay in bed praising the Lord over and over. Then I get up around 6am, have coffee than oatmeal. Check out the news, pray, read the Bible and go to a couple websites. Each day at 4pm I listen to a local preacher on the radio, whom I've communicated with. Anyway, it seems like a few weeks ago it was July and 110 degrees. I've watched two neighbor's apple trees bloom, bear fruit, and the the trees are bare as winter arrived.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 07:40 PM
Why not instead do what that passage says? Wait. He'll strengthen the heart... believe that.

Peter, how long must I wait? If I am not careful, soon I will be homeless. Is this what He wants for me? I want His desires for me. Not mine. Doing my will, I have failed Him and myself. If He will just send me on His way, it would be my way. If He has no plans for me here on Earth, then I want out of here. I want His will to bring me home. I want to be used by Him.

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 07:40 PM
God can do that sort of thing... He's God! :)

Are you studying anything in particular in the Bible?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 07:50 PM
God can do that sort of thing... He's God! :)

Are you studying anything in particular in the Bible?

Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelation. I believe we are in the end times. I visit Rapture Ready often. I also believe our President is making a grave mistake for encourging division in Israel.

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 08:11 PM
I too believe those last days are one us. Have you ever pondered on that really? What it all means... where you are at now or maybe where God wants you to be?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 08:33 PM
I too believe those last days are one us. Have you ever pondered on that really? What it all means... where you are at now or maybe where God wants you to be?

What it all means is that the Rapture could happen anytime. I look up into the sky often and ask that Jesus please come soon. That is my top priority is to know where God wants me to be. Not where I want to be. If I follow my way I will fail again.

This is probably one of the most sinful cities in the country. Gambling and the sex industry has corupted this place. Late sunday afternoon I watched one plane after the other leave this city. Each plane probably had 200 or more people on them. I thought, these people flying here to Las Vegas probably each spent $3000 on gambling, sex and entertainment. That's $600,000 per plane. In the 30 min I watched these planes, atleast 20 passed over my house. People 20,000 feet over my house in a half hour spent $12,000,000 on gambling, sex and entertainment.

Yes, I believe we are in the final days. I'm really not sure how much more God is going to put up with it. Fathers tossing their children off bridges, billboards all over this city with naked women. People begging for money on the street after I read about a head of a Mexican Cartel lost $2 million at a poker table. Because he was a high roller, the casino gave him a new Jaguar.

Peter, I don't like what I see in this world. Just yesterday I went to the store and saw high school boys walking with their pants well below their hips while holding their crotch.

I've asked God to help improve my attitude about things I see and read about. I've seen beautiful things in this world that He has created. But in my head and heart, I am ready to go home. If he is not ready for me to go home, the Please God, use me!

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 09:14 PM
I am too. Thing is... all in His time. Tell me this... if you had a medium to say it... what would you say? You've been off the turnip truck for a long time now... you've seen it when it was a pretty good nation. With a platform... what would you actually say to folks?

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 10:28 PM
In 1958 I was 8 years old. We lived near Little Rock but actually were in the country. Having a brother 5 years older (became a Medical Doctor), a sister 1 1/2 year older and a brother, 3 years younger. During the summer and on weekends the neighborhood kids would join us and we would play hide and go seek, kick the can or fox across the river. Other times we would live in the woods just north of our small framed house. We made swings and would swing from one pine tree to the other. Every summer I would attend a Boy's Club camp for 2 weeks.

All 4 of us kids walked to Wilson Elementary which was a mile from home. No matter what the weather was like we walked. Later in the 60s I attended Southwest Jr High and had to walk 2 miles each way. If it was not muddy, was able to climp a small cliff which was a short cut.

When I was 8 or 9 my older brother had a paper route. After we collected money at the end of the month we brought in $30. Harold would give me $10 and I felt like I was rich. Also, I had 2 or 3 extra papers each day which I sold and made an extra 20 or 30 cents.

We had 3 TV channels. Every Saturday night we would always watch "Have Gun Will Travel" at 8pm and at 9pm we watched Gunsmoke. On Saturday morning after I cut the hedges or whatever chore I had to do we'd watch Sky King and Rin Tin Tin. Then it was off the the woods climbing pine and oak trees.

