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WritingRose
Oct 1st 2008, 09:15 PM
Hello, everyone. I know what I've written in the subject line sounds really 'woe is me'; but it's true. My husband has been battling MRSA, a skin infection, and I've been doing everything I can to help him heal and to boost his immune system. I'm also afraid for my two children, and doing all I can to protect them. My son had an infection on the chin last summer, and started to get one again, but God knocked that out after I prayed for him out loud and applied some bactroban.

Anyway, I am tired of trying so hard to keep everything sterile all the time. I, too, have some health issues that make this task extra difficult. And no one is helping us. No one, except for my in laws donating some money when my husband lost work- I do thank God for them.

Our church isn't helping. The pastor even asked us to stay away until he heals.

To add to all of this, my brother died a couple of months ago, and I keep having these dreams where I'm trying so hard to save him, and I can't. I don't even know for sure that he had accepted Christ.

And then an old friend got in contact with me, only to smack me out of his life for the third time in twenty years.

My family is distant, my husband isn't healthy enough to handle my heartache, fear, or anything else. I feel like no one else really cares. I feel so alone, afraid of what will happen if my husband doesn't heal. I am in tears as I write this, and I know someone will get on here and try to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and all that. That won't help me, so keep that to yourself, OK?

I just need friends. I am so tired, so alone. begging God all the time for strength and to stop feeling so dependent on others. But I honestly do. No one has stretched their hand out to us, not even to me when I went through a severe bout of anxiety a couple of years ago... something that still acts up at times.

I am sorry if this sounds like a major pity party. I just really feel so hopeless and lost right now.

Thanks for reading.

-Jen

moonglow
Oct 1st 2008, 09:34 PM
I am so sorry you are feeling so down and abandoned by so many...you have a right to the way you are feeling. This shouldn't be how the church...or family and friends treats others...

I hurt for you just reading your post!

All I can offer is prayer (which I believe in the power of prayer) for healing for your husband...comfort, encouragement and endurance for you as you go through this trying time.

God loves you...I am I glad you are here...:hug:

God bless
Julie

ServantofTruth
Oct 1st 2008, 09:40 PM
I have at 2 times in my life felt so alone, i thought i would die that way. The first time i had no children, no wife, nothing. The second time i spent 3 years seperated from my wife and 3 children. No friends, at times no job. Real fear everywhere - weirdest thoughts very often.

Life is far from perfect today - my eldest 2 children are autistic. I have 5 sons in all. My wife is a non believer. My 5th son is soon to be diagnosed autistic. Need i go on, you get the picture......

BUT and this is huge - 10 years ago i sat alone reading a bible and God/ Jesus Christ entered my life. Problems haven't vanished and i've just had a couple of pretty bad 'spiritual' days.

I have problems with any church i go to and almost every Christian i meet! My wife a non believer knows the bible better than most of them!

Like you my problems with family illness will never just go away. At least one of my sons will need 24 hour care till he dies. That use to scare me, but now i take one day at a time.

In the short term the biggest thing i can do is say I love You and so does our Lord Jesus Christ. Try as hard as you can to find moments throughout the day to pray, read the Word of God/ the bible and praise/ worship our Lord for his kindness. The people you meet need YOU. Those who are lost are much worse off than me and you.

I have a friend who's husband may soon go to prison for a crime he didn't commit, because of the lies of people wanting to hurt him. In the middle of this stress and strain she's asking me to pray for a lady she met in a guest house they were staying in for the trial - because she shared the gospel and is hoping and praying this lady will come to Christ.

Lean on us and the Lord in prayer. Admit the strain and tiredness - but believe me You are not lost. You have come to your family in Christ, we are here for you. :hug::pray: Please keep in touch with me, on my profile if you like? Click on my name on any post then click on profile. SofTy.

WritingRose
Oct 1st 2008, 10:21 PM
Thank you, Moonglow & Servant for your replies. And yes, Servant, I see that you are also in a tight pinch.

As most of the world knows, the US economy is suffering, and that makes the situation here even more tense.

I will write more later... at the moment I am in a hurry, but I really do appreciate your quick replies. It helps more than you know.

-Jen

moonglow
Oct 1st 2008, 10:24 PM
Thank you, Moonglow & Servant for your replies. And yes, Servant, I see that you are also in a tight pinch.

