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LoveGod_LovePeople
Jan 17th 2009, 03:09 PM
Hi All. I was just wondering what everyone thought on the subject of when you should confess your sins to others. Should confession always be something that is between you and God? Or, if it involves someone else (even if they may not know it) do we need to confess our sin to them as well to be forgiven?

Gregg
Jan 17th 2009, 03:32 PM
I do not believe that confession to others is a condition of salvation. Accepting the blood of Jesus, his sacrifice is what allows us to live with him and the Father forever. Confessing that we are sinners and in need of a Savior is how we accept his precious gift. As far as the individual sins, Jesus knows your sins, but what a tremendously good thing it is to talk to him openly about our sins. It gives us freedom from guilt, gratitude for the gift, and humility when dealing with others.

I also believe that confessing to a mentor, 12 step sponser, or clergy is very helpful in the process of defeating and healing from signature sins and addictions. In this world we are as sick as our secrets. Now that does not mean we have to shout them from the roof tops, but it is very freeing and helpful in changing.

May God bless you on your journey.

VerticalReality
Jan 17th 2009, 05:46 PM
I don't recall the Word stating that we need to confess our "sins" to one another. It does say in James 5 that we need to confess our "trespasses" to one another, however. Trespasses and sins are two different things, IMO. When the Word is talking about trespasses I think it is in regard to us trespassing against other people. So, when you trespass against another person you need to confess it to them. Not all sin, however, is a trespass against another person.

Slug1
Jan 17th 2009, 07:05 PM
Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

VerticalReality
Jan 17th 2009, 07:15 PM
Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

If you have a stronghold or something you have/are struggling with it can certainly help to speak about it with other brothers and sisters in Christ.

Ephesians 5:11-14
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

“ Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

crystalbrite
Jan 17th 2009, 08:11 PM
I do not believe that confession to others is a condition of salvation. Accepting the blood of Jesus, his sacrifice is what allows us to live with him and the Father forever. Confessing that we are sinners and in need of a Savior is how we accept his precious gift. As far as the individual sins, Jesus knows your sins, but what a tremendously good thing it is to talk to him openly about our sins. It gives us freedom from guilt, gratitude for the gift, and humility when dealing with others.

I also believe that confessing to a mentor, 12 step sponser, or clergy is very helpful in the process of defeating and healing from signature sins and addictions. In this world we are as sick as our secrets. Now that does not mean we have to shout them from the roof tops, but it is very freeing and helpful in changing.

May God bless you on your journey.

I agree we don't need to shout our confessions from the roof tops and I don't believe we are required to confess to men. However, when confessing to God, I think is is extremely important to lay it ALL out before Him, vocally. When David confessed to God his sin with Bathsheba and setting her husband up to be killed in battle, he confessed it all openly, and without reserve. The Lord already knows our sins, so obviously the confession is not for His sake. I believe it is for our own sake to acknowledge precisely what we have done and the harm it has caused. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, some of my previous behavior has been almost unspeakable and ridden with guilt. I think laying it out before the Lord has helped me forgive myself and let God know that I take responsibility for the things I've done and the people I've hurt. In this way, we can go forward and not repeat te sin. If we hide it from ourselves by glossing it over somewhat, it's possible to repeat it if we don't look at it and confess the whole thing with all truth. Am I making sense?

crystalbrite
Jan 17th 2009, 08:17 PM
Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.

Slug1
Jan 17th 2009, 08:34 PM
If you have a stronghold or something you have/are struggling with it can certainly help to speak about it with other brothers and sisters in Christ.

Ephesians 5:11-14
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

“ Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”That's exactly what it was when I was bound with my fantasy lust... until I began to fight it with confession to others and now testimony of my freedom through Jesus Christ... it ruled for many years. Jesus also healed my relationship with my wife after putting up with me (sinning) for 20.5 of our 22 years of marriage.

Slug1
Jan 17th 2009, 08:35 PM
Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.Not if Jesus is allowed to be in control.

crystalbrite
Jan 17th 2009, 09:15 PM
Not if Jesus is allowed to be in control.

Okay, but what if the guy who was cheated on is not a believer, his feelings will not be hurt? No damage will be done by exposing the whole thing?

Gregg
Jan 17th 2009, 09:38 PM
Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.

