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freshsm
Sep 13th 2008, 08:32 AM
This is a message that I guess has really been a long time coming. I know none of you yet I am about to pour out everything to you. I ask for guidance and help in my situation. So it has become increasingly aware to me that my relationships with people really have nothing to do with god. Am I a christian yes...... A strong christian......hmmm not so much....... I know there is a god not a doubt in my mind and I know he died for me and I know he is above watching everything I do.... Yet I realize that I have grown none since I was a kid... 21 years of age now. If anything I have gone backwards in my walk not by a means of if I believe but in the way of growing. I have no idea when I am going to die... Could be today tommorow next week next year who knows. All I know is that right now in my life if you all just saw video clips of it I doubt you would all assume I am a christian. What I would consider a rather large problem. I go to church every sunday and yes I get something out of it but it doesnt push me through the week. I have been turned off I guess you would say for alot of reasons but mainly do to what I see as a lot of "fakeness" in christianity today. I see so many people talk about god changing in there life and doing this and that as a tool to impress other christians. One of those people being my best friend. I have also been turned off by a growing number of people who seem to think the world is a bubble and will not associate with anyone who does not go by there defined moral values. To me it seems you need to relate to somebody to reach out to them otherwise nobody is going to want to hear it. I would like to hear yalls thoughts on the following. I drink.... not very often I would say once a month... I do get to the point where I feel good but I always stay at a place and never go anywhere and I never get to the point where I do not remeber what I am doing nor do I get to the point where I am acting out of character. I do not suddenly cuss like a sailor or have sex like crazy I just laugh more then usual and that is all. So my question is do you guys think I am sinning. I have been condemed by some friends for this action and some I have lost there friendship. One reason I have been turned off. Also I have slept in the same bed with my gf... I have no intentions of having sex before I am married and I am not going to but do you guys think this is an immoral action. I also get turned off by people who take bible versus and take them to the extreme. Any bible verse can be flipped by someone to make it say something..... I just dont know where to go. I want to be closer to god and to my friends through god yet I have become bitter towards people and assume they are not real... Any advice would be great...

graceforme
Sep 13th 2008, 10:45 AM
This is a message that I guess has really been a long time coming. I know none of you yet I am about to pour out everything to you. I ask for guidance and help in my situation. So it has become increasingly aware to me that my relationships with people really have nothing to do with god. Am I a christian yes...... A strong christian......hmmm not so much....... I know there is a god not a doubt in my mind and I know he died for me and I know he is above watching everything I do.... Yet I realize that I have grown none since I was a kid... 21 years of age now. If anything I have gone backwards in my walk not by a means of if I believe but in the way of growing. I have no idea when I am going to die... Could be today tommorow next week next year who knows. All I know is that right now in my life if you all just saw video clips of it I doubt you would all assume I am a christian. What I would consider a rather large problem. I go to church every sunday and yes I get something out of it but it doesnt push me through the week. I have been turned off I guess you would say for alot of reasons but mainly do to what I see as a lot of "fakeness" in christianity today. I see so many people talk about god changing in there life and doing this and that as a tool to impress other christians. One of those people being my best friend. I have also been turned off by a growing number of people who seem to think the world is a bubble and will not associate with anyone who does not go by there defined moral values. To me it seems you need to relate to somebody to reach out to them otherwise nobody is going to want to hear it. I would like to hear yalls thoughts on the following. I drink.... not very often I would say once a month... I do get to the point where I feel good but I always stay at a place and never go anywhere and I never get to the point where I do not remeber what I am doing nor do I get to the point where I am acting out of character. I do not suddenly cuss like a sailor or have sex like crazy I just laugh more then usual and that is all. So my question is do you guys think I am sinning. I have been condemed by some friends for this action and some I have lost there friendship. One reason I have been turned off. Also I have slept in the same bed with my gf... I have no intentions of having sex before I am married and I am not going to but do you guys think this is an immoral action. I also get turned off by people who take bible versus and take them to the extreme. Any bible verse can be flipped by someone to make it say something..... I just dont know where to go. I want to be closer to god and to my friends through god yet I have become bitter towards people and assume they are not real... Any advice would be great...


You say you are a Christian, yet I wonder on what you base that statement. Have you accepted Christ into your life and trusted Him as your Savior? Just knowing there is a god and believing that he exists does not mean you are saved at all. Scripture says that even the demons know there is a god, and they tremble. (James 2:19) Your first step is to make sure that you are actually saved, not basing your salvation on "knowing that there is a god."