As most of the world knows, the US economy is suffering, and that makes the situation here even more tense.

I will write more later... at the moment I am in a hurry, but I really do appreciate your quick replies. It helps more than you know.

-Jen

Thanks fine....no rush. Post when you can...


God bless

livingwaters
Oct 1st 2008, 11:05 PM
:pray::pray:ing for the instant healing of your husband, in Jesus' name...Jesus paid the price at Calvary for our healing, so "by HIS stripes, we are healed!!" The only thing that comes to mind to fight satan with is scripture..So, get that Bible out and go to concordance and look up and write down every healing scripture...Speak them aloud any time of the day or night you can...satan has to flee in Jesus' name.:pp:pp Play dvds/cds about the Bible or gospel songs....keep all surroundings full of "Jesus." Amen and Amen!!! We do serve an awesome God..:pray::pray:

One other thing the Bible tells us: do not rely on your own understanding...I've learned to put ALL of my trust and faith in HIM, not in any person!!!!!Alleluia...Yes, as Christians we need to do more. There is no doubt about that...but guess what, we can only know that our Lord and Savior is there for us and will never forsake us, no matter what. Fall into HIS embrace and strength and wisdom...Seek HIM, HE will draw near to you...Glory to God.

God Bless:hug:

IMINXTC
Oct 2nd 2008, 04:28 AM
In the meantime, Jen, we can keep you in special, daly prayer.

That MRSA has caused a great deal of trouble in so many lives, including those of some of my family members and friends also.

But we will pray that the Lord delivers you through this and gives you some rest.

Hopefully you'll keep us up to date?

militarywife
Oct 2nd 2008, 04:36 AM
:hug:
God is the great physician. I am praying for healing. The Bible clearly states that BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. Physically, emotionally, and more. I have faith in my God that HE will and can take this illness away. Praise God.
I pray also that you find comfort and friendship here on the board. May the Love of Christ that you find here blanket you with peace.
:hug:

Pastor Dennis
Oct 2nd 2008, 12:01 PM
I will write more later... at the moment I am in a hurry, but I really do appreciate your quick replies. It helps more than you know.

-JenJen... I can personally and in a most real way testify to the love, support and encouragement I recently received on this board as my wife and I went through her very dramatic and life-threatening health experience. It's kind of weird... such real Christian love found and extended over the internet. Seems like God is not fazed by modern technology but He USES it!

I have prayed for your needs. Now I'd encourage you to keep in touch with those who have extended their hands of friendship here... and lean on that and on the Lord God who will not forsake those who love Him.

ServantofTruth
Oct 2nd 2008, 03:43 PM
I just wanted to say 'hi' and hope we link up later.

May i share one scripture? Revelation 21:4

He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death, suffering, crying or pain. These things of the past are gone for ever.

You and i know how hard life can be, with illness a daily reality in our families. May we share this scripture, you and me, with friends too, and strengthen us all. God bless, SofTy. :hug:

sunsetssplendor
Oct 2nd 2008, 04:10 PM
Jen I'm so sorry you're in a difficult season. I remember when my spouse was sick (liver problems) and I was so burnt out and angry b/c it ALL fell on me. No one offered to cook us a meal or even take our kids to the park so I could clean up or just have a few moments to breathe. But I will say this, God heard my prayers and completely healed and restored him. He taught me to depend on HIM only during that difficult time b/c man failed me (US) miserably. I promised myself that if someone went through what I did I would not treat them the way we had been treated but would extend a Christian hand of help. I wish you were nearby so that I could do just that. Keep praying sister.

WritingRose
Oct 3rd 2008, 01:53 PM
Thank you all for replying. The fact that you are praying is very encouraging in itself.

I want to send some of you private messages, but I can't do it on this site until I've posted ten messages AND have been a member for a week. I think I"ve only got like three or four days in so far, so it will be another few days before I can send you all PM's.

I'll be in touch.

-Jen

ServantofTruth
Oct 3rd 2008, 04:05 PM
I hope today has been blessed. May i share another scripture today - for encouragement and strength. John chapter 17:20

I am not praying just for these followers. I am also praying for everyone else who will have faith because of what my followers will say about me.

