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*Living~By~Faith*
Oct 6th 2008, 05:32 AM
My church has amazing praise and worship services and alter calls. You can really feel the Holy Spirit moving within people in the church. I want to experience what others in my church do, but I can't seem to get into it like others seem to. I usually sit there feeling so empty, alone and void when services turn out like this.

I feel so out of place, like I don't belong there, when I see others praising and worshipping the Lord the way they do. I know that I received the Holy Spirit when I was saved, but like I said above I just feel so empty and alone inside.

I don't know how to explain this, but you know how people get emotional during services. I've never experienced getting emotional during church services. Actually I did get a little emotional when the thoughts of feeling like a failure came over me. I don't know, maybe I just don't want to cry in front of others. But that isn't what matters, all that matters is you and God and what God is dealing with you at that time. I know it may sound strange, but I would like to experience that because I feel like it is a release.

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why I can't experience what others do. I feel like failure as a Christian. I hope some of that made sense. If you have any insights on this or anything let me know. I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with me, so that I may be able to experience the full glory that the Lord has for me.

The Preacher
Oct 6th 2008, 07:02 AM
I don't know how to explain this, but you know how people get emotional during services. I've never experienced getting emotional during church services.

I think you hit it on the head when you said "emotional response"
There are many people who respond emotionally in a service yet lack any real walk with the Lord. It's sad to say that many times such responses are a subtle form of spiritual competition. As we walk further with the Lord we understand that the word ( Jesus) comes in and divides our soul from spirit(heb 4:12) and this results in a mature discernment of what is truly spiritual.


I just don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why I can't experience what others do. I also feel like failure as a Christian. I hope some of that made sense. If you have any insights on this or anything let me know. I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with me, so that I may be able to experience the full glory that the Lord has for me.
It's important for you to connect with the Lord in worship and totally devote yourself to beholding him and appreciating his many virtues . This connection will infuse you with life and peace to the degree that you will not be looking around to see how others are responding. Many of the emotional responses you see are from immature saints trying to fit in with the status quo. If you want to truly enter into worship the first thing you need to do is stop looking around and focus your being entirely on Jesus and the Father. Remember this is their time. The Father looks with expectation for those who will focus entirely upon him. If you practice this I promise that after your souls is tested then you will feel his presence as never before.

choffmann
Oct 6th 2008, 01:05 PM
I too know what it's like to see others "moved" in worship. However, just because you don't stand up and shout your praises, does not mean the spirit of the lord isn't in you. When you sit in that chair and watch others shout their joy, take the time to remember the different ways people express their faith. Find your own person form of devotion. Perhaps you'll decide a simple wave to the heavens will be your sign of devotion.

and if you truely feel out of place, perhaps you should explore worship at a different church. Find something where you feel comfortable all the time. Worship shouldn't make you upset or uncomfortable.

After all...it's all about love :rolleyes:

Whispering Grace
Oct 6th 2008, 01:18 PM
I think you hit it on the head when you said "emotional response"
There are many people who respond emotionally in a service yet lack any real walk with the Lord.



Many of the emotional responses you see are from immature saints trying to fit in with the status quo.

I'm curious how you know this?

Whispering Grace
Oct 6th 2008, 01:21 PM
I just don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why I can't experience what others do. I also feel like failure as a Christian. I hope some of that made sense. If you have any insights on this or anything let me know. I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with me, so that I may be able to experience the full glory that the Lord has for me.


I think perhaps if you focus more on the Lord and less on what people are doing around you, your time in church will be more fulfilling.

moonglow
Oct 6th 2008, 01:36 PM
My church has amazing praise and worship services and alter calls. You can really feel the Holy Spirit moving within people in the church. I want to experience what others in my church do, but I can't seem to get into it like others seem to. I usually sit there feeling so empty, alone and void when services turn out like this.

I feel so out of place, like I don't belong there, when I see others praising and worshipping the Lord the way they do. I know that I received the Holy Spirit when I was saved, but like I said above I just feel so empty and alone inside.