Later, probably 1963 I attended Little Rock Central High School. I began meeting girls. My sister had a girlfried that lived 4 blocks away but was afraid to walk there. I would make arrangements with daddy on Wednesday for the car on Saturday. I'd wash every inch of the car and had it ready for a date. My sister would go ask for the car 30 minutes before I was to leave for my date. I'd be all spruced up for my date and ask daddy for the keys. He said he forgot and let Betty have the car to visit Sissy. This happened so many times. I would have to phone my date and try to explain.

Overall we had a happy childhood. We were spanked with a switch or belt and sometimes brought blood. Usually our spankings were well deserved. When I became 16 and 17 is when I began having continous problems with my sister. Later as we became adults she apolized over and over.

Today, in my neighborhood there are alot of kids. I see them getting on and off the bus. That's the only time I see them. Walking real slow in the middle of the street. Sometimes I see them riding their ATV down the street which is illegal.

From the time I can remember until I was 16, were years I will always treasure. My dad worked over 40 years for the Post Office as a Postal Clerk. We always thought we were poor. My dad came from the depression days and was extremely tight with his money. An example; We did not have air conditioning, just a fan. In the summer we'd go to bed around 9 or 10pm. We'd beg to use the fan. When he did allow us to use it, he would turn it off when he thought we were asleep. Most of the time we were awake. We'd cry for him to turn it back on, but he did not. He said because we were under a blanket, we didn't need the fan.

That's sort of my story in the late 50s and 60s.

ProjectPeter
Jan 15th 2008, 10:34 PM
God works in funny ways. One of those funny ways would be little corners of this vast place called the World Wide Web. You have a medium now... is that why you are here? I'm not saying it is... but I'll say it again. God does things in weird ways. You have a medium right here... see where it takes you. In that... perhaps there is an answer to why God isn't taking you anywhere just yet. :)

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 10:42 PM
Well, it's not completely end of the story. As a 16 year old, my relationship with my dad, mother and sister went south. I was not allowed to have a paper route because some type of trouble my older brother got into. I was unable to get a job without transportion. When I was allowed the car my dad would give me $2 for a date. All we could do was go to McDonalds then go parking. Once he gave me only 50 cents for a date. Right after I turned 17 I joined the Army Reserve and went on active duty for 6 months. When I completed active duty I returned to Central and graduated.

When I was 19, I got my girlfriend pregnant. She was required to have a C section being a diabetic. My dad asked me how I was going to pay for it. He said it would cost $1000. I was making $1.75 an hour as a delivery boy of auto parts. This was on my shoulder and came up with the idea of joing the regular Army. They would pay for the c section. I ended up in Germany and my wife and child joined me when the baby was 4 months old. She was homesick, a year later left without my knowledge. She divorced me, and I ended up in Viet Nam. A few months after arriving in viet nam, I ended up in a hospital in Japan, then a hospital in San Antonio. I used my GI Bill, worked 30 hours a week and graduated from college with an accounting degree.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 10:45 PM
God works in funny ways. One of those funny ways would be little corners of this vast place called the World Wide Web. You have a medium now... is that why you are here? I'm not saying it is... but I'll say it again. God does things in weird ways. You have a medium right here... see where it takes you. In that... perhaps there is an answer to why God isn't taking you anywhere just yet. :)

I wish God would say or somehow communicate anything to me. Even if it was "Hi Stan". That would thrill me.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 11:01 PM
God must know that I am worn down. A year alone with Him, asking for His mercy, praying for His direction in my life, asking for forgivness over and over. God only knows how much I can endure, which is nothing compared to what his disciples had to endure. I am ashamed to admit that I am worn down. Charles Stanley said if I needed help, ask for it NOW. I do need Him now. Either show me what to do, or take me home.

Corvette2000
Jan 15th 2008, 11:38 PM
Yep. That'll do it.:lol: There's alot to be said for 'positioning' yourself, where you can be used. I'd say go for it. And, let me know how it goes, okay?

Hi Kahtar, didn't make it to Walmart today. Was going this afternoon, but have been talking to Project Peter off and on. By the way, we have a 3 hour time difference if you are ET.
Stan

Kahtar
Jan 16th 2008, 01:29 AM
Hi. Well, talking to PP is good too.:D He's got a lot of insight.
I'm east of you a bit, in New Mexico.

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 02:35 AM
Hi. Well, talking to PP is good too.:D He's got a lot of insight.
I'm east of you a bit, in New Mexico.

I appreciate Peter talking to me but to be honest I am a little disapointed. I opened up to him totally. He answers with one or two sentences and totally misses what I am saying.

