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Ashley James
Jun 10th 2009, 10:36 PM
Hi, Iam new to this site and I am also excited to see so many people on fire for the Lord. As a young christian and especially as a female, I go through many struggles and temptations more importantly those regarding my choice to remain a virgin until I am married. Even in my new walk I have already been to and visited many churches where I have been greatly fed with the word, that ultimately helps to strengthen my walk. But I have not been able to find enough churches, groups, or bible studies that talk about the importance of staying pure to our single believers with special concern for the young people, especially our young women. With the growing amount of teen preganancies as well as those having children out of wedlock, with some of those happening to some of our own brothers and sisters in Christ. I think now more than ever, it is time for the christian community to step up and to show more public support for virginity as well as providing more encouragement for the single believers and the young people to decide on a life of virginity. Not just because it is what God says but because it can initially save them a life of heartache and regret in their futures that God has already so wonderfully planned for us. I really strongly feel that as a christian community we do not talk enough about the subject. By exploring all facets of it and by creating more outlets for people to get a better understanding of why it is one of the most important things in the christian faith. I strongly believe that if we did do this we could really bring in more to Christ (concerning those that may be non-believers but are choosing to practice celibacy or abstinence) as well as encourage those who already know the importance of it to remain strong.
Be Blessed
AJ

Ayala
Jun 10th 2009, 10:47 PM
Well all I can really say is...I agree with you 100%. :P

Definitely depresses me that sex has become such a commonplace thing. And that my choice to abstain from it pre-maritally is viewed as strange from those around me.

GiL
Jun 11th 2009, 03:30 AM
I agree with you and JerAyala. It bugs me that so many people look at me strange when I make aware my choice of virginity. There are so many reasons to be a virgin:

1) God wants commands us to (until marriage of course)
2) We are to be pure (relates to number one)
3) Sex is made for marriage not for "common time" It was designed BY GOD for OUR PLEASURE.
4) Unwanted pregnancies/STD's
the list goes on...

I think the thing that bugs me most about this taboo subject is that most Christians are under the impression that sex is the worst sin imagineable and if comitted will never see heavan. I don't know if this is churches saying this or if it is opinion...but God loves us and will never let go. Too many people just think "dont" [which is fine, but they need a solid foundation so that when asked "why" they can give a legitimate answer].

If all people would remain virgins until marriage and not divorce, there would be no STD's going around and abortion clinics would have no business... God designed sex for marriage for a reason. He is omniscient and while some may think God says no sex until marriage is just for purity...it's for many more things than just that as shown by history...Waiting to marriage is much more beneficial than many teens would like to admit to.

Metalwolf
Jun 13th 2009, 01:18 AM
I agree also.

I have had people tell me that they regretted losing their virginity, or read stories where the person felt shame after the act, but this truth is not mentioned enough in public. I think people are under a myth that losing it is 'good,' and never hear about how many real people feel regret afterwards...

coldfire136
Jun 13th 2009, 10:20 PM
Originally Posted by GIL

I agree with you and JerAyala. It bugs me that so many people look at me strange when I make aware my choice of virginity. There are so many reasons to be a virgin:

1) God wants commands us to (until marriage of course)

Not to disagree, but I really am curious. Where does God command this?

Ashley James
Jun 13th 2009, 10:58 PM
In the Bible there is no actual cut and dry example of God saying that sex is reserved for marriage, but like most things in his word the more we study it the more wisdom we recieve to understand what is being said. In other words we read between the lines. When a man is joined together with his wife, according to the word, they are one flesh. When God says they are one flesh he is making reference to marriage.
Genesis 2:24 ESV
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

For example, in this next verse found in 1Corinthians, God describes a man who chooses to lay down with a prostitute, God already suggests that he will be or is married to this prostitute. "The two will become one flesh..."