I don't know how to explain this, but you know how people get emotional during services. I've never experienced getting emotional during church services. Actually I did get a little emotional when the thoughts of feeling like a failure came over me. I don't know, maybe I just don't want to cry in front of others. But that isn't what matters, all that matters is you and God and what God is dealing with you at that time. I know it may sound strange, but I would like to experience that because I feel like it is a release.

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why I can't experience what others do. I also feel like failure as a Christian. I hope some of that made sense. If you have any insights on this or anything let me know. I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with me, so that I may be able to experience the full glory that the Lord has for me.


Living~By~Faith...I am not sure what type of church you attend but I would probably feel as uncomfortable as you are in seeing people do this. And as empty. I am NOT saying there is a thing wrong with churches that have these types of emotional expression by their members...its just I have never belonged to a church like that. The churches I have always attended were very calm and quite (unless we were singing or all saying the Lord's prayer together.). Rarely did anyone say Amen out loud. The people attending these types of churches are just reserved and more conversative is all. I tried visiting a church where people were more vocal but I was very uncomfortable and felt exactly like you do...left out and empty. It may be your personality just isn't suited for this type of a church and you need a more conversative church to attend. I can't tell you how many times I did feel very moved during a sermon or a song and cried, but quietly. I have seen many others as deeply touched too but we just keep it to ourselves and try not to disrupt the service. If someone is so moved to tears they can't be quite about it they usually leave and go to the restroom until they can regain control.

This may sound odd to those that go to more vocal churches...its just the type of church many of us were raised in. Different churches for different personalities is all....no one right or better then another is how I see it. :) Just something to think about and consider. I don't think there is a thing wrong with you...you just may be better suited in a church like I described is all.

One other thought. My very deepest, most emotional spiritually moving times with God have been when I am home alone. I may put on some praise music and just be singing to that and praising Him...or in deep prayer...whatever it may be and those feelings you talked about happen. You don't have to be in a church to experience God. :hug:

God bless

daughter
Oct 6th 2008, 01:38 PM
Hi Living-by-Faith.

You know, the user name you chose has the answer to your quandary. You live by faith - and although there will be times when you experience and feel great and beautiful things, that response isn't what saves you, nor is it proof of your salvation. You don't know God because you feel good about Him, or because you have feelings of joy. All of us go through dry times, times when we can't feel Him, or when we doubt our responses, and look at others, thinking they are somehow holier than us.

Instead of looking at what you imagine you lack, or what you imagine others have, remember to focus on Jesus. Even when you feel dry and depressed, or when you feel nothing at all, look to HIM. Read what saints of old had to go through... Jeremiah, or Job. Jesus Christ Himself felt at one point that He'd lost contact with God. And yet even in that utter absence of communion and joy He obeyed God utterly.

We have to model ourselves on Jesus. If we feel that we have to perform, or generate emotional responses, to please God, we're missing the point. He loves you anyway. He loves you always. He is with you - and you especially please Him when you obey Him, even though you feel you're getting nothing from it.

Don't lose hope or heart. It's all about Him - and you know He'll never forsake you. :hug:

Dani H
Oct 6th 2008, 02:39 PM
Dear Living by Faith,

It's okay to have your own personality and not be like everybody else. I'm naturally more reserved, and so I just watch everybody else hop about and shout around.

Being spiritual has nothing to do with being emotional, as emotions reside in the soul, and so there is a big difference.

There's nothing wrong with you as long as you continue to obey God and pursue a relationship with Him, and continue to trust Jesus to guide you along.

And you cannot assess your relationship with God based on what happens during a church service and how other people act. It can only be measured against daily life. So please don't compare yourself, and don't be discouraged. How do you know how those other people act during the week and what is really going on? You don't. So please do yourself a favor and get your eyes off them during worshp, and on God, and you will be fine. :)

Do you always feel empty and alone, or only during church services?