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 02:40 AM
If he is some sort of geru of this site I am sorry. Sir, I am just being honest. I spent alot of time answering his questions and his answers depressed me. Then I would answer him again and he talked about how great the world wide net was. At this time, where I am those were not the answers I needed.

Kahtar
Jan 16th 2008, 04:23 AM
Ah, well, he just thought maybe you might find your calling here on the forum, talking, and sharing with other people, giving them sound advice from years of experience.
Well, perhaps Walmart tomorrow, ey?

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 04:31 AM
Yep, I guess so. Was just looking for some good Christian advice, while spilling my heart out. Guess I was wrong. Thanks anyway.
Stan

Kahtar
Jan 16th 2008, 05:00 AM
That's one advantage to this board, I guess. Not everyone has the answers we need, but there's usually someone who does. I've talked to alot of people on here, and for some I had what they needed, and for others I didn't, but someone else did. We each have a gift to share, but God uses those gifts where and how He will.
I was reading your post above about wishing God would say 'Hi, Stan'. You sure remind me of me.:) Sometimes I go for long periods without hearing anything from Him, to the point I wonder if He forgot I was down here. Then suddenly, out of the blue, He'll speak something. Not sure why He does that. Guess maybe it has to do with walking by faith.
I've never actually 'heard' His voice, with my ears. He speaks to people differently. Some with dreams and visions, others through reading His Word, some while they're standing in the shower.
For me, He just 'downloads' information into my mind, and it's up to me to put words to it all. But I know it's Him. I never actually hear 'words' from Him, just the entire concept all at once.
He had me write an allegorical story one time, and I had to deliver it to a particular person. The thing turned out to be about twenty pages long, but He gave me the entire thing in a flash. It told the person in allegorical form the things the person was experiencing at that time, and why, and what it's result would be. There was alot of stuff in it I did not even understand myself entirely, but that person did!
He once used an elk to save me from injury. I was riding a dirt bike up a road, wide open, fast as the thing would go. Suddenly I felt the urge to look to my right, and there standing on a hill was the most beautiful elk I ever saw, huge rack, just standing up there broadside to me, watching me. I stopped to watch back. After a minute or so, he left, and I continued up the road, just putting along, awed with the sight.
I rounded a curve and found a roadfull of mud, which, if I had hit it going the speed I was, probably would have killed me, and certainly would have broken a few things. How do I know He put that elk there? Can't say. I just know.
Anyway, He speaks in many ways, and we really have to pay attention sometimes. Sometimes it's such a still, small 'voice' we are not even sure we heard it. But if we act on it, we find out real quick it was really Him.
All we hear from Him must be weighed by scripture, though. He NEVER contradicts His Word, nor direct us to do something against His Word.
Well, I'll be watching for your report from the Walmart. God bless, and have a good evening.:)

miepie
Jan 16th 2008, 02:11 PM
Hi! :hug:

I hope I can encourage you a little bit with my story......... :hug:

It started when a car crashed into my bike when I was 12 years old, although I didn't know that at the time..... but after that I had always problems with my joints..... was finally diagnosed fibromyalgia and in a later stage the diagnose RSD came along......... RSD is a disease for which there is no cure and I am losing abilities to function more and more....... for instance in 2007 June I could still stand on my legs, and at this moment I need an elevator for my every move because if I stand on my legs, I just fall to the floor..... also my arms are getting worser and most of the days I can't eat myself anymore..........
But I am still happy and praising God..... you know why? Because He heard me...... 10 years ago I came to lay on this bed and I wanted a goal in my life to help other people...... He heard my cry and after 6 years of asking, He gave me this site, and besides that I met my current husband here and we're happily married with him as my caretaker, it was my way to reach out to people..... and 3 years later He gave me my own little Ministry of cardmaking for the church and for people who need encouragement or have something to celebrate...... it's running in my speed, sometimes it stands still for a few weeks but when I can I am working on the cards...... I am never short of people asking for cards but they all know that I can only do this on my terms.......

But as you see, for both things I prayed 6 - 10 years........ a year is nothing in the eyes of God....... I didn't know much from the Bible..... God gave me a husband who always was a Bibleteacher...... God has been really good to me and I will praise Him till my last breath..........