When I hear people say that there is a lot of "fakeness" in Christianity, I find that the person is usually just making up excuses for their own behavior. Yes, there is "fakeness" in Christianity, but we are not responsible for the attitude and behavior of others. We are, however, responsible for our own attitude and behavior. It's very easy to become complacent about our own behavior and try to put the blame on the actions of others, but we have to answer for our own actions.

I can't blame your friends for not wanting to be around you when you drink. If they are Christians, they know that this behavior is not a very good witness of Christ to others and they don't want anyone to think that they are acting the same as you or condoning your behavior. Just because you don't cuss or have sex like crazy doesn't mean that it's okay to get drunk. As far as being in the same bed with your girlfriend, you are treading on thin ice. I'm not saying that this is immoral, but you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable situation that will eventually lead to sexual activity, which is immoral, since you are unmarried.

Have you talked to your pastor about these things? If you have a youth or college-age pastor, maybe he would be a better choice. I don't want to be insulting, but it seems to me that, as a Christian you are very immature, and need good spiritual guidance.

I'm not going to throw Bible verses at you. If you go to church every Sunday, then you certainly know the difference between right and wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked for help. It's time to stand up and take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming other people for your own attitude.

Please, seek professional help - either a pastor or Christian counselor. If you continue on the path you are traveling, I'm fearful that you will end up away from the Lord completely. I will be lifting you up in prayer.

God Bless

freshsm
Sep 13th 2008, 05:12 PM
Yes I have accepted Christ as my savior. It is not a question of if I am a christian I know that just knowing who god is does not make you a christian. That being said I am not using the fakeness to justify my behavior..... I am saying that I think it is a problem and can be frustrating. I mean there is really no way to make that an excuse for my behavior I am just saying it gets old when I see it is all.... What annoys me as if my friends will not hang with me becuase I drink in general. Not just when I am drinking.... I think it kinda ridiculous alot of people see drinking as ok and alot of people see it as a sin but I dont think its right to not hangout with somebody at all just becuase they drink on occasion. I mean there are stories to both side about drinking and I have read alot about them. I feel like it is a hard line to define. You may have not ment it the way it sounded but your message seemed more like an attack then really helpful. I am looking for guidance not telling me I am an immature christian......

ServantofTruth
Sep 13th 2008, 07:07 PM
I can reply with 20 bible verses and perhaps you will think i'm an 'over the top' christian, or i can reply with none and go for the draw and all pleasantness and love - but not do my duty as a brother.

Quick points - you should never be in the same bed as your girl friend.

The drinking alcohol is fine, as long as you are not getting drunk. However listen to how when you drink affects others. If your friends don't like being with you at that point, don't go so far. A couple perhaps? It may be fine for you, but what about strangers, especially non christians who know you. We must put others first. Take a look at Romans chapter 15: verses 1-6.

The funny thing is i'm searching through Paul's letters for brief 'sound bites' to help you, and it's you who needs to read them in full not me. The churches are a mess? Many christians aren't christians/ don't show fruits?

It's like you have the frame work of faith, the edge of the jigsaw is done, but you need to grow and know more. Well you have God's book to teach you and the Holy Spirit to guide that bible reading and help you daily in life.

From this topic i really do recommend you start at the book of Romans and read through all the letters (not just Paul's) till you get to Revelation. So many of your answers are there. And Don't just read it. Act in accordance with each bit you read of God's Will/ Wisdom.

You are aware that salvation isn't hearing the Good News/ gospel - it is personally responding to it.

Now be equally aware bible reading is not just reading - it is personally puting it into action in your daily life.

1 John 2:6 If we say we are his, we must follow the example of Christ. Please also look at verses 3,4 & 5.

Dare i say - think - if Jesus was physically standing beside me - Would i do it? SofTy. :hug:

graceforme
Sep 13th 2008, 10:00 PM
Yes I have accepted Christ as my savior. It is not a question of if I am a christian I know that just knowing who god is does not make you a christian. That being said I am not using the fakeness to justify my behavior..... I am saying that I think it is a problem and can be frustrating. I mean there is really no way to make that an excuse for my behavior I am just saying it gets old when I see it is all.... What annoys me as if my friends will not hang with me becuase I drink in general. Not just when I am drinking.... I think it kinda ridiculous alot of people see drinking as ok and alot of people see it as a sin but I dont think its right to not hangout with somebody at all just becuase they drink on occasion. I mean there are stories to both side about drinking and I have read alot about them. I feel like it is a hard line to define. You may have not ment it the way it sounded but your message seemed more like an attack then really helpful. I am looking for guidance not telling me I am an immature christian......