There is a big big difference in confessing and making amends. It is only after we confess to a mentor, clergy, sponser, or counselor that we begin to make amends. We can pray and seek counsel on the ones that are going to add hurt to another.

Slug1
Jan 17th 2009, 10:14 PM
Okay, but what if the guy who was cheated on is not a believer, his feelings will not be hurt? No damage will be done by exposing the whole thing?It'll leave an open door in a spiritual sense, such a hidden sin will do that and no one will heal. Hurt may happen in the example you gave as authority is given to satan until all sin is confessed and then Jesus can step in to heal. Until then, spiritually... satan has a playground to exploit and assign as many demons as he wants to hinder the spiritual relationship all involved can/will have with Jesus.

Don't think of this in the flesh, think of it spiritually.

Believer or not (in the example)... satan will have unlimited tags in this open season of hidden sin and it's up to the sinner to end the season, or not.

crystalbrite
Jan 18th 2009, 01:26 AM
It'll leave an open door in a spiritual sense, such a hidden sin will do that and no one will heal. Hurt may happen in the example you gave as authority is given to satan until all sin is confessed and then Jesus can step in to heal. Until then, spiritually... satan has a playground to exploit and assign as many demons as he wants to hinder the spiritual relationship all involved can/will have with Jesus.

Don't think of this in the flesh, think of it spiritually.

Believer or not (in the example)... satan will have unlimited tags in this open season of hidden sin and it's up to the sinner to end the season, or not.

But can't we confess before the Lord and allow Him to heal the situation without burdening the one who was wronged without him knowing he has been tresspassed upon? I really have to wonder what is the good of telling him when the only result for him will be pain. I'm sure it will greatly alleviate the conscience of the one who did the wrong, but it won't make the victim feel better to know the truth. Wouldn't it just be better to go forward, sin no more, and let the victim go on being happy never knowing he's been wronged?

crystalbrite
Jan 18th 2009, 01:30 AM
There is a big big difference in confessing and making amends. It is only after we confess to a mentor, clergy, sponser, or counselor that we begin to make amends. We can pray and seek counsel on the ones that are going to add hurt to another.

Okay, so we don't necessarily need to confess to the person we tresspassed against, but we do need to seek counsel and make amends. Okay, I'm on board with that!

Slug1
Jan 18th 2009, 03:57 AM
But can't we confess before the Lord and allow Him to heal the situation without burdening the one who was wronged without him knowing he has been tresspassed upon? I really have to wonder what is the good of telling him when the only result for him will be pain. I'm sure it will greatly alleviate the conscience of the one who did the wrong, but it won't make the victim feel better to know the truth. Wouldn't it just be better to go forward, sin no more, and let the victim go on being happy never knowing he's been wronged?OK, so I'm straight... who sinned and who isn't being confessed to?

If I read this right one cheated against their spouse... the one that cheated then confesses to God, leaving the spouse unaware... correct?

The Bible says a man and women who are married is "ONE BODY". If one cheats the other is open to spiritual attack "until" the door is closed by confessing and then forgiveness is given to remove the authority satan will have until this happens. Forgiveness must be all around.

What's to stop satan from using this authority and tempt the unsuspecting spouse from cheating themselves cause God has not been able to step in and close the door once all is forgiven?

Then you have 2 who cheated without the other spouse knowing... thus the playground of an open door.

Believe me when I say that satan DOES NOT want this door closed and will do all he can to cause the cheater from ever confessing. He does this to KEEP that door open and freely work over this "one body". One may confess to God but can be stricken with guilt for as long as that door remains open. Guilt is from the enemy and it destroys, causing fear to confess to the other and thus never closing the door... allow conviction to reign and this will lead to the right choice.

Look, I'll tell you this... confession does NOT remove consequences... it only makes healing possible and this is ONLY when full confession happens.

If God is in control then their is restoration... tough in a situation with 1/2 the body, not faithful to God though.

crystalbrite
Jan 18th 2009, 04:32 AM
OK, so I'm straight... who sinned and who isn't being confessed to?

If I read this right one cheated against their spouse... the one that cheated then confesses to God, leaving the spouse unaware... correct?

The Bible says a man and women who are married is "ONE BODY". If one cheats the other is open to spiritual attack "until" the door is closed by confessing and then forgiveness is given to remove the authority satan will have until this happens. Forgiveness must be all around.