If only during church, then maybe it's time to move on and go elsewhere. Or plug yourself into a home group and really get to know some people and have fellowship with them, if you haven't done so yet. It can get quite lonely if we want to be part of a group only for 2 hours a week, and really never get to know one another personally. That's not what church is about, anyway.

Blessings.

turtledove
Oct 6th 2008, 03:49 PM
If this is where you believe the Lord wants you to be then maybe you need to pray as to why the uncomfortable feeling. I am in a church where music and praise tends to be loud and people do raise their hands. But not everyone does nor is expected to do the same thing. We have quiet moments during the service too. I always prefer them myself; but I also like to be able to raise my hands up to the Lord when we are praising Him.

After praying some more about this and giving it some time.. if you believe you are being called to be somewhere else then maybe it is time to consider looking for another place of worship. I encourage you to make sure it is a solid bible believing atmosphere where the Word of God is preached. As has been shared here there are different kinds of services and not all are right for everyone.

The main thing is to get before the Lord yourself and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

peace and prayers,

owl

ServantofTruth
Oct 6th 2008, 09:11 PM
What is the foundation of all scripture - LOVE.

What does Paul say about Spitual gifts in relation to - LOVE

I'll share just one verse, 1 Corinthians 13:13 For now there are faith, hope and love. But of these three, the greatest is LOVE.

One church/ one bible/ one Lord Jesus Christ

Your failure would be sitting alone and not realising your brothers and sisters in Christ love you. Your failure would be not sharing the Word of God the bible. Your failure would be not believing your heavenly Father has you and me in his arms and loves us more than we can imagine in this life.

I think you are wiser than you think, God bless you. SofTy. :)

*Living~By~Faith*
Oct 6th 2008, 09:12 PM
Sunday nights are usually the only time services are like that. We also had communion last night, which made a difference in the services.

I don't feel like I belong at my church, but it would also be hard for me to go to another church, so that's not an option until I move to town. But I believe this an attack of the enemy because he doesn't want us in fellowship. I also feel that the Lord lead me to this church due to the events leading up to me coming there. So I feel I'd be getting out of God's will if I left. I really do enjoy the services and usually get something out of it just by sitting there absorbing it all in. I have learned so much at this church and am now involved in classes where I can continue to learn. I've also been delivered from a lot of things that were keeping me from growing closer to the Lord. I'm also beginning to become more involved in this church.

I think a lot of this doesn't really have anything to do with the church, but it's about things within myself. I am more reserved and conservative. I know that my "problem" is that I have a hard time focusing completely on the Lord with all of the other people around me. I began sitting on the side in the front at my church a couple of weeks ago, so that I can't see as many people during praise and worship. That has helped me a bit to be able to focus more fully on the Lord. But it doesn't really help when there is an alter call.

I feel like I'm going through a deep valley once again. It's all just getting to be too much for me to handle. I've been crying on and off since getting home from church last night. I'm just so overwhelmed, stressed and worried with everything going on in my life right now -- wanting to move to town, my dad's mental and physical health and liking a guy that likes someone else. I thought I finally let go of the last one, but I'm having a hard time since he's made it known who he likes in the church. I know I need and must give this all to God, but I don't know how to do that without taking it back like I have done in the past.

The Preacher
Oct 6th 2008, 10:15 PM
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I'm curious how you know this?






After 25 years of worshiping in charismatic fellowships you get ample opportunity to compare the responses of some believers with their actual walk. I have had the baptism and walked in the gifts of the Spirit for many years but I think your question was actually answered best in my previous post. The word of God comes in and begins to divide your soulish motives and desires from your spiritual ones. As this process proceeds you gain an ever increasing sense of discernment and insight into spiritual things. You begin to notice that people are responding to madision avenue tactics, psychological manipulation and sheer power of suggestion by worship leaders who are trying to pump up a meeting. In certain instances the insight you have gained will show you that God is actually GRIEVED with certain people and yet they are jumping and shouting more than anyone.

