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buffalo1d
Jan 30th 2008, 07:37 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God bless

Kat2911
Jan 30th 2008, 07:42 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God bless
Where will the party take place? Personally, and I'm sure some people will have issues with this, I would be okay with hanging out at a friends house while they drink. All of our friends know we don't drink, and they know the reasons why. We figure if they still invited us to functions that involve drinking, why not go and possibly show someone there that you can have fun without alcohol.

Though if the party was at a place that I would feel uncomfortable going to.... I would not attend. Or if I knew other things might be going on at the party that I would have a real problem with, I probably wouldn't go. There's no need for me to put myself in that situation, wedding or not. Just my opinion.

threebigrocks
Jan 30th 2008, 07:44 PM
Let me ask you this buffalo1d. Does your family and friends know you are a Christian?

Buck shot
Jan 30th 2008, 08:04 PM
I know this sounds weird but would you take Jesus to the party? If you have His spirit within you (temple of God), you take Him where you go.

Are you a church member? What is your churches views on this? If you are a member then you represent them wherever you go.

What will you gain by going? Showing non-christians that you can tolerate sin is not a victory for you or Christ. They already know they can have fun without alcohol, they just choose not to.

Are you seeking justification? If so that is this answer itself. You do not seek justification for things that are good.

You asked our opinions. Mine is, never compromise. Flee from anything that even appears to be sin.

DO NOT GO TO THE PARTY AND LET THEM KNOW WHY IF THEY ASK.

buffalo1d
Jan 30th 2008, 08:06 PM
threebigrocks, my family does, I am not sure if they all know or not, pretty big family.

militarywife
Jan 30th 2008, 08:11 PM
I was just facing a similar situation which I posted about. I prayed about it. You need to pray about it as well. I cant tell you to go or not to go. I do know that God will answer you if you ask.

threebigrocks
Jan 30th 2008, 08:19 PM
threebigrocks, my family does, I am not sure if they all know or not, pretty big family.

Honestly, if you think about it, what sorts of things will be happening or could be happening that would make a mockery of you and the faith even if you go and "stay clean"? It sounds like it's something you should stay away from.

Kat2911
Jan 30th 2008, 08:26 PM
I know this sounds weird but would you take Jesus to the party? If you have His spirit within you (temple of God), you take Him where you go.

Are you a church member? What is your churches views on this? If you are a member then you represent them wherever you go.

What will you gain by going? Showing non-christians that you can tolerate sin is not a victory for you or Christ. They already know they can have fun without alcohol, they just choose not to.

Are you seeking justification? If so that is this answer itself. You do not seek justification for things that are good.

You asked our opinions. Mine is, never compromise. Flee from anything that even appears to be sin.

DO NOT GO TO THE PARTY AND LET THEM KNOW WHY IF THEY ASK.
Considering Jesus came for the sick, not for the healthy, and that He spent the majority of his time with prostitutes, liars, adulterers, etc., it seems as if He wouldn't walk away from them for the simple fact that they are drinking. He would use that time to witness to them.

I just don't think you can give a blanket statement of, do not go to parties where drinking will be involved. I've seen many blessings come from the time we spend with people in situations such as these. :D Granted, it was never a "party" that got out of hand--more just some friends hanging out and drinking a little.

militarywife
Jan 30th 2008, 08:35 PM
Considering Jesus came for the sick, not for the healthy, and that He spent the majority of his time with prostitutes, liars, adulterers, etc., it seems as if He wouldn't walk away from them for the simple fact that they are drinking. He would use that time to witness to them.

I just don't think you can give a blanket statement of, do not go to parties where drinking will be involved. I've seen many blessings come from the time we spend with people in situations such as these. :D Granted, it was never a "party" that got out of hand--more just some friends hanging out and drinking a little.
I do agree here.
I think the more important issue is will the bachelor party be a stumbling block? It may not be. Everyone is different in the strengths and weaknesses.

buffalo1d
Jan 30th 2008, 09:00 PM
How do you know if it is a stumbling block?

militarywife
Jan 30th 2008, 09:04 PM
How do you know if it is a stumbling block?