What's to stop satan from using this authority and tempt the unsuspecting spouse from cheating themselves cause God has not been able to step in and close the door once all is forgiven?

Then you have 2 who cheated without the other spouse knowing... thus the playground of an open door.

Believe me when I say that satan DOES NOT want this door closed and will do all he can to cause the cheater from ever confessing. He does this to KEEP that door open and freely work over this "one body". One may confess to God but can be stricken with guilt for as long as that door remains open. Guilt is from the enemy and it destroys, causing fear to confess to the other and thus never closing the door... allow conviction to reign and this will lead to the right choice.

Look, I'll tell you this... confession does NOT remove consequences... it only makes healing possible and this is ONLY when full confession happens.

If God is in control then their is restoration... tough in a situation with 1/2 the body, not faithful to God though.

Here's the thing. It doesn't take confessing to the person who has been wronged for God to close the door on Satan's temptations. All it takes is for the transgressor to confess fully before the Lord and declare repentance. What will the spouse who has been wronged, but doesn't know it, gain from learning of the betrayal? It actually puts him in a place of having to deal with resentment and anger. What if he is not successful in forgiving the wrong and ends up in the hotspot because of it? Isn't it just as wrong to create suffering by heaping woes upon an unsuspecting person?

Another thing. I've harmed people from 30, 40 years ago, unbeknowned to them. I've taken the matters to the Lord, confessed all, been forgiven, but have been completely out of touch with those people for decades, thus unable to confess to them personally. Does that mean the devil's playground is and has been open for business in the lives of these people all these years? I sure hope not.

And, BTW. I don't mean this any other way than with the greatest agape love and respect for you, but you should know, Satan has no authority over me whatsoever. I have authority over him. God gave that authority to me the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior and began a relationship with Him. As a born again Christian, you also have the same authority as Jesus. :pp

Slug1
Jan 18th 2009, 02:31 PM
Here's the thing. It doesn't take confessing to the person who has been wronged for God to close the door on Satan's temptations. All it takes is for the transgressor to confess fully before the Lord and declare repentance. What will the spouse who has been wronged, but doesn't know it, gain from learning of the betrayal? It actually puts him in a place of having to deal with resentment and anger. What if he is not successful in forgiving the wrong and ends up in the hotspot because of it? Isn't it just as wrong to create suffering by heaping woes upon an unsuspecting person?

Another thing. I've harmed people from 30, 40 years ago, unbeknowned to them. I've taken the matters to the Lord, confessed all, been forgiven, but have been completely out of touch with those people for decades, thus unable to confess to them personally. Does that mean the devil's playground is and has been open for business in the lives of these people all these years? I sure hope not.

And, BTW. I don't mean this any other way than with the greatest agape love and respect for you, but you should know, Satan has no authority over me whatsoever. I have authority over him. God gave that authority to me the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior and began a relationship with Him. As a born again Christian, you also have the same authority as Jesus. :ppLegal right can still be open cause of the other half of "one body" still has a door open. They may not even know it cause they don't operate in the "spirit", and understand that this is a spiritual situation giving legal right to satan.

This comes to mind: Galatians 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

When I was healed of my addiction to sexual immorality my wife was still in the playground until she was able to forgive me. This forgiveness didn't begin till I confessed it all and she was then able to close the door on her end. Was there pain, of course but this pain was now able to be offered up to God. The door is completely closed now and God's healing hand has been on our marriage. To the point our marriage is stronger now because there is no more legal right left for satan to exploit.

I also have authority over satan and when I was tempted and cast him out in the name of Jesus Christ it worked but could I help my wife, could I get satan to stop exploiting cracks in our marriage... nope. Not until the sin was in the open, forgiven all round and that door closed. Now there is nothing allowing him access to us (one body) and as I stated, our marriage is better now then it was at it's best point before because we surrendered to God and through the conviction of the Holy Spirit we allowed Him to be in control.

Dani H
Jan 18th 2009, 04:43 PM
Isn't it better to confess to your spouse and receiving forgiveness so that the two of you can stand united against further temptations?