Continue to pray and study my friend...... it may take a while before the answer comes, but it will come in the end....... I know how you feel, I have asked the Lord to take me Home several times and even tried to help Him in that way by taking a lot of pills...... nowadays I am glad that I am still alive, and I know that one day you will feel the same........ :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

ProjectPeter
Jan 16th 2008, 02:13 PM
Hey Vette,

Unfortunately the thing about talking this way... we can't just sit down with a cup of coffee and have at things until we get somewhere.

You are asking for advice but really... you're pining about going on to heaven. I hear you there... shoot man... wished I could check on out too. But we can't. We can ask for signs... God just saying something... all of those things but in the end we only have one choice. Keep driving on. We endure to the end and when God determines our race is over... all that matters is that we kept on running towards that finish line.

You might well find this sort of community just the thing for you. It isn't going to replace the face to face relationships and it shouldn't. But... it can give you a platform to talk to others. Help others. And as you go... you'll make a friend or two. To boot... you can talk about the Bible and maybe grow a bit there and one can't ask for a better bonus than that.

As to advice... what can I say? In reading what you wrote... the best advice I could give you would be to go ahead on and move to Missouri. Keep in mind though... I don't know a lot. It ain't cheap... maybe you can't afford to just up and move. The advice I would give would simply be generic advice based on the little bit you've given. As to your spiritual state... I did answer that one for you although I don't think you've picked up on it. :) Share what you know. Share what you've learned. Share Christ. Share wisdom and common sense... Lord knows that is needed. In that... you are going to find at least part of that hole filled.

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 10:34 PM
Hi! :hug:

I hope I can encourage you a little bit with my story......... :hug:

It started when a car crashed into my bike when I was 12 years old, although I didn't know that at the time..... but after that I had always problems with my joints..... was finally diagnosed fibromyalgia and in a later stage the diagnose RSD came along......... RSD is a disease for which there is no cure and I am losing abilities to function more and more....... for instance in 2007 June I could still stand on my legs, and at this moment I need an elevator for my every move because if I stand on my legs, I just fall to the floor..... also my arms are getting worser and most of the days I can't eat myself anymore..........
But I am still happy and praising God..... you know why? Because He heard me...... 10 years ago I came to lay on this bed and I wanted a goal in my life to help other people...... He heard my cry and after 6 years of asking, He gave me this site, and besides that I met my current husband here and we're happily married with him as my caretaker, it was my way to reach out to people..... and 3 years later He gave me my own little Ministry of cardmaking for the church and for people who need encouragement or have something to celebrate...... it's running in my speed, sometimes it stands still for a few weeks but when I can I am working on the cards...... I am never short of people asking for cards but they all know that I can only do this on my terms.......

But as you see, for both things I prayed 6 - 10 years........ a year is nothing in the eyes of God....... I didn't know much from the Bible..... God gave me a husband who always was a Bibleteacher...... God has been really good to me and I will praise Him till my last breath..........

Continue to pray and study my friend...... it may take a while before the answer comes, but it will come in the end....... I know how you feel, I have asked the Lord to take me Home several times and even tried to help Him in that way by taking a lot of pills...... nowadays I am glad that I am still alive, and I know that one day you will feel the same........ :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

I am so glad everything has worked out great for you Mieke. In my case I am getting up in the years. Will be 62 in April. If I or God could or would make me change my feeling about not wanting to participate in this world, I could or would change my feeling.
Stan

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 10:48 PM
Project, I don't know what I was expecting from you and I apologize for my frustration. Perhaps I was hoping God would place some type of an answer into someone else, like yourself and pass it on to me. But I know this is between God and me. I am putting pressure on myself for the first time in a year. There is something I need to do but I sincerely do not know what it is. Today, I walked around Walmart. Mainly went there to walk around the store; but while there I thought there was a remote possibility an answer would come. Ended up at walmart's McDonnald eating a cheeseburger and comming back home. This has been going on for over 370 days and an answer needs to come before the end of this month.....but who am I to give God a deadline? It cant be done.

ProjectPeter
Jan 16th 2008, 11:19 PM
Oh don't sweat it. No big deal!

You are putting pressure on yourself. And don't put deadlines out... that is an exercise in futility. Been there, done it! Just be patient... time will tell. Even though you think it's already been long enough... apparently it hasn't. God is faithful. Trust Him.

