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jlmccub2009
Oct 24th 2008, 04:42 AM
I've been with my boyfriend for just over a month, but I talked to him tonight on the phone and it turns out we're both a little confused about the same thing...Neither of us know if we're meant to be with each other or not. I know it's early in the relationship, but we've both been praying about it a little, and I've been talking to my sister (who has a much stronger faith than I do, and I hope that I can make my faith stronger by talking with her and my soon-to-be-brother-in-law, but anyway...).

Could some of you kind folks give me some advice about knowing if it's "meant to be?" I don't know where to look and I can't find a definite answer if there is one. I really, really like him and he's a great person to be around, but we both just need some answers right now.

Thanks everybody who reads/replies

Athanasius
Oct 24th 2008, 04:54 AM
Here's the thing: there's really no where in the Bible that says "You're meant to be with this one person!" As far as Biblical relationship advice goes... You really have 2 Corinthians 6:14 (don't date unbelievers) and the rest pertain to marriage (Ephesians 5 and so forth). I'm not saying that God isn't going to tell you, "Hey, I've planned for this person..." At the same time, though, chances are He won't.

You're a month into your relationship, don't worry if you're "meant to be together". Pray about it, if God isn't saying anything one way or another then give the relationship your best shot. If it works out in the end, then I'd say you were meant to be together. Unfortunately I think we tend to super-spiritualize everything and it does more harm (your question and the concerns of you both) than good. It's great that you're wanting to follow God's leading, but God isn't going to give you direction on every single thing you do - some times it's just our choice.

Here's a question: how old are the two of you?

jlmccub2009
Oct 24th 2008, 05:07 AM
I'm 17 and he's 16...I know, we're young...

thanks for your help...we basically decided to just see how things go, so it's nice to see that other people are saying the same thing.

Athanasius
Oct 24th 2008, 05:13 AM
I'm 17 and he's 16...I know, we're young...

thanks for your help...we basically decided to just see how things go, so it's nice to see that other people are saying the same thing.

Well hey now, I never said you were young. When I was 17 I got into a relationship with a girl who was 16, it lasted for just over three years. Ended when I was 20 and she was 19. We made a lot of stupid choices, mind you.

Just see how it goes... You might think it must easier when God says, 'This girl/guy is for you'. But I'll tell you from [very recent] experience, it's not.

Godisnumber1
Oct 24th 2008, 05:21 AM
hi!

i was in a 3 1/2 year relationship when i was 14-17. i really thought we weren't meant to be, but God had a different plan.

just trust Him, and pray about it.

let God write your love story :)

God bless,
logan :cool:

renthead188
Oct 24th 2008, 06:41 AM
hi!

i was in a 3 1/2 year relationship when i was 14-17. i really thought we weren't meant to be, but God had a different plan.

just trust Him, and pray about it.

let God write your love story :)

God bless,
logan :cool:

I'm only 20 myself, so we're very close in age. While I was in my junior year of high school I dated a sophmore. We stayed together for a year (thinking we were going to last forever) and then dated awkwardly for another year. My first year of college we were building up a friendship again. I became a Christian at the beginning of my second year of college. I am now in my third year and God is using me to tell her about Himself.

We made some stupid choices in high school. God is using it for good years later by letting me tell her about how great He is. God has plans beyond what we can imagine, He may very well purpose for you to be close with this guy, for reasons that you can't even comprehend. You might be there to witness to his sister or something, or maybe because his best friend has qualities that could benefit you and God wants you to learn them. Who knows? Only God.

Ask Him to show you His intention for having this guy in your life. Myself, I get caught up in praying "God do my will, you're faithful so please do it!" instead of "God help me to trust in YOUR will and show me what it is." That's something I struggle with.

Revinius
Oct 24th 2008, 03:30 PM
In the end, a much longer time down the track, you will get to a point where you both go: "Do i love them?" Which Biblically means: "Do i committ my life to them?". Either that answer will be yes or no, that is the purpose behind not giving ourselves over to the other completely until those questions are answered. :)

jlmccub2009
Oct 24th 2008, 10:10 PM
My sister is 19 and getting married in less than a month, so she's also a great help in that way, and I know that she's still pretty young, so I can see where some of you are coming from.


Thanks everybody, I'll keep praying about it and just seeing how things turn out.

TRL1957
Oct 24th 2008, 11:08 PM
I know in my case, my husband-to-be and I, (20 and 20) had a longterm relationship. There were ups and downs, and a 6 month breakup. When he asked me to marry him, I was afraid, due to what I'd seen at home. So I broke up with him.

I remember the night the Holy Spirit came over me. He melted away my fear and doubts. He made it so clear, that I was to marry my boyfriend. 5 months later, we were married. That was 30 years ago. We are more in love now than ever. Thanks be to God.