Will you be tempted to participate in something that may cause you to sin?
If you will be tempted...will you be strong enough to resist?

Everyone is different. I personally have to stay away from certain situations because I am not 100% confident that I would resist certain temptations. So for ME, it is better to stay away until I mature in Christ.

Kat2911
Jan 30th 2008, 09:06 PM
I do agree here.
I think the more important issue is will the bachelor party be a stumbling block? It may not be. Everyone is different in the strengths and weaknesses.
Very good point which definitely deserves repeating.

Buck shot
Jan 30th 2008, 09:11 PM
Considering Jesus came for the sick, not for the healthy, and that He spent the majority of his time with prostitutes, liars, adulterers, etc., it seems as if He wouldn't walk away from them for the simple fact that they are drinking. He would use that time to witness to them.

I just don't think you can give a blanket statement of, do not go to parties where drinking will be involved. I've seen many blessings come from the time we spend with people in situations such as these. :D Granted, it was never a "party" that got out of hand--more just some friends hanging out and drinking a little.

I just gave my opinion as asked. You do not have to agree. I don't have a problem saying don't go around alcohol when I have seen the outcome in my own life. I have not seen the blessing you have.

I don't think that a bachelor party is the type of place Jesus hung out and it does not sound like the question was "should I go there to witness?" I seriously dought the intent was to even bring a bible along.

Jesus did not come for the "sick or the healthy", He came for all of mankind. He did not spend the majority of His time with the folks you described either. The ones that He was around came to Him, He did not go to them. I believe He spent most of His time in prayer. Them men and women that surrounded Him most of the time were disciples not who you mentioned.

buffalo1d
Jan 30th 2008, 09:12 PM
It would probably just be me sitting there doing nothing then, I am in wheelchair.

Kat2911
Jan 30th 2008, 09:16 PM
I just gave my opinion as asked. You do not have to agree. I don't have a problem saying don't go around alcohol when I have seen the outcome in my own life. I have not seen the blessing you have.

Very true. I apologize if I came across in a negative manner. I definitely respect what you said as your opinion.



Jesus did not come for the "sick or the healthy", He came for all of mankind. He did not spend the majority of His time with the folks you described either. The ones that He was around came to Him, He did not go to them. I believe He spent most of His time in prayer. Them men and women that surrounded Him most of the time were disciples not who you mentioned.

Luke 5:27-31
27 After this he went out, and saw a tax collector, named Levi, sitting at the tax office; and he said to him, "Follow me." 28 And he left everything, and rose and followed him. 29 And Levi made him a great feast in his house; and there was a large company of tax collectors and others sitting at table with them. 30 And the Pharisees and their scribes murmured against his disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" 31 And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

IPet2_9
Jan 30th 2008, 09:30 PM
I have no problem being around alcohol, either. And I don't drink, because I don't drink. Usually I just don't WANT to be around drinking. But in your case, you want to be there for your cousin. I think it's good for you to be there. But if you ever got into a situation where you couldn't be there and NOT participate--like if there were strippers or something--well, you can say you went. Oh, look at the time...ciao guys....

Buck shot
Jan 30th 2008, 09:34 PM
It would probably just be me sitting there doing nothing then, I am in wheelchair.



Don't sell yourself short because of the wheelchair! My dad-in-law is one of the men I think most of in this world and he did anything he wanted without the use of legs. He is the only guy I know who built hand controls for his ATV and riding mower.


I am sorry for lashing out Kat2911. Please forgive me :kiss:
In Luke 5. I believe He is speaking of the spiritually sick. We all know that He came for all of us.

I wish I could believe that people go to those parties to be a witness but I guess I just feel that's the way we justify what we could not in any other way.

CoffeeBeaned
Jan 30th 2008, 09:47 PM
If you are not friends with sinners and avoid them, when will you have a chance to tell them about Jesus? Even though you may not witness at the party, you may make a contact that will help you build a relationship with someone later.

However, if there are going to be strippers or pornography, I probably would skip it as it would be difficult to be there and not to "partake."

Kat2911
Jan 30th 2008, 09:52 PM
Don't sell yourself short because of the wheelchair! My dad-in-law is one of the men I think most of in this world and he did anything he wanted without the use of legs. He is the only guy I know who built hand controls for his ATV and riding mower.