In an adultery situation, the only thing that would keep us from confessing to our spouse as to the extent of our tresspass, if we're really honest with ourselves, is fear of not being forgiven, seeing the pain we caused them with our behavior actually displayed in front of us, and being fearful of living in discord for a period of time until issues have been addressed and settled.

In a matter of adultery, you have to work on "why did things get this far?" which is a two-sided coin and has to do with both people.

*********

Not specifically related to "how about somebody committing adultery 10 years ago?" but in general:

I believe in confession to God, and trust me, His dealings with go a lot deeper than another human being would ever require. But there can be no full and trusting relationship with another person until issues are on the table and rotten attitudes are confessed to one another. When we humble ourselves, not only before the Lord, but also before one another, and understand we've all sinned, why then would it a big deal to just open our mouth and confess, so that God can bring us into unity and strengthen us against the enemy? Because of pride, that's why. Confession requires that we humble ourselves before one another. And that's where the rubber really hits the road, doesn't it? :)

Lyndie
Jan 18th 2009, 06:16 PM
In CR we are told to ocnfess to one another, unless to do so would injure them or others. I cannot see any good coming out of a man who had an affair ten years ago telling his wife. I have done things that I confessed to God, but I won't go to the places I know these people are due to the fact it can open a whole can of worms for everyone involved. What right do I have to go mess up someone else's life?

crystalbrite
Jan 18th 2009, 10:36 PM
Isn't it better to confess to your spouse and receiving forgiveness so that the two of you can stand united against further temptations?

In an adultery situation, the only thing that would keep us from confessing to our spouse as to the extent of our tresspass, if we're really honest with ourselves, is fear of not being forgiven, seeing the pain we caused them with our behavior actually displayed in front of us, and being fearful of living in discord for a period of time until issues have been addressed and settled.

In a matter of adultery, you have to work on "why did things get this far?" which is a two-sided coin and has to do with both people.

I believe in confession to God, and trust me, His dealings with go a lot deeper than another human being would ever require. But there can be no full and trusting relationship with another person until issues are on the table and rotten attitudes are confessed to one another. When we humble ourselves, not only before the Lord, but also before one another, and understand we've all sinned, why then would it a big deal to just open our mouth and confess, so that God can bring us into unity and strengthen us against the enemy? Because of pride, that's why. Confession requires that we humble ourselves before one another. And that's where the rubber really hits the road, doesn't it? :)

I respectfully disagree with almost every thing you wrote here...and that's weird because I've read many of your posts and agree with you almost completely. But, this time you're not getting to the real meat of such a situation as the hypothetical one I've presented. It's not about one saving their pride, at least not to me, it's all about saving the innocent victim from pain they would not otherwise realize. I think the concept of "humbling" oneself at the expense of another person is in itself extremely prideful. Now, the rubber meets the road! :hmm:

Dani H
Jan 19th 2009, 12:01 AM
I respectfully disagree with almost every thing you wrote here...and that's weird because I've read many of your posts and agree with you almost completely. But, this time you're not getting to the real meat of such a situation as the hypothetical one I've presented. It's not about one saving their pride, at least not to me, it's all about saving the innocent victim from pain they would not otherwise realize. I think the concept of "humbling" oneself at the expense of another person is in itself extremely prideful. Now, the rubber meets the road! :hmm:

The last whole paragraph wasn't specifically addressed at "what if somebody cheated 10 years ago?" but rather at "let's deal with our current and more recent tresspasses and confess those to one another and support one another and seek healing and forgiveness." I guess I ought to edit to reflect that ...

crystalbrite
Jan 19th 2009, 01:02 AM
The last whole paragraph wasn't specifically addressed at "what if somebody cheated 10 years ago?" but rather at "let's deal with our current and more recent tresspasses and confess those to one another and support one another and seek healing and forgiveness." I guess I ought to edit to reflect that ...

Even that doesn't fly too well (my observation). Often the result s resentment and strife. Depending on whom you are confessing to. If confessing to a Christian, the result might eventually be different if you can appeal to them spiritually. But even then, why set a brother up for anger and resentment by revealing something he really doesn't need to know? I know my response would be something like, "Well, I'm glad you feel all better now, but how does your unloading help me? Thanks for dumping on me so I have just one more issue to come to terms with...and by the way, if I die before I am able to forgive you, do I get to spend eternity in hell because you just had to use me to get absolution for your sin?"