Verse 21, talks of us followers being one with eachother as Jesus is with God. I feel that connection with you. In Christian love, SofTy. :hug:

Jude
Oct 3rd 2008, 06:13 PM
http://www.azstarnet.com/metro/248162.php


I brought this article to give you hope, when the doctors said my liver was at the point of no return I began using this herb. The dosage as prescribed by my Podiatrist was 1/4 teaspoon in a glass of juice every day, this in order to cleanse my immune system that had a build up of toxins from years of eating unhealthy foods and taking over the counter medications. I hope your husband does well and he is in my prayers. P.S. I haven't been sick in over 3 years.
Tucson Region UA researcher probes potential for plants' power in medicine By Tom Beal ARIZONA DAILY STAR Tucson, Arizona | Published: 07.14.2008 advertisement David Gang's laboratory and the kitchen he shares with his wife and six children contain some of the same ingredients. At the University of Arizona, where he is a professor in the Department of Plant Sciences, Gang grows turmeric and ginger plants in greenhouses on the roof of a parking garage on East Sixth Street. He raises basil plants in controlled chambers in the basement of the Bio5 Research Institute across campus. At home, Gang sprinkles turmeric on just about everything he cooks, even adds it to fruit smoothies. Turmeric, a staple of Indian cooking that gives curries their bright yellow color, doesn't flavor things all that much, he said. "The kids don't even notice it," he said. Ginger and basil also figure in their diet. They taste good, Gang said, and they are good for you. He knows ginger works. He's been chewing it for years since discovering that it eased an undiagnosable stomach ailment he developed during his graduate school years. "It had a dramatic effect," he said. "I went from being sick every day to being well most of the time." Gang said his recovery is part of the reason he decided to concentrate his research on learning how plants make the remarkable substances that modern scientists are just beginning to study for their healthful effects. Knowledge of the properties is not new, Gang said. "Ayurvedic practitioners in India have known about them for thousands of years." Gang and his group are trying to identify and uncover the distinct compounds that make them work. Turmeric is hot in natural healing circles, having been reidentified in recent years as a potent anti-inflammatory, with possible beneficial effects for everything from arthritis to Alzheimer's disease. Gang said medical researchers have identified regions in India with very low incidences of the two diseases. They happen to be regions in which turmeric is most widely used in food preparation. Scientists have isolated the main active ingredient in turmeric, curcumin, but Gang is also interested in two other compounds found in the rhizome of turmeric that have up to 100,000 times the anti-inflammatory potency of curcumin. It's one of the reasons Gang believes it's more beneficial to actually eat the spices than it is to take supplements of isolated compounds, he said. "I've always been more holistic when it comes to your health," he said. "You're better off using it as part of your diet than waiting till you get sick and taking a supplement," he said. The fruits of the research Gang conducts could be many and varied. Working at Bio5, said Gang, gives him the opportunity to interact with researchers in other fields who might be able to make use of what he discovers. One colleague is already looking to form a private company to develop pharmaceutical remedies from the compounds he isolates. The research could also lead to targeted breeding of new varieties of plants, Gang said. A chemist by training, he now combines biochemical analysis with genomics into a field called biochemical genomics. Studying aromatic plants such as sweet basil, ginger and turmeric seems fruitful, said Gang, because the substances that have anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory and even cancer-preventive properties are isolated in distinct sections of the plants, such as the rhizomes of ginger and turmeric. Someday, products made from the fruits of Gang's research may cure what ails you. In the meantime, Gang suggests you simply spice up your meals.

WritingRose
Oct 4th 2008, 07:05 AM
Jude, I do know that turmeric might help him, but he refuses to try it. I've done tons of research on things that might help him, but he will only let me do so much. It's very frustrating.

Right now, one of his wounds appears to be getting worse, and my heart sinking more and more. I just don't know what to do at this point, though I've read some things that might help. God, I just need strength. I tell Him this all time. Either way, I need strength- to help my husband and protect my family, and to let him go if it comes to that. I don't know what I'll do if something happens to him. I just don't know, and it's breaking my heart.

Jen

Jude
Oct 4th 2008, 08:09 AM
Jude, I do know that turmeric might help him, but he refuses to try it. I've done tons of research on things that might help him, but he will only let me do so much. It's very frustrating.

Right now, one of his wounds appears to be getting worse, and my heart sinking more and more. I just don't know what to do at this point, though I've read some things that might help. God, I just need strength. I tell Him this all time. Either way, I need strength- to help my husband and protect my family, and to let him go if it comes to that. I don't know what I'll do if something happens to him. I just don't know, and it's breaking my heart.