I am sorry for lashing out Kat2911. Please forgive me :kiss:
In Luke 5. I believe He is speaking of the spiritually sick. We all know that He came for all of us.

I wish I could believe that people go to those parties to be a witness but I guess I just feel that's the way we justify what we could not in any other way.
No forgiveness needed. :hug: Words and intentions can get muddled via the Internet. :)

I definitely understand your hesitancy, I do. This situation just kinda hits home for me a little bit. If you will, allow me to explain...
DH and I were very good friends with a couple whom we met at church. We would do mundane things with them like watch American Idol and do "trivia night" at the local mexican restaurant. Sometimes one or both of them would drink beers or margaritas (sp?) in the process. When DH was offered a position on our church staff, we had to be a bit more open about us not drinking. I think those friends took offense to that because since DH has been on staff, they have really distanced themselves from us. :cry: We haven't hung out with them since June. :cry::cry:

Now, DH and I may have been rather blatant in professing that we do not drink when he was first on staff, probably because we knew people knew we were friends with some who did. But that totally pushed people away. Though we haven't hung out with those frinds since June, they stopped coming to church alltogether months before that.

Looking back, I do not think we took the right approach. Now, when we are invited to things such as Christmas parties which we know will involve drinking at someone house, we don't refuse. We definitely don't stay as late as most people :lol:, but we don't refuse. We still do "trivia nights" with some other friends who drink, and we see others from our church there. And honestly, I'm no longer afriad that people will see us with someone having a margarita.

To get a bit more on track with the OP though, if this party were at a strip club or some place like that, I wouldn't hesitate to say "no thank you," but maybe try to meet up with some people before or afterwards.

buffalo1d
Jan 31st 2008, 12:21 AM
what if illegal stuff goes on?

Athanasius
Jan 31st 2008, 12:27 AM
what if illegal stuff goes on?

Like what? Weed? Or harder stuff?
Using that example, I personally don't have that much of an issue being around certain friends when they are high, the issue I have is simply that it makes me uncomfortable. If they were getting high off 'harder' drugs, then I definitely would not be around them.

If this is a bachelors, party (I haven't read the thread so I don't know if this has already been mentioned) then what of the possibility of them hiring 'entertainment'? Also something I wouldn't be around.

But I think it really depends on the person in question; is it going to make you stumble? Is it going to ruin your witness among the people that know you? If you can handle it, then I don't see an issue--you don't have to stay as late as everyone. But if you can't, then you already know what the right thing is.

Judging by your questions, I'd say you are very uneasy with the prospect of going.

Gulah Papyrus
Jan 31st 2008, 01:43 AM
Like what? Weed? Or harder stuff?
Using that example, I personally don't have that much of an issue being around certain friends when they are high, the issue I have is simply that it makes me uncomfortable. If they were getting high off 'harder' drugs, then I definitely would not be around them.

If this is a bachelors, party (I haven't read the thread so I don't know if this has already been mentioned) then what of the possibility of them hiring 'entertainment'? Also something I wouldn't be around.

But I think it really depends on the person in question; is it going to make you stumble? Is it going to ruin your witness among the people that know you? If you can handle it, then I don't see an issue--you don't have to stay as late as everyone. But if you can't, then you already know what the right thing is.

Judging by your questions, I'd say you are very uneasy with the prospect of going.
Xel'Naga hits the nail on the head once again. You are not wrong in going to the party. If while you are there you realize that you aren't comfortable in that situation then you can always leave. If you know beforehand that you will not be comfortable in that setting then don't go. If you explain to the groom why you won't be there I would think he would understand, afterall, he respects you and your friendship enough to ask you to be in his wedding, I'm sure he would respect your reasons for not wanting to attend his party.

The most important thing to him, I would think, is that you are there with him on his wedding day.

Gentile
Jan 31st 2008, 03:52 PM
You should definitely go! Someone mentioned would you take Jesus, to me that is going way overboad and being obessed with your beliefs. Jesus partied with his disciples all the time.

