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poochie
Aug 29th 2008, 10:41 AM
Since joining and living in a Fundamentalist part of the country I can say that I have had more difficulty relating with women in the 1 year I have been at this university than during my 25 years in Evangelical churches and schools (got saved when I was five).

It seems that they have some special formula that I have not yet figured out. I think one of my problems is that I am very open and I want to be real with others and outgoing (thats the way I was taught back at the Evangelical University where I earned my BA) but I have noticed that most of the Fundamentalists do not say hello to others, nor communicate with anyone or those they do not know. Me greeting people and trying to be friends and minister to those I do not know may be considered odd by their mindset.

The issue I have with the women is that I believe their mindset is that there is no middle ground. They cant be friends with males. Its either a dating relationship or nothing at all.

Back during my undergraduate days I had a TON of female friends, but Fundamentalists would consider me a playboy.

I have emailed and tried to ask for advice and be friends with some women, but so many of them have told me not to contact them as a result. They may believe that if a guy were to email them (just as a friend) then he must want to date them.

I apologized to one girl about my actions but she got all bent out of shape because I had contacted her and disobeyed her authority. Many times had this girl treated me like a 2 year old or rattled me in front of others because I was not as perfect as she was (ie I spoke to others as they walked by our dinner table, spoke on my cell phone at the table,etc..).

She never once was convicted about her actions, but she sure knew how to rat and berate me.

So I take it that apologizing to these people may be a bad idea.

I read the Bible and I think its very clear, but I think that a man and women can be friends and not be in a dating relationship. A woman can give a man advice about social issues and can encourage a man.

I'm a conservative and have expressed my views before but I believe that these type may take things to the extreme and teach that women have to be submissive to all men and not just their husbands/boyfriends.

So what do you say? I am trying to figfure out the formula on success. I've been on many dates during my Evangelical days and had some girl friends. So I can relate with women. But the Fundamentalists have a different way of thinking and I have not yet figured out the formula. Thanks.

Bethany67
Aug 29th 2008, 11:35 AM
Poochie - I gotta ask; why are you in a fundamentalist community when you seem so unhappy there?

Sold Out
Aug 29th 2008, 02:42 PM
So what do you say? I am trying to figfure out the formula on success. I've been on many dates during my Evangelical days and had some girl friends. So I can relate with women. But the Fundamentalists have a different way of thinking and I have not yet figured out the formula. Thanks.

Are you married? or looking for a mate?

mcgyver
Aug 29th 2008, 03:37 PM
Are you talking about Fundamentalists or Pharisee's? Can't see much of a difference in these folks from what you're saying....:P

Emanate
Aug 29th 2008, 06:33 PM
Are you talking about Fundamentalists or Pharisee's? Can't see much of a difference in these folks from what you're saying....:P


ding, ding. we have a winner

graceforme
Aug 29th 2008, 07:38 PM
I agree with the replies you have received. And I will add one thing - if I go out to dinner with a "friend", and they sit there talking on their cell phone , which is very rude (unless it is a life-and-death emergency), I probably would get up and walk out. That "friend" would have to find someone else to go out with. A person who would be so rude should be treated like a 2-year old, since they are acting like one.

I'm not trying to be nasty, but you're coming across as though the woman was the only one who was at fault. She might have come across the wrong way, and probably could have been kinder, but I certainly understand her problem with talking to other people and talking on your cell phone while at dinner.

BTW, I had a friend who was a Fundamental Baptist. She believed that the only folks going to heaven were the Fundamentalists. Don't know if this is true of them all, but it sure was the case with her church.

God Bless.

poochie
Aug 29th 2008, 09:11 PM
No one said I was 100% unhappy or happy. I am happy in some areas and unhappy in others.

the reason I am here.

Full tuition schbolarship.


Poochie - I gotta ask; why are you in a fundamentalist community when you seem so unhappy there?

poochie
Aug 29th 2008, 09:12 PM
A person who would be so rude should be treated like a 2-year old, since they are acting like one.



I dont think I should be fully treated like a 2 year old or else I'd be in depends. :)

Thats a joke but there are plenty of DD people my age that wear them all the time and gals their own age and younger take care of them.

keck553
Aug 29th 2008, 09:55 PM
I think a first step would be to not stereotype people. They are individuals wiith the same human desires and temptations, you have, but they are not robots with some formula to drive you crazy. Perhaps the are reacting as you expect them to? Just an observation, I don't know if it's valid or not in your case.

many blessings