Jen

Does your husband have a personal relationship with Christ?

Jude

miepie
Oct 4th 2008, 09:00 AM
Hi Jen :hug:,

we are in a difficult situation too. I have RSD, a life-threatening disease that so far got me bedridden, in braces and severely handicapped. My husband is my main caretaker, he does everything from moving me in an elevator till feeding me and take care of my medicines. We do get some help but not much. We hardly go out and if we do it's only to a supermarket that we live on top of, and we try to limit that as much as possible, so we're basically shut-ins. It's easy to get this discouraged in this situation, and sometimes we are, but we try to hold on to Christ with all our strength. It's difficult for my husband to see me get worse and nothing that can be done about it, and he is not healthy himself so that sometimes makes me feel guilty that I need him for so many basic things, but in the end it makes us grow closer together than if we were healthy.
If you need to talk, you can PM me or you can start a thread in Chat to the Moderators and call it "Mieke" or "Miepie" and I will answer you there. That way you don't have to wait until you can PM. :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

The Preacher
Oct 4th 2008, 12:10 PM
It's incredible that even though we all go through different trails the emotions and pain that we experience is the same. I know that when I am in deep turmoil due to a trail or an uncontrollable event the last word I want to hear is "quit feeling sorry for yourself". After all it's easy for THAT person to say it when his life is going perfectly well and he's in a time of joy and light. How can he possibly know my pain and what I am going through. I have dealt with these thoughts on countless occasions because i am one who has been BLESSED to suffer often. I used to focus on the trail and wonder how I was ever going to get delivered and as I did the emotions grew worse and worse. I found that focusing on the situation allowed the enemy to control my thought life and suggest that God didn't love me the way he loves other people, I mean, look how he makes me suffer when he could instantly deliver me with one wave of his hand yet he does NOTHING. There were times when I so tortured by God's apparent rejection of me and his unwillingness to deliver me that I used to curse and scream at him for hours. I was going through some real trauma and no one cared least of all the one who was all powerful. I read countless books and testimonies of other people who would go through some minor trial for a short while and then get blessed but I could hardly relate. I was suffering for YEARS without any hope of deliverance or relief. There where however, moments when God's presence would fall on me and refresh me sometimes right after I had spent hours railing on him screaming how much I hated him for what he was putting me through. This was a wonder to me. All of a sudden my circumstances didn't matter any more. I was refreshed with life! HE was my joy! I found that his word became alive to me. I found that I could see things in it that no one else could see because my suffering was producing a depth of experience that only comes through seeing Jesus in hard situations. My trail isn't over..not by a long shot. As soon as I look at my situation I am overwhelmed by depression and anxiety. But when his presence comes it is worth the pain. That is my prayer for you, that right now,his presence would fall on you and refresh you with hope and life so that you can encourage your sick husband and minister to your children. This may sound cliche and plastic but I have found that the only thing that really matters..is Love.

WritingRose
Oct 4th 2008, 01:15 PM
Jude- yes, my husband knows the Lord thank God.

Miepie and Preacher, I will reply to your posts later on. But, miepie, I wll say now that I am sorry for your condition.

Jen

ServantofTruth
Oct 4th 2008, 01:49 PM
I have done many things on this site. I have 'fenced' over scriptures on topics. I have occassionally helped a little, occassionally quite a lot. I have tried to increase my ego/ status. Sometimes i have been helped a little.

The reason i say this is because i feel you need to re read The Preacher's last post. Perhaps even print it out and re read it for a few days.

Sometimes i read a reply to me and say thank you, that really helped me and honestly it did - but i didn't allow the fully benefit to sink in. There is God's Wisdom and Spirit filled personal experience in that post. If you like it is quality.

God uses everything to shape us. If we fight that shaping, we lose the benefit. When we submit to it, come in line with God's work in us fully, then we can do so much more for others both in Christ's family and non believing seekers.

You do need God's strength - but don't limit what you ask for please. Find your God given Gifts and use them. Many need praying for and believe me, many are in greater need than my family with 3 autistic children and an unsaved wife. On our knees together we can do much.

But can we help someone practically? Yes our days are full and many have more time, energy, and money - but we're not looking at them, because our need to help God's children is greater than our need to critise.

