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Equipped_4_Love
Apr 20th 2010, 01:02 AM
As most of you know, I work as a maintenance technician on industrial equipment, and it is a pretty dirty job. Many days, when i get off of work, I am just filthy, so I don't really like to go anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary.

Today was one of those days. It was a rough day at work, and by the end of the day, I had dust and grease on my shirt. I didn't even realize how dirty my face was until I got home. I don't like getting grimey, but its my job. What choice do I have?

Well, when I went into the rental store to make a payment on my account, there was this guy at the counter. As soon as I walked in, the guy looks at me, then kind of nods toward me while looking at his friend. His friend turns her body around to look at me (she was sitting with her back to me), and starts laughing hysterically. I didn't say anything, but I was really bummed out and embarassed.

I get up to the counter, and the guy says "oh, wow, you're a hard worker," and starts asking me about my job. Everyone was just completely staring at me, looking all astonished. Then, after I'm done with my business, I turn around to leave, and the girl just glares at me. We make eye contact, but then when I'm just out of her view, she starts snickering.

WHY?!! What's so funny about me having dirt and grease on my clothes? It made me feel really bad, and I so badly wanted to say something to her, but I also didn't want to ruin my witness, so I just walked away, but even so, I felt so depressed. It was a rough day, and I'm tired at work, and to have another lady laugh at me because I have to work this crummy job which involves grease and hydraulic fluid...It's not humbling. It's humiliating!!!!

Even at the bank, people were totally staring at me. This one woman just sort of looked me up and down with that snobby look that people give you sometimes, and i just sort of stared back.

Why are people like this?! If it were a guy who was greay and filthy, it wouldn't be any big deal. Is it offensive to people or something?!

newinchrist4now
Apr 20th 2010, 01:17 AM
I am sorry that happened to you. It was something different so the people did that, no excuse at all though if they were snobbish about it or laughed like a hyena.

Reynolds357
Apr 20th 2010, 01:24 AM
As most of you know, I work as a maintenance technician on industrial equipment, and it is a pretty dirty job. Many days, when i get off of work, I am just filthy, so I don't really like to go anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary.

Today was one of those days. It was a rough day at work, and by the end of the day, I had dust and grease on my shirt. I didn't even realize how dirty my face was until I got home. I don't like getting grimey, but its my job. What choice do I have?

Well, when I went into the rental store to make a payment on my account, there was this guy at the counter. As soon as I walked in, the guy looks at me, then kind of nods toward me while looking at his friend. His friend turns her body around to look at me (she was sitting with her back to me), and starts laughing hysterically. I didn't say anything, but I was really bummed out and embarassed.

I get up to the counter, and the guy says "oh, wow, you're a hard worker," and starts asking me about my job. Everyone was just completely staring at me, looking all astonished. Then, after I'm done with my business, I turn around to leave, and the girl just glares at me. We make eye contact, but then when I'm just out of her view, she starts snickering.

WHY?!! What's so funny about me having dirt and grease on my clothes? It made me feel really bad, and I so badly wanted to say something to her, but I also didn't want to ruin my witness, so I just walked away, but even so, I felt so depressed. It was a rough day, and I'm tired at work, and to have another lady laugh at me because I have to work this crummy job which involves grease and hydraulic fluid...It's not humbling. It's humiliating!!!!

Even at the bank, people were totally staring at me. This one woman just sort of looked me up and down with that snobby look that people give you sometimes, and i just sort of stared back.

Why are people like this?! If it were a guy who was greay and filthy, it wouldn't be any big deal. Is it offensive to people or something?!

People are stupid is about all I can say.

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 20th 2010, 01:40 AM
People are stupid is about all I can say.

Ya, but its still disheartening

moonglow
Apr 20th 2010, 02:08 AM
I find it odd actually that people would act that way..I see dirty guys coming into the local grocery store all the time getting a few groceries. Its obvious they have been doing some hard labor job..they are dirty, tired and just want to get their stuff and go home. People around here have the highest respect for those that do physical labor and frankly I think they have a right to be proud of the work they do. Too many now are too prideful to do that kind of work and would be appalled at the idea of getting even a little dirty. If you ask me (and here goes my rant on this) because we have gotten spoiled and are unwilling to do the tough jobs we put them off on immigrants, legal or not, because too many didn't want to get dirty from hard physical labor. Then we wonder why we now have an immigrant problem...:rolleyes:

I am truly sorry you were treated this way. God knows and He knows you handled it well. You have nothing to be ashamed of and should be proud. I know people that would rather end up on the streets homeless then work if they can't get a nice office job...crazy isn't it? And one day those folks might find themselves scrubbing toilets for a living and remember you!

