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JordanW
May 13th 2008, 01:10 AM
I've had this problem for like the last week, and it's killing me.:cry::giveup:

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 01:26 AM
Can anyone give me some answers to help my problem?:mad::B:cry:

HisLeast
May 13th 2008, 01:37 AM
Can anyone give me some answers to help my problem?:mad::B:cry:

What exactly is your problem brother? And if you're not comfortable talking about it here, you can join "The Vigil" social group. Nothing but brothers who understand the situation there.

amazzin
May 13th 2008, 01:37 AM
Can anyone give me some answers to help my problem?:mad::B:cry:

Listen up Jordon

It is no different than stopping smoking as you did in April 2008. Just don't do it. Resist. It's hard I know, but when temptation somes go to the Word of God and read un til the desire gors away. The more you train your body to resist, the easier it gets.

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 02:08 AM
I've had this problem for like the last week, and it's killing me.:( It just seems like it's an alternative to smoking or something, I'm not sure, but whenever I catch myself doing it, it is so out of the ordinary and just all of a sudden I want to look at porn and masturbate, and then afterwards, I feel so horrible and so far away from God. :(

amazzin
May 13th 2008, 02:11 AM
I've had this problem for like the last week, and it's killing me.:( It just seems like it's an alternative to smoking or something, I'm not sure, but whenever I catch myself doing it, it is so out of the ordinary and just all of a sudden I want to look at porn and masturbate, and then afterwards, I feel so horrible and so far away from God. :(

Exercise the "will" God gave you to resist. Its hard and its work but it gets easier as you exercise resistance

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 02:16 AM
I guess that's probably the best thing to do...

Slug1
May 13th 2008, 02:38 AM
JordanW, I moved all the posts dealing with your problem to it's own thread. This way the OP of the other thread can be ministered to in his thread and you in your's.

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 03:27 AM
Thanks Slug, I was actually going to make a thread, but I just thought we would keep it all in one thread, but this is a better idea, thanks!

HisLeast
May 13th 2008, 03:48 AM
I've had this problem for like the last week, and it's killing me.:( It just seems like it's an alternative to smoking or something, I'm not sure, but whenever I catch myself doing it, it is so out of the ordinary and just all of a sudden I want to look at porn and masturbate, and then afterwards, I feel so horrible and so far away from God. :(

Bolded text is definitely something to explore. The first therapist I saw in relation to my porn addiction drove it home for me: something inside of you is using the porn compulsion for a reason, while the right thing is "to just stop", if you stop without understanding the compulsive driver you could just be plugging a vent hole that will burst elsewhere. So it could be that stopping the smoking cold turkey aggravated this compulsion.

Just so I'm clear, I'm in no way advocating continuing the activity. What I'm suggesting is get used to asking yourself some hard to answer questions. When you feel the next urge come on, take a second to think about why you're there. What emotions are you feeling? What were you thinking about before you got your mind on sex? What are your motivations?

Make any sense?

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 04:38 AM
Yeah I really understand where you're coming from, thanks for the insight. :)

Slug1
May 13th 2008, 11:19 AM
Yeah I really understand where you're coming from, thanks for the insight. :)Jordan, what are you doing these days to fill yourself with Jesus Christ? List everything you do for God, or what God leads you to do in a one week period, start with Sunday...

TexasBeliever
May 13th 2008, 01:29 PM
A very practical way to help yourself is to replace a bad habit with a good one. Something artisic like singing, painting, sculpting, knitting, anything constructive and creative.
Or something constructive for your body like weight lifting, biking or skating etc.
Take up something good, that you enjoy and run to it everytime you get the urge to indulge in a bad habit. :D

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 05:36 PM
A very practical way to help yourself is to replace a bad habit with a good one. Something artisic like singing, painting, sculpting, knitting, anything constructive and creative.
Or something constructive for your body like weight lifting, biking or skating etc.
Take up something good, that you enjoy and run to it everytime you get the urge to indulge in a bad habit. :D
That sounds like a good idea, thanks! :D

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 05:37 PM
Jordan, what are you doing these days to fill yourself with Jesus Christ? List everything you do for God, or what God leads you to do in a one week period, start with Sunday...Well lately since I've been feeling guilty about it, nothing really... I read my Bible, and read Christian book, but I'm not totally getting connected with God how I would like to.