Because i do know a lady who lost her husband lately, and another seperated from her young son, and another who's God fearing husband may go to prison soon for a crime he didn't do - and they all need me and YOU.

So please cry out to the Lord for your needs, but keep it in proportion. He is blessing you and your loved ones every day so much - so thank Him. Praise and Worship, because his gifts daily far out weigh the burden and that is what the Preacher is saying.

People need you and the more you give, the more you'll realise the more strength God gives you. The more opportunities he'll put in your way, or perhaps they were always there and you didn't see them or thought i can't give any more. I'm telling you - YOU CAN! in love.

Even this topic is a 2 way street. You are blessing us and i will grow. Are there things your husband could do to help others more? Change his focus? Give you more personal time? More prayer? More witnessing to those few people he meets? More praising God for his wonderful life?

This post has not been easy to write. Because i fear hurting you. When i want to express love. So if it makes you very angry - let it out and reply and tell me. I will accept any mistakes i have made.

MiePie and The Preacher - i admit have a better way of expressing things. Perhaps they can take this post and express it better? SofTy.

WritingRose
Oct 4th 2008, 02:40 PM
I actually was very touched by Preacher's post, but with kids' screaming in my ear, it's a bit difficult to fully express yourself or to fully absorb what has been said. And unfortunately I can't fully appreciate it at the moment, either. Just wanted to clearify that Preacher's post definitely stirred me, and there are a lot of thoughts rolling around my mind that I haven't expressed.

No, Softy, I am not angry. Thanks for your posts and for keeping in touch.

_jen

WritingRose
Oct 5th 2008, 02:42 AM
It's incredible that even though we all go through different trails the emotions and pain that we experience is the same. I know that when I am in deep turmoil due to a trail or an uncontrollable event the last word I want to hear is "quit feeling sorry for yourself". After all it's easy for THAT person to say it when his life is going perfectly well and he's in a time of joy and light. How can he possibly know my pain and what I am going through. I have dealt with these thoughts on countless occasions because i am one who has been BLESSED to suffer often. I used to focus on the trail and wonder how I was ever going to get delivered and as I did the emotions grew worse and worse.I found that focusing on the situation allowed the enemy to control my thought life

Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean here, word for word. When I focus on how overwhelming our circumstances are, I feel like I'm drowning and I became frightened and angry and bitter. But when I recall all of the answered prayer I've received lately (later I'll make a list for all of you. You won't believe it.), and when I remember that God is in control, and all I need to do is the best I can do, leaving the rest in God's hands, I know that things will begin to fall in place. All i have to do is trust him and move on with the things I am supposed to do. The things he's set in my life to tend to.

Ok, I'm going to handle this bit by bit because I keep getting interrupted and losing my train of thought. But expect another post(s) from me tonight. Thanks!

WritingRose
Oct 5th 2008, 03:27 AM
later.... not sure message was properly received, and most likely misunderstood

WritingRose
Oct 5th 2008, 08:06 AM
I removed my last post, thinking no one quite understood it. If you got the wrong impression of me from reading it, all I can say is I'm sorry... we are all human, but God can use our faults to his advantage.
Ok, thanks.

ServantofTruth
Oct 5th 2008, 01:31 PM
Hi again and may God bless you and the whole family today. We have a very small lounge and when the 5 children all come it, forget trying to even think! So i understand totally.

I missed the post you removed, but don't hold back. Lately i've let myself look quite a fool and the blessing have been good! Your new friend in Jesus' name, SofTy.

WritingRose
Oct 5th 2008, 01:40 PM
Hi again and may God bless you and the whole family today. We have a very small lounge and when the 5 children all come it, forget trying to even think! So i understand totally.

I missed the post you removed, but don't hold back. Lately i've let myself look quite a fool and the blessing have been good! Your new friend in Jesus' name, SofTy.


Hiya, Softy. I will fill you in on what was said in PM, once I gain those privileges, which should be around Wednesday. It was an awesome story, but one of those things that might not come accross right to all people... so you have to pick and choose who you tell. Lol, I don't think I was wise to post it here.

Thanks! And God bless you and your family as well.

Dani H
Oct 5th 2008, 05:50 PM
Hi Rose,

I am no stranger to loneliness, and in those times, my help comes from my Friend and Savior, who sticks closer than a brother.