Hang in there. I am sure God will bless you for the restraint you showed today. :hug:

God bless

Vhayes
Apr 20th 2010, 02:09 AM
I'm sorry.
(((((HUGS)))))

You should never, ever be made to feel shame for honest grit and grime that you earned.

I have a hard time with people who treat others as outcasts due to their appearance or dress. The next time you go into the rental place, do me a huge favor. Go in your work clothes, all greasy and messy. And if the person behind the counter looks askance at you, please tell them that you have just left work. W-o-r-k. That's where you go each day to get the money M-o-n-e-y that pays THEIR wages. You know - what they use to buy their groceries comes from you.

Then smile and tell them you are glad thry are there to serve you. And mean it.

(((((HUGS)))))
V

Jeanne D
Apr 20th 2010, 02:23 AM
I wouldn't worry about what these people thought about you. They sound very ignorant.

((((hugs))))

Jeanne :hug:

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 20th 2010, 02:26 AM
Thanks for the replies, all.

Vhayes -- the people behind the counter weren't the ones who were rude, but some of the other customers.

This is probably going to come out really bad, but the girl who laughed at me...I get the sneaking suspicion that she nor anyone she was with even had a job, nor do they want one. I think you know what I'm getting at.

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 20th 2010, 02:27 AM
I wouldn't worry about what these people thought about you. They sound very ignorant.

((((hugs))))

Jeanne :hug:

Why do people do that?! What do you mean they are ignorant?

Vhayes
Apr 20th 2010, 02:30 AM
Then it's the need to feel superior. You won't fix it, nor will I. it's endemic in human nature.

Thank God that you have a job, smile and know that what you have, you have by the grace of God and someday, when you have plenty, you will willingly share with others - God sees and knows the hurts. He also heals them completely.
V

Amos_with_goats
Apr 20th 2010, 02:37 AM
I hope you don't mind me saying this but;

I am sorry that you were made to feel uncomfortable.

I am honored to be able to offer encouragement. Our society honors foolish petty things like appearance over truly honorable things like integrity and hard work that I am blessed to be able to offer you encouragement.

Blessings to you sister. :hug:

Scooby_Snacks
Apr 20th 2010, 02:43 AM
I used to be a mechanic too. I made really good money back then, so the grime and dirt was worth it...plus, I was good at it.
Having full time work and actually working is something many people have no concept of.
I do pray you see the importance of the skills that you have and wear that grease with confidence...its an annointing of a humble soul with steady hands.

Usually when something like what you mentioned happens to me..I eventually figure out those people need prayer, because I know in order to forgive them that I end up praying for them. God works in mysterious ways against the enemy of this world.

Dani H
Apr 20th 2010, 02:44 AM
Next time, look them straight in the face and ask them what's so funny. Smile real big when you ask. Not a fake smile either. Just a friendly, open, unthreatening smile.

Seriously. Do it. It's important.

Jeanne D
Apr 20th 2010, 02:45 AM
Why do people do that?! What do you mean they are ignorant?

Well they were laughing at you because you were dirty, BUT they had no idea why.. thus they were ignorant about it.

Personally I admire you for what you do, and honestly, I don't know what's funny about a woman being dirty. If it was me, and I saw you , I'd assume it was for a good reason.

Jeanne :hug:

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 20th 2010, 03:09 AM
Next time, look them straight in the face and ask them what's so funny. Smile real big when you ask. Not a fake smile either. Just a friendly, open, unthreatening smile.

Seriously. Do it. It's important.

Thanks, Dani....I wish I could. I have no backbone, though. Guaranteed she would have done one of two things: Try to start trouble, or laugh at me even more.

Brother Mark
Apr 20th 2010, 10:30 AM
Hi Welder. Sorry you went through all that. It never feels good to feel rejected. Our biggest need is tied up in acceptance.

Just a few, out of the box thoughts...

Here's an example for illustration purposes.... Suppose you were in an elevator and felt someone kick you intentionally and hard in the back of the leg. Most of us would be angry at that moment! But when we turn around and see an elderly blind woman had fallen and her cane was what hit us, our anger turns to pity. Why? Because we began to realize the truth of the matter and the truth, overruled our assumptions and our emotions changed.