ConqueredbyLove
Oct 7th 2008, 12:31 AM
It's important for you to connect with the Lord in worship and totally devote yourself to beholding him and appreciating his many virtues . This connection will infuse you with life and peace to the degree that you will not be looking around to see how others are responding. Many of the emotional responses you see are from immature saints trying to fit in with the status quo. If you want to truly enter into worship the first thing you need to do is stop looking around and focus your being entirely on Jesus and the Father. Remember this is their time. The Father looks with expectation for those who will focus entirely upon him. If you practice this I promise that after your souls is tested then you will feel his presence as never before.



I like this answer. I would also like to add that our (true) worship of the Lord at church is an extension of how we relate to Him the rest of the week.

Precious soul, are you having trouble connecting with or believing in the Lord's love for you outside of Church? A heart that really has come to believe in the Lord's uncondtional love for them will "connect" with the Lord alot easier.

I have "seen" both sides. I had great difficulty believing the Lord loved me unconditonally for many years. But, when the Lord slowly, as I was able, began to heal me in that area, I was able to connect with Him much easier in songs or hymns of worship and praise.

Just a thought......perhaps I am wrong here...

"Remember this is their time"...I love that comment, The Preacher! How often I forget that. Sometimes at home a song will play and the Lord will whisper in my ear. "........", will you come and worship me?" :hug:

*Living~By~Faith*
Oct 7th 2008, 01:28 AM
I do have trouble grasping God's love for me. I really struggle with being able to fully grasp Jesus dying for me. I believe it, but it's like I can't grasp my mind around that.

I do feel empty and alone most of the time, so it's not just during church. I also struggle praising and worshiping the Lord when I'm alone as well.

Dani H
Oct 7th 2008, 02:06 AM
Hmm. Have you been hurt or traumatized somehow in years past?

I used to have massive problems accepting God's love because of things I happened when I grew up. I could never believe I deserved His love, and always felt like I had to earn it, and there was always a wall that would come up during prayer time.

I remember a discussion with God during a car trip once when I was feeling particularly dour, when I said "Lord, You know I love You, right?" His response was "I know. I just wanted you to know that I know." Which resulted in me doing much boo-hooing because I understood then that God did indeed hear my heart, and saw my love for Him in it, and that He would care enough to let me know, so I no longer had to wonder about it. That went a long way with me finally being able to accept His love for me, and learn to trust Him completely. But I carried a lot of pain around in my soul that had to be remedied and that I had to surrender over the years and allow Him to heal.

No, we didn't earn God's love. But we do deserve it, and we are meant to love Him, because He first loved us. :hug:

The Preacher
Oct 7th 2008, 03:53 AM
I do have trouble grasping God's love for me. I really struggle with being able to fully grasp Jesus dying for me. I believe it, but it's like I can't grasp my mind around that.

I do feel empty and alone most of the time, so it's not just during church. I also struggle praising and worshiping the Lord when I'm alone as well.


I recommend the Jack Frost series on experincing the father's embrace.It is an awesome series on correcting the wrong image we have of God the Father. It really helped me. Jack Frost has passed on but some of the series he has left to the body of Christ is an awesome legacy. It really helps you break through to a knowledge that God really loves you and any doubts you have about that are based on strongholds of thinking that the enemy has put into you through abuse,sin and neglect. Of course there is nothing to be compared to God's own words on his love towards you as expressed in his word.

*Living~By~Faith*
Oct 7th 2008, 05:12 AM
I would like to be able to praise the Lord when I get up in the mornings, but my first thoughts upon waking up are usually along the lines of....just another boring day. Or I don't have a life or I don't like my life. I really would love to give my life fully to God and live completely for Him. But that is just a struggle for me. I know my life would be much better if I let God have complete control to do what He wants to do with my life and make my into the person that He wants me to be.

I'm just going through a deep valley once again. It's all just getting to be too much for me to handle. I've been crying on and off since getting home from church last night. I'm just so overwhelmed, stressed and worried with everything going on in my life right now -- wanting to move to town, my dad's mental and physical health and liking a guy that likes someone else. I thought I finally let go of the last one, but I'm having a hard time since he's made it known who he likes in the church. I know I need and must give this all to God, but I don't know how to do that without taking it back like I have done in the past.

