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MercyChild
Aug 18th 2010, 09:07 AM
One of the many questions which people are struggling with is; what does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?
People who don’t understand the process of divorce also does not always understand the deep sense of pain associated with this subject. Firstly I want to make it clear that I am in the process of divorce myself.

According to the Bible marriage is a lifetime commitment. However the Bible does give some guidance on the issue of divorce, it does not give clear step by step teaching on marriage, divorce and/or remarriage.
Many say that God hates divorce, according to Malachi 2:16“I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” The only thing that worries me is that divorce was practised in the Bible also. If the Bible acknowledged and regulated the reality of divorce, how could it be forbidden today?

The Bible does however give permissible reasons for divorce for instance sexual immorality. There is no doubt that God hates the sinfulness that caused divorce or the destructive consequences of divorce to individuals and families, but does this mean that God hates the divorcee as well?

If one decided to go through the process of divorce because of the valid reasons that was given to us in scripture, why then does one still feel as if God hated the act of divorce?

It seems like there is an everlasting debate about remarriage as I am not clear about whether the Bible allows remarriage or not, and it seems I can't find answers to this.

Does anyone have some advice, scriptures or explanations?

Son of the South
Aug 18th 2010, 10:46 AM
You are quite right, there are many things that the Bible does not spell out to us. However, we should never rely on human moral judgement, but allow God to educate us about what He wants.

David Pawson has a set of three CDs where he discusses this topic. The best advice I can offer you is to get hold of a copy and to listen to it all the way through.

AndrewBaptistFL
Aug 18th 2010, 12:22 PM
Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Luke 17:4
If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.


How many times have we been adulterous towards God? Is that not a greater mercy that He has forgiven us? In light of the grace God has given us in our salvation through Jesus, should we not forgive others (and our spouse) to the same loving and long-suffering degree as that which has been given to us?

Firefighter
Aug 18th 2010, 12:32 PM
Before you can understand what the Bible says about divorce, we must define what divorce is. Most people have no clue.

AndrewBaptistFL
Aug 18th 2010, 12:37 PM
Before you can understand what the Bible says about divorce, we must define what divorce is. Most people have no clue.

Will you please explain?

Firefighter
Aug 18th 2010, 12:46 PM
There is a HUGE difference between a writ of divorce and a divorce. A divorce is the actual breaking of the covenant, not the record of it.

Much like a murder vs death certificate.

TexUs
Aug 18th 2010, 02:08 PM
There is a HUGE difference between a writ of divorce and a divorce. A divorce is the actual breaking of the covenant, not the record of it.

Much like a murder vs death certificate.
You'd then have to define what constitutes that covenant that's any different than ceasing to be "one"... Which is no different than breaking the record of it: divorced people aren't going to continue living together. Unless you want to tie agape love into this???

Obviously two unbelievers God does not create a covenant of marriage between them. So pretty much anything goes there.
As far as legitimate divorces the Bible offers two situations...
1) Unfaithfulness
2) If the unbeliever leaves

Firefighter
Aug 18th 2010, 02:14 PM
Even the law afforded the right to leave in matters of neglect. ;)

Son of the South
Aug 18th 2010, 03:37 PM
...Obviously two unbelievers God does not create a covenant of marriage between them. So pretty much anything goes there.Is that human morality speaking, or can you show that what you say is a Biblical truth? Have a look at:
For Herod had laid hold on John, and bound him, and put him in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip's wife. For John said unto him, It is not lawful for thee to have her.
(Mat 14:3-4)It seems God has a say in any relationship, believers or not.

TexUs
Aug 18th 2010, 04:11 PM
Is that human morality speaking, or can you show that what you say is a Biblical truth? Have a look at:It seems God has a say in any relationship, believers or not.
Which law is being spoken of in Matthew though? Law of God? Or of man.

Marriage is covenant between the couple (now one) and God.
This is why when Paul says if the unbeliever wants to leave: let them. Because it is not the same as union between two believers, believers are held to the covenant standards of God hence why when you see Paul talking of this it's always between believers. Unequally yoked, etc... similar to the trinity in that it's not spelled out clearly but the ideas are there.