The reality is, a person's sin hurts them more than it hurts us (in the long run). Even if your assumptions are right about what they were doing, their sin will send them to hell unless they repent! They are blinded by their sin. They are deceived in so many ways. They are behaving like lost people behave. And the enemy used it to attack you and hurt you in your heart.

No one likes to be made fun of. But don't let the enemy continue to accuse you through the thoughts he will bring your way about the actions of others and what they mean.

Anyway, just throwing that out there for consideration.

Grace to you,

Mark

miepie
Apr 20th 2010, 10:33 AM
I'm sorry you were treated this way....... :hug: Being in a big wheelchair I know how it feels to have people staring at you, which isn't laughing but is just as bad...... I hate going out in the thing..... if I didn't like being out so much, I'd never go out in that wheelchair again....... I like being in my wheelchair in the hospital...... because there I just fit in with the other wheelchairs and I like that...... it doesn't matter that people stare at you, because they do it to all the younger people in wheelchairs.......

I have no backbone there either....... I wish I had so I could comment on the staring....... but I can't....... I'm probably too friendly for that...... :hmm: And I think so are you! :hug: I'll send you a nice card this week to cheer you up, ok? :hug:

Love you lots,
Mieke :kiss:

Sea Pony
Apr 20th 2010, 03:41 PM
I used to be a Deck Hand in the Navy. I did some of the dirtiest jobs you can imagine aboard ship. One time I came home filthy and so exhausted. My wife cleaned my hands with acetone (oil based paint...) for an hour. There were not too many days that went by when people, my shipmates, would ask, "what did you do?" The work I was doind was so disdainful to them that they thought I was being punished.

Long story short, I know exactly how you feel. There was nothing I could say or do to make it right. Like so many other situations in my life, there was only one way to get victory; through forgiveness. It may not seem very satisfying...but it is true.

A point that might help you forgive: A lot of the people that I have observed looking down on others have never been in the shoes of the person they are disdaining. Those people that laughed have certainly never had the type of job you have. They do not have the benefit of enough life experience to help them understand the honor in what you are doing. So forgive them, because they don't realize what they have done.

This certainly does not diminish their cruelty in any way. But imagine how they will feel a few years from now if they are lucky enough to have gained more perspective. Do you think they will be proud of this part of their story? More importantly, will you be proud of how you handled this part of your story? I think you will! Not so sure about them.

God Bless you and heal your hurt.

Firefighter
Apr 20th 2010, 04:32 PM
Looking and even laughing at others is usually a great way of not having to look at one's own self... ;)

Frecs
Apr 20th 2010, 04:44 PM
Welder,

I'm sorry you were made to feel bad about yourself. It's not nice of people to do that. I've had many years, starting in childhood, to deal with the cruel words, looks, and even physical attacks of others who wanted to make me feel worthless and themselves feel superior. I know the pain and humilitation that you felt at that moment with their laughter ringing in your ears.

The thing is...our worth isn't determined by them. Our value is set by God and He says we are highly valuable and worthy of the greatest sacrifice. Know who you are in Christ and then ask God to give you the ability to see them through His eyes. Pray for them.

And, in the words of my mother: "Hold your head up! You have nothing to be ashamed of!"

moonglow
Apr 20th 2010, 05:53 PM
Well one thing..after reading this and others experiences I feel less self conscious about going out today in a short sleeved shirt that will expose my arms which are covered in dozens and dozens of nicks, small cuts and bruises from the yard work I did over the weekend. My right arm is especially bad since I am right handed and was using it the most.

I was reaching into my lilac bushes and pulling out and breaking dead branches and trying very carefully not to hurt the good ones with leaves on them. I had no idea I was getting scratched up that badly either. I have seen many people including myself dirty from either work or yard work run into stores to get more of whatever they were working on and that never bothered me. Around here being dirty from work is a good thing...but this is a little embarrassing.
But not so much anymore after reading all of this...;)

God bless

lovex
Apr 20th 2010, 06:18 PM
Don't get down, my dear friend. Jesus was ridiculed all the time..during times of discomfort like this one, just remember, God doesn't look at the appearance, He looks at the heart.

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 21st 2010, 01:12 AM
Hey, there. I just want to thank everyone for the encouragement. You really blessed me, all of you, as you always do.

