PDA

View Full Version : I'm hurting



anne2233
Oct 14th 2008, 02:32 AM
My boyfriend broke up with me last night and I'm hurting so bad. He is denying his feelings towards me, yet I know his feelings for me are there. I want to send him a Bible quote that I still have hope for us or a quote that he shouldn't deny his feelings, or even perhaps a quote anyone deems appropriate.

I want so much for us to get back together. He is a very religious man and God guides him in so many ways. Could someone please offer a wise Bible quote that I could send him to help us work through this?

Thank you so much for reading this.

CoffeeCat
Oct 14th 2008, 03:31 AM
Anne, I'm so sorry you're hurting. :hug: I wanted to let you know I'm lifting you up in prayer right now. I'm not sure which verse you could send him, but there are many verses through the Bible on feeling hurt, on feeling lonely, on needing and wanting God. Check the psalms, especially. And I'll be praying that God's will be done here, for the two of you. :hug:

Here are the verses I have listed in my signature, just in case you can't see signatures yet... and I pray they comfort you.


Verses to Remember
~ It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
~ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)
~ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 28-31)

anne2233
Oct 14th 2008, 05:32 PM
CoffeeCat,

Oh, thank you so much for your kind words and prayer. I sure could use a prayer right now! The quotes are perfect. I am going to use Deuteronomy so that he is reminded I was placed in his life for a reason and not to fear.

Please continue to pray that it works out between us.
Thank you.

winwun
Oct 14th 2008, 10:17 PM
Simply getting "him back" solves the problem for you, but does it solve the problem as it affects him ?

This situation, to be properly resolved must be viewed in its entirety, and it is in three parts:

Part 1 is how it affects you, and part 2 is how it affects him, and part 3 is the problem that separated you two.

Your boyfriend is capable of taking action, and he apparently did just that, and you must consider that he acted relative to part 3 of the problem.

It is possible that he views the "break-up" as a solution to a situation not of his liking, and that now, all is well.

I am so sorry for you and I wish it were possible that I could share your hurt, for I have been there, and it is like your heart is being torn from your body -- God knows your pain and wants you to have peace . . .

However little you want to admit the possibility of your boy-friend not wanting a continuing relationship with you, it must be faced, and you must honestly seek to understand the entire nature of the situation, and not view it from a view-point of satisfying only your own desires, because that might not be the answer.

To quote scripture might make matters worse in this case, for to do so would make it appear that you have the Bible on your side, and irregardless of how he perceives the rightness of his position, he cannot fight you and the Bible too.

Consider that he might also be able to find scriptural references as to the correctness of his actions.

I am sure my words aren't what you want to hear, but please prayerfully consider the whole of the problem, not just your narrow and biased view of it -- you see only your hurt, but God sees the situation from all sides, so pray for God's will to be done, not that God send your boyfriend back to you.

livingwaters
Oct 15th 2008, 12:46 AM
Winwun, maybe this is the work of God! You, yourself said, "he is a very religious man.." As much as I don't like the word, "religious," maybe as a Christian, he has received a word from the Lord. I really don't know. But, as posted above, pray for God's will to be done and don't let your emotions and feelings block God's voice in this matter. You surely need to :pray::pray::pray:pray about it and be patient and wait on the Lord.

God Bless:):hug:

jponb
Oct 15th 2008, 02:43 AM
Dearest Winwun,
Allow me to be frank here. If he left, you are aware of the reason why. The first step is to pray on why you two were having problems. Somewhere, somehow, someway... things went wrong. The first step to resolving a problem is to identify the problem. If resolving the problem is not the direction you are heading in and the only thing you want to do is just get back together again while sweeping the problem underneath the rug, you are more than likely heading toward bigger problems to come. If you too are still communicating, have a HEART to HEART talk to him. Listen to how he feels. Be honest to him about how you feel. If the two of you can't resolve the problem as honest Christians, then maybe it is best that you go your separate ways before hurting each other deeper. The key here is that both of you have to be HONEST. If it is something that you two deem that it is not that big of an issue, then don't make it one. Love will hide those multitudes of faults. But if one of you deem it to be a big issuem, then the other has to be fair in dealing with the others heart. I hope this helps.

anne2233
Oct 15th 2008, 03:36 AM
All,

I cannot thank you enough for your honesty and sincerity. Yes, I understand my post sounded selfish and, in retrospect, I should have worded it differently. I am not a selfish person and I do have his, as well as my, happiness in mind. He does care for me and is having trouble facing those feelings due to past situations in his life. I pray that he accepts his feelings for me with God's grace.