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 11:24 PM
That's one advantage to this board, I guess. Not everyone has the answers we need, but there's usually someone who does. I've talked to alot of people on here, and for some I had what they needed, and for others I didn't, but someone else did. We each have a gift to share, but God uses those gifts where and how He will.
I was reading your post above about wishing God would say 'Hi, Stan'. You sure remind me of me.:) Sometimes I go for long periods without hearing anything from Him, to the point I wonder if He forgot I was down here. Then suddenly, out of the blue, He'll speak something. Not sure why He does that. Guess maybe it has to do with walking by faith.
I've never actually 'heard' His voice, with my ears. He speaks to people differently. Some with dreams and visions, others through reading His Word, some while they're standing in the shower.
For me, He just 'downloads' information into my mind, and it's up to me to put words to it all. But I know it's Him. I never actually hear 'words' from Him, just the entire concept all at once.
He had me write an allegorical story one time, and I had to deliver it to a particular person. The thing turned out to be about twenty pages long, but He gave me the entire thing in a flash. It told the person in allegorical form the things the person was experiencing at that time, and why, and what it's result would be. There was alot of stuff in it I did not even understand myself entirely, but that person did!
He once used an elk to save me from injury. I was riding a dirt bike up a road, wide open, fast as the thing would go. Suddenly I felt the urge to look to my right, and there standing on a hill was the most beautiful elk I ever saw, huge rack, just standing up there broadside to me, watching me. I stopped to watch back. After a minute or so, he left, and I continued up the road, just putting along, awed with the sight.
I rounded a curve and found a roadfull of mud, which, if I had hit it going the speed I was, probably would have killed me, and certainly would have broken a few things. How do I know He put that elk there? Can't say. I just know.
Anyway, He speaks in many ways, and we really have to pay attention sometimes. Sometimes it's such a still, small 'voice' we are not even sure we heard it. But if we act on it, we find out real quick it was really Him.
All we hear from Him must be weighed by scripture, though. He NEVER contradicts His Word, nor direct us to do something against His Word.
Well, I'll be watching for your report from the Walmart. God bless, and have a good evening.:)

That's quite a story about that Elk. God sure does work in mysterious ways.

I've always considered myself a survivor. When there was a problem ole Stan didn't need anyone to help. I'd fix it one way or another. This is how I have lived my life. In between relationships I'd just go to Match.com or Kiss.com and find me a female. Only wanted one thing and sometimes told them that. I have lived my life wrong.

What happened a year ago, I was totally commited into unconditionally turning myself over to God. I did this with no one's encouragement. It was time for me to quit living my life in sin. Doing things my way.

Today, I am sincerely afraid of me. I am afraid I will pack up and leave without His blessing. I promised Him that I would never return making decisions. He would have to give me directions. When I think "I've" got to get out of this house, I remember my promise to Him. This goes on day after day, week after week, month after month. Finally, I say to God, if you are not going to give me directions, than please take me home. Then I posted my wishes in the "Urgent Prayer Request" forum. Maybe if others prayed on my behalf, then it might happen.

Is it wrong to ask God to bring you home? Does scripture say it's wrong?

Corvette2000
Jan 16th 2008, 11:37 PM
Oh don't sweat it. No big deal!

You are putting pressure on yourself. And don't put deadlines out... that is an exercise in futility. Been there, done it! Just be patient... time will tell. Even though you think it's already been long enough... apparently it hasn't. God is faithful. Trust Him.

I lose trust in Him then regain it. It's a constant battle. It's a battle waiting on Him. It's a battle with myself to go through day after day. But then why is it time seems to fly? Is God punishing me for my years of sin?

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 12:17 AM
If God has forgiven you... then I'm banking on the fact that he ain't punishing you. Just teaching you something that perhaps in all your years... you've yet to learn. Patience. :)

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 12:27 AM
If God has forgiven you... then I'm banking on the fact that he ain't punishing you. Just teaching you something that perhaps in all your years... you've yet to learn. Patience. :)

Agreed and today patience is what I need. Another demon I've had to constantly fight is my selfish pride.

My fiance and I broke up because I felt her 30 year old son was being taken advantage of by an illegal hispanic 21 year old. To make a long story short they ended up married. My pride would not let me back off my stance. My fiance said we should not worry about his future but be happy that he is happy today. Her son was considerble overwight and had not dated anyone for several years. I should have backed off, he was her son and not mine.

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 01:43 AM
I have communicated with three of you on this private thread. Now originally I posted this on "Urgent Prayer Request" forum. It was immediately removed and placed here.