Butch5
Aug 19th 2010, 01:11 AM
One of the many questions which people are struggling with is; what does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?
People who dont understand the process of divorce also does not always understand the deep sense of pain associated with this subject. Firstly I want to make it clear that I am in the process of divorce myself.

According to the Bible marriage is a lifetime commitment. However the Bible does give some guidance on the issue of divorce, it does not give clear step by step teaching on marriage, divorce and/or remarriage.
Many say that God hates divorce, according to Malachi 2:16I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel. The only thing that worries me is that divorce was practised in the Bible also. If the Bible acknowledged and regulated the reality of divorce, how could it be forbidden today?

The Bible does however give permissible reasons for divorce for instance sexual immorality. There is no doubt that God hates the sinfulness that caused divorce or the destructive consequences of divorce to individuals and families, but does this mean that God hates the divorcee as well?

If one decided to go through the process of divorce because of the valid reasons that was given to us in scripture, why then does one still feel as if God hated the act of divorce?

It seems like there is an everlasting debate about remarriage as I am not clear about whether the Bible allows remarriage or not, and it seems I can't find answers to this.

Does anyone have some advice, scriptures or explanations?

I can give you a link to a site where you can get a teaching on what the Early Church understood on this matter.

http://www.scrollpublishing.com/store/product839.html?__utma=1.227811779.1257985161.1281 979692.1282180277.28&__utmb=1&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1281979692.27.7.utmccn%3D(organic)%7Cutmc sr%3Dgoogle%7Cutmctr%3Dante-nicene%2Band%2Bmp3%7Cutmcmd%3Dorganic&__utmv=-&__utmk=147080248

MercyChild
Aug 20th 2010, 10:05 AM
There is a HUGE difference between a writ of divorce and a divorce. A divorce is the actual breaking of the covenant, not the record of it.

Much like a murder vs death certificate.

I read through all the posts and still don't get what you are referring to. Perhaps I am a bit slow, can you clarify to me what you mean please?

Firefighter
Aug 20th 2010, 11:58 AM
We tend to think of divorce as the act of the legal process (getting a writ of divorcement). A divorce takes place LONG before that. The divorce takes place when the marital covenant is broken.

To further my death certificate illustration... What is immoral, murdering someone or obtaining a death certificate? The DC is merely a record of the death much like a writ of divorcement is a record of a broken covenant.

doug3
Aug 20th 2010, 10:58 PM
.......................Does anyone have some advice, scriptures or explanations


Sister my heart grieves for you. Divorce and separation are tough and take a long time to get over (some would say worse than the loss of a loved one through death; and having been through a divorce (as an unbeliever) and a recent separation, I would agree). We are blessed to have a loving God to take us through these hard times.

The subject of remarriage is one on which there is wide range of opinions. I state what I currently believe below but my advice is is not to look to people for answers because there are so many opinions out there and we are all imperfect and liable to make mistakes. By all means read, listen,watch and discuss but your only real answers to your questions will come from prayer and study of the Scripture. Look at what God says about marriage in Genesis and elsewhere. Look at what Jesus Christ says in every gospel and check what is in the epistles (especially Paul's).


Ge 2:24 AV
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (AV=KJV 1769)
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.(NIV)

Matt 19:3-9
““3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (AV)

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'*5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?*6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."*7" Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"*8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.*9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." (NIV)

God, who is Sovereign over all, created the institution of marriage; for believers and unbelievers alike. Divorce under certain circumstance was a concession given under the Mosaic Law (see Deut. 1-4).

Jesus Christ restated God's standard. Not all the people Jesus addressed in Matt 19 or in the “Sermon on the Mount” (Matt 5:27-32) were sincere believers (in fact probably very few were). which indicates that when He said “they are no longer two, but one” and “what God has joined together, let man not separate” God was applying that principle to all humans (not just believers)”. This does not mean that anyone should remain in an abusive relationship or that people will not separate but it does say [to me] that God does not want people to divorce AT ALL “except for marital unfaithfulness (fornication KJV)” [and some believe that the Lord meant only PRE-maritial unfaithfulness]. The only thing that severs the marriage bond is death of one of the spouses (Rom 7:2-3)

Remarriage to a divorced woman (if the husband is still alive) is ruled out by “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Mt 5:32 AV-KJV1769) (NIV: But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery ).

Widowed woman believers should only marry other believers (1Co 7:39)