1 Corinthians 6:1-20 ESV
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” ...



1 Corinthians 7:1-40 ESV
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...

Our bodies are to be kept clean for the Lord so that we can better serve him and be better examples of him. When we choose to sleep with someone we should no doubt be in love with them whole hardedly (usually that means we make the commitment to be with them forever in marriage). Constantly sleeping around even if we are in love with these people is sexual immorality and God does specifically forbid it in his word.

coldfire136
Jun 14th 2009, 03:21 AM
Hi Ashley,
Thanks for your comments, but your answers seem to be a bit "open-ended." For instance, you said:


When we choose to sleep with someone we should no doubt be in love with them whole hardedly (usually that means we make the commitment to be with them forever in marriage). Constantly sleeping around even if we are in love with these people is sexual immorality and God does specifically forbid it in his word.

From your words, I get the impression that the command is to love and commit to the person I have sex with (in the positive) rather than the negative command to not have sex until marriage. Are you saying there are instances when a person could love a person and have sex outside of marriage in a committed relationship?

PictCry
Jun 14th 2009, 04:06 AM
A very wise person and someone I am very fond of once told me this...A relationship with sex without the marriage covenant has no future in it.

Ashley James
Jun 15th 2009, 01:47 AM
I feel the word really speaks for itself. The more we read the more wisdom we will gain as young people. I totally agree with PictCry, if we want to do things the right way we will and must wait till marriage. Its something that we know we should do if we want to please God; whether he makes it plain to us or not. I feel that its there we just have to get more into our word.

spinningisfun9
Jun 16th 2009, 08:28 AM
I agree with you wholeheartedly Ashley.
It seems that quite often in the church too little is given too late on the subject of virginity. God's intended purpose was for us to have only one partner, for life, and for the relationship we have with that person to glorify Him.

"The two shall become one flesh."

This verse is enough for me, it clearly states that one man and one woman shall join together. It doesn't say they shall become one with another as well as many others.

I think that one of the biggest problems today is the disassociation of sex from marriage. Granted, marriage under the legal system has nothing to do with sex, it's just a contract and perhaps a change in the way you file taxes, but in God's eyes? I believe they are inseparable. I dislike making "sex" and "marriage" separate things; I believe that sex is what actually makes you married (not legally, of course, but in God's eyes). If we could somehow turn away from the idea that we need to "save sex for marriage" and focus more on the idea that sex is what binds you together, makes you married, it may very well help our current situation.

I don't want to be too graphic here, but when two people engage in sex for the first time, they are actually making a blood covenant. Now for anybody who has studied scripture, you know that every time the bible mentions blood it is very serious business. It seems that this fact alone should add much gravity to the act of sex, and saving yourself so that you may be pure for your spouse. Another thing to look at is what naturally comes from sex, that being children. That is another act of commitment (or at least it was until effective birth control was invented...), the fact that there is now a child who is the offspring of two people, and who is now their responsibility.

Hmmm... I've written a ton here, forgive my lengthy post. But this is something I feel very strongly about, so I hope it was worth reading. ;)

Henry
Jun 16th 2009, 11:40 AM
Ashley

The only logical reason that stands out is that marriage is a blood covenant between you and your future husband. Everywhere in the Bible when a blood covenant is made, blood is shed. If you study this you will see that marriage is a covenant and the covenant in marriage is a type of the covenant between God/Christ and His bride, the church.

The consummation of the marriage is one - albeit an important step in the cutting of the covenant between two marriage partners. Now, if the hymen has already been pierced, where will the blood come from to "cut the covenant"? I hope this makes sense to you. :D

I have studied this in some detail and if you pm me your email address, I will send you a summary of it.

Cheers

Henry

Metalwolf
Jun 19th 2009, 11:38 PM
Something I have a question about in regards to something brought up in this thread:
Does having sex with someone mean that you are married to them? That is, if you are not legally wed, but you have slept with someone, you are married to them now? I am confused... :confused

Henry
Jun 20th 2009, 07:53 PM
Something I have a question about in regards to something brought up in this thread:
Does having sex with someone mean that you are married to them? That is, if you are not legally wed, but you have slept with someone, you are married to them now? I am confused... :confused


No you are not. There was no covenant ceremony.

Metalwolf
Jun 21st 2009, 09:06 AM
No you are not. There was no covenant ceremony.Ah, thank you :)

spinningisfun9
Jun 25th 2009, 03:46 AM
No you are not. There was no covenant ceremony.

Did Adam and Eve have some kind of covenant ceremony besides sex?
I'd like to hear your reasoning behind your statement, if you would.

Ayala
Jun 25th 2009, 04:39 AM
God brought them together. He made Eve for Adam.

Revinius
Jun 25th 2009, 05:23 AM
Ashley - God is the only reason to do anything - i think ultimately the "screw your life up" argument falls by the way side when it is eclipsed by the singular desire towards Christ.

spinningisfun9
Jun 25th 2009, 11:55 PM
God brought them together. He made Eve for Adam.

True, but I am just curious as to where the idea of a covenant ceremony having to take place for two people to be wed came from. In scripture it seems to me that sex is the covenant ceremony. God never commanded to have a special public ceremony, did He? Correct me if I am wrong.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
-Genesis 2:24

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
-1 Corinthians 6:15-16

It seems to me that to have intercourse to that person is to be wed to them, to become one in body, one flesh. If there is something else in scripture which disproves what I think, I would very much like to know!

Revinius
Jun 30th 2009, 08:05 AM
True, but I am just curious as to where the idea of a covenant ceremony having to take place for two people to be wed came from. In scripture it seems to me that sex is the covenant ceremony. God never commanded to have a special public ceremony, did He? Correct me if I am wrong.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
-Genesis 2:24

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
-1 Corinthians 6:15-16

It seems to me that to have intercourse to that person is to be wed to them, to become one in body, one flesh. If there is something else in scripture which disproves what I think, I would very much like to know!

Is there no distinction then between fornication (pornea) and marriage?

spinningisfun9
Jul 18th 2009, 07:05 AM
That is a good point, and something I have wondered about. But hasn't the meaning of the word pornea (or porneia) been somewhat debated? I have heard that it has been translated as adultery and idolatry, and not simply fornication. The word fornication isn't even used in some translations.

But moving on from that... I would have to say that I believe fornication is simply another form of adultery. If God intends for us to have one spouse, and one sexual partner, then anything outside of that would be adultery. Jesus said that lusting after a woman is the same as committing adultery with her in a man's heart. I believe that was meant for all men, and not just the married ones. If lusting after a woman in one's heart is the same as adultery, then wouldn't having sex with someone whom you have no intention to be bound to for life be another form of adultery?

Edit:
Forgive me for responding to this so long after it was posted, things have been pretty busy lately.

lovex
Aug 5th 2009, 11:09 PM
I love this post. I agree with you 100%!!!

Gods Creation
Aug 12th 2009, 06:56 AM
Bible seems to speak pretty clearly about premarital sex as far as I am concerned, regardless of how the word pornea may have been used in the Bible:

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." - (1 Corinthians 7:1-2, KJV)I am not sure how this verse could be confusing. Please let me know if someone sees this verse as referring to something other than premarital sex.

Nick J
Aug 13th 2009, 05:20 PM
Not to get off topic but another reason why God might've meant for sex to be exclusive to marriage is that it can be addictive. The reason i say that is cause a lot of people i know tell me how that want to stop but once they lost their virginity that went back for more. Keep in mind, none of these people are married. So in addition to std's and that its a sin against your body and God (if you're arent married of course), i think sex can be addictive to some people and they become slaves to that sin.

quasar
Aug 18th 2009, 02:33 PM
I'm not sure if this is what you are getting at but do you mean that the emphasis on virginity stops after high school? There was so much talk of abstinence and I even signed an abstinence form but when I got to college there was none of that! I went to a Catholic school for college and there was literally almost no talk of virginity - actually there was a family and sexuality class.

I just think that once you are out of high school they drop the topic and that's just not the ideal situation. If it's important to remain a virgin in high school, it's also important to maintain that purity in your 20s and even 30s if you do not have a partner. It's a value and values doesn't (and shouldn't) have age limits.

magicale
Aug 18th 2009, 04:02 PM
i personally felt that it is important to remain as a virgin until you are married. therefore, should you die unmarried, you should die as a virgin as well.