Now I ask you,

Why was I removed from the original forum? Where in Scripture does it say it is a sin or wrong to for me to ask God to bring me home? If there is nothing in the Bible that says it's a sin, why was it wrong for me to request others to pray for me? In your rules, does it say I can not make this kind of request?

Thanks, Stan

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 01:54 AM
Any time that we have a thread that may have a hint of suicidal... a mod will move it in here. It's a fine line some times that we have to walk on that... some folks don't out and say it... but it could easily be implied. That call was made on your thread until we knew what exactly was going on.

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 02:14 AM
Any time that we have a thread that may have a hint of suicidal... a mod will move it in here. It's a fine line some times that we have to walk on that... some folks don't out and say it... but it could easily be implied. That call was made on your thread until we knew what exactly was going on.

For some it might seem it's a hint of suicidal. My request was legit. Again, where in the Bible does it say its is wrong to pray to come home? I'm sixty-two & it's a little late to start over. I simply want to serve the Lord and partcipate if He has something for me to do. If he does not then why not ask Him to bring me home through prayer.

I've exercised patience over the past year. My car is too small to sleep in and it's almost time when I will have no choice but to move on. God only knows much how I wanted to find my answer here.

Would it be considered suicide, through your view, if He did bring me home?

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 02:17 AM
Not if He did it. And it was because of that "to some"... we moved it in here. :)

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 03:59 AM
Not if He did it. And it was because of that "to some"... we moved it in here. :)

I understand why you moved it. But again WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY I CAN NOT REQUEST TO BE BROUGHT HOME? This is a question you are avoiding, sir.

Kahtar
Jan 17th 2008, 04:53 AM
You can read about Elijah in the book of 1 Kings, and Jonah, in chapter 4. Both of these men asked God to let them die. Didn't happen though. He told Elijah to get off his duff (so to speak) and gave him a new direction.
He let Jonah know what He thought about Jonah's attitude.
Do you belong to the Lord, or to yourself? If you have given your life to Him, then who are you to even make such a request? Shall the pot demand the potter to smash him?
If you are His, He will use you in His time, not yours, and in His way, not yours.
I DO know where you're at, my friend. And I know well the misery of sitting on the shelf waiting to be used. But.....
Lamentations 3:25-26 The LORD [is] good unto them that wait for him, to the soul [that] seeketh him. (26) [It is] good that [a man] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
Isaiah 40:27-31 Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? (28) Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, [that] the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? [there is] no searching of his understanding. (29) He giveth power to the faint; and to [them that have] no might he increaseth strength. (30) Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (31) But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 05:00 AM
O God, you have set up circumstances and situations in my life to cause me to seek You. You are The Lord my God, full of compassion, and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfullness. Let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his riches; I understand and know You. All things are created for Your pleasure and Your pleasure is to show forth loving compassion. I will come and live in Your shelter, in the protection of the Most High God, and will find rest in the presence of the Almighty. Thank you God for chosing me. You have chosen me and have not rejected me. So I do not fear because You are with me. You are God and will strengthen me and help me. You will hold me up with Your righteous right hand. All those who come against me will surely be ashamed and disgraced.

I have asked You to forgive me of my sins and send into my heart Your Holy Spirit to comfort me, to give me power, and as proof to me, you adoped me as Your child. The Holy Spirit will lead me into all truth because He shall testify of Jesus, and He will give me power to testify of Jesus. You will speak to me through the Holy Spirit. Your Holy Spirit is a gentle whisper inside my heart telling me the path to walk in. If I walk in Your Spirit I will walk in love and will not sin. And I will see great and mighty things happen before me. Your Holy Spirit will gime me supernatural gifts that I may be blessed, and that I shall bless others through demonstrating Your love for them. Your Holy Spirit will be with me through out my whole life, and after You will receive me into Your glory.