Slug1
May 13th 2008, 05:47 PM
Well lately since I've been feeling guilty about it, nothing really... I read my Bible, and read Christian book, but I'm not totally getting connected with God how I would like to.
Matthew 12

43"When an evil[a (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=12&verse=43&end_verse=45&version=31&context=context#fen-NIV-23533a)] spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation."

I asked my question because many people that begin to have the problems you are experiencing fall within the meaning of this scripture. What have you done to fill yourself? The house is "you" and unless you fill the house with Christ you will be reoccupied by these spirits that will tempt you... that is what the meaning is, they find you open to temptation cause you haven't filled yourself to the capacity that God may enable you to be filled... add church, add fellowship with Christians, add participation with ministries at church, add listening to only Christian music, add watching only Christian programming etc.

Then the house (you) will be filled and these spirits cannot find a place to occupy and tempt you.

JordanW
May 13th 2008, 05:56 PM
Well I've been only listening to Christian music, and I don't watch too much TV, it was just the sinning that was separating me from God.

Drums4Him
Jun 11th 2008, 04:48 AM
Jordan, I had to go to extreme measures, I had someone come in my house and put the parental controls on my cable TV system, blocking me from accessing adult movies, and I downloaded accountibility software on my computer with the pastor of my church as an accountability partner. For me, if I know I can't get to the porn, then it doesn't bother me at all. Well, this worked for me...(so far).

God Bless...

JordanW
Jun 11th 2008, 06:25 AM
Jordan, I had to go to extreme measures, I had someone come in my house and put the parental controls on my cable TV system, blocking me from accessing adult movies, and I downloaded accountibility software on my computer with the pastor of my church as an accountability partner. For me, if I know I can't get to the porn, then it doesn't bother me at all. Well, this worked for me...(so far).

God Bless...God bless you, and thank you for responding to me. :) I don't really have a problem with stuff on T.V. it's more with the stuff on the computer. Is there anywhere where I can download stuff like this? God bless.

Mr King
Jun 12th 2008, 09:28 PM
Well lately since I've been feeling guilty about it, nothing really... I read my Bible, and read Christian book, but I'm not totally getting connected with God how I would like to.

Hello JordanW!

I can see what you are saying. You want this connection with God. Remember, lust is what you want and love is what you give. Having a relationship with God isn't about Him doing the giving while you are doing the recieving. It's both! If you want a relationship with God and for Him to have a relationship with you then you have to give Him something first. Do you know what that is? The answer is...YOU! You are to totally surrender yourself to God; your heart, mind, soul and body. Allow Him to come into you, work in you, heal you, clean you, transform you, guide you, provide you with insight and provide you with overflowing blessings so you can live your life doing God's Will.

Long ago, I knew of this man who was very poor and owned very little. He owned or rented this poor run down shop selling used stuff. Stuff that were cheap and inexpensive. So I did some business with him a couple of times.

Well after looking around, I went home and grabbed one of my plastic containers and filled it up with lots and lots of things that I didn't need. Then I went back to give him the container and told him to sell this stuff to make himself some money. He was so happy and thankful that he wanted to give me something in return.

At first, I didn't want him to give me anything since he had owned so little till I realized how selfish I was. For what little this man owned and as poor as he was, he was thankful enough to want to give me something in return. Bless his heart for that!

So I looked around and found this nice looking painting for sale on the wall. A painting of a forest with a river flowing by, mountains in the distance and a orange sky. I took it and thanked the man then left.

That is a sign of a true friendship for we both gave to each other and we both recieved from each other.

Mr King
Jun 12th 2008, 09:52 PM
Jordan, I had to go to extreme measures, I had someone come in my house and put the parental controls on my cable TV system, blocking me from accessing adult movies, and I downloaded accountibility software on my computer with the pastor of my church as an accountability partner. For me, if I know I can't get to the porn, then it doesn't bother me at all. Well, this worked for me...(so far).

God Bless...

Well, don't you think this is a sign of lack of faith? I know it's great to get rid of the filthy porn from your home but don't you think God would be much more happier if you did have access to all this but choose to ignore them by using your freewill to be obedient to God? By disabling all this, you're not using your freewill to be loyal and obedient to God on these issues. True love is done through freewill.

HisLeast
Jun 18th 2008, 07:45 PM
Well, don't you think this is a sign of lack of faith? I know it's great to get rid of the filthy porn from your home but don't you think God would be much more happier if you did have access to all this but choose to ignore them by using your freewill to be obedient to God? By disabling all this, you're not using your freewill to be loyal and obedient to God on these issues. True love is done through freewill.