Understanding what went wrong in the first place in our relationship is something that I have thought long and hard about. I have prayed for guidance, forgiveness, and God's will. I have prayed for God to guide both him and me during this difficult time. We both are struggling right now.

I feel there is a reason God placed us in one another's life.

Again, thank you so much for your kind words and honesty.

winwun
Oct 15th 2008, 12:18 PM
Anne, please forgive me for speaking words that were perhaps harsh and not as comforting as you would have liked.

I hope the small amount of time that has passed since your BF and you parted has eased the brunt of the pain the separation has caused.

Perhaps also, you have had the opportunity to view the problem that caused the separtation, and to perhaps consider it from the perspective of your BF.

Try this: pretend you are your BF, and someone asks you, "Why did you break up with your GF?"

What would your answer be ?


Remember also that prayer withut deeds is something less than adequate to the task . . .

May God's Blessings shine upon your troubled heart and ease your suffering . . .

anne2233
Oct 15th 2008, 03:13 PM
Winwum,

You are too kind. Thank you. Yes, since the minute we broke up, I have reflected upon the reason. And, yes, I have placed myself in his position. That is usually the first thing I do when a conflict arises...try to understand the other's point of view. So, I have been very thoughtful of his feelings. Prayer without deed is a mistake a lot of people make. I feel I have backed-up my prayers with deed in this situation.

Relationships/marriages have difficult times and bumpy roads. I don't believe God's will is that every break-up is permanent, yet instead possibly a learning experience on how to move forward and grow in that same relationship. My prayers are that he and I can learn from his and continue forward. I'm still hurting, but you and everyone else who have answered my call have softened the pain. Thank you so much for your prayers and guidance. I do want my relationship to work out and hope we can learn and move forward together. :hug: Hugs to you all.

Anne

richlyblessed
Oct 15th 2008, 04:39 PM
Yes getting him back, maybe the only thing on your mind now, but have you asked yourself, how to make him stick with you, have you found how to increase the love you once shared or rekindle it if it is lost? Remember God is love and if you have faith and a strong belief anything is possible. You need to learn to use your power of belief. I found something very helpful here www.get-the-right-spouse.blogspot.com (http://www.get-the-right-spouse.blogspot.com)

anne2233
Oct 22nd 2008, 02:52 AM
Hello,

I wanted to give you an update on my break-up.

My boyfriend (who broke-up with me) surprised me by showing up at my home tonight. We hadn't spoken since the break-up. After reading your comments and looking to God for strength, I had accepted that we were broken up and that was God's will. So, imagine my surprise when I answered the door and there he (my ex-boyfriend) was standing. He came inside and we spoke for several hours in a wonderfully honest conversation with no distractions. This is very healthy and is a good start to figure out where we went wrong.

Thank you all, again, for your guidance and thoughts.

Anne

jponb
Oct 22nd 2008, 03:06 AM
Glad to hear it Anne. Remember open and honest communication. Thanks for the update.

JesusReignsForever
Oct 24th 2008, 03:34 PM
My boyfriend broke up with me last night and I'm hurting so bad. He is denying his feelings towards me, yet I know his feelings for me are there. I want to send him a Bible quote that I still have hope for us or a quote that he shouldn't deny his feelings, or even perhaps a quote anyone deems appropriate.

I want so much for us to get back together. He is a very religious man and God guides him in so many ways. Could someone please offer a wise Bible quote that I could send him to help us work through this?

Thank you so much for reading this.

I'm sorry to hear about your break up with your boyfriend. I know it can be really tough sometimes, to except that someone dosent want to be with you anymore. But you cant make someone love you or want to be with you. If it is meant for the two of you to be together it will happen. Stay strong.

turtledove
Oct 24th 2008, 04:09 PM
Hello to all: Please read the sticky guidelines for the Comfort and Encouragement section which are posted in the stickies at the top of the page.

Here: http://bibleforums.org/showthread.php?t=49910

Closing this thread since the situation has changed and this thread has run its course.


wiseoldowl/ facilitator of C&E. :)