You my Lord said to me I will rescue you because you love me. You will protect me because I trust in Your name. When I call on you, You will answer; You will be with me in my trouble. You have satisfied me with a long life and will give me my salvation. I will call on You in my day of trouble. You will deliver me, and I shall glorify You. It is my destiny.
Now Lord, I ask you to either use me or bring me home. In Jesus name.
Amen

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 05:10 AM
You can read about Elijah in the book of 1 Kings, and Jonah, in chapter 4. Both of these men asked God to let them die. Didn't happen though. He told Elijah to get off his duff (so to speak) and gave him a new direction.
He let Jonah know what He thought about Jonah's attitude.
Do you belong to the Lord, or to yourself? If you have given your life to Him, then who are you to even make such a request? Shall the pot demand the potter to smash him?
If you are His, He will use you in His time, not yours, and in His way, not yours.
I DO know where you're at, my friend. And I know well the misery of sitting on the shelf waiting to be used. But.....
Lamentations 3:25-26 The LORD [is] good unto them that wait for him, to the soul [that] seeketh him. (26) [It is] good that [a man] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
Isaiah 40:27-31 Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? (28) Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, [that] the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? [there is] no searching of his understanding. (29) He giveth power to the faint; and to [them that have] no might he increaseth strength. (30) Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (31) But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.



Not asking God to let me die. Simply asking God to bring me home. If I have to die to go home, that's His business. I have lived almost 62 years and if He wants me to remain in this world, then get me busy. I'm ready to do His will. I AM NOT GOING TO DO MY WILL. My free will is complete. I have done my free will and failed. That part of my life is over, done, gone. I ONLY WILL DO HIS WILL. If He has no will for me, then I want to go home.

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 05:31 AM
Seems some of you think I am suicidal. Rest assured, I am not. I turned myself over to God January 2007. I asked God to forgive me of my sins and surrendered to Him. I prayed, read the word and told Him that I am totally dependant upon him. After a year I asked God, always in Jesus name, to either use me or bring me home. I was created by God; now I am asking my Creator to either use me or take me home. Is that so wrong? Where can I find what I am doing wrong in the Bible?

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 03:11 PM
There were several men that thought the same in Scripture. Job is an example. WHen they said "they would rather never have been born" that was a Hebrew idiom for "I'm tired and I wanna go home." Here's the thing. You've prayed that and honestly... that is fine. You made your request known to God. Apparently though... God isn't ready to bring you home of yet. So now what?

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 05:01 PM
There were several men that thought the same in Scripture. Job is an example. WHen they said "they would rather never have been born" that was a Hebrew idiom for "I'm tired and I wanna go home." Here's the thing. You've prayed that and honestly... that is fine. You made your request known to God. Apparently though... God isn't ready to bring you home of yet. So now what?

My only choice is to try to remain positive. My prayer is asking Him to give me a direction in this world or take me home. I can only hope for an answer today. If it does not happen today, tomorrow is another day.

The only modification I have made to my prayer over past week or so is the "or take me home". Why would God refuse my request? If He has other plans for me, that's great. I'm ready.

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 05:19 PM
You aren't ready though. You aren't content and contentment is important. Be content where you are... then God will move.

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 06:09 PM
You are correct. I am on pins and needles. It's hard to be content, not knowing what lies in the future. I know God has forgiven me, but I am angry at myself for not surrendering to him 30 years ago. Over the past year, little things come back to haunt me, like when I cheated on a test naming the capitol of each state in the 9th grade. Scored an A because I had a pre prepared sheet that I turned in. I am not satisfied with how I prepared myself to be at age 62. This should be the finest time of my life. Here I sit, all alone. Neither my daughter in So Florida nor my sister and brother in Arkansas know anything about what has been going on with me over the past year. When we talk or email, I tell them how great things are going. I've opened up to a local pastor who hosts a daily local radio program. Besides him, and you & Kahtar are the only ones I have turned to, besides God.

Like I said, I do not know God has in store for me but I want to thank you guys for listening to me. Thank you so much.....Stan

ProjectPeter
Jan 17th 2008, 06:21 PM
No problem.

And here some biblical advice for you. If you can get this in your heart... then I really do believe things will take a new turn for you.

Forget what lies behind you. Press on to what lies ahead.... no matter what that is. As long as it is focused on Christ... then you are doing what you need do. :)

Corvette2000
Jan 17th 2008, 11:47 PM
No problem.

And here some biblical advice for you. If you can get this in your heart... then I really do believe things will take a new turn for you.

Forget what lies behind you. Press on to what lies ahead.... no matter what that is. As long as it is focused on Christ... then you are doing what you need do. :)

Will do. Soon, I will find out what lies ahead. As always, the answer lies in His hands. He knows my all of our situations. I am not the only person with problems.

ProjectPeter
Jan 18th 2008, 12:57 PM
1 Peter 1:3 ¶Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
4 to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
5 who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
7 that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
8 and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
9 obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.