I'm sorry that you took offense at my post, and I didn't mean to "attack", but there are times when the truth is all that will do - Did you want sympathy or pity? We have to face where we are in our walk and then take action to make it better. No one can do it FOR you - it's up to you.

Nobody can do this for you - it is your responsibility. Just as it was mine when I was in the same position as you. It took someone who was willing to make me face my own responsibility to make me realize that it wasn't the other people who were causing my problems, it was ME, and me alone. And I had to admit that other people don't want to be around someone who was like me - I was pretty much of a "downer" and not very encouraging to others. And I doubt very much if you are, either.

God can only work in our lives if and when we allow him to. If we are determined to go our own way, He'll let us do just that. In your post, you said that your behavior gets old - then do something about it.

I remember someone saying to me, "I can feel sorry for you if you have a headache, but it's your headache and you'd better do something about it!" They were trying to tell me that I was the only one who could allow God to do what He wanted to do in my life. And those words are so true.

My original advice still stands - seek professional help from a Christian counselor or pastor. Study Scripture to find the truth and pray like you've never prayed before. When you feel like drinking, PRAY. When you start to feel like others are turning their backs on you, PRAY. When you feel like crawling in bed with your girlfriend, PRAY. Seek God and allow Him to work in your life.

God desires to help us with the issues in our lives, but He can only do that if we allow Him access to our hearts. Being a Christian is not a passive lifestyle - it is a very active one and we have to make an active decision each day to put off our flesh and follow Christ.

Many blessings to you.

ilovemetal
Sep 14th 2008, 07:56 AM
This is a message that I guess has really been a long time coming. I know none of you yet I am about to pour out everything to you. I ask for guidance and help in my situation. So it has become increasingly aware to me that my relationships with people really have nothing to do with god. Am I a christian yes...... A strong christian......hmmm not so much....... I know there is a god not a doubt in my mind and I know he died for me and I know he is above watching everything I do.... Yet I realize that I have grown none since I was a kid... 21 years of age now. If anything I have gone backwards in my walk not by a means of if I believe but in the way of growing. I have no idea when I am going to die... Could be today tommorow next week next year who knows. All I know is that right now in my life if you all just saw video clips of it I doubt you would all assume I am a christian. What I would consider a rather large problem. I go to church every sunday and yes I get something out of it but it doesnt push me through the week. I have been turned off I guess you would say for alot of reasons but mainly do to what I see as a lot of "fakeness" in christianity today. I see so many people talk about god changing in there life and doing this and that as a tool to impress other christians. One of those people being my best friend. I have also been turned off by a growing number of people who seem to think the world is a bubble and will not associate with anyone who does not go by there defined moral values. To me it seems you need to relate to somebody to reach out to them otherwise nobody is going to want to hear it. I would like to hear yalls thoughts on the following. I drink.... not very often I would say once a month... I do get to the point where I feel good but I always stay at a place and never go anywhere and I never get to the point where I do not remeber what I am doing nor do I get to the point where I am acting out of character. I do not suddenly cuss like a sailor or have sex like crazy I just laugh more then usual and that is all. So my question is do you guys think I am sinning. I have been condemed by some friends for this action and some I have lost there friendship. One reason I have been turned off. Also I have slept in the same bed with my gf... I have no intentions of having sex before I am married and I am not going to but do you guys think this is an immoral action. I also get turned off by people who take bible versus and take them to the extreme. Any bible verse can be flipped by someone to make it say something..... I just dont know where to go. I want to be closer to god and to my friends through god yet I have become bitter towards people and assume they are not real... Any advice would be great...

i kinda asked the same thing once. i said, i don't know if i believe ENOUGH. like you i also knew what christianity taught, but wasn't aware of what it MEANT. i've read the other posts, and they seem harsh, but i'd say spot on.

for me, it took the same sort of thing to get me out of my own 'world'. i had to stop sinning (porn for me) and actually get a relationship with Jesus. that's the clincher. i didn't read the bible, i din't crave it. i didn't pray, cuz it makes no difference right? but like any relationship you need communication, and God's way of communicating is the bible, and prayer, and other stuff.

so i'd say, (from what i gathered form the post) you need to take a step back and look at your life. are you living for yourself, or for God. are you living in sin or not. and i mean more natural sins then spiritual. the difference being the natural ones (the fleshly desires) we can stop, and with Jesus's help we can stop. it took me long time to realize this. sure we all still sin, guy, come on, we're all brutal, but God can change us. you sound like you need to be changed, but you need to let God change you.

i'd vote, 100% stop drinking, stop doing anything negitive, (and like has been said, if Jesus were beside you would he be stolked on it?) stop satanic black metal, rated R movies, anything that's drawing you away from God. then begin to read the bible (like has been said romans is good, and 1 john i like alot) begin to pray more. the bible says seek and ye shall find. i seeks for months, (i was in maybe close to the same sitch as you) and finally i saw the light. and it ruled. straight up.

unless of course, drinking is that important to you. but we, as christians need to have God above all else in our lives. ask Him to change you.

so i don't also mean to be harsh, or extreme, but it's kinda manditory for us to grow. i don't stand for that watered down garbage that says we can do what we want, long as we believe. that doesn't work. the bible says it doesn't.

