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View Full Version : The Long Trek Home



Maz
Oct 15th 2008, 01:28 PM
I came to (approached the Light) of the Lord circa 1982, but I was more like a wayside heart. (The parable of the sower) I have by now fulfilled all four categories of the heart in that parable. I had a wayside heart for years, and anything I heard was stolen from me. I had a stony heart also with no depth. I have had a thorny heart and have had the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches enter in and steal the word from me.

I believe I have a good ground heart at this writing. I certainly want the Lordship of Christ to reign and have His way in me. I want to be willing and obedient just like it says in Isaiah 1:19. I do not seek after a sinful life or nature and I want to flee iniquity. I can be tricked at times by my own flesh, the world, and the devil, but thank God for 1 John 1:9!

During the 1986- 1996 decade, I did stuff I knew better than to do. I knew it was sin, but I did it anyways. I actually could not stop. My sins were many and grievous, as all sins are. I never did anything more than other men, really, but I was convicted of it a lot more because of the faith and confession to the Lord back in '82. My closet has it's skeletons, but the Lord has forgiven me of all my past life, and I know He has, for He told me so!

Devilish carnality had hold of me to the extent that I enjoyed sinning on the one side and was made very uncomfortable in my soul on the other. I was in a strait betwixt the two, and I wanted out, but just could not give it up. I was addicted to sin!

But I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning while my wife slept beside me, and I would look up into the ceiling and say in a whisper, "Lord. I am sinning, and I cannot stop! Please help me!" This went on for quite some time.

At Christmas, 1995 my wife bought me a KJV electronic bible and concordance. (One of those little handheld deals which you can use to read or search for scriptures) I had no use for it at that time, and it sat on the end table by my sofa until about late February of 1996.

I was "home alone" one day and as I sat, I idly picked up the "E bible," opened the cover and turned it on. I felt like playing with it for some reason, and I entered the first word that came into my head, which was "unforgiven!" I felt that word described my plight pretty well! It began to whirl and cycle through the canon of the word, and then a little info panel opened up on the screen saying, "Unforgiven not in bible." The split second I read those words, something like a rushing wind blew through me so powerfully I thought the door must be open and a wind blowing! I had thought I had sinned to a point where there could be no forgiveness. I suddenly knew I was wrong, and that the Lord wanted to set me free!

A few days later in March 1996, I was coming back home from a trip on my job as a truck driver. I was west of Toronto, Ontario and I was approaching an exit where there was a large truck stop and it had a bible chapel on the lot. As I approached the exit at highway speed, I suddenly heard a voice speak, saying "Turn aside!"

I thought I was imagining things! I continued to approach the exit, and made no move to obey the voice. The voice spoke again, more commandingly this time! "Turn aside!" I instantly had a recollection of one sermon I had heard years before when I was a regular church goer for a short while. It was about how Moses saw a bush burning without being consumed, and he "turned aside" to have a better look!

I snapped the wheel over to steer into the exit ramp and braked stiffly to slow for the turn into the truckstop! I entered the lot and it was so full of trucks that there was no place to park. I elected to chalk it up as an overactive imagination, and I began to pull back out on the road.

I was coming by the bible chapel, and just then a truck pulled out from a stall right beside the chapel! I "knew" I had best park in the hole he left! I still was bewildered by it all, and I looked in my pocket and only had a quarter, not enough even for a cup of coffee! I thought I would just phone the boss, and get under way! As I came adjacent to the steps of the bible chapel, this voice spoke one last time and said, "Turn aside!"

I went up the steps and into the chapel to find an elderly gent nodding away in a rocking chair at the far end of the room. My entrance stirred him from his napping , and he asked me what he could do for me. I explained how I had heard this mysterious voice three times telling me to "turn aside", and that I had come in there now figuring I had best obey the voice and I asked him to hear my confession, and pray for me. I bared my soul, and he ministered and prayed. I felt a burden lift and a definite release as though I had been washed clean! It was tangible in it's effect! I was in the chapel about two hours, captivated by the love. The second the minister said amen to the prayer, the door opened up and another trucker came in to visit! I went home feeling like I had a new lease on life!

The very next weekend I just "knew" I had to get to church! I found a charismatic church I knew about, but arrived late. The service was soon over, and an explanation that a visiting ministry from the "Toronto Blessing" would be there that same evening (St Patricks day, March 17th 1996). I was impressed upon that I was to come back to that service!

Sure enough, I got there and this minister was up preaching a sermon he called "The frozen chosen!" At the end of the message, there was a prayer line and I needed to be in it! I went up, unashamed in a crowd of strangers! The manifestations of spiritual power were plainly evident in a way I have seldom seen since that day! Two girls in their mid twenties came up and manifested demons, and this preacher guy commanded them out, and they went screaming and leaving the now clean vessels lying on the floor! People were stacked up like cordwood, and I said, "Lord there is no way I want to make that kind of spectacle of myself!"

The minister came to me, and I told him I was healed and forgiven of my backsliding ways, and wanted the gift of the Holy Spirit! He began to pray in other tongues and then said that "Out of my belly shall flow rivers of living water!" He laid hands on me and I felt a ping like the shock one gets from walking on a static charged rug! The screen of my mind turned red! My lips and temples went numb! I fell backwards, not caring how I fell ! I lay prone for only about a minute, and I arose a new creature! I knew I was different! I was finaly genuinely happy! I could feel this Presence! My mind felt clean!

For 12 days afterwards, I felt like I was literallty walking on a cushion of air! I later began to realize the totality of my deliverance! I did not want to steal anymore. I did not want to swear. I no longer felt overwhelmed in self pity! I received a capacity for the word, and it came alive every time I read the bible! I could memorize scripture, and retain it easily! I was given a prayer language of my own! I felt like I was a totaly converted vessel! I have never wanted to go back to my former state since that day!

When I slipped into my car on the way home from that service, I only drove about an eighth of a mile, and I had this uncontrollable urge to weep! I pulled to the shoulder and wailed and wailed! I asked out loud, "Lord, why am I crying?" I heard a voice so loudly in my spirit man and yet speaking gently, and he said, "You have just realized all your sins are forgiven! You have finally seen My face and not just My hand!"

Thus began a new day and a new way for me! My life is not a shadow of what it was 10 years ago! The changes are all encompassing! The only thing I can honestly say I have now that I had back then is the skin that covers the glory within! I praise and thank God for that day!

The Lord gave me this word me soon after! It is my bible and I can read it personally. Where the bible says Eprahim, I could see my name written as plain as day!

Jer 31: 18. I have surely heard LARRY bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the Lord my God. 19. Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yea, even confounded, because I did bear the reproach of my youth. 20. Is LARRY my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spake against him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my bowels are troubled for him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith the Lord.

Seeker of truth
Oct 15th 2008, 02:48 PM
We serve an Amazing God :pp :pp :pp