I pray that God will comfort you with the reality of His Presence today, and ease your sense of loneliness with His very own fellowship. Because I understand how we can be lonely while surrounded by people, because we can never really share our hearts with them. But we can share them with God, and with other hearts that beat the same rhythms that ours do.

Because, you see, we are never really alone in our struggles and in our plight, but sometimes we think we are, and that is when we focus on ourselves. Yet God asks us to focus on His heart, and by doing so, we will find many other hearts that beat the same as ours and that will listen and fellowship with us, and we will find much strength.

God bless you richly today. :hug:

And, Amen to Preacher's post.

Daniela

ServantofTruth
Oct 6th 2008, 09:25 PM
I'd like to share a story very familiar to all of us. Matthew 8:23-27. The Storm. How often have i read this, seen a topic about it etc. I know it all, and it passes me by. So i miss it's God given power in my life.

Matthew's gospel is begining to speak to me often, even though i'm not studying it or even reading it, in my daily reading.

It's like Jesus is saying to me personally - Why are you so afraid? You don't have much faith.'

He's right. So i have prayed 'I believe' - help me believe more. (Sounds familar biblically :))

I put so many limits on the power of God, both in my life and the life of my children. The blessings near cease coming and although i see them clearer now and do thank our Lord, is it enough?

I guess we all struggle and i wanted to share my own daily one with you. Do you have any advice or encouragement for me? Sorry to be a little selfish, but i feel there is a Spirit led reason for asking you. SofTy.

Dani H
Oct 7th 2008, 01:07 AM
Softy (can I call you that? I like that name):

I think this is something we all deal with. I know I have, and still do.

God has lately brought me to the understanding that it's not a matter of how much faith we have, it's where we put it. I had to literally sit there, in prayer, and look at where my faith was, and saw that it was spread all over the place. In my business, in my own abilities, in flesh-and-blood people, etc., etc. And I had to see that in every area where I had placed my faith, the result was massive disappointment and let-downs and things just falling apart everywhere. So I had to gather all of my faith from all over the map, and place it ALL into God; the whole lump of it. That was a hard-earned lesson, but needed, and I did learn from it. People that tell you that you don't have enough faith, are not correct. It's all matter of where it is. This is why Jesus said, "Have faith in God." Because faith like a mustard seed, when put in the right place, can grow up to become a big plant and provide shade and shelter for others (that's my understanding of that parable, which may or may not be way off the mark). And a mustard seed is just a tiny little thing. It's a dense seed, though, not hollow.

Also, fear is the opposite of faith. That has something to do with it too. Because if our faith isn't firmly rooted in God, then it will become easier for fear to overtake us when we look at things around us. But if we have it in God, then we can see through the eyes of faith, and God, and look at a situation from that angle, and know that the Lion of Judah is very much in control, and He will deliver us.

That's my take on it. I hope this blesses you, and that it didn't come across too "lecture-y." :)

turtledove
Oct 12th 2008, 08:58 AM
Hi Rose, having had to deal with serious illness and the illnesses of others my heart goes out to you..I am sharing a scripture which has encouraged me:

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


My prayer is that you will feel the strength of God in your situation.


peace and prayers :hug::pray:

larry2
Oct 13th 2008, 02:51 AM
Dear Sister Jen, you also break my heart as I sit and read of your condition, but I know whom I have trusted, and that He is able in the lowest valley we find ourselves in, and He will not fail you. I just pray that God lifts the burden from you and restores the joy of your salvation. If you're in doubt of your husbands salvation never give up praying and talking of God to him; this health issue may be just the thing God is using to bring him in, and what a glorious thing that will be. May God comfort you as you attend your husband and all the others chores you must have in the blessed name of Jesus. AMEN.

Godismyteacher
Oct 27th 2008, 05:47 AM
Reading this brought me to tears. A dear friend of mine has MRSA and is treated like a leper. I know how hard it is.

First of all, I would try a different church. Jesus embraced the sick with love. If your pastor is too worried about getting sick from your husband, what kind of pastor is he? Pastors are meant to confide in. End of story.

Secondly, don't get down on yourself for feeling sad about your situation. God understands your sorrow and you will come out of this SO much stronger than before.

I will surely pray for you and your family and I hope to see you again on the forums.

- Moriah