I also wish I had a place that I could go to daily to spend time alone with the Lord without anyone or anything distracting me. I feel that would help me a lot.

turtledove
Oct 7th 2008, 12:54 PM
I would like to be able to praise the Lord when I get up in the mornings, but my first thoughts upon waking up are usually along the lines of....just another boring day. Or I don't have a life or I don't like my life. I really would love to give my life fully to God and live completely for Him. But that is just a struggle for me. I know my life would be much better if I let God have complete control to do what He wants to do with my life and make my into the person that He wants me to be.

I'm just going through a deep valley once again. It's all just getting to be too much for me to handle. I've been crying on and off since getting home from church last night. I'm just so overwhelmed, stressed and worried with everything going on in my life right now -- wanting to move to town, my dad's mental and physical health and liking a guy that likes someone else. I thought I finally let go of the last one, but I'm having a hard time since he's made it known who he likes in the church. I know I need and must give this all to God, but I don't know how to do that without taking it back like I have done in the past.

I also wish I had a place that I could go to daily to spend time alone with the Lord without anyone or anything distracting me. I feel that would help me a lot.

Dear Living by Faith, As you, yourself, have shared..and I agree that this does sound like an attack coming at you as your thoughts are spiraling down and as that negative thinking continues it is really easy to go more and more into depression. It may help to start a thread about the depression and these thoughts in Counseling Requests where others there can counsel you more than we can here. Here mainly we can give you comfort and encouragement and you have been given good and attentive replies here.

I could move this thread to Counseling requests for you but it starts out about something else (namely about your church)and now has gone into your feelings of depression so I think it best not to. I think it could help you to start a new thread over in Counseling Requests but it is up to you. It may also help to talk to someone in your church about how it is going for you and receive some counsel there..maybe a pastor or counselor on staff??

Meanwhile, this morning you are in my prayers. As for finding the time for the Lord you want and need..you might consider taking a break from posting and using the time in which you have been spending on other sections as well as here to just get alone with the Lord.

peace in Christ, :hug:



wiseoldowl ... facilitator

*Living~By~Faith*
Oct 7th 2008, 07:28 PM
I'll think about it. I don't think I have much else to discuss on that right now. I'm just overwhelmed and confused. I think I may try talking to my pastor or his wife soon. I feel like I don't fit in at my current church, but I know the problem is me instead of the church. I'll feel that way anywhere I go.

turtledove
Oct 7th 2008, 08:38 PM
I'll think about it. I don't think I have much else to discuss on that right now. I'm just overwhelmed and confused. I think I may try talking to my pastor or his wife soon. I feel like I don't fit in at my current church, but I know the problem is me instead of the church. I'll feel that way anywhere I go.

Good, talking to your pastor and his wife sounds like the right thing to do. This feeling about 'not fitting in anywhere you go' needs careful looking at. A good counselor or pastor can help you with that. Also I read in one of your posts that you have been let down lately by an individual in your church. That kind of disappointment can add to this. As for the "confusion" you mention in your post above; although God understands how we get confused God is NOT the author of confusion.

1 Cor. 14:33...For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace..(KJV)

2 Cor. 10:3-5 (TNIV)For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
(TNIV)

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

1 Peter 5:8-9 (NIV) Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

2 Cor 5:7 (KJV) For we walk by faith, not by sight...

Peace. :pray:

scaredALLways
Oct 14th 2008, 05:05 AM
I just wanted to say I understand how you feel because I too used to attend a church that was very 'energetic' and I felt like I was missing something but I have been reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and I certainly do NOT want to offend you, simply sharing something I am learning myself...It's not about you. Go, be happy in knowing you are making God smile, You are going to worship Him and if you merely focus on this, I would imagine you won't notice the folks around you and how they react to the service if your focusing all your thoughts on praising God and letting him know how AWESOME he is. :pray:

... our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.