You dont have to do anything crazy or drink if you dont want to but not going would be a selfish me imo. Just because you are christian you dont have lock yourself in the house.

Some of you on this board are a bit to holy rolly, sorry for the insult but its true. Being a christian doesnt mean stop living.

CoffeeBeaned
Jan 31st 2008, 03:57 PM
Being a christian doesnt mean stop living.

But it does mean stop living for yourself.

Mograce2U
Jan 31st 2008, 04:06 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God blessIt is an honor to be asked to be in the wedding party and if you have accepted, then by all means go to the party (assuming it is not at Hooters!). You can stay as long as you feel comfortable and leave early - perhaps before they all get drunk if that is what you anticipate will happen. Being in the world yet not of the world is how we are to live.

Rejoice with those who rejoice... which like mourning with those who mourn does not have to be in the same manner that they do. Because your hope is in Christ, that is YOUR joy! Hope you have a blessed time.

BrianW
Jan 31st 2008, 04:08 PM
I'd say go and have a good time until the strippers show up. Then say, "God bless", go home and pray for them all.

Adam168
Jan 31st 2008, 04:14 PM
A bachelor party where people will be drinking and where there very well may be strippers? Of course you shouldn't go! Very easy question.

Buck shot
Jan 31st 2008, 05:48 PM
It is an honor to be asked to be in the wedding party and if you have accepted, then by all means go to the party (assuming it is not at Hooters!). .

WOW. I am amazed at the answers here. Go/Don't go. You have to make up your own mind but I hope that we can find a better way to draw the line.

I am one of those mentioned as "holy roller" and cannot see why if you would say it's okay to go to a party that you know is going to be a "sinful worldly" bachelor party as was stated in the first post you would say they could not go to Hooters. As I understand the girls must wear clothing covering more than a swimsuit of today. Would you tell them not to go to a beach? Hooters does serve alcohol but so does the Outback. Would you not go to a "party" there? I don't think that Hooters allows weed to be sold there. How could you draw a line between weed and harder drugs Xel'Nega? Both are illegal in the US.
A lot of us are trying to push our spot to draw the line when we should be really looking at where Jesus would.
Prodigy, where do you get that Jesus partied all the time? He healed, He taught, He eat, He slept even though He did not have a bed, He prayed, He took beatings, He died, and He rose but where did He party? Show me with scripture, please.
Yes I am a holy roller (I am not offended by that coment at all) , but I am trying to look at all the views. If you are moving the line, where will it stop? What drugs are okay? How much alcohol can you consume? How much sin should you be a witness to before it is enough for you not to want to be around it?

Myself, I hate sin and that was my first step. I do have fun in life and I have it more abundantly (John10:10)

Free Indeed
Jan 31st 2008, 06:03 PM
Prodigy, where do you get that Jesus partied all the time? He healed, He taught, He eat, He slept even though He did not have a bed, He prayed, He took beatings, He died, and He rose but where did He party? Show me with scripture, please.

I completely agree that Christ didn't "party all the time". He was, as the Prophet Isaiah wrote, a "man of sorrows, acquainted with grief". However, it could still be argued that while he was not a "partier" he also condoned party celebrations from time to time: the wedding feast at Cana is an example.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with the guys and having a couple of beers, if that's all it is. But when we bring things like illegal drugs and strippers into the equation, it's a whole different ballgame. What kind of example or witness are we setting by hanging out in a place where people are committing crimes? Christ would not refuse drug users, but I certainly don't think he'd sit idly by while people poison themselves and say nothing.

As for the strippers, that's a bad deal on all sides. Not only does it entice lust in the males there, but by participating in an event that hires strippers, we would be sponsoring their exploitation. Strippers are someone's daughter, sister, mother. Would anybody here really want their female relatives participating in such a thing?

Gentile
Jan 31st 2008, 06:06 PM
WOW. I am amazed at the answers here. Go/Don't go. You have to make up your own mind but I hope that we can find a better way to draw the line.