And then of course there's that whole bit about cutting off your right hand if it causes you to sin....

Our brother is seperating himself from temptation. Is that not freewill enough? In my mind God wants you to not sin. I don't know if he cares how available the temptation is to you. So how about we put away the measuring tape of faith and give him a solid pat on the back for distincing himself from his stumbling block.

We wouldn't ask an alcoholic to carry around a hip-flask to prove his faith. Why make our brother's struggle that much more difficult?

Mr King
Jun 19th 2008, 06:10 PM
And then of course there's that whole bit about cutting off your right hand if it causes you to sin....

Our brother is seperating himself from temptation. Is that not freewill enough? In my mind God wants you to not sin. I don't know if he cares how available the temptation is to you. So how about we put away the measuring tape of faith and give him a solid pat on the back for distincing himself from his stumbling block.

We wouldn't ask an alcoholic to carry around a hip-flask to prove his faith. Why make our brother's struggle that much more difficult?

I am very sorry for what I said and it was wrong.

Midyrvette, please accept my apologies for my comment. I am very sorry. That was a wonderful thing with what you did and that was wrong for me to say what I said.

Reynolds357
Jun 19th 2008, 07:23 PM
God bless you, and thank you for responding to me. :) I don't really have a problem with stuff on T.V. it's more with the stuff on the computer. Is there anywhere where I can download stuff like this? God bless.

You must exert self control. There will always be a source where you can obtain porn. You can not eliminate the porn, you must deal with the problem that causes you to want to look at porn. The Flesh is subservient to the Spirit. Porn is a spiritual issue. Deal with it in the spiritual realm and make sure your spirit exercises its dominion over your flesh.

Sold Out
Jun 19th 2008, 08:47 PM
Buy the book 'Every Young Man's Battle' by Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn.

I thought I posted this already, but had some computer problems earlier.

In any case, it's a wonderful book written by Christian men who have also struggled with the same thing you struggle with - that I suspect many young men struggle with. This book will give you the tools to achieve purity in your mind & body. In fact, I would recommend that ALL the men that are reading my reply go out and get this book.

I'm the mother of an 18 yr old son and this was required reading for him to enter into a ministry intern program. I read it myself and my eyes were completely opened. I truly feel that many generations of fathers have failed (due to ignorance of course) because they didn't pass down biblical values to their sons in regards to their sexuality.

Marvin
Jun 19th 2008, 11:26 PM
Don't feel condemned Jordan! Remember condemnation comes from the devil. If you feel as though you're a lousy Christian, that's not God. God gently convicts.

I wish I had some advice to offer, but lust is something all men struggle with. We were born that way. But I just want to encourage you. Don't settle for condemnation. Rebuke it.

Drums4Him
Jun 23rd 2008, 12:57 AM
God bless you, and thank you for responding to me. :) I don't really have a problem with stuff on T.V. it's more with the stuff on the computer. Is there anywhere where I can download stuff like this? God bless.

Jordan, I use X3Watch, a free accountability software I downloaded from the net. It works, my accountability partner gets a report every two weeks. It can be downloaded for PC and MAC users. And there are others that you can buy and download from the internet. Here is the link to the one I use:

http://x3watch.com/

Or there are others you can look into that you can buy, whatever suits you. There are some other accountability software and filters on that same page. I know there are others with suggestions about which ones worked for them also. God Bless, Jordan, and lets all stand together on this problem...

Mike

Partaker of Christ
Jun 25th 2008, 08:00 PM
God bless you, and thank you for responding to me. :) I don't really have a problem with stuff on T.V. it's more with the stuff on the computer. Is there anywhere where I can download stuff like this? God bless.

Hi JordanW!

A couple of simple things you can do that may help.

On your PC you have desktop wall paper. You could find or design yourself a picture or special verse that speaks of Christ, laying down His life to set us free, or whatever else helps. "If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed"

You could also have a particular 'homepage' web page, when you open up your browser.

Here is one that you might like:
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Marvaline/GodsReflection/HowGreatThouArt/index.html

Perhaps there is space on the outside edge of your monitor, to attach a scripture or two "Resist the devil and he will flee" or "bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"

Mr King
Jun 26th 2008, 03:29 PM
Buy the book 'Every Young Man's Battle' by Fred Stoeker and Steve Arterburn.


Thank you for the recommendation. I'll need to check this book out. One of my books for men is: Disciplines Of A Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes. I think he also did one for women too.