Slug1
Jan 19th 2009, 03:06 AM
Another thing. I've harmed people from 30, 40 years ago, unbeknowned to them. I've taken the matters to the Lord, confessed all, been forgiven, but have been completely out of touch with those people for decades, thus unable to confess to them personally. Does that mean the devil's playground is and has been open for business in the lives of these people all these years? I sure hope not.This isn't a "one body" situation. The spiritual impact isn't the same cause you are not "one" with them. Yeah, close that door and both you and them drive on with your lives but let's not mix apples with oranges. Husband and wife are "one" once married. Guilt from the enemy keeps secrets between ya's and this is satans hand to keep the marriage in open season for him to play in and exploit cracks. God cannot even begin to restore any damage until all is out in the open and then God's hand will take hold... removing satan's grip... which seems to be keeping tongues silent from telling the truth and stops the door from opening for Jesus to step through so He can close the door satan has open.

crystalbrite
Jan 19th 2009, 06:26 AM
This isn't a "one body" situation. The spiritual impact isn't the same cause you are not "one" with them. Yeah, close that door and both you and them drive on with your lives but let's not mix apples with oranges. Husband and wife are "one" once married. Guilt from the enemy keeps secrets between ya's and this is satans hand to keep the marriage in open season for him to play in and exploit cracks. God cannot even begin to restore any damage until all is out in the open and then God's hand will take hold... removing satan's grip... which seems to be keeping tongues silent from telling the truth and stops the door from opening for Jesus to step through so He can close the door satan has open.

Well, my original premise referred to a best friend revealing to his friend that he was intimate with his friend's wife. In the case of a husband and wife, you make good points because the one who has been betrayed will likely know that something is amiss and an explanation might be helpful. But, I think confessing in a situation like that has to be a judgementcall based on a clear understanding of how the injured party will take the news. Some people are very fragile and such a revelation could be extremely destructive. Gotta be careful with people's feelings.

FaithfulSheep
Jan 19th 2009, 01:45 PM
I am reopening this thread and moving it to Bible Chat. Continue your discussions. :)

Gregg
Jan 19th 2009, 01:49 PM
I am reopening this thread and moving it to Bible Chat. Continue your discussions. :)


You are faster than Houdini!:D

wtj
Jan 19th 2009, 09:23 PM
T0 the man of God with the Spirit of God it is given that he has power to remit sins or to curse - Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained. John 20:23

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

For confessing sins to the man of God with the Spirit of God is as confessing to God himself for the Spirit of God is within Him. He has power to forgive your sins or to heal you.

To confess sins to someone who has not the Holy Spirit of God is not scriptural.

crystalbrite
Jan 19th 2009, 10:01 PM
T0 the man of God with the Spirit of God it is given that he has power to remit sins or to curse - Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained. John 20:23

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

For confessing sins to the man of God with the Spirit of God is as confessing to God himself for the Spirit of God is within Him. He has power to forgive your sins or to heal you.

To confess sins to someone who has not the Holy Spirit of God is not scriptural.

That's what I think too. If you confess to someone who does not have the Holy Spirit, a lot of damage can be done. Even people who do have ther Holy Spirit can have a great deal of difficulty with bad news. I'm just wondering if it is really necessary to chance hurting someone, Christian or unbeliever, for the sake of getting it off one's chest? Is that not a selfish thing to do?

chad
Jan 19th 2009, 11:31 PM
I think this is a good question.

If we confess our sins to others, then what is the purpose of confessing your sins to them? If it is to gain forgivess or for purposes of reconciliation, then it is probably a good idea.

If it is for the forgiveness of sins, shouldn't we be confessing it to Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins. In Hebrews it says he is our high priest, whom intercedes for us.

What about the catholic church. Why people go to confessional to confess thier sins to a priest - and then the priest says your sins are forgiven.

Does the catholic priest even have the power to forgive sins or is he just there to help comfort the sinner and offer counselling and advice as they confess thier sins to God and ask for forgiveness.



Hi All. I was just wondering what everyone thought on the subject of when you should confess your sins to others. Should confession always be something that is between you and God? Or, if it involves someone else (even if they may not know it) do we need to confess our sin to them as well to be forgiven?