I am one of those mentioned as "holy roller" and cannot see why if you would say it's okay to go to a party that you know is going to be a "sinful worldly" bachelor party as was stated in the first post you would say they could not go to Hooters. As I understand the girls must wear clothing covering more than a swimsuit of today. Would you tell them not to go to a beach? Hooters does serve alcohol but so does the Outback. Would you not go to a "party" there? I don't think that Hooters allows weed to be sold there. How could you draw a line between weed and harder drugs Xel'Nega? Both are illegal in the US.
A lot of us are trying to push our spot to draw the line when we should be really looking at where Jesus would.
Prodigy, where do you get that Jesus partied all the time? He healed, He taught, He eat, He slept even though He did not have a bed, He prayed, He took beatings, He died, and He rose but where did He party? Show me with scripture, please.
Yes I am a holy roller (I am not offended by that coment at all) , but I am trying to look at all the views. If you are moving the line, where will it stop? What drugs are okay? How much alcohol can you consume? How much sin should you be a witness to before it is enough for you not to want to be around it?

Myself, I hate sin and that was my first step. I do have fun in life and I have it more abundantly (John10:10)

I cant pin point a certain scripture but Jesus was always chilling hanging with his diciples drinking wine, that is a nice casual party right there.

Sin is alll around us, period. It is impossible to avoid. GOD wont judge you wrongly if you are at Hooters, bars, stags, etc. If you are true to GOD (which you are) he knows where your heart lays and your beliefs. Like I said you can be Holy and sin-less without the constant worry and the beating up of yourself with the surroundings of the world.

The world is a battlefield!

Mograce2U
Jan 31st 2008, 06:32 PM
WOW. I am amazed at the answers here. Go/Don't go. You have to make up your own mind but I hope that we can find a better way to draw the line.

I am one of those mentioned as "holy roller" and cannot see why if you would say it's okay to go to a party that you know is going to be a "sinful worldly" bachelor party as was stated in the first post you would say they could not go to Hooters. As I understand the girls must wear clothing covering more than a swimsuit of today. Would you tell them not to go to a beach? Hooters does serve alcohol but so does the Outback. Would you not go to a "party" there? I don't think that Hooters allows weed to be sold there. How could you draw a line between weed and harder drugs Xel'Nega? Both are illegal in the US.
A lot of us are trying to push our spot to draw the line when we should be really looking at where Jesus would.
Prodigy, where do you get that Jesus partied all the time? He healed, He taught, He eat, He slept even though He did not have a bed, He prayed, He took beatings, He died, and He rose but where did He party? Show me with scripture, please.
Yes I am a holy roller (I am not offended by that coment at all) , but I am trying to look at all the views. If you are moving the line, where will it stop? What drugs are okay? How much alcohol can you consume? How much sin should you be a witness to before it is enough for you not to want to be around it?

Myself, I hate sin and that was my first step. I do have fun in life and I have it more abundantly (John10:10)If you are going to hate sin, then it ought to be your own! How do you plan to live in the world if you must separate from all the sinners in it? This party is for a relative whose wedding he is taking a part in. If he wants to draw the line to avoid whatever might tempt him to sin - be it alcohol or scantily clad women - that is his choice. But if he is not tempted by those things - as not all are, then why can't he go? As well as leave when he wants - like if prostitutes show up or something. Which he can find out beforehand if that is in the plan, in which case he might want to forego the party altogether. Discernment is always needed no matter what - as well as self examination; that is how choices are made. Not from fear of "contamination" by the presence of sinners who lack such discernment.

RobbieP
Jan 31st 2008, 06:36 PM
There is a book I have on my desk that gives very good guidelines in this situation. And in this book there are things not to do-

1st Peter 3:11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
1st Thessolians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

then there are verses that make things clear what to do like " BE YE HOLY as I am holy" and that is directed at us.


I don't know, we sound like we are trying to put human guidelines when we have the book in front of us. There's many many many verses that would apply...many many many....

So by all means , if it is a place you should be, go. I have a feeling the Holy Spirit may be knocking though, if you are on the board asking us. You may want to listen to Him.

It saddens me because I was once a "Christian" trying to justify my poor actions and I was miserable ..then I realized He means what He says, so I started reading and applying what I read to ME and only ME....I have never been happier and joyful..

God wrote the Book for a reason...and means what He says...