1 John 2:
3We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5But if anyone obeys his word, God's love[b] is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

we either live for God or not. no middle ground.
praying for you bud.
kev.

petepet
Sep 23rd 2008, 04:05 PM
Yet I realize that I have grown none since I was a kid... 21 years of age now. If anything I have gone backwards in my walk not by a means of if I believe but in the way of growing. I have no idea when I am going to die... Could be today tommorow next week next year who knows. All I know is that right now in my life if you all just saw video clips of it I doubt you would all assume I am a christian.

Hi, well here is your first problem. On your own admission video clips of your present life would make others think that you were not a Christian. So if you are genuine the first thing that you have to do is get rid of those things in your life that would give us what you see as the wrong impression.

What I would consider a rather large problem. I go to church every sunday and yes I get something out of it but it doesnt push me through the week.

Is that because you do not start each day by reading the Bible and praying, and asking Jesus Christ to live through you that day?

I have been turned off I guess you would say for alot of reasons but mainly do to what I see as a lot of "fakeness" in christianity today. I see so many people talk about god changing in there life and doing this and that as a tool to impress other christians. One of those people being my best friend.

I wonder how many people look at your life and say. 'he's a fake'. Your first step is to stop being a fake yourself. The you won't spend so much time looking at others, because you will be looking at the Lord.

I have also been turned off by a growing number of people who seem to think the world is a bubble and will not associate with anyone who does not go by there defined moral values. To me it seems you need to relate to somebody to reach out to them otherwise nobody is going to want to hear it. I would like to hear yalls thoughts on the following. I drink.... not very often I would say once a month... I do get to the point where I feel good but I always stay at a place and never go anywhere and I never get to the point where I do not remeber what I am doing nor do I get to the point where I am acting out of character. I do not suddenly cuss like a sailor or have sex like crazy I just laugh more then usual and that is all. So my question is do you guys think I am sinning. I have been condemed by some friends for this action and some I have lost there friendship. One reason I have been turned off.

But if your friends did not want to associate with you because of the way you live did they not have the right to do so?. Perhaps they genuinely do not want to be associated with the way you live because they see it as a bad witness. If you want their friendship perhaps you should fall in line with their wishes? If you want friendship you must make yourself pleasing to those whose friendship you want. No one has any right to say, 'they must accept me as I am'. If they say that they must not grumble at not being accepted.

Also I have slept in the same bed with my gf... I have no intentions of having sex before I am married and I am not going to but do you guys think this is an immoral action.

Not a good idea if you want to remain pure. I could not do it and remain pure, I know that.

I also get turned off by people who take bible versus and take them to the extreme. Any bible verse can be flipped by someone to make it say something.....

But do you do the same the other way round? We are all good at dodging the truth in Bible verses because they sometimes hurt.

I just dont know where to go. I want to be closer to god and to my friends through god yet I have become bitter towards people and assume they are not real... Any advice would be great...

Where you need to go is to Jesus Christ and recognise that you live in a world of sinners, but that Jesus Christ wants to live through you so that you do not sin so easily. Then you can become a good example and help to others. Christians are still sinners, even though the genuine ones are seeking to become better. But they often have similar problems to you. They too are fighting their sins. What a difference it would make if they saw Christ in you (Galatians 2.20).

At present you give the appearance of justifying yourself and blaming others. (I do realise, however, that you are trying to be straight with us, and commend you for it). What you must do is blame yourself because you are not being fully straight with Jesus Christ and excuse others, recognising that they too may be having a battle. You will not find anything in Jesus Christ that you can blame.

Forget the world. Forget the failures of others. Come to the Lord Jesus Christ Who said, 'Come to me all you who struggle and are heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you (walk along with Me) and learn of Me and you will find rest to your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light' (Matthew 11.28-29).

Then die to yourself and commit your life wholly to Him and ask Him to begin to live His life through you daily. You will need to renew it each day.