Love and blessings
April

Equipped_4_Love
Apr 21st 2010, 01:15 AM
I'm sorry you were treated this way....... :hug: Being in a big wheelchair I know how it feels to have people staring at you, which isn't laughing but is just as bad...... I hate going out in the thing..... if I didn't like being out so much, I'd never go out in that wheelchair again....... I like being in my wheelchair in the hospital...... because there I just fit in with the other wheelchairs and I like that...... it doesn't matter that people stare at you, because they do it to all the younger people in wheelchairs.......

I have no backbone there either....... I wish I had so I could comment on the staring....... but I can't....... I'm probably too friendly for that...... :hmm: And I think so are you! :hug: I'll send you a nice card this week to cheer you up, ok? :hug:

Love you lots,
Mieke :kiss:

Meike, your cards always cheer me up. Thank you. You are such a blessing :)

Thanks also for sharing. I guess people will always stare at what they really don't understand or know, but still, it is uncomfortable.

beachbum53
Apr 21st 2010, 01:27 AM
Aww just reading everyone's notes; you guys are the best :)......And so right...nothing to add from what all said here.....((HUGS))

Dani H
Apr 21st 2010, 07:35 PM
Thanks, Dani....I wish I could. I have no backbone, though. Guaranteed she would have done one of two things: Try to start trouble, or laugh at me even more.

Would it help if I told you that usually, the only reason people laugh at people is to avoid getting lauged at by others first?

Being openly friendly removes the threat and puts everyone on the same level, consciously and on purpose.

So instead of shrinking next time, take control and be friendly and greet people and ignore the snickering because it don't matter. They're just as intimidated as you. They're just tring to deflect attention from themselves, is all. I'm here to tell you.

Got nothing to do with backbone. Got everything to do with understanding that everyone isn't so different from ourselves.

So maybe instead of asking what they're laughing at, broach a different subject. Poke a little fun at yourself. Tell them you're there to sweep their chimney or whatever you can come up with. Turn the laughing at into laughing with. :)

Oh, that reminds me of a story: We had a young man from El Salvador live with us for a few years. He had lost his legs when he was a little boy. He was used to his prostheses and didn't care who saw them. So this one time, he was at the beach, and noticed this lady staring at him. His response was to take off both his legs and sit them next to himself and smile real big at her. To which she turned beet red and walked away. Because that's the last thing she expected. For some reason, people expect people with disabilities and fake body parts to be self-conscious and timid. As if they were less of a person, or whatever. I mean, seriously, what's up with that ?! You're just one accident away from a wheelchair yourself, so what gives?

So what you're dirty after working a hard day? Least you got a job. Who cares? Be thankful and spread some cheer around and show them your smile and your sense of humor. They'll soon forget about the little bit of dirt on your face.

Reynolds357
Apr 21st 2010, 08:05 PM
Ya, but its still disheartening

I will just tell you something I learned a long time ago, "I do not give a flip what other people think." I go to town in my nasty work clothes with grease and dust all over me and I do not care if people like it or not. If people judge you based on the fact that you do maintenance work, then I would not value their opinion too much.

Beckrl
Apr 22nd 2010, 12:58 AM
Hi Welder
I work with a lady that can and do out work the men in her area of work, She is always telling me that they just don't want to work hard. So first I think it show great character of you. Hard work which most don't do nor understand. Actually, the next time you stop in your nasty work clothes keep your head up and know that you are pleasing in the sight of God. You then will have the last laugh.

It reminds me of Ruth in some ways, Ruth refuses to abandon the care of her widowed mother-in-law, even when her mother-in-law gives her a gracious out. Ruth follows her mother-in-law back to Bethlehem where she works among the gleaners. This was a rough, rowdy group of mostly men who did backbreaking labor in the hopes of scraping up enough to feed their family. Through her many ordeals, Ruth remains a quiet, hard-working, dignified young woman who eventually catches the eye of a prominent man.

jerome braud
Apr 29th 2010, 03:35 PM
welll brother I too am a welder/pipefitter. I have done some NASTY jobs in refineries, chem plants, shipyards, etc. I too have had those kinds of looks after long hard days, copper nickel pipe when cut makes a green dust and you leave work looking like a martian. The laughter you heard was the mouths of ignorant fools not recognizing that work is good for the soul, and not all work is clean. The girl who got under your craw most probably sits at a desk and types all day, but wouldn't know which end of a shovel to grab to plant a garden. When he was preparing to eat the Passover meal with his disciples Jesus washed their feet, the duty of a poor dirty servant girl.