Signed,
Another Holy Roller and loving it

threebigrocks
Jan 31st 2008, 06:38 PM
You should definitely go! Someone mentioned would you take Jesus, to me that is going way overboad and being obessed with your beliefs. Jesus partied with his disciples all the time.

You dont have to do anything crazy or drink if you dont want to but not going would be a selfish me imo. Just because you are christian you dont have lock yourself in the house.

Some of you on this board are a bit to holy rolly, sorry for the insult but its true. Being a christian doesnt mean stop living.

Jesus wasn't here to party.

We should be out in the world so long as we don't resemble the world. If someone walks into a strip club, or into that bachleor's party with very possibly ungodly plans, would the Christian stand out? Probably not. They would have either never gone or given themselves over to worldly and fleshy desires and looked like everyone else.

And, I'll consider it a compliment to most likely be lumped into the "holy rolly" group!

Buck shot
Jan 31st 2008, 06:57 PM
I cant pin point a certain scripture but Jesus was always chilling hanging with his diciples drinking wine, that is a nice casual party right there.

The world is a battlefield!

We agree this is a battlefield, I cannot agree that Jesus was always chilling or hanging out. I have to admit this is the first time that picture has ever entered my thoughts. The examples that come to mind are when Jesus spent all day teaching and then fed 5,000 with a few loaves and fishes because he could not send them away hungry or when He asked the disciples to stay up and pray for Him in the garden. This is the image I have of our Savior.


If you are going to hate sin, then it ought to be your own! How do you plan to live in the world if you must separate from all the sinners in it? .

:cry:Believe me I do hate my sin, even the sins that have already been cast as far as the East is from the West and He remembers them no more. I do not seperate myselves from sinners and nor do I suggest others should. I welcome them to come where I am for I have been called out from where they are. I know, another Holy roller comment. I can't help it, I have been redeemed and I do not want to walk in that world again. There is nothing but pain and distruction there. I do not live in a sad state but in peace and joy that I am overcoming (not finished yet) the cares of this world. I have found where true joy and peace and love come from and I want the world to see a change.:pp

Gentile
Jan 31st 2008, 07:15 PM
If you are going to hate sin, then it ought to be your own! How do you plan to live in the world if you must separate from all the sinners in it?

My point exactly!

Partaker of Christ
Jan 31st 2008, 07:33 PM
I believe that it is a matter of the conscience and/or witness.

a) Would your going give you a poor conscience?
When we have a poor conscience, it affects our faith and our boldness.

b) Would your going affect someone else's conscience?
If your cousin knows you are a Christian, he may have thought about it first, and decided that it is only polite to invite you. If you go, he may feel bad about putting you in an awkward position.
Perhaps someone in your family is being, or will be challenged by the Holy Spirit. They may be watching your witness.
There are many possibilities of what we do, that could affect others.

Kat2911
Jan 31st 2008, 07:42 PM
then there are verses that make things clear what to do like " BE YE HOLY as I am holy" and that is directed at us.

Are we called to be "set apart" FROM the world, or IN the world? I like to think it's the latter.

CoffeeBeaned
Jan 31st 2008, 08:03 PM
Psalm 4:3 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=23&chapter=4&verse=3&version=31&context=verse)
Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him.

John 15:19 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=50&chapter=15&verse=19&version=31&context=verse)
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

1 John 2:15 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=69&chapter=2&verse=15&version=31&context=verse)
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

James 4:4 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=66&chapter=4&verse=4&version=31&context=verse)
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

1 John 3:13 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=69&chapter=3&verse=13&version=31&context=verse)
Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you.

RobbieP
Jan 31st 2008, 10:02 PM
Are we called to be "set apart" FROM the world, or IN the world? I like to think it's the latter.

Titus 2:12 -Teaching us that, denying ungodliness andworldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this presentworld

I am suggesting that our standards should be defined by the Word and that should be what we wish to achieve. I am not suggesting that he doesn't go, but his decision should be based on what the Word says and not the World...One letter made the 'world 'of difference:rofl:...I'm being silly....

He says what He says in the Bible.....now whether folks choose to take it seriously is their choice...but He says what He says...

threebigrocks
Jan 31st 2008, 10:07 PM
We cannot hide from the world, we are called by God to go out into it through the Great Commission to take Him to the world. I don't see any Christian who won't go to the grocery store or the bank or whatnot because it puts them in the midts of the world. We certainly can and have no choice but to function with the others around us, we have no choice.

We cannot love the world and also love God. If we go to a place or put ourselves into a situation for the purpose of enjoying some very worldly things, it's another story. Go watch the game and have a couple beers. But don't go watch the game and drink so much that you fall around stupid.

IMHO, that bachelor party as described in the OP, as are most bachelor parties, aren't just a bunch of guys hanging out having some fun. It's strip clubs, purposely drinking to get fall down drunk, doing stupid things in a gluttonous and drunkard way. In this day and age, that's the norm.

buffalo1d, have you called to ask any of the guys what the plan is? I think that would be fair enough. If you feel you need to support your friend, then take him out to lunch before the whole thing starts. Do something outside of the party itself. Now that would be stepping up to certainly witness to an unbeliever whom you care about who is about to make an incredible step in life! At least then you can talk. Doubt that would happen in a way that would produce fruit once the drink runs freely and some chic hops out of a cake.

HisLeast
Feb 4th 2008, 03:18 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God bless

Hey Buffalo,

You must do what you feel necessary so you do not sin. If that means not attending, then thats perfectly ok. But before you decide, let me tell you my story.

A couple years back, one of my best friends asked me to be his best man. He planned his own bachelor party for Las Vegas (you can see where this is going right?). Not to say I wasn't tempted, but I abstained from the things I considered sinful. I didn't gamble a dime. I never drank to excess. When it came time for the strip clubs, I went with my friends, but I made it clear that I didn't approve.

So two of the guys got right into the show, while I went over to the bar where I couldn't see the dancers. What a wealth of opportunity to witness! One of my other friends came over to the bar with me to talk about why I held myself to a higher standards. In so doing, he decided to abstain from the adultery as well. He's since read C.S. Lewis' collected works and explained to me how they changed his life. He's on his way to knowing the Lord now. I also talked to a couple the dancers about why I didn't want to watch or have private dances with them. Maybe (just maybe) they're that much closer to knowing they don't have to debase themselves in such a way.

Now, none of this works unless you can stand in the face of temptation, and to be honest, on my way down I had no idea of I could. I'm glad I did though.

Thats my story.

Mograce2U
Feb 4th 2008, 07:34 PM
HisLeast,
Apparently you prepared yourself to take a stand if necessary, which would not have worked I'm sure if you had not. It is possible to be contaminated/defiled by the sins of others if we let ourselves unwittingly get sucked into them. The wise man who knows what is prudent and holds fast to that, is not likely to get seduced by the sins others do without conscience. Even when things he didn't know might happen, do. Holiness can be practiced in the midst of a crooked and perverse world - we need not be hermits; but we do need to let the word of the Lord give us wisdom & discernment. If one knows where he is weak might cause him to be compromised, then he ought not go. But even those who are wise, who think they are standing fast, need to take heed lest they fall. (1 Cor 10:12). Keeping one's wits about them - is needed at all times!

groovemongrel
Feb 4th 2008, 09:40 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God bless

If you go, maybe somebody will see Christ in you and make a change for the better. Unfortunately, if it does happen, it will probably take place when they are hungover the next day. :)

MMC
Feb 6th 2008, 03:42 PM
A lot of us are trying to push our spot to draw the line when we should be really looking at where Jesus would. How much sin should you be a witness to before it is enough for you not to want to be around it?


How can someone be around sinners and not around sin? :confused

HisLeast
Feb 6th 2008, 05:07 PM
Jesus wasn't here to party.

And yet he did so. At Cana he performed his first miracle of turning water into wine. He called Zachius the tax collector out of the tree and broke bread with him.

Athanasius
Feb 6th 2008, 05:14 PM
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How can someone be around sinners and not around sin? :confused

Huh? I thought we were all sinners?

St_Michael
Feb 6th 2008, 05:18 PM
I guess the question to myself would be....

What possible good could come from this?

:)

That simple Q has kept me out of a lot of trouble.

MMC
Feb 6th 2008, 05:38 PM
Huh? I thought we were all sinners?

That's my point.

Lefty
Feb 6th 2008, 06:21 PM
Hi, my cousin asked me to be in his wedding. He is non christian like everybody else in the wedding. The bachelor party will be one of those drinking sinful type ones because my family are partiers and I am in the wedding and am pobably suppose to be at the party. What am I suppose to do? Should I go to the bachelor party? Any help will do, thanks. God bless

You should be thankful and enthusiastic to be in the wedding party because it's a God ordained ceremony that you can serve as witness to. Even if no one else there is a believer and doesn't recognize the sanctity of the institution, at least you and the minister can.

As far as the bachelor party; if it's the usual type of bachelor party, I'd say don't go because the purpose is to sin. That's it's raison d'etre. Pack as much sin into one night before the 'fun' ends, right? Do you want to be a part of that? Don't try to stand off and act clean while the others are being stupid, just don't be there.

Suppose someone there who isn't a Christian now, becomes one in the future. You're example of avoiding sinful situations altogether will serve them better than trying to resist while in harm's way. Most times they'll fail.

Yes we all sin. But don't invite it. If anyone's down on you for not showing up the previous night, make up for it by being upbeat on the wedding day.

I<3Jesus
Feb 6th 2008, 07:08 PM
I do not agree at all with the concept of bachelor and bachelorette parties. I have had several run ins with my fiance's friends because of this. I personally do not think that there is cause to mourn your single self a few days before you give yourself into holy matrimony. The guys argue that it is just a get together for the boys to celebrate together, but why do you need to have naked women there?

HisLeast
Feb 6th 2008, 07:14 PM
I do not agree at all with the concept of bachelor and bachelorette parties. I have had several run ins with my fiance's friends because of this. I personally do not think that there is cause to mourn your single self a few days before you give yourself into holy matrimony. The guys argue that it is just a get together for the boys to celebrate together, but why do you need to have naked women there?

No one says you do. We didn't for mine. But we did have a party, and it was fantastic.

Lefty
Feb 6th 2008, 07:56 PM
No one says you do. We didn't for mine. But we did have a party, and it was fantastic.

Thankfully some guys see fit to have 'good' bachelor parties. My first was one where all the couples' friends, both guys and women, were invited, and no one got down in the gutter. They should all be that way.

HisLeast
Feb 6th 2008, 08:21 PM
Thankfully some guys see fit to have 'good' bachelor parties. My first was one where all the couples' friends, both guys and women, were invited, and no one got down in the gutter. They should all be that way.

Why? There's nothing wrong with guys getting together with "just the guys". Marraige is an event in your life that changes absolutely everything. What's wrong with the guys getting together to celebrate and reminisce together?

My wife didn't feel "left out" when I had my bachelor party, and despite being tame by the world's standard, she wanted nothing to do with it. Neither did I want anything to do with her bachelorette party.

CoffeeBeaned
Feb 6th 2008, 09:06 PM
I don't think there is anthing wrong with bachelor/bachelorette parties if they are celebratory of the marriage and not of the single life.

For example, I have been to bachelorette parties where all the girls gave the bride-to-be "stuff" to "enjoy" with her husband after the wedding.;)

This seems to be to celebrate the marriage rather than celebrating the single life and is probably best done just among the ladies.

I<3Jesus
Feb 6th 2008, 09:29 PM
I'm jaded, I have plenty of stories to share as to why, but I doubt they would be deemed appropriate on this board. Suffice to say I just do not like 'em.

Lefty
Feb 6th 2008, 11:21 PM
Why? There's nothing wrong with guys getting together with "just the guys". Marraige is an event in your life that changes absolutely everything. What's wrong with the guys getting together to celebrate and reminisce together?

My wife didn't feel "left out" when I had my bachelor party, and despite being tame by the world's standard, she wanted nothing to do with it. Neither did I want anything to do with her bachelorette party.

We agree. I just meant that I liked clean bachelor parties, not specifically mixed ones like my friend had. That was just his particular his way of keeping things clean, knowing his buddies would be nice if there were girls around.