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View Full Version : Need Advice: Question of love and Obedience to letting the weak be weakened.



Sesamechicken
Sep 27th 2008, 03:13 AM
I love my wife greatly in fact because of my issues I read " every man's battle " Repeatedly and I'm seeking counseling for my issues. I go to school and work and she works and pays bills and takes care of my daughter every other week-end for a few hours to all day. I really appreciate her and sometimes I question wheither I show it enough.
We are not intamate nor she spontanious at any level, which is ok but is there something wrong with what Im doing? Is there something I need to do ? I pray for us and her daily and the answers I get ... I ignore. I want to hear something positive for us and nothing bad. I question if the answers I get are from God or from the devil. This is a battle I need to win. I am not happy and I am weak. I love my wife and I am weak. I gave up so much for my daughter, my wife and God. I am weak. :cry:

*Hope*
Sep 27th 2008, 03:25 AM
I'm sorry, I don't understand your question. Are you saying that you and your wife are not physically intimate? Emotionally intimate? Are you separated? Sorry...I'm just a little confused. Can you explain?

AngelAuthor
Sep 27th 2008, 04:30 AM
I love my wife greatly in fact because of my issues I read " every man's battle " Repeatedly and I'm seeking counseling for my issues. I go to school and work and she works and pays bills and takes care of my daughter every other week-end for a few hours to all day. I really appreciate her and sometimes I question wheither I show it enough.
We are not intamate nor she spontanious at any level, which is ok but is there something wrong with what Im doing? Is there something I need to do ? I pray for us and her daily and the answers I get ... I ignore. I want to hear something positive for us and nothing bad. I question if the answers I get are from God or from the devil. This is a battle I need to win. I am not happy and I am weak. I love my wife and I am weak. I gave up so much for my daughter, my wife and God. I am weak. :cry:
I can relate, brother. Let me tell you that right after my wife and I got married the intimacy began a steep decline. It was something we would fight about somewhat regularly. I initiated EVERYTHING we ever did with less frequency because I got fed up with her attitude every time I tried to get close to her. Then, after six months or so, we would have a blowout and every time, I kid you not, she would act like it was the FIRST time. This was extremely frustrating for me. I once even suggested that I get myself a girlfriend...satisfy us both: I get my needs met and she gets left alone.

She wasn't particularly fond of that idea. :cool:

I prayed for her to change, I forced her to get checked by a doctor to see if her lack of libido was physical (no luck there), and we went on like that for years.

Where do we stand today, nearly 10 years into our marriage? Pretty much in the same place, I'm sorry to say. How I've handled it though, is at one point the Lord showed me that I was praying for the wrong thing. Rather than praying for my WIFE to open up (though I continue that), I prayed that the Lord would deal with my own desire. If my wife wasn't going to give me the level of intimacy I wanted, I prayed the Lord would REDUCE my need.

That hasn't quite happened to a serious enough degree, IMO, but it has helped somewhat.

Frances
Sep 27th 2008, 07:05 PM
If you are saying you are not physically intimate you are both missing a blessing the Lord wants you to have. Your wife may not be spontaneous yet because she needs to be gently aroused to enjoy physical intimacy. She may need to know, because of repeated experiences, that you are content to fondle her to give her pleasure without it necessarily leading to intercourse.