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View Full Version : These morals of mine



Kelly12345
Sep 15th 2008, 10:54 PM
Well, of course I am a Christian and there is something that bugs me a bit everday. I have strong morals and I want to wait until marriage until I have sex. I am afraid I may never find someone who will respect this about me. And it scares me that if I ever find someone I like they may leave me when they find out about how I want to save myself until I am married.

Any advice or encouragement?

Thanks!
Kelly

Ayala
Sep 15th 2008, 10:57 PM
If a guy is willing to leave you over the fact that you want to save yourself for marriage, then he's not worth your time to begin with.

CoffeeCat
Sep 15th 2008, 11:31 PM
Kelly, Jeremy's right on the money. The ONLY kind of guy you want to be with is one who DOES respect your choice to wait until marriage. It's the best choice you could possibly make.... and a sensible guy's going to respect that about you. Don't bother giving guys the time of day if they'd try to convince you to disrespect yourself and go back on your convictions. Those convictions of yours are too important. :)

There are a LOT of single, Christian guys who are ALSO waiting until marriage. And like you, they're wondering "is there someone out there who'll share these values and wait like me?" and the answer's yes.

Try googling the lyrics to "Wait for Me" by Rebecca St. James. It's a powerful song for any woman who's saving herself for marriage.

Kelly12345
Sep 15th 2008, 11:44 PM
Kelly, Jeremy's right on the money. The ONLY kind of guy you want to be with is one who DOES respect your choice to wait until marriage. It's the best choice you could possibly make.... and a sensible guy's going to respect that about you. Don't bother giving guys the time of day if they'd try to convince you to disrespect yourself and go back on your convictions. Those convictions of yours are too important. :)

There are a LOT of single, Christian guys who are ALSO waiting until marriage. And like you, they're wondering "is there someone out there who'll share these values and wait like me?" and the answer's yes.

Try googling the lyrics to "Wait for Me" by Rebecca St. James. It's a powerful song for any woman who's saving herself for marriage.

I have that song, "Wait For Me!" I love it!

Sometimes it just scares me. I often wonder if there are men out there between the ages of 19-25 that want to date girls that respect themselves. And I know the majority of girls my age will sleep with any guy that they can catch and have sex in any relationship they get.

I don't want to be that way & I'm not that way.

I wonder if deep down inside men do want to be with a girl with morals. Whenever I get my first boyfriend I want both of us to be able to focus on eachother emotionally and I think that will bond us together so strongly and then if we get married our first night together physically would just be lovely and breath-taking.

Ayala
Sep 15th 2008, 11:50 PM
I often wonder if there are men out there between the ages of 19-25 that want to date girls that respect themselves.

*raises hand* :P

They're out there, trust me.

RightCross
Sep 16th 2008, 02:57 AM
men out there between the ages of 19-25

They are out there, I'm one of them. Most people, aside from close friends, find it hard to believe at first too. It's fairly rare to be of this mindset I guess, especially in college.

Revinius
Sep 16th 2008, 03:11 AM
If he is a committed Christian he will automatically want to wait. If he isnt a Christian, you shouldnt be going out with him anyway.

Buzzword
Sep 16th 2008, 11:53 PM
If he is a committed Christian he will automatically want to wait. If he isnt a Christian, you shouldnt be going out with him anyway.

Way to generalize with that "automatically" thing.
Also, way to ignore the fire in the loins of the male half of the species from ages 13 to...whatever five years below your age is, Revinius.

There is no "automatic" reaction from guys when it comes to sex, aside from the "let's make a baby" reaction.
I assume you haven't forgotten that.

The Christian man will be the one who doesn't react AT ALL, until after weighing and examining his true feelings and motivations in the matter.

Kelly, if you find a guy who is willing to wait with you, awesome.

If you have to wait awhile, be encouraged by the joy to come, and the fact that the longer you have to wait, the more that joy will be magnified when God brings him into your life.

In any event, let love be your guiding force, not societal pressure OR peer pressure OR pressure from faceless online screen names.:D

SavedByGrace
Sep 17th 2008, 12:18 AM
Hi, Kelly.

I had the same concerns as you a few years ago. I didn't have any boyfriends in high school, and I was afraid it was because everyone knew I was a Christian with high standards (maybe it was, I don't know). I used to fear I would never find anyone who respected my standards, but then I met my husband just after my 21st birthday. When we met he asked me about the ring I wore, and when I told him it was my purity ring, he told me that while he didn't wear one, he had the same convictions. Oh did my heart rejoice!

I am praying for you to be encouraged and not be disheartened that you haven't found anyone who shares your convictions.

God will bless you for keeping yourself pure.

(PS. Even though I'm married, I hope it's ok to post here. I'm only 23. Not sure of the rules for this forum!

Revinius
Sep 17th 2008, 03:21 PM
Way to generalize with that "automatically" thing.
Also, way to ignore the fire in the loins of the male half of the species from ages 13 to...whatever five years below your age is, Revinius.

There is no "automatic" reaction from guys when it comes to sex, aside from the "let's make a baby" reaction.
I assume you haven't forgotten that.

The Christian man will be the one who doesn't react AT ALL, until after weighing and examining his true feelings and motivations in the matter.

Kelly, if you find a guy who is willing to wait with you, awesome.

If you have to wait awhile, be encouraged by the joy to come, and the fact that the longer you have to wait, the more that joy will be magnified when God brings him into your life.

In any event, let love be your guiding force, not societal pressure OR peer pressure OR pressure from faceless online screen names.:D

Generalisations are necessary. If he is biblical and loves Christ more than her then he will respect waiting all the more. I know many godly teenage men who would fit that mould.... This doesnt take into account hormones but as long as it is clarified that Christ is the centre of the relationship it should be solid.

Athanasius
Sep 17th 2008, 03:28 PM
If the guy you're with claims to be Christian but his theology finds you standing in front of him, naked, then I suggest you run and don't go back to him. A true™ Bible believing Christian man will say, 'No, we wait until marriage'. Anything else you'll want to be wary of.