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magicale
Aug 18th 2009, 03:40 PM
hey.
im new here. but i am actually desperately finding a place to confine my problems and worries. so here it is.

due to 3 rejection over a period of 4 years. my first rejection was due to my young and foolishness at the age of 15-16. my next rejection was due to prevent myself from steping over a line where i know i would be devestated. so i confessed so i could get reject so i can get over the girl. and move on in my spiritual life for it is hindered me. i found myself afraid to get close to another female. to be graphical, it is as if being close to them brings back my memory of reject and pain once more. this usually happen to female whom are around my age.

however, as much as i want to prevent it. i fell in love with another sister in Christ whom i have know since young. determine to not have any though about going after her. i find myself sinking deeper in love for that sister. but i was able to "restrain" myself as i constantly remind myself to place God first. due to my personality and recent problems, my cell group was concerned for me. that sister in Christ went to care for me. but somehow, the entire conversation lead to BGR problem and she has discovered that i was interested in her. things became rather difficult for me as i find myself angry at that sister. even as i told her that i do not want to reveal the name, over the course of the conversation she still insisted guessing that mysterious girl.

it had only happen recently and somehow, i had the mixture of sadness and rage filled in me. whenever i saw that sister, that night's conversation came to mind and it had clouded my judgment badly.

i am constantly praying to God that i can let go. but God seemed to replied with this. "this is not over yet. the reason you are feeling this is that you are unable to place the burden down. you will need to clarify with the sister again edmund." but all things need to be in hte correct time. any feedback or comment would be helpful. sorry that this has became such a long post.

decrumpit
Aug 19th 2009, 04:19 AM
hey.
im new here. but i am actually desperately finding a place to confine my problems and worries. so here it is.

due to 3 rejection over a period of 4 years. my first rejection was due to my young and foolishness at the age of 15-16. my next rejection was due to prevent myself from steping over a line where i know i would be devestated. so i confessed so i could get reject so i can get over the girl. and move on in my spiritual life for it is hindered me. i found myself afraid to get close to another female. to be graphical, it is as if being close to them brings back my memory of reject and pain once more. this usually happen to female whom are around my age.

however, as much as i want to prevent it. i fell in love with another sister in Christ whom i have know since young. determine to not have any though about going after her. i find myself sinking deeper in love for that sister. but i was able to "restrain" myself as i constantly remind myself to place God first. due to my personality and recent problems, my cell group was concerned for me. that sister in Christ went to care for me. but somehow, the entire conversation lead to BGR problem and she has discovered that i was interested in her. things became rather difficult for me as i find myself angry at that sister. even as i told her that i do not want to reveal the name, over the course of the conversation she still insisted guessing that mysterious girl.

it had only happen recently and somehow, i had the mixture of sadness and rage filled in me. whenever i saw that sister, that night's conversation came to mind and it had clouded my judgment badly.

i am constantly praying to God that i can let go. but God seemed to replied with this. "this is not over yet. the reason you are feeling this is that you are unable to place the burden down. you will need to clarify with the sister again edmund." but all things need to be in hte correct time. any feedback or comment would be helpful. sorry that this has became such a long post.

Well, I'll give this a shot. It looks like you're obsessing over a woman. To be honest, most women can't stand this kind of stuff. As hard as this sounds, you should be up front with a woman. If you like her, you should talk to her, get to know her, and see if shes interested in you (like she texts you, calls you, etc.) If not, if its not working.... just forget it and let go. There will ALWAYS be others.

magicale
Aug 19th 2009, 08:16 AM
im not obsess with women actually. im just afraid to be in love with another sister.

Francois Marais
Aug 19th 2009, 06:53 PM
I have the same problem here. With loads of rejections, hurt caused by a girl that I loved (but she did not love me as much as to be with a multitude of other men) I now had a problem to love as I could not trust anyone anymore.

But I had to rely on God for healing. I asked God to show me what I lack and he showed me that I lack trust and love.

Trust on God that the sister in Christ will not hurt you! Trust on God for all. I know God is going to provide me with a dream girl soon and I can't wait for that day (I asked God to choose the perfect girl for me as I always make an error if I choose)

WonderWoman4Jesus
Aug 19th 2009, 07:05 PM
Let me say this, I could write the book on rejection. I have been rejected so many times I really should have a built in airbag system. Seriously, men have rejected me time and time again. I built up walls so no one could hurt me. The downside is that no one can love you either. Rejection is very rough and very hard, but remember, you can heal. First of all, if you like her, let her know. Yes, the possibility of rejection is there. If it happens, then it's okay to feel hurt for a while. Go and be nice to yourself. However, please don't go into depression like I did. I felt useless, worthless, and like I was not attractive.

Friend of Jesus
Aug 19th 2009, 08:33 PM
Sounds like you've been wounded and lied to by the enemy. Probably the case is when you've been rejected in the past, Satan said something like "you'll always be rejected, no one would want to be with you" (although you would have felt as though it was your own thoughts) and you agreed with him, thinking "yeah that's right". Because you feel like this is the truth, you will continue to fear rejection and be afraid to love.

You need to break that agreement with the enemy by declaring the truth over your life. Speak out loud how the Father does not reject you, Jesus did not reject you but he wanted relationship with you. Once you realise your position in Christ, you will not fear rejection.

magicale
Nov 29th 2009, 03:30 PM
Hey. i know its been long since i last reply. but thanks for the kind encouragement that you peple have given me. currently i feel a lot better and that facing with that sister has been easier. however it still feels like a thorn in me.

thank you once again for your kind words

bambu420
Nov 29th 2009, 03:43 PM
I don't want to recommend this but, this is from my experience.I've been in a very similar boat.What set me free was, letting go of my fear of rejection, and loving with my all.I applied non-romantic love in my case, and it seems to work better than striving for a romantic reaction.Talk to her and get to know her first.Contrary to what some people say in here, I would not recommend "spilling the beans" and declaring my feelings so to speak: it spokes women out.lol

Athanasius
Nov 29th 2009, 04:08 PM
C.S. Lewis said it like this, and it was never said truer:


To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.