TexasBeliever
Apr 29th 2010, 06:04 PM
What Reynolds357 said! And just let me add, I've worked dirty jobs before and I loved it WAY more that messing with my hair and makeup and clothes every day!
With the dirty jobs, I slept better, ate food with gusto, (knowing that I earned every calorie) and really felt like I DID something for the day.
I enjoyed getting the side-ways looks. Call me crazy, LOL.

Radagast
Apr 30th 2010, 01:10 AM
Well, when I went into the rental store to make a payment on my account, there was this guy at the counter. As soon as I walked in, the guy looks at me, then kind of nods toward me while looking at his friend. His friend turns her body around to look at me (she was sitting with her back to me), and starts laughing hysterically. I didn't say anything, but I was really bummed out and embarassed.

I get up to the counter, and the guy says "oh, wow, you're a hard worker," and starts asking me about my job. Everyone was just completely staring at me, looking all astonished. Then, after I'm done with my business, I turn around to leave, and the girl just glares at me. We make eye contact, but then when I'm just out of her view, she starts snickering.

The interesting thing about your story is that it sounds like the guy's reaction was one of respect.

Which means that the girl may have felt threatened.

Gillian
Apr 30th 2010, 10:31 AM
Why are people like this?! If it were a guy who was greay and filthy, it wouldn't be any big deal. Is it offensive to people or something?!

good you stare back! there alway some heartless people who think nothing of laugh out loud. try not to take it to heart. I have people I knew think Im dumb, said to my face. ever I know it Im appear so (due to memory lack of oxgyen incdents twice over) the fact im not a talkactive person make it appear worse on first impressions. funny thing despite that I never get upset or take to heart. in fact I trivil ('misspell) on my appearance to some, those that dont know me, since all my family friends know better then just first impression.


is this happen why not try instead dilbreatle praise God put your mind to it straight away! to ward off the sentive feeling and you feel better. You count! never mind people. have knowing sypathay for them since they by their behaviour that telling, not that great in themslves and you better then them since you caring and blancae etc I assume!

Praise God!

Gillian

JesusMySavior
May 20th 2010, 04:19 AM
I just want to encourage you that our Lord was never of special stature or of comely attraction. Can you picture a carpenter with chapped, old hands? His face was probably dirty most of the time. People snickered at Him, there's Joseph's boy...he'll never amount to anything -

but little did they know that His Real Father was the one who gave them life. It's the same thing with you my friend. Your Father gave them life. Just pray for them and love them in spite of their weaknesses. Easier said than done, but Christ has always done that with me. :)

Lexie
Jun 4th 2010, 10:05 AM
Honey someone else said it - they have to put others down to make themselves feel superior. Sad. I can relate to what you're feeling on some level. My husband has two college degrees in education. He used them for about five years and then made the decision to go into building/construction (like his dad - it's just in his blood). He has his own company but he's not the type to just stand around and give orders to someone else - he gets out there and does the same work they do. So, he's always in work clothes and sometimes covered in dirt. People just have a very skewed opinion of people who "do manual labor". I don't understand it...........I remember years ago a coworker became engaged to a man who was a developer of subdivisions and quite well off. When she told me about her new fiance's occupation she had to justify it by saying "but he doesn't do any of the actual work". LOL and the implication of that statement would be that since he doesn't 'work' he's of a higher social standing than my husband. Sigh. All the advice I can give you is that you just have to realize people who look own on you are very insecure, even though they try to appear otherwise by putting you down.

catlover
Jun 6th 2010, 10:34 PM
I think this is the first time I've gotten on the Comfort & Encouragement thread b/c I most of the time hang out in Prayer, Bible Chat or End Times. So I'm just now reading your post. When my son was very young and I would drop him off at school, I had him say the verse "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world" (sorry I can't remember what scripture reference that is off hand). Those people are NO better than you. You are a winner who the Lord suffered and died for. Don't let them get under your skin.

Warrior4God
Jun 28th 2010, 04:34 PM
Well, what else can be said? Some people are just jerks. I'll be the first to admit I don't particularly enjoy doing things that get me all dirty and grimy. With that said, however, I wouldn't laugh at somebody just because they do something for a living that gets them messy. Some people just don't have any class.:dunno: