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ahny06
Nov 3rd 2003, 09:13 PM
I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having s*x is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?

BadCat
Nov 3rd 2003, 09:19 PM
Edited by Mighty Mutt: Ages 13-25 only in this forum, please.

ahny06
Nov 3rd 2003, 09:45 PM
You're saying that doing that will severely tempt one to keep moving and pushing the envelope, which will lead to s*x? Just wanted to clarify.

SpartanII
Nov 3rd 2003, 10:42 PM
I think it's OK, IMO. As long as you still have your clothes on. If you find yourself slipping while doing this, stop.

bethany
Nov 3rd 2003, 10:52 PM
Originally posted by SpartanII
I think it's OK, IMO. As long as you still have your clothes on. If you find yourself slipping while doing this, stop.

I tend to agree with SpartanII. But it also depends whether or not you really think you and your girl/boy friend are strong enough to not go further. My mom always told me that there are some things that aren't necessarly wrong in themselves [such as this] but are wrong at certain ages, (especially since a lot of teens seem to be unable to keep their hormones under control).

bethany
Nov 3rd 2003, 10:59 PM
Oh, I forgot to say "Welcome" to you
ahny06! so, here it is:

"Welcome to the board ahny06!" :pp

May be you'd like to introduce yourself in the Introductions Forum? I'm glad to hear that you've come back to Christianity. Was there something specific that occuring in your life that changed your mind about Christianity (if you don't me asking)?

ahny06
Nov 4th 2003, 01:29 AM
Thanks for your comments. In answering your question, I would say just general quality of life issues caused me to come back. I found out I never disbelieved, and had to have a moral authority.

Mighty Mutt
Nov 4th 2003, 02:13 AM
There are two aspects to practical Christian life.

1. How we actually live and conduct ourselves as Christians.

2. How others perceive we are living based on their knowledge of our beliefs.

In this situation, you may not have "violated" part one: you just fell asleep next to each other watching a movie. A sin? Maybe not, but definitely a dangerous position to allow yourself to be in.

Part two is just as important though. How many of those guys who think you're silly for vowing virginity may know what happened? All they may know is that you two spent the night together and they are more than happy to create their own conclusions.

Therefore what may have been totally innocent can cause your witness to be damaged irrepairably in that circle of people.

Now before you say that no one else knows what happened, that is not the point. In the big picture, you have allowed yourself to be in a situation where even if your maintained your convictions, others may not believe that. And remember, we are to live above reproach!

freeslave
Nov 4th 2003, 01:42 PM
No ,we need to reserve ourselves to project a christian example.And for our spiritual walk with Christ.love from me,Kate

ViolaSnapdragon
Nov 4th 2003, 08:27 PM
Part two is just as important though. How many of those guys who think you're silly for vowing virginity may know what happened? All they may know is that you two spent the night together and they are more than happy to create their own conclusions.

Good insight, I never would have thought of that. As Christians, we are not to give off the appearance of evil, but Mighty Mutt's two cents suggest "sleeping together w/o s*x" can very well do that.

Other than that, I see not much else wrong with cuddling up on the couch fully dressed and falling asleep. My husband and I used to do that at my parents' house (we were never there alone by the way, mom or dad was always home)while we dated. Just make sure there's no temptation to take it further.

SpartanII
Nov 4th 2003, 11:42 PM
I'm surprised by the results of this poll. Most of you think it's not accepatable?? It seems to me like you're voting on what it may lead to in certain circumstances, not the act itself (which is the question of the poll).

Nicholo
Nov 5th 2003, 05:25 AM
Like the Mutt said, if it can lead to sin, don't do it. If other people get the impression of sin, don't do it. If it is truly an innocent accident, I certainly don't think anything wrong has happened, and I wouldn't come down on anyone in that situation. I would probably wonder about a couple who lived and slept together, but claimed all was entirely chaste and Biblical (I knew a couple who made this claim for 3 years before finally getting married..., very odd).

I'm not making claims about sin, only answering the question about what I thought about the issue.

life_boy
Nov 5th 2003, 07:56 PM
It may be okay but is it wise?

faithmyeyes
Nov 5th 2003, 10:45 PM
I think I'd have to say "yes" to the poll - an examination of Scripture doesn't lead me to believe that the act of an unmarried couple literally sleeping together with no s*xual intent is sinful. However, if you are a heterosexual male who can regularly cuddle up against a girl and never become even remotely aroused, you might want to consider seeing a doctor. :hmm: If, as I suspect most of us would, you do get a little turned on by this, it's time to step back and take another look. Also important is the question of your witness that Mighty Mutt addressed very well above.

Seek His kingdom and righteousness first. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Whatever you do, do for the glory of God.

God bless and guide you...

FirecrackerAdam
Nov 6th 2003, 07:41 AM
I agree with most of the other people's replies. There may be nothing technically wrong by doing this (especially if it's an accident, the way you two fell asleep watching TV, not sleeping in the same bed everynight.) but something else keeps coming to my mind. Is it wrong to kiss? Is it wrong to cuddle? I know several Christians, (mostly females) who feels this is somehow taking away ones pureness. I can't seem to find anything in the Bible that would point to some smaller physical affection as being wrong. Yet, I guess it would mainly lie in the whole 'tempation' thing. And hey, I didn't even think of the effect it would have on appearance. That was a really good call.

Tonton
Nov 6th 2003, 07:48 AM
SLEEPING is not the problem. The problem is what you do while you are awake!

I believe that, sleeping together (privately) is simply tempting fate. Sooner or later you will wake up.... (if you know what I mean)

Anton

FirecrackerAdam
Nov 6th 2003, 07:50 AM
Originally posted by Tonton
SLEEPING is not the problem. The problem is what you do while you are awake!



Anton

Lol! You summed it up perfectly! :lol:

my_stronghold
Nov 12th 2003, 11:18 AM
wow, 50% each way. i'm pretty surprised about that though. i really thought people would think of it as fine. i see [edit-AT]

Alf
Nov 12th 2003, 03:43 PM
Have to go with Anton on this one!!!Sooner or later one of you will wake up....

xSTEADFASTx
Nov 13th 2003, 11:05 PM
Disclaimer: :eek: I dont mean to come off sounding crude...

Ok...now thats out of the way...

I'am a guy...I can honestly see this ending in the guy forum...Anyhoot..aside from biblical aspects of not letting your good deeds be even spoken of; theres certain things that happen to most guies. Like someone noted before...if your a male and dont get aroused by your woman while your in such close quarters...then..wow. Not only that... [-crosses fingers- dont ban me on this] sometimes us guies well...have those mornings you know? That would kindly be embaricing to me to wake and my girl kindly see me in those matters... I personaly if it happend to me wouldnt want to make it a habit...mostly because well..I know me...and I know that I'am imperfect and that I dont need any room to possibly faulter.

-Todd[Its hard to type with crossed fingers..]

SpartanII
Nov 13th 2003, 11:20 PM
That was insightful, Neshamah!:lol:

By the way, I'm reporting you to the moderators.




































Just Kidding!:D

Mighty Mutt
Nov 14th 2003, 03:52 AM
Originally posted by SpartanII
That was insightful, Neshamah!:lol:

By the way, I'm reporting you to the moderators.


Oh believe me, we're watching this thread. :lol:

jesusfreak
Dec 3rd 2003, 05:06 AM
I know I am watchin this thread! :D

catfriedrice
Dec 3rd 2003, 06:53 PM
I think that accidental incident is ok, but actually going to bed with someone who's not your wife, with the intent in mind, well, I don't quite agree with that.

Matthew
Dec 4th 2003, 11:28 AM
If nothing happens I think it's ok. I wouldn't make it a habit though. Too tempting.

HateMeI'mLiberal
Dec 7th 2003, 06:47 AM
Ok here's the deal.

Anecdote but not really: Billy Graham, leading evangelist in the US, has an excellent policy. He is a married man.... Mr. Graham has made it his choice to never be together with only one other woman without being accompanied by other people. This is not because he thinks, "well, just in case I mess up", or "then I won't be accused of harassment" (<--ok, maybe the last one...).

In any event, the point is that he does directly avoid these situations not because he does not trust himself, but because he holds the bar high. Why live on the edge of sin, where we all know the line is extremely thin, rather than take a step back. It is a matter of lifestyle choice...

I do not think that sleeping next to the opposite sex is bad but the questions should be more along the lines of where will we set our standards. Will we set our standards right below the "sin bar"?

Perhaps this is a legalistic way of seeing the issue, but I think Mr. Graham is an excellent example. Its depressing because it would be so romantic if we could cuddle all night, but perhaps it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

In Peace,
Jules

SpartanII
Dec 7th 2003, 11:36 PM
Ok, some personal experience here: I just recently started going out with this girl. We slept in my bed together last night, nothing happened, but the let me tell you, it is VERY hard to control temptations. I would not recommend doing this.

BirdOfPray
Dec 8th 2003, 05:43 PM
I think it's just plain stupid to intentionally go to bed with someone other than your spouse. I do have a picture of three of my best friends and me (two girls, a guy and me) passed out of the floor with our heads resting on each other, but that's a little different being that it was a group of us, all relationships are purely platonic and it was in plain sight of our families. I've also fallen asleep resting against my guy friends on long youth group roadtrips, which I don't think is a problem for the reasons cited above -- in a group, platonic and with others around. BUT, I wouldn't go to bed with a guy, even if we were "just friends" and just sleeping. That's something I want to save for my husband. :saint:

theend
Dec 8th 2003, 09:14 PM
Being around new/different people and situations brings some new part of who you are, how far are you willing to go before you realize that you are capable of doing the exact same thing you vowed you would never do.

Xwinger
Dec 14th 2003, 02:07 AM
I'd say if it is an accident there is no harm done. But as has been said before, making it a habit could cause unneeded temptation what would be very hard to resist. I do like the Billy Graham example, and it could even be applied here. If you're watching a movie with a bunch of friends late at night and happen to doze off together, you can't say it presented a sinful image, because more than just you knows nothing happened.

nolewr
Dec 22nd 2003, 01:44 AM
Let's consider this another way:

If you were married and your spouse was at another person's house and fell asleep next to him/her, spending the night there, would you have a problem with it? Would it be appropriate? Would it be wrong?

I think that perhaps is the best way to go about this, since we are all to be considering ourselves as already given to the one God has prepared for us.

Alf
Dec 22nd 2003, 10:07 AM
Ok, some personal experience here: I just recently started going out with this girl.


Congrats dude!!!!!

SpartanII
Dec 22nd 2003, 11:16 AM
Read this Alf. :lol:

http://bibleforums.org/showthread.php?t=11445

Gods Creation
Dec 22nd 2003, 04:57 PM
I don't know if I should laugh at this but I was cracking up when I read that post...(sorry) :lol:

Mighty Mutt
Dec 22nd 2003, 05:05 PM
Yeah, that was pretty quick! :lol: just kiddin' buddy.

Mackenzie
Dec 29th 2003, 06:29 AM
This is the way I see it.
Most people think they can resist the temptation, so they put themselves in those situations. But then they figure out they can't resist them, until it's too late. Sleeping together in a bed may seem harmless, but I'll agree with Spartan, it's too hard to control your feelings. It's just not worth it for me. S** is not something I want to regret, and in a situation like this, I would!

Brandonr84
Dec 30th 2003, 01:08 AM
Hey everybody,
This is my first post in the teen forum, so this kinda doubles as my hello. :) I personally don't see anything wrong with it either. But, always keep a rational mind about things, this will ensure that everything in a relationship goes well. And of course, go with God, then nothing will ever go wrong.

~B

Ta-An
Dec 30th 2003, 06:52 AM
Is this just another play on words or what??

"Sleeping together" has more than one meaning for different people.



Anton and Alf both said, it is not the action of sleeping that is the problem, but that what happens when you are awake in the bed together!!!



For some the saying:"sleeping together" is actually a 'soft' way of saying..... Going all the way, so, name it.................... What do you mean by:"Sleeping together" ??



My advice is: Do not allow yourselves to be lead into temptation!! Do not give temptation a foothold in your life; you can not make it undone!





YES, I know, there is forgiveness of sins, but .......... you still suffer the consequences thereof !!

Kaley
Dec 30th 2003, 10:05 PM
Personally, I would never do it. I try to flee from temptation, and, in my mind, this would hardly be fleeing. I want to reserve many things for my spouse, and plain sleeping together (truly sleeping, not sex) is one of them.

Mackenzie
Dec 30th 2003, 11:34 PM
Personally, I would never do it. I try to flee from temptation, and, in my mind, this would hardly be fleeing. I want to reserve many things for my spouse, and plain sleeping together (truly sleeping, not sex) is one of them.

I totally agree. Just sleeping in the same bed with someone, that I cannot wait to do with my husband. I would never do this with a boyfriend. I try not to do anything that will take away from a marriage....

Ta-An
Dec 31st 2003, 02:35 PM
Jas 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

Waking up = waking up temptation............. result = death (in various forms :( )

So sleeping together when not married is OUT !!

Lastinline
Jan 16th 2004, 03:39 PM
*edited by JesusFreak you are too old for this forum.

released
Jan 20th 2004, 02:32 AM
I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having sex is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?

Hello everyone good to meet you. Hello ahny06,
about what you asked. I think that it is very unwise to be sleeping together like that. First off you are the guy and are suppose to be the protector of her. She should have never been in your room with you. Even though you two did nothing sexual you have allowed others to question her morality and in that i think you failed to protect her as you should. Also you have opened the door for your morality to be questioned. All this makes your claim to virginity questionable to others. They may not say anything to your face, but they will think it and that is what brings a bad rap on Jesus.
I have a policy if dating. Do not be alone, do not be in dark places even with others, such as being parked someplace or even at a party, stay in an upright position (no laying down together) keep your clothes on and hands off. Do this and you will protect her and remain a virgin and be a witness for the lord. Yes you will be weird, but you will also be blessed.

jesusfreak
Feb 8th 2004, 09:41 PM
I think the "Never be alone, don't touch each other at all stance" is a little harsh.

I've had girls I was just friends with in my room alone with me, we watched a movie, not really a big deal. My friends asked me "what were you doing in there" and I said "Watchin a movie" and that was the end of it, no one assumed anything because they know thats just not how I am.

I've actually had a girl spend the night in my room, in my roomates bed while he was away. Of course thats because I had to take her car keys away cause she had too much to drink, and I didn't trust some of the other guys I know enough to let her sleep in on of their rooms.

As far as the hands off I agree with you partly, I guess I am not sure how far you take that policay. Is a simple hug too much in your opinion? I am with you 100% with the clothes on rule.

cushawnb2004
Feb 8th 2004, 11:58 PM
I am ashamed and shocked at the results of this poll :B

theend
Feb 9th 2004, 02:52 AM
So many different opinions, the problem is that each one believes he or she is correct. And probably has no plans of changing his or her mind. tell me, who's opinion should i listen to? is it yours, or the guy who has no home? our opinions on life issues differ because of our experience. This is what I have to say, lets not be led by our opinions, but by the Spirit. Stay with the Word always, and you will have a Godly opinion. And if you are still confused, ask God and He will show you.

cushawnb2004
Feb 9th 2004, 03:59 PM
So many different opinions, the problem is that each one believes he or she is correct. And probably has no plans of changing his or her mind. tell me, who's opinion should i listen to? is it yours, or the guy who has no home? our opinions on life issues differ because of our experience. This is what I have to say, lets not be led by our opinions, but by the Spirit. Stay with the Word always, and you will have a Godly opinion. And if you are still confused, ask God and He will show you.

Amen.

How many others will do this though?
:rolleyes:

Shmuckboy
Feb 9th 2004, 05:36 PM
In my junior high youth group, we once had a lock in where everyone slept in the same room.

Boys slept remotely close to girls.......not directly......but we all slept in the same room.........do you consider that an abomination?

cushawnb2004
Feb 9th 2004, 06:01 PM
In my junior high youth group, we once had a lock in where everyone slept in the same room.

Boys slept remotely close to girls.......not directly......but we all slept in the same room.........do you consider that an abomination?

No, assuming that there were adults present, and boys weren't sharing the same beds with girls.

Shmuckboy
Feb 9th 2004, 06:12 PM
We all slept on the floor and there were adults present.

The question was aimed more towards the others Shawn........that's a first huh. :lol:

cushawnb2004
Feb 10th 2004, 03:22 PM
We all slept on the floor and there were adults present.

The question was aimed more towards the others Shawn........that's a first huh. :lol:

I know that :rolleyes: but this is an open forum remember :pp

cushawnb2004
Feb 10th 2004, 03:23 PM
I'm still outraged and ashamed by what this poll result shows. We are Christians here! Yet the poll makes it sound like children of the devil.

Shmuckboy
Feb 10th 2004, 08:01 PM
I'm still outraged and ashamed by what this poll result shows. We are Christians here! Yet the poll makes it sound like children of the devil.
http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/ruinkai/FIREdevil.gif


















hehe......sorry, couldn't help it.

released
Feb 11th 2004, 12:44 AM
In my junior high youth group, we once had a lock in where everyone slept in the same room.

Boys slept remotely close to girls.......not directly......but we all slept in the same room.........do you consider that an abomination?

Whoever the youth group leader was they were very un-wise. The boys should have been in another room all-together. :rolleyes:

ViolaSnapdragon
Feb 11th 2004, 08:38 PM
When I was in elementary school, the church I went used to have lock ins where both the boys and the girls slept on the floor in the same room all in our own sleeping bags. There where adults present the whole time. I see nothing wrong with it. I guess elementary age is different then Junior High age though, because in elementary school...kids of the opposite gender all have cooties :lol:

Shmuckboy
Feb 11th 2004, 10:51 PM
I personally had a couple of girlfriends at that age :cool: .........I appologize but I never thought girls were gross. So it wouldn't have made a difference what age I was.

released
Feb 12th 2004, 12:25 AM
The idea is to instill both modesty and personal pride in both the girls and boys as well as an attitude that keeps them out of each others bedrooms later on. Age is not the determining factor. If they are old enough to stay away from home in a group setting they need to be separated into different sleeping rooms.

cushawnb2004
Feb 12th 2004, 03:36 AM
Whoever the youth group leader was they were very un-wise. The boys should have been in another room all-together. :rolleyes:

Good point here.

jesusfreak
Feb 13th 2004, 04:51 AM
I think under some circumstances it is ok to sleep in the same room as members of the opposite gender.

For instance, last night I went to ohio for a funeral(I go to school in Erie PA) of a friends father. It was a good 2 hour drive to get to the funeral home and I wanted to go to the viewing last night and the burial today.

Four girls I know also wanted to go, so we all drove out together. One of the girls is from a town very close to where the funeral was, so instead of driving back to school and then back to ohio or paying for a room somewhere she offered for us to sleep over at her house.

Her family was fine with it, so they put up some air three matresses in the family room where the couches are also.

All the bedrooms upstrais were occupied by family members, and the only other places to sleep were th basement, dining room, or kitchen. So they just put me in the fmaily room too.

Everyone took either an airmatress or a couch in the room and slept there. There wasn't any big problem, no one assumed anything happend. I honestly don't see it as a big deal.


Sure there were 4 girls there with me, but they are all my friends, nothing more, and they wouldn't do anythign anyway.

I didn't feel tempted at all honestly.

released
Feb 13th 2004, 01:02 PM
I am afraid that it is easy to rational things. It is not simply about being tempted. It is about familiarity in an area that unmarried males and females should not find themselves in. Someone could have went to the basement. The male should always be the protector and he should take the discomfort on himself. We have all seen cowboy movies where a male friend comes by the ranch to visit and he for the sake of propriety stays in the barn. It is not about him being in the same room, but the same house. Long ago men of honor knew that the females name needed to be protected and went to great lengths to do so. They knew that compromise was not part of the agenda. We need to return to times when men young or old learn this. If guys learn this before marriage then they will be more apt to carry out their calling in marriage.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

As we see the man is to love his wife even as Christ has for the church. Jesus gave up everything. The man is to do the same. If we learn before marriage to deny ourselves pleasure and comfort to honor the girls then we will be more apt to honor and love our wives when that time comes. Let us all learn not to be compromisers, but rather learn to sacrifice for the others name.

jesusfreak
Feb 13th 2004, 04:35 PM
I think there is a difference between sleeping WITH and sleeping near. I think there would have been a problem had I actually slept in the with one of the girls.

There is also the issue of groups and alone. Had there only been one girl sleeping there I would have foudn somewhere else to sleep.

I think times like this or youth events where girls and guys sleep in the same area are very different from sleeping near a girl or guy alone.

As far as moving to the basement goes, I gues I should have been a man and slept on the cold concrete down there or on the kitchen table or something. By modern cowboy standards I should have slept in the garage actually.

I agree that girls need protection, no problem there.

released
Feb 14th 2004, 12:27 PM
If we want to follow the Lord it takes sacrifice. I doubt that you would have been on a cold floor with the mattress you mentioned. However even if that were the case the sacrifice would have been a better route. There should have not been girls and boys in the same room for sleeping arrangements. I think that the only thing would have missed out on is your strong desire to sleep near the girls.

ViolaSnapdragon
Feb 14th 2004, 03:59 PM
Where's the scripture on this again? I feel we have a lot of opinions being thrown back and forth, and people are judging another's nature as a Christian because their opinion is different.

released
Feb 14th 2004, 09:02 PM
Where's the scripture on this again? I feel we have a lot of opinions being thrown back and forth, and people are judging another's nature as a Christian because their opinion is different.

Hello The Lady Amalthea,
there is no scripture on deep throating one another with our tongues before we are married or against heavy petting, but I think that both would be discerned as incorrect for someone naming the name of the Lord. In the case we are speaking about it is about how we cannot only protect ourselves, but anothers reputation. Also learning to deny self. If you think about it why would ANYONE argue for sleeping in the same area with the opposite gender unless it is totally a flesh thing? Today we see such a high percentage of failure in the purity area and then when wise counsel is given for how to keep ones self pure we find those who stand against it. You can be sure of this. Those who are arguing that sleeping in the same room is ok are not arguing that because they want to promote purity.

ViolaSnapdragon
Feb 15th 2004, 09:43 PM
Ok, for one thing I was talking about boys and girls sleeping in the same room, not s*xual acts.

A flesh thing? Even now, sleeping in the same apartment/room/bed as my husband is not a flesh thing. We used to nap in a sitting but cuddled position on my parents' couch together on weekends without anything s*xual about it. It was "puppy piling"(you know how puppies and cats cuddle each other when they sleep?) It was emotional comfort.

Also, if you want to go there on physical stuff, I still feel closed mouth kissing with no temptation is fine. People are tempted by different things to different degrees. Some people can kiss with a closed mouth just fine, some can't even hold hands without temptation.

Aside from all that, I do agree about reputation. If falling asleep in your boyfriend or girlfriend's dorm is going to look bad, don't do it.

Shmuckboy
Mar 12th 2004, 07:20 PM
Released,

Are you a monk?

I was watching TV and saw a commercial where monks were using the internet. Just wondering.

Shmuckboy
Mar 12th 2004, 07:21 PM
Those who are arguing that sleeping in the same room is ok are not arguing that because they want to promote purity.


Kyle = REALLY confused.

CherryBlossomGirl
Mar 14th 2004, 07:11 PM
It really depends on your motives and reasons. Whenever I go to an out of town concert with my friends or to a conference for school where my male friends are I stay in their room to listen to music and chat. I've ended up sleeping in the bed with my close friends, not because we wanted to be sexual but because we were talking and it ended up late. I don't think that's a problem. However, if I was dating someone I would be much different because lying in a bed is conducive towards sexual behavior and it would be all too easy to start something. Also, it's temptation. With my same sex friends we don't have that temptation and I have know most of them for years, so it's not at all sexual. I would say that just sleeping isn't bad, but if the promiximity made you feel tempted and lustful then it's best to avoid the situation.

smilingbiblereader
Mar 15th 2004, 12:57 AM
Two summers ago my youth group went on a trip to a big christian Music festival in Minnesota. We left at 7:00 in the morning and got there at about 3 or 4 in the afternoon the next day. Needless to say almost all of the youth went to sleep at some point during that trip. They couldn't have planned it in a way where we didn't get the youth sleeping on the bus. Unless we stayed at a hotel or a campground or the guys got out of the bus and slept on the ground or something. Doing these things would have either dramaticaly raised the cost of the trip or taken too much time. In this case I am sure that sleeping together was all right. There were about 4 adults and 40 youth, according to my knowledge no sin was caused by us sleeping together.

So I guess my answer to that question would be that there are cases were it is all right and there are times were it is wrong.

Jennifer89
Mar 21st 2004, 01:47 PM
perhaps under your specific sircomstances, this was okay. But not everyone will know why or how. Your parents/her parents/friends ect. might not undrstand. They might think that you did have sex, and be quite anoyed or whatever at this. You can't really take a humans words as the truth, why? becasue they are human! who knows what others will think you to were really doing behind closed doors. and besides, what if they don't even listen to the whole story. soon, rumers will be flying around that you DID have sex, and what kind of Christian example would that be? And no one will listen to your side of the story, or believe it, if they are allready set in believing theres. Hey, they are humans, and they will think that they want to, not always the truth.

SpartanII
Mar 21st 2004, 04:38 PM
It all depends on the person. It's as simple as that. Some will feel lust, some won't. In my experience, it depends on the girl. Some girls induce lust, some do not. When my girlfriend slept in my bed with me when we first started going out I felt no lust because I knew what kind of girl she was. Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous, but she's not a sl*t. She has a pure spirit, and that's why I felt no lust.

Shmuckboy
Mar 30th 2004, 02:52 PM
Liar. :lol:






























































You know you're bad. :lol:

SpartanII
Mar 30th 2004, 04:00 PM
Well....I never said it doesn't cross my mind! Just not the incident I am referring to.....dang it Shmuck...shut up! :lol:

Shmuckboy
Mar 30th 2004, 04:08 PM
ROFL :lol: :lol: :lol: Too much man....... :lol:

MichFan
Mar 31st 2004, 02:44 AM
I think its ok. :D If your watching a movie and fall asleep its not like you planned it. And as long as nothing happend I would say there is nothing wrong. and like you said I also have vowed to stay a virgin untill I am married and I know its not easy.

my_stronghold
May 21st 2004, 07:46 AM
Well, the last post was ages ago, but anyway - I really don't think it matters what others think. Why should you care if both you and God knows nothing happened?

Livin'4Jesus
May 23rd 2004, 12:39 AM
If you mean "the big thing" it says in the bible to wait until after marriage and lust sould not be in the Christian life because that is a thing of the world and not of God.

Sincerly, Livin'

#1 Bond Fan
May 23rd 2004, 12:28 PM
i would say yes.... just because if i just got tired during a late night movie that i could fall asleep withought getting in truoble

Llama Jockey
May 25th 2004, 12:46 AM
In itself it's certainly not a sin. Depending on the situation however, it may be too much of a temptation.

kristendunbar
Jun 7th 2004, 06:49 PM
hmmm, big debate...
I have slept (in the literal sense) in the same room as my guy friends. In my house in my living room, on youth group retreats, at overnighters, in hotels. Nevr once has their been a problem with temptation. All of these times there were reasons for being in the same room, none of which included just wanting to sleep together.
I have heard of colleges that have rules that allow 24 hour visitation as long as guests and hosts dont go to sleep! what kind of rule is that? Like people said its not what happens while sleeping, its what happens when youre awake. I do think that is a ridiculous rule!
I have never slept in the same bed as a male friend and I agree with the others who say they want to save that for their husbands. But then again recently (half jokingly and half seriously) I stated that my husband and I would have seperate beds like couples did in the old days. (I just dont like sleeping next to people..)
I guess what I am trying to say is that for me sleeping in the same room is fine, but the same bed is not. But, this is a belief that I have for myself, everybody is different!

Avegen
Jun 18th 2004, 03:57 AM
I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having sex is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?

I think it's fine if it's an accident that you fell asleep like you say. I mean, if a boyfriend and girlfriend are sitting together, just watching TV, and they each fall sleep next to each other, it's fine... You weren't doing anything wrong. But if it's stretching to something sinful, try not to do it. I don't see any problem as long as no sin is involved.

jesusfreak
Jun 18th 2004, 04:04 AM
I definately agree that it is not sinful to accidently fall asleep with your girlfriend/boyfriend.

I also agree that within certain contexts it is ok to sleep near members of the opposite s*x. For instance at a youth retreat or something where there are other present and tempation is not involved.

I would not, however, condone sleeping with a member of the opposite s*x if you are alone, just the two of you, or if you are actually sharing a bed or soemthing like that.

Avegen
Jun 18th 2004, 04:05 AM
I would not, however, condone sleeping with a member of the opposite s*x if you are alone, just the two of you, or if you are actually sharing a bed or soemthing like that.

I concur fully.

SurlyBot
Jun 25th 2004, 05:47 AM
Personally I don't think it's that big of a deal. Then again, my opinions on things such as pre-marital sex are probably different than most of the people here.

jesusfreak
Jun 30th 2004, 04:20 AM
Welcome to the board surlybot.

Keep in mind this is a Christian board, we are christians and we hold a higher standard than the world around us.

Are you a christian?

pegasis
Jul 4th 2004, 10:10 PM
I really din't see anything wrong with it as long as you keep all of your clothes on.


BEsides my mom has this thing were I used to share a bed with my brother. and when my friends were over we share a bed(even my boyfriend).

jesusfreak
Jul 23rd 2004, 01:37 PM
Welcome to the board pegasis.


I have a problem with this even if clothes are still on, it is very inviting of temptation for many.

As Christians, we should not be putting ourselves into situations that invite such a great deal of temptation.

Sharing a bed with a family member is one thing, my sister and I would on vacations all the time(most hotels don't fit families of 5 well), but it is entirely different to share one with a friend of the opposite s*x or someone you are dating.

Why risk the temptation?

ChildofImmanuel
Jul 24th 2004, 01:58 PM
I have gone to youth retreats with my church before. We always stay in different cabins/dorms, but we usually fall asleep on the bus home. Is this sinful? No, we are not separated, males here, females there, but we are fully clothed and we are sleeping, not anything else.

So in some cases, sleeping in the same room is fine, while if one did it because one wanted to, that is inviting temptation. (http://bibleforums.org/images/smilies/hug.gif http://bibleforums.org/images/smilies/kiss.gif lol)

Love in Christ

jesusfreak
Jul 24th 2004, 03:20 PM
I have gone to youth retreats with my church before. We always stay in different cabins/dorms, but we usually fall asleep on the bus home. Is this sinful? No, we are not separated, males here, females there, but we are fully clothed and we are sleeping, not anything else.

So in some cases, sleeping in the same room is fine, while if one did it because one wanted to, that is inviting temptation. (http://bibleforums.org/images/smilies/hug.gif http://bibleforums.org/images/smilies/kiss.gif lol)

Love in Christ
I totally agree with you there, in some cases it is alright. I have stated this in previous posts.

The problem comes when you begin sleeping together alone, a lot of temptation results there.

Loe1
Jul 24th 2004, 08:09 PM
I didn't have time to read all the replies so maybe someone has already said this....

If you are being convicted or you are questioning whether it's right or not, it probably isn't. If you were doing something that you knew was right you wouldn't question it. If you're still not sure rm it's better to be safe than sorry.
That's what I think, anyway.

Katatonic
Aug 3rd 2004, 05:33 AM
The Bible tells us that those who kill must be killed! It is the word of God! (Lev. 24:17)

The Bible tells us that those who work on the Sabbath must be killed! It is the word of God! (Ex. 31:15)

The Bible tells us that those who commit adultery must be killed! It is the word of God! (Lev. 20:10)

The Bible tells us that anyone who sacrifices to any other god will be utterly destroyed! It is the word of God! (Ex. 22:20)

The Bible tells us that any who blaspheme the name of the Lord will be killed! It is the word of God! (Lev. 24:16)

The Bible tells us that anyone who curses his mother or father will be killed! It is the word of God! (Ex. 21:17)

Don't believe me? Well, guess what? "He that believeth not, shall be damned." (Mark 16:16)

Have any of you actually read this book! Its a load of hypocritical garbage. Maybe you just skipped these bits, or maybe your whole shoddy religion is centered on fear and ignorance I don't actually care but maybe one day you'll see this. This post is in response to constant proselytizing on an Atheist chat site - Leave your ridiculous beliefs to yourselves.

Have you actually read it either? Because if you have, you'll notice that Christ's sacrifice has lifted the old law from us.

Gal 2:19 For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Gal 3:10 For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them." Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for "The righteous shall live by faith." But the law is not of faith, rather "The one who does them shall live by them." Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us--for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree" so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith.

Gal 3:21 Is the law then contrary to the promises of God? Certainly not! For if a law had been given that could give life, then righteousness would indeed be by the law. But the Scripture imprisoned everything under sin, so that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.


Check it out, if you're genuinely interested in learning something instead of making a fool of yourself.

SpartanII
Aug 4th 2004, 04:57 AM
Check it out, if you're genuinely interested in learning something instead of making a fool of yourself.

:lol:






-------------------

Prayin_saint
Aug 5th 2004, 03:38 AM
I agree Spartan!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Clouds & Spikes
Sep 6th 2004, 03:36 PM
I think it's OK, IMO. As long as you still have your clothes on. If you find yourself slipping while doing this, stop.
I'd be hesitant to accept advice from someone who supports tap-dancing hotdogs.


but, that's just me...





seriously though, I agree with him. Sleeping next to someone clothed is about as intimate as hugging, which I don't see a problem with.

Brandon

SpartanII
Sep 7th 2004, 09:01 PM
The tap dancing hot dog is very wise, he agrees with everything I say. ;)

Agape'd
Mar 4th 2005, 04:11 AM
Im a girl, lol a romantic minded and emotional girl...us females all are ya know...
I think that situatution is totally romantic, you're both not having s*x but you fall asleep, *sigh* your head on his shoulder...lah lah..
But i do think that is shows him that you had no problem sleeping right next to him where no one could see, alone, and that you really have no standards, do not get me wrong i dont think in ur case he thinks that..but do it again and again and he might start to see that he sould push the bill ya know..
Plus, you wanna leave a little mystery, keep him guessing... just letting yourself fall asleep, showing yourself to be so vulnerable and all thats next is sex down the road...

Ya know, it sounds like it was TOTALLY innocent, but guys think so differently then us girls..who knows what he may have entertained in his head..even the most pure guys do..thats how God made them..

So lol, it sounds like an adorable romantic chick-flick scene, but i dont think its all that great to do!

**Smile**
Meg

FPG
Mar 14th 2005, 05:10 AM
Sure, if me and a girl were studying all night and all of a sudden we dosed off in the same room and or near each other, we're not trying to do anything we're just tired. There's nothing wrong with accidentally falling asleep with each other. Just don't make a regular deal out of it. Accidents are one thing... doing it on purpose, however, can lead to all sorts of issues.

rabidchipmunk
Mar 15th 2005, 02:26 AM
1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. (KJVR)

14390876
Mar 15th 2005, 10:23 AM
I sayed no. But this is because I'm thinkning about my own situation. I think it comes down to the old "where do you draw the line" question. Pesonally I don't think it's a situation i will encourage at this point. My girlfriend does sleep over at my house sometimes and I've slept over at her house too. But there are always parants around and we always sleep in separate rooms. Since we don't watch alot of movies anyway, we probably won't be in such a situation easily.

meredith338
Mar 29th 2005, 08:15 PM
personally i would say not a good idea. not only because it's putting yourself in the path of sin, but also because god holds us to a higher standard.

Even if your're really not having sex and just sleep next to each other your blending in with the world and god asks us not to blend in with the world. he wants us to be set appart. If you appear to be in the world your light isn't going to be as effective as it could be. your giving people and satan foothold in your life. people can use you and yourgirlfriend "sleeping together" against you and completely degrade your testimony, because your're just like them in their eyes.

sneaky
Apr 4th 2005, 08:50 PM
hi my name is lucas and i think it is ok because you still kept your virginty and the question is, is she a christain and if so was god the one who showed you her or was it yourself?

sushi_pompom
Apr 5th 2005, 04:05 AM
Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as they are clothed in modest pajamas (No nighties!) and have self-control, everything should be fine.

sanctified
Apr 5th 2005, 05:30 AM
In the words of Dannah Gresh, "stay public and vertical"

I dont believe it's okay to sleep in the same bed as a person of the opposite s*x, it's way too tempting.

And pretty much, if you have to ask if it's okay, it probably isn't.

Prayin_saint
Apr 5th 2005, 12:53 PM
In the words of Dannah Gresh, "stay public and vertical"
:lol:
I agree- if you have to ask "is this too far" it's better not to go there at all.
Christians shouldn't ask "Is this too far?" but rather "is this glorifying God?"

meredith338
Apr 9th 2005, 06:19 AM
self control and discipline is not a good thing to trust on this one.*smirk* god says in the bible our hearts and flesh are evil and they are weak... they sin. the only thing good in us is him. and without him we do not desire good, he puts that desire in us but when living in our flesh if even for 5 minutes it's that easy to fall into sin. best just to completely stay away from the appearance of evil and the temptation all together even if right now you have no problem just being close to each other in bed.

Zeichnete
Jun 8th 2005, 09:35 PM
well i havnt read all the replies but i read the initial post, and i dont see anything wrong with it, if me and Courtney are watching a movie late at night and i am holding her, if she falls asleep i am not going to wake her i will just gently lay down with her, nothing wrong with it, i mean it isnt like intentially sleeping in the same bed every night before marriage. You can sleep together without actually "sleeping together" Plus if you fall asleep together like that you will probably have all your cloths on anyways. I mean i am going to spend the night at my girlfriends house on her birthday. now on the evening of her birthday i plan to read to her everything i have written to her, and i have written lots and lots of letters and poems, so it will take a few hours to read it all and if she happens to fall asleep while i am holding her on my lap i would just gently lay down with her and sleep till morning, unless her parents said other wise. so all in all i dont think it is wrong if done occasionally

Prayin_saint
Jun 28th 2005, 03:01 PM
Z,
You're a great guy and I have alot of respect for you. However, I disagree with you on this point... Here's some great thoughts from earlier in the thread...


Personally, I would never do it. I try to flee from temptation, and, in my mind, this would hardly be fleeing. I want to reserve many things for my spouse, and plain sleeping together (truly sleeping, not s*x) is one of them.
I totally agree. Just sleeping in the same bed with someone, that I cannot wait to do with my husband. I would never do this with a boyfriend. I try not to do anything that will take away from a marriage....

You're girlfriend is 14, right, Z? Honey- she's really young and you need to be careful. I'm not going to go all in on this post- I don't want to scare you away or make you defensive, plus it would be terribly off-topic. But I'd say that she is looking to you- completely and wholeheartedly- to be the moral indicator and protector. She trusts that you won't do anything to harm her (and I know you wouldn't). You've gotta protect her, even from yourself. Make sure you treat her as if you know that her husband is out there and he's not you. Treat her as another man's future wife and, most importantly, a sister in Christ. You may wind up getting married one day- I certainly hope so because I can tell you care about her SO much. But you have to bear in mind that it may not happen like we all hope.
I'm praying for ya'll both. :hug: I know my sudden advice is probably a downer (sorry) but I feel it should still be out there.
In Christ's love,
Sarah

Zeichnete
Jun 30th 2005, 12:41 AM
hey if it makes you feel better she was way to excited to sleep when i was holding her, now we havnt slept together at all, i was just saying that if i were holding her and she feel asleep i wouldnt disturb her or wake her up unless it was important. If she where to fall asleep while i were holding her that would feel so special to me, it would show that she feels comfortable with me and trust me. If you dont know what i mean about the trust, i am impling that she knows that if she were to fall asleep i wouldnt do any thing wrong, like look at her body parts or something like that.

zig1017
Jul 5th 2005, 05:27 AM
I think that it is ok... But really it depends on how you're sleeping. If you are 'spooning' or whatever it is called, I think that is wrong and is something that should be saved for marriage. But I fell asleep on my friends bed with him... my head was near his feet and I see nothing wrong with it. We didn't mean to fall asleep like that, a bunch of us were hanging out and we were both tired. But I think it's different when you plan on sleeping together and are laying in a way that your parents wouldn't like to see you laying... That is just what I think though. :)

DavidJNIxon
Aug 3rd 2005, 10:15 PM
I think that opening yourself to temptation like that can be dangerous and considering that I'm currently seeing a non-Christian I don't think it'd be at all safe to get into that situation!

However, I think that if it's harmless that you both just drift off together on the couch watching a film or something like that then it's ok. But certainly I'd not think sleeping undressed in any major way is at all a clever thing to do. Satan's good at his job because he's been doing it for 6 millennia so don't try to go up against him with temptation because you will lose every time once you start a dialogue with him.

Sola
Aug 10th 2005, 04:30 AM
I think that purity concerns a lot more than just the act of sex. I can't define exactly where the lines are for you and her, but when they're not distinct enough, it's easy for things to get blurred. For my bf and I, we've chosen not to do things like sleep together like that. Actually, we don't even kiss.. not until marriage. That's where we've drawn our lines. But I don't know what it does or doesn't take for you and for her to maintain purity in the relationship, so I can't really say. Be careful, though.

LauraMegan
Aug 11th 2005, 03:46 AM
I read through some of the posts and I'd have to agree with those who argue against sleeping together, even innocently and with your clothes on. Why, besides the temptation and the way others see you, would it be wrong? Here's why. It puts you in the wrong frame of mind. It might seem like a very innocent act, but every innocent act doesn't always stay innocent. We need to question what our motives are.

If you're a guy, think of a girl you're friendly with that isn't your girlfriend. Would you feel totally comfortable falling asleep on the couch cuddled up with her? If you're a girl, think of a guy you're friendly with that isn't your boyfriend. Would you feel totally comfortable in the same situation? I think I know the answer, and that's "no". So why do we feel comfortable falling asleep next to a boyfriend or a girlfriend? In reality, are we really being all that chaste and innocent, or are we playing "future wife"/"future husband"?

I've got a boyfriend, and struggle with this and more all the time. And let me tell you, debating THIS does LEAD to "more" nearly all the time. It goes from "innocently falling asleep next to each other" to "holding and sleeping" to "kissing, holding and sleeping"... and so on. You get the picture. It's just a hard battle. It's best not to throw yourself into the middle of situations that are going to be difficult like that.

Just my .02 cents. God bless, guys.

Loren
Aug 13th 2005, 04:52 AM
I voted no on this one. For me personally it's not a risk (i.e. temptation) that I think is wise to take. Somebody mentioned that this isn't a good situation to leave to your better judgement, I agree. I think it's important to have firm boundaries in order to prevent one thing from leading to the next in times of temptation.

Spence06
Aug 13th 2005, 02:38 PM
I think for each person the line of purity is a different one. But I believe our bodies know us best and you can usually tell when your going too far being a guy. For me, I would say no. The great old question of, "how far is too far" is first the wrong question to ask in my opinion and second different for everyone. So you have to look at what you feel about it and just use your intelligence, you'll find the answer.

LauraMegan
Sep 28th 2005, 02:16 AM
I know this is an older thread and I've already responded, but I had to share something that happened today: I didn't take my own advice about sleeping with a guy. ;) I know that sounds funny. Here's what happened: I am feeling sick and am on all kinds of cold/flu meds. I was sitting outside on a picnic table bench with my boyfriend and we were both reading/studying. My head dropped until I was leaning on him. He chose not to wake me up, so I was resting against him and sleeping until he woke me up and told me he had to scoot for his next class. :P

On one hand... I understand everything people (including me!) said earlier about temptation, etc etc. On the other hand... we weren't tempted to do anything. hehe my boyfriend was reading over a political theory text. I was reading the philosophy of Aquinas while fighting off the drowsy feeling from the meds and needless to say, Aquinas' style of writing isn't the most exciting in the world... :rolleyes: The end result? A nap. That's it. So, no harm done.

Prayin_saint
Sep 28th 2005, 04:18 AM
Well I've gotta point out that there's a big difference between a picnic table during the day when you're on meds and planning to sleep in your girl/boyfriend's room at night. Plus you took a little nap on his shoulder sitting up (that can happen to anyone say on a plane flight or road trip) - which is a huge step away from sleeping/napping vertical which is a situation which invites temptation.
I know what you're saying, Laura, so don't be offended by that- I'm pointing out the differences between you're circumstance and others that readers (members or otherwise) may come across. :hug: And no, you didn't go against your own advice- you're still absolutely right. Like I said- huge difference between an accidental nap on someone's shoulder and falling asleep next to someone.
In His Hands,
Sarah

LadyinWaiting
Oct 16th 2005, 02:23 PM
My bf and I occasionally nap at the same time - clothed...when there are others walking around (roommate at college, his mother at his house - - - never at mine - too....risky).

Over at my home though, I've been watching TV with him and fallen asleep (was up for nearly 24 hours at the time).



There is a big difference between an accident and a planned thing...or one where there's no one around....or an all night deal. Even if you may not be tempted, it's not going to promote a good feeling for those who are seeing you go in and not come out until morning.

On the other hand, the nap for 30 minutes or accidental things - there's usually some way that someone is checking up...walking through....or otherwise able to see that nothing below reproach is going on.

As much as we're taught in our society to "not care what others think," there is a point where you cannot tarnish your witness. Even if YOU know that nothing is going on, you shouldn't allow your actions to cause another person to sin through gossip or bearing false witness by spreading rumors about you. It's like Paul said, he would rather stop eating meat than cause someone to fall into sin. What are you willing to do to protect those you influence?

Quietly_seeking
Oct 16th 2005, 10:04 PM
I agree with AFSweetie777. Spending the night with my boyfriend is definitely off limits for us, but we've taken quick naps together (intentionally and unintentionally) and for those circumstances we were both just so tired that we felt okay doing that. However I also have to keep in mind that while sometimes taking a nap would not cause a problem on my part, I have to make sure that I don't cause my boyfriend to be tempted. That's the one thing I always try to consider, is what consequences my actions will have with him.

sneaky
Oct 28th 2005, 11:29 PM
Ive got a friend that i hang aroud with alot and were kina goin out but not really and well we never once napped or slept near eachother i eman if im over for dinner and were up late i can sleep in the spare bedroom in the basement but other than that i get my parents to pic me up, or she sleeps in my room and ill sleep on teh couch by the computer which means ud have to get past a maze of junk to get to me so its virtually imposibble for anythin to happen to us and well as i said before i think if its accidental its aight i mean like people said it happens and peopel will see nothing happend....

freefalling
Nov 6th 2005, 05:24 AM
Hmmmm, I think it depends on the situation. Some things just are unnaceptable. I mean if you're taking a nap or something on the couch next to your boyfriend or girlfriend that's one thing. But why would you be spending the night with them or sleeping in the same bed with them unless you're married? *shrug* Maybe I'm a prude- oh well! lol that's what I think.

God's Little Guy
Nov 6th 2005, 06:44 AM
Me personally, I don't think it's right. I mean, I think physical contact of any kind with the opposite sex should be minimal. That might be a little extreme, but if it's what it takes to keep a person's mind in the right place, then I'm all for it. I"m a 17-year-old guy, so it's suitable for my case.

This sort of behavior can also damage you in the public eye. It would make it a lot harder to be a witness when you try. People would see this and immediately be resistant to the Gospel as presented by the person who justifies sleeping/napping with their special someone. They won't distinguish between sin and not sin. This isn't so much as to say it's wrong, but a reason not to do it.

As for wrong, I always thought that, as Christians, we were supposed to flee temptation, including any situation which may lead to temptation. I think any situation where you are alone with a member of the opposite sex could potentially be a bad idea.

Altogether, maybe different people have different limits where they might stray into sin. Depending on the situation, it might be entirely ok, or it might be sin. I guess a good idea would be to ask yourself, if you do it, is it worth what it might do to you, your witness, purity, etc?

I don't know. Any thoughts? Constructive criticism would be appreciated.

jo_jo_aussie
Oct 12th 2006, 12:47 PM
I think that sleeping together (as long as thats all your doing) is OK. But i also believe that it is also very tempting. I have been in that kind of situation myself, and it is very tempting to change the situation into something...more. It perfectly OK, as you long as both you and your girl/boyfriend have set boundaries for each other to keep, and lines not to cross, and are strong in faith enough to not cross them! I don't personally have a problem with it!

NHL Fever
Oct 15th 2006, 06:14 AM
I'm totally surprised that there are more yes than no. I would have predicted a no/yes ratio of about 90/10.

I feel strongly that one guy and one girl sleeping in the same bed or in close proximity such that their bodies could rest against each other lying down to be a very bad idea. I think even watching a movie alone with a girl who could be attracted to you, or you to her, late into the night, is not a good idea. What is their to lose by not doing it? - nothing except slightly less good late-night talking on one single occasion. What is their to gain by not doing it? - escaping a potentially spiritually toxic situation.

I think we can all agree that youth groups, big groups, or same sex friends/groups of close friends sleeping in the same room really poses no risk and is in the fact the premise of many fun outings throughout the growing-up years. Same with if you're staying with several friends at somebody's parents house.

Also all the guys who want to sleep with female friends (non-sexually) need to ask yourselves - why? What do you really gain? The answer is nothing, except possibly intimacy, which is risky for obvious reasons. I think we all know why guys like this - because it's kind of a thrill since we're attracted to girls. If it's not about that, and it's not a big deal - then it's not a big deal to wake up and realize that many guys before you have thought it's not a big deal and it ended up being a real big deal.

Also consider if your daughter made a habit of sleeping next to/in the same bed with her male friend(s). You would not be pleased.

Godslittleangel
Oct 22nd 2006, 12:46 AM
Two people could be sleepng together after watching a movei have set boundaries both waiting for marriage, and suddenly get caught up in the moment and before they realize what happened, they have already done it. I voted no cuz even though it may seem innocent, there is temptation. And we are human, we are prone to making mistakes, and we anre't invincible to temptaion. Temptation can get the best of us, no matter how strong we are, how careful or no matter where we are in our faith, we can easily fall into it and do something we will regret. and its not worth it. JEsus said to flee temptation. Not just throw ourselves into it just for a temporary enjoyment. Its little things like this taht can lead us to do somethng that we will regret adn won't be able to go backa nd change. Just htink really hard about this. We are human, we are prone to lose judgemetn adn do smething bad. And I think sleeping together, even if its doen innocently, is just setting ourselves up for someting to happen. soethign that will afect your life. Sure it may nothappen but how will we know it won't happen at the same time?

BuffaloSoldier
Oct 22nd 2006, 06:39 AM
We face temptation everyday. Two people sleeping next to each other isn't going to hurt anything, as long as they can control their feelings. If our point in life is to avoid temptation, we might as well stay indoors all the time.

*For the record, my ex-girlfriend and I gave into temptation many times in these sorts of situations, so if you're going to sleep next to someone you have feelings for, set boundaries!

Godslittleangel
Oct 22nd 2006, 09:10 AM
We face temptation everyday. Two people sleeping next to each other isn't going to hurt anything, as long as they can control their feelings. If our point in life is to avoid temptation, we might as well stay indoors all the time.

*For the record, my ex-girlfriend and I gave into temptation many times in these sorts of situations, so if you're going to sleep next to someone you have feelings for, set boundaries!

Yes we face temptation everyday but thats not an excuse to just throw ourselves into it either. I think there are cases where we should avoid it Jesus did say to flee temptation. and no matter how careful we are, we can fight to control our feelings, but we are human, we will stumble and even i we are careful, we can still go too far. NO one is invincible to temptation, no matter how careful, no matter how strong a christian we are, we are all at risk, we can still easily fall. Its easier than we like to think to fall into temptation, its little things like this that can lead to something more. And why is this so important to risk it? Is it that important to risk doing something we regret?

Luke 11:4
Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.[a (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=49&chapter=11&verse=4&version=31&context=verse#fen-NIV-25402a)]
And lead us not into temptation.

1 Timothy 6:9
People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.

Matthew 26:41
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

I htink JEsus was very clear on temptation. I knwo there will be temptation but I thnk there are cases where we cn easily avoid it and this is one of them.

NHL Fever
Oct 23rd 2006, 03:18 PM
We face temptation everyday. Two people sleeping next to each other isn't going to hurt anything, as long as they can control their feelings. If our point in life is to avoid temptation, we might as well stay indoors all the time.

*For the record, my ex-girlfriend and I gave into temptation many times in these sorts of situations, so if you're going to sleep next to someone you have feelings for, set boundaries!

I think your story is typical of what happens to many people. You take a chance thinking you can control yourself, and then temptation takes you over. Jesus said to flee temptation. We face temptation every day true, but there's necessary temptation like situations we must be in for our job, handling company money, traveliing, maybe family situations, etc, and then there's unecessary temptation. Deliberately sleeping in close proximity is unecessary. I agree with the previous poster, there is so little to gain, and lots of lose, so it doesn't make sense to risk it. No Christian relationship has ever suffered for not sleeping together, nor can anyone claim their marriage was somehow negatively affected because they didn't lie next to each other often enough prior to the wedding. It's a poor decision.

Revinius
Oct 24th 2006, 06:02 AM
Ok, many reasons have been given here for not doing so. At base value there is nothing wrong with sleeping next to each other as opposed to with each other. However, in order to be 'above reproach' with unbelievers you must not sleep in the same room or be alone for extended periods of time.

I say this having been through many discussions with others on the matter.

When you become a servant of God you become just that, your own selfish desires come secondary to the glory of God. If this is correct then, regardless of the argument against temptation which is very valid, we must endeavor in all things to make sure others know we live a difference.

To live a difference we have to show others. Comments such as "yeah, they have been secretly having sex when they are alone together" from unbelievers are common both verbally and mentally.

It might pain you too know such things but such precautions are necessary in order to show a unified front against those who wish to undermine Gods work. Remember he comes first in all things.

Hebrews 10:36 "You need to persevere, for when you have done the Will of God, you will recieve what he has promised."

God Bless.

jonpantomime
Oct 24th 2006, 11:26 AM
to be honest, i have done this 2 times.

no sex involved and did not bother about the girl next to me.

did not have any interest in the girl.

although i have done this, and this was in the past.

try not to do it again. as guys, we tell ourselves to control ourselves but when we are face to face with the situation. that red button that triggers our testosterone will be ignited.

i dont have a girlfriend and i am still a virgin, being honest.

still waiting for the right time to get one.

jimmy rig
Feb 24th 2007, 08:36 AM
No ,we need to reserve ourselves to project a christian example.And for our spiritual walk with Christ.love from me,Kate


I agree with freeslave on this one. I made it a habit of sleeping next to a girl who was only a friend, one night things happened. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks from there. Our friendship was destroyed and I got to spend three months worrying about her being pregnant. There is just too much risk. Even if your intentions are innocent people do things they normaly wouldn't especialy when they are in close contact with someone in the dark for hours. Especially since you don't think as clearly as normal when you're tired. Then there's always the fact that christians are to reflect the Lord in their actions, could you see Jesus doing this?

Gods Creation
Mar 3rd 2007, 07:21 AM
I really like the way the question on the poll was worded. I don't think that the behavior is acceptable as it has too much potential to lead to sin, but it is certainly not inherently "sinful" either.

Chimon
Mar 7th 2007, 12:59 AM
Like the Mutt said, if it can lead to sin, don't do it. If other people get the impression of sin, don't do it.

1. Anything can lead to sin. You need to know what you're ready for in terms of resisting temptation or not being tempted, and avoid that which you aren't sure you can handle. If they were confident they weren't going further, then this point is not valid.
2. Being a good example is a good point, however, this too can be taken too far. If you take this so far that you never do anything that anyone could consider wrong, you start looking untight and prudish to the rest of the world, which in and of itself displays Christians incorrectly. I would say, know the specific situation, if people are going to think you're a hypocrit, this reason applies, don't do it. If people won't know, or will allow you to justify yourself, or won't care, this reason is not valid. I think in general sleeping together is not wrong, in the right situations. However, I think that living together is wrong, it causes too many raised eyebrows, and may jeopardize your witness. It may also cause other Christians to sin. There may however, be situations in which God in his supreme wisdom would desire it, and it's not my place to judge those who believe God has told them that, and I should leave it alone, unless God tells me to do something about it.

Gods Creation
Mar 24th 2007, 06:03 PM
1. Anything can lead to sin. You need to know what you're ready for in terms of resisting temptation or not being tempted, and avoid that which you aren't sure you can handle. If they were confident they weren't going further, then this point is not valid.I agree that anything can lead to sin, but some things are way more likely to lead to sin than others. Is it possible to go to a strip bar and not have sexual lust? From the limited knowledge I have of psychology, yes, hypothetically, it should be possible. How likely is it? Not very - not very at all.

Unfortunately, confidence does not always lead to certainty. I was confident that I could hold on to a horse without a saddle if it were to jump when I was nine-years-old. A few minutes later I flew off and cracked my spinal disk. I was also confident that I can make a jump when I was snowboarding. A few seconds later, I wiped out.

I don't believe that a young unmarried couple falling asleep together is inherently sinful. Yet, I believe that it is a foolish thing to do (at least not on accident), regardless of how confident you both are that nothing will happen. Two young missionaries who liked each other from my church went on a trip together. One of them held a leadership role before. I am quite confident that the thought of something happening didn't cross their mind. They were probably pretty confident that nothing like this could happen. Yet, a few months later, lo and behold, she is pregnant with his kid.

I am learning more and more to trust what others before me tell me is a bad decision. Too often then not, their experience and wisdom proves to be correct.

Ekeak
Sep 2nd 2007, 10:25 PM
wow your tuff to not sleep with your girlfriend and not have sex. Slept with can or cannot be with the good, holy, or ugly? ugly is evil.

inhisgrip20
Sep 4th 2007, 03:11 AM
I have to admit I have slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex before. It was only a couple of times, but I still wouldn't condone it. Nothing happened, but we were both afraid of what others would think about it. We snuck around so that noone would know and get the wrong impression about all of it. The temptation to do something wass definitely there and there's no reason to risk everything for a night like that. I would say it's just easier and better to not stay the night, sin or not.

I do see some situations where sleeping in the same room with people of the opposite sex isn't wrong. For instance, a lockin at the church, I don't really see anything wrong with it as long as there are chaperones awake and the people aren't like sleeping next to each other. It would just depend on the situation.

Godslittleangel
Sep 5th 2007, 02:43 AM
I have to admit I have slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex before. It was only a couple of times, but I still wouldn't condone it. Nothing happened, but we were both afraid of what others would think about it. We snuck around so that noone would know and get the wrong impression about all of it. The temptation to do something wass definitely there and there's no reason to risk everything for a night like that. I would say it's just easier and better to not stay the night, sin or not.

I do see some situations where sleeping in the same room with people of the opposite sex isn't wrong. For instance, a lockin at the church, I don't really see anything wrong with it as long as there are chaperones awake and the people aren't like sleeping next to each other. It would just depend on the situation.
oN the last part, I can see your point, we had alockin but girls slept on one side and the boys on the ohter side, no one slept closely nd chaperones were awake, and in those situations when people are around, people aren't going to have sex or go too far. Unlse they aren't shy. But its probably more than lkely not going to happen. those situations are different but I'd have guys on one side adn girls on the toher side with a space between just in case sono one does feel tempted and gets a good night sleep.:P

ScottRN
Sep 13th 2007, 09:05 PM
I personally think that is fine. I don't think falling asleep next to each other is a sin. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with making love to the person you love with. I personally will wait on sex until I am engaged or very close. But as far as perceptions, honestly it's nobodys business what you two have done, that is between you and God. And todays society has made sex seem very dirty and vulgar, when making love should be one of the most wonderful experiences of your life. Just my 2 cents.

God-Gave-R+R-2-U
Sep 24th 2007, 06:19 AM
I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having s*x is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?

It's all really about temptation, trust and how both you and your girlfriend look at God while living on this Earth that he has bestowed upon us.

If you are worried about that temptation then just get closer to God right away.If this breaks you further from your relationship between you and your girlfriend, then so be it.Honestly, if you want to stay a virgin and (most importantly) keeps God's trust in your decision(s) you may have to break it off with your girlfriend.:hmm:At the same time though, if she knows how you feel about our great Lord and she understands your temptations, then you both can work on your relationship together with the Lord.I don't believe that sleeping together is a problem as long as it doesn't lead you into "trouble."The same could be said about a person that owns a gun...
...as long as that person only uses their gun to hunt, everything will be fine, but if they use it to kill someone, then they are already in "trouble" with both themselves and the Lord.:BHopefully you understand this importance, fellow brother.

steph22nlly
Oct 25th 2007, 04:42 PM
It was an accident I see nothing wrong with not intentionally falling asleep next to a guy...On the other hand it is a sin to live with a boyfriend/girlfriend before marriage right?

Ayala
Oct 25th 2007, 05:17 PM
^^^ In and of itself, I don't think it's a question of whether or not it's sinful...Rather I think it's a question of whether or not it's wise. If you can live with that person without toiling against the temptations of the flesh, then awesome...Most find that a hard task. :P

xlive_4_godx
Oct 26th 2007, 03:08 AM
Sure, if it, AND ONLY IF IT, glorifies God!

(And if you can think of an example of when that would glorify him!!)

Then again, in your certain situation, I would say it was accidental and harmless-- you had no intent to make any "moves" or anything of the sort ;)

Revinius
Oct 31st 2007, 03:11 PM
Ok every few months a thread like this pops up. Has anyone here heard of the whole doctrine of staying above reproach?

Anyone?

Because sleeping with your gf certainly isnt doing that. In this day and age what do people assume if they know your gf stayed over at your place or vice versa? They would naturally assume you were sleeping together/having sex. Upon learning you are a Christian what would be the first thing going through their head? What a Hypocrite!

It doesnt matter what you say in your defence, if you even have the opportunity, you cannot prove that what went on in that room was Godly. In the interest of staying above reproach you should never be alone in a private place with a female until marriage. Sound harsh? Well yeah it is. But frankly its necessary.

The jews were to be as a light unto the world, they failed. We are the new light that is to help spread the gospel to the ends of the earth. If anything damages that mission, even something as simple as sleeping in the same room with noone else around then frankly that is sin. A friend of mine was incredibly tired one night and it was so late he had no way of getting home from a gathering at his gf's place, instead of throwing in the towel and sleeping at her place he gave another mate of mine a call to either come stay over too or give him a ride home. Such are the lengths to which you have to go to live that difference that Christ died for.

I am sure alot of people disagree with me on this and they are perfectly entitled to but above all else the integrity of Gods word in his gospel borne by his people must be upheld at any cost. If you arent showing fruit in the way you live you may not be living the way God wants you to and that stark difference after all is what being Christian is all about.

God Bless

KATA_LOUKAN
Oct 31st 2007, 09:28 PM
well, just my 2 cents, but i think of it this way.


if you sleep with your gf/bf, you arent going to go to hell.

if you knew truly valued your bf/gf and saw him/her as a beautiful child of God, sleeping with him/her would be such a sublime and incredible experience that you would want to save it for marriage.



i've been there. waking up next to somebody you love is one of the best feelings you can have in marriage. waking up next to a gf/bf is kind of a lesser expereince because there isnt the love and commitment of marriage.

the inside out
Nov 4th 2007, 02:01 AM
Why would you set yourself up for temptation? Resist it, don't invite and call it okay. Don't give the devil an opportunity to screw you over.

But just as an important, don't give people reason to call you a hypocrit. It may be an innocent act, but people don't know that. When they look at you, then need to see Christ.

Loved
Nov 28th 2007, 06:57 PM
if you sleep with your gf/bf, you arent going to go to hell.

1 Co. 5:11, "But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat."

That kind of permissive attitude isn't shared by God.

1 Co. 6:13, "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

Who are you glorifying when you have sex outside of marriage? How do you think that comes across to God? "I took your priceless gift and squandered it the exact way you told me not to. But it's ok, 'cause I'm not going to hell for it."

1 Co. 6:18-20, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

The consequences for "sleeping with your b/f or g/f" go far beyond a lesser feeling when you wake up next to them versus a spouse.

1 Co. 6:9, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"

This verse goes on to tell the Christians that this is how they once were, meaning it is referring to non-Christians. I just wanted to point out that God categorizes fornication under unrighteousness displayed by unbelievers who are going to hell. Apparently not something He takes lightly.



if you knew truly valued your bf/gf and saw him/her as a beautiful child of God, sleeping with him/her would be such a sublime and incredible experience that you would want to save it for marriage.

If you truly loved your significant other, your focus would not be on how to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Godly relationships are eternally-minded, and I think you miss that completely in your point of view.

Athanasius
Jan 8th 2008, 01:33 AM
Good way to ruin a perfectly good relationship.

NHL Fever
Jan 9th 2008, 10:14 PM
I remain baffled at the increased yes rather than no. I'm willing to bet if you took the same poll with older people, it would be a resounding no. The reasons is that when you don't have your own desire to sleep with somebody clouding your judgment, you can be more objective about what is right. The sad part is - most of those people will have learned the hard way that its just not worth it. Something like 70 or 80% of Christians lose their virginity before marriage, the reason is because nobody thinks anything of putting themselves in risky situations. The desire to be close to somebody they like or love, or the need to feel loved or desired by somebody else overrules good sense about what God means in their life.

I plead with all my fellow young adults, do whatever you can to avoid having sex before marriage. You will be glad you did, and sorry you didn't if that's the case. This is a universal sentiment among Christians making either choice. In a very short few years, what seems amazing and special now in terms of the mystery of getting close to someone will pass, and you'll regret poor choices.

jonnymull
Jan 14th 2008, 12:08 PM
I think sharing a bed with the opposite sex is ok but what is important is the motives behind doing it

if ur mindset is correct then there isnt a problem

but if its not all i can say is don't test the boundaries
if u know it might lead tosomething else get as far away from the situation as possible

Athanasius
Jan 14th 2008, 02:26 PM
I think sharing a bed with the opposite sex is ok but what is important is the motives behind doing it

if ur mindset is correct then there isnt a problem

but if its not all i can say is don't test the boundaries
if u know it might lead tosomething else get as far away from the situation as possible

What could possibly be the 'correct' motive to laying in bed together before you were married with your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Revinius
Jan 18th 2008, 05:46 AM
people never read my posts regarding staying 'above reproach' or choose to ignore them. Stay clear of anything anyone can fault you for, that includes sleeping in the same room as your bf/gf. Lets be realistic here, if you see a woman and man go into a house together alone and then see them come out the next day, the immediate conclusion is that they are sleeping together etc. Live the difference by not staying over and, regardless of your sin and temptation, view the situation from an outsiders opinion. Christians 'appearing' to live hypocritical sinful lives do unbelievable damage to the Gospel.

MikeAD
Mar 10th 2008, 08:57 AM
Its certainly acceptable...but awfully hard to do.

It is like inviting temptation into your life, but if you can do it, then there is nothign wrong with it.

ConservChrist
Mar 10th 2008, 10:23 AM
Nope. Jesus said not to put yourself in the way of temptation but when Satan growls at you to resist him and he shall flee. This would not be good...very very tempting though. i myself have thought about it..though, i just want to sleep with her in a non intimate type of way...just to cuddle to be close...but that would also be tempting...to tempt yourself is sin. then again, it all depends on who it is..your sister? cousin? lol. but a girl...just a friend or more? no.

ConservChrist
Mar 10th 2008, 10:27 AM
There are two aspects to practical Christian life.

1. How we actually live and conduct ourselves as Christians.

2. How others perceive we are living based on their knowledge of our beliefs.

In this situation, you may not have "violated" part one: you just fell asleep next to each other watching a movie. A sin? Maybe not, but definitely a dangerous position to allow yourself to be in.

Part two is just as important though. How many of those guys who think you're silly for vowing virginity may know what happened? All they may know is that you two spent the night together and they are more than happy to create their own conclusions.

Therefore what may have been totally innocent can cause your witness to be damaged irrepairably in that circle of people.

Now before you say that no one else knows what happened, that is not the point. In the big picture, you have allowed yourself to be in a situation where even if your maintained your convictions, others may not believe that. And remember, we are to live above reproach!


This is an outstanding point. Awesome. Really good. Bullseye!

Revinius
Mar 10th 2008, 10:28 AM
Its certainly acceptable...but awfully hard to do.

It is like inviting temptation into your life, but if you can do it, then there is nothign wrong with it.

What would you say if your youth minister or any single man in authority was sleeping 'next to' a young female? Would you not be supsicious of his motives? I would be. We were bought at a price and shouldnt take such things lightly that can and will be misconstrued my others as a sin. Let alone the temptation aspect itself, think of what others think of you. Take a leaf out of Billy Graham's book and: be so above reproach through making sure your not even close to being alone with a woman your not wed to that people cant find reasonable fault in your conduct. Is not God's glory greater than anything else in the world? What do we have to gain by such dishonourable acts as to ruin not only ours but the reputation of the one we love?

Athanasius
Mar 10th 2008, 12:44 PM
Its certainly acceptable...but awfully hard to do.

It is like inviting temptation into your life, but if you can do it, then there is nothign wrong with it.

Care to explain further? Because the blatant use of double speak is astounding (It's inviting temptation, but it's fine). I know the Bible speaks of fleeing temptation, but inviting it if you can handle it?!

Phil Fourie
Mar 10th 2008, 01:22 PM
Yes, I have to agree with what has been said already by Revi and Xel. Firstly, we as ambassadors of Christ should be above reproach and secondly this needs to be done by staying away from situations where we can easily make a judgement error.

Revinius
Mar 10th 2008, 02:54 PM
I am amazed how this topic keeps getting reopened to death when its a pretty clean cut issue. I am beginning to suspect the real reason people dont want to subscribe to such precautions is simply because they dont want to.

NHL Fever
Mar 10th 2008, 09:47 PM
I am amazed how this topic keeps getting reopened to death when its a pretty clean cut issue. I am beginning to suspect the real reason people dont want to subscribe to such precautions is simply because they dont want to.

I wholeheartedly agree. Its a real sign of a failure of parents and the church to impart sensible wisdom when Christians would think this is ok. The bottom - line, people want to do it, so they will regardless of scripture or good sense. Its the human will over Gods best for them, plain and simple.

Nobody can in good conscience truly believe that Jesus, Paul, or the apostles would not come out in outright rejection of sleeping with somebody with the simple-minded notion of 'only sleeping'. All cautions to be vigilant, not toe the line, to reject all appearance of evil, or to not provide means for your 'brother' (or sister) to stumble are pushed aside when confronted with the need to justify something that the natural heart wants, in concert with the fool's notion that one can understand or anticipate one's feelings/behavior when in a situation where so many, indeed more righteous than those arguing in favor now, have failed.

For those who think its ok, consider:
- Many better than you have failed. You are not unique, they believed the same about themselves as you, and were just as stubborn about it being not a big deal as you. When in an emotionally charged situation, you do not act rationally. Considering the situation right now, outside the situation has no relevance or predictive value on your behavior inside the situation.
- There is nothing to be gained, and much to lose.
- King David, by all accounts a man after Gods own heart, failed when given the opportunity to sin sexually. Its a pretty prideful statement to assume you're better than him in similar circumstances. Only Jesus can instill the proper strength, but when you willfully disobey his advice and enter into a risk situation, you're on your own.
- Consider how you would feel about your daughter, wife, sister or mother putting themselves in a situation like that.

EmoAngel
Mar 26th 2008, 02:47 PM
I voted no because it could easily lead to other things. I'd rather not put myself in the position for something to happen.

Phil Fourie
Mar 26th 2008, 02:52 PM
Hi EA, welcome to the board

You are a very wise person ;)

EmoAngel
Mar 26th 2008, 02:57 PM
Hi EA, welcome to the board

You are a very wise person ;)


Aww thanks so much!:)

Revinius
Mar 27th 2008, 05:53 AM
i am shocked and appauled how many people on the poll think this is 'acceptable behavior'. I am not a father, but i know when i have kids i will be doing them a great service when i dont allow boys into girls rooms. When they are married they can do what they wish.

ChristianKnight
Mar 29th 2008, 07:25 AM
eh, I find it hard to see a guy and a girl sleeping together that have been together for a long time to not want to have sex, but I mean sure, as long as you don't its fine in my view.

Revinius
Mar 29th 2008, 05:15 PM
eh, I find it hard to see a guy and a girl sleeping together that have been together for a long time to not want to have sex, but I mean sure, as long as you don't its fine in my view.

Read back through my posts and let me know if you disagree with what i am saying about being 'above reproach' :)

Athanasius
Mar 29th 2008, 05:17 PM
You know, the gate into heaven is narrow . . . so is the path!
Revinius is completely right, sleeping together (sex or not) is unacceptable. I'll even throw out that I'm saying that from experience (as I'm sure others have as well).

The 162 people who voted yes need to reexamine their beliefs in light of scripture. . . .

Friend of Jesus
May 21st 2008, 11:15 AM
If you can see that you are getting yourself into a position that makes you open to temptation- Then why do it?

There is nothing wrong with the act in itself- say you were with half a dozen others, and you all fell asleep in the same room (no temptation there). But going to sleep next to someone of the opposite sex when you are all by yourselves is just saying "Show me what you got Satan!" -not the cleverest of ideas.

Revinius
May 21st 2008, 06:09 PM
My mates share a house together, they have a rule that no single girl is to sleep in the house when any/all of them are there. Its a good rule.

Athanasius
May 22nd 2008, 04:36 PM
There's still plenty of temptation in falling asleep in a room full of men, women... Boys and girls. I know I once had to visit my church for a Youth all nighter. I ended up walking into a room where people had decided to share sleeping bags... I'll agree there's not the same temptation, but there's still temptation.

JesusMySavior
May 27th 2008, 06:49 AM
I'm surprised at the poll answers.

Why should we tempt ourselves?


That just doesn't make sense!



It's like saying I'm going to not drink but keep alcohol in the house. Makes no sense.

Revinius
May 27th 2008, 01:30 PM
There are 167 people that really should have thought about their answers and educated themselves regarding the Word and even just basic logic before putting them down.

Revinius
Sep 2nd 2008, 04:07 PM
sigh 171.........

Friend of Jesus
Sep 2nd 2008, 08:13 PM
sigh 171.........

Let's hope some of them didn't read the question properly

Athanasius
Sep 2nd 2008, 10:07 PM
Just goes to show you the state of Christianity among young-people... Unfortunately.

Hobbes91
Sep 3rd 2008, 01:42 AM
Imo, yes. I've taken "naps" with girlfriends and nothing sexual has ever happened because I know I have the discipline to resist temptations. Even before I was a Christian I knew that kind of thing shouldn't be done.

Revinius
Sep 3rd 2008, 01:07 PM
Imo, yes. I've taken "naps" with girlfriends and nothing sexual has ever happened because I know I have the discipline to resist temptations. Even before I was a Christian I knew that kind of thing shouldn't be done.

And the non-christian who assumes your sleeping together and puts you in the mental category of hypocrite? Also, Satan is the one who makes you 'think' you are strong. One of the marks of being Christian is knowing how weak you can be....

Hobbes91
Sep 5th 2008, 04:26 AM
And the non-christian who assumes your sleeping together and puts you in the mental category of hypocrite? Also, Satan is the one who makes you 'think' you are strong. One of the marks of being Christian is knowing how weak you can be....

Humble? :confusedWait...I'm confused because I read your response in the "Words for us young people" and you say I should become more dsciplined. I'm self-disciplined well on many thing, but others nto so well, but I excercise this discipline and do my best to abstain from evil. I just don't see something as trivial as taking a nap out on the grassy knoll with my girlfriend as something that I can't handle. We love nature and like to spend time in it, it's more spiritually strengthening and bonding than anything else.

Revinius
Sep 5th 2008, 07:49 AM
Humble? :confusedWait...I'm confused because I read your response in the "Words for us young people" and you say I should become more dsciplined. I'm self-disciplined well on many thing, but others nto so well, but I excercise this discipline and do my best to abstain from evil. I just don't see something as trivial as taking a nap out on the grassy knoll with my girlfriend as something that I can't handle. We love nature and like to spend time in it, it's more spiritually strengthening and bonding than anything else.

Oh theres no problem spending time together in public. But when your spending lots of time alone (eg overnight) then there is too much room for evil from you and others to get in there. Things like rumours and your own desires just make this situation so potentially bad. It's not worth the reputation of yourself and this girl (who you should be honouring) to just go around playing russian roulette with sin.

jh099
Sep 5th 2008, 11:48 PM
I find it interesting that scripture says to resist the devil, but also says to flee sexual immorality.

I'd just as soon not place myself in a situation that leaves so much room for doing things I know I'd regret later.

RightCross
Sep 8th 2008, 04:38 AM
I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having s*x is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?


It's a hard position to be in because it's so "accepted", especially in the college community. I'm a college student as well, so I know where you're coming from with the culture aspect of the whole deal. People are right about honoring the woman. Even though both of your intentions were innocent people would be hard pressed to believe that all you did was nap.

I am not well versed in the Bible and I don't really attend Church, so I can't say anything as to the technicalities or rules.

Everyone will have their opinions, you have to do what you think is right. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Doing what everyone else does and judging based on "common" standards is no way to live your life.

Jane Lane
Sep 24th 2008, 10:20 PM
I often sleep in the same bed as other people, male and female. Never once has a sexual action taken place.

I'm finding it strange that everyone is saying it's okay to get physically closer to members of the same sex. Isn't temptation still there?

Revinius
Sep 24th 2008, 11:02 PM
I often sleep in the same bed as other people, male and female. Never once has a sexual action taken place.

So... are you repenting of that stuff?


I'm finding it strange that everyone is saying it's okay to get physically closer to members of the same sex. Isn't temptation still there?

Yeah but it's also what others may think of you. Because the way you live, your reputation under the gospel is the primary method people can see the change wrought by God. Throw that good reputation out and one may as well move somewhere else because (especially in a university type situation) you're branded a hypocrite. :(

Jane Lane
Sep 24th 2008, 11:57 PM
So... are you repenting of that stuff?

Of course not, I'm doing nothing wrong.


Yeah but it's also what others may think of you. Because the way you live, your reputation under the gospel is the primary method people can see the change wrought by God. Throw that good reputation out and one may as well move somewhere else because (especially in a university type situation) you're branded a hypocrite. :(

People who know me, are aware that I do not partake in sexual acts. People who do not know me, do not know of my sleeping habits.

So this is a non-issue, my reputation is not at stake.

CoffeeCat
Sep 25th 2008, 04:18 AM
I've got an example. In just over a week, my boyfriend's coming to visit me here on campus (I'm living in residence), and he's staying for three days. Quite a few people who have met me here definitely know I'm a Christian.... it's nothing I've hidden from anyone. I live in a hallway of roughly 5 or 6 of us, all girls.

Sure, I COULD have him stay in my room and sleep either on the bed or on the floor while I slept on the opposite one... (it's technically allowed).... but HOW would that LOOK? I can only imagine. I might as well paste a huge "hypocrite" sign over my door even if I was "not doing anything wrong" because in a place like a school residence, what you APPEAR to be doing is what people think you're doing... whether you are or not.

So when he visits, he's staying at night with a guy friend of mine from class. Across campus. And during the day, when my boyfriend and I are hanging out in my room, the door's staying OPEN. Is that extreme? I don't think so. We're NOT worried about temptation. We agreed on the "limits" 4 years ago. Both of us... including him as a newer Christian ( :D!!! ha... had to smile!) are REALLY aware of doing what LOOKS right in a case like this. The alternative.... having him stay here and then trying to attend church with everyone on Sunday morning... is no option at all.

I'd encourage people, if they think "sleeping is FINE if it's JUST sleeping".... to consider contexts that could be VERY harmful to your witness to others. If for no other reason than that, you need to avoid a situation like the one I described. And I shared it because there are a LOT of young people in college and university, away from home, and such things CAN come up.

Revinius
Sep 25th 2008, 12:14 PM
Of course not, I'm doing nothing wrong.

But you said above that you thought it unadvisable?

I think CoffeeCat is right about context and situations that may cause others to stumble.

Jane Lane
Sep 26th 2008, 12:27 PM
But you said above that you thought it unadvisable?

My first post was speaking in generalities, and my second was specific to me. I always think it's fine to just sleep next to another person, but was more questioning some of the hypocrisies some other Christians have.

Athanasius
Sep 26th 2008, 08:00 PM
As a hypocrite (i.e. someone who knows what they're talking about) I'll tell you that sleeping beside/with (not in the sense of the word 'sex') someone of the opposite sex (as I've done many times) might see nothing 'happen', but when people see what you're doing and attach the word 'Christian' to you, then there's a problem.

It's not avoiding an appearance of evil, it's not being above reproach. And hey... Its covered under the word pornea so lets all get our heads on straight and stop playing with technicalities. It's wrong, for one reason or another, it's wrong. If anyone disagrees than they can go back to the Bible, because sorry, this isn't a debateable question.

Jane Lane
Sep 26th 2008, 08:50 PM
As a hypocrite (i.e. someone who knows what they're talking about) I'll tell you that sleeping beside/with (not in the sense of the word 'sex') someone of the opposite sex (as I've done many times) might see nothing 'happen', but when people see what you're doing and attach the word 'Christian' to you, then there's a problem.

It's not avoiding an appearance of evil, it's not being above reproach. And hey... Its covered under the word pornea so lets all get our heads on straight and stop playing with technicalities. It's wrong, for one reason or another, it's wrong. If anyone disagrees than they can go back to the Bible, because sorry, this isn't a debateable question.
But people share beds with members of the same sex, and no one ever questions it. Society needs to get over its false notion of "2 people of opposing sex in bed = sex". Because nothing wrong is taking place, especially if we're unconscious. And the ones who are causing the problems are the ones who make baseless assumptions.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, really need sleep lawl. ^^

<3

Athanasius
Sep 26th 2008, 08:52 PM
But people share beds with members of the same sex, and no one ever questions it. Society needs to get over its false notion of "2 people of opposing sex in bed = sex". Because nothing wrong is taking place, especially if we're unconscious. And the ones who are causing the problems are the ones who make baseless assumptions.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, really need sleep lawl. ^^

<3

People share beds with the same sex, and? If one of those people is gay, then guess what I'd be saying? As it stands, most people aren't attracted to their own sex, hence, no problem.

Jane Lane
Sep 26th 2008, 08:58 PM
People share beds with the same sex, and? If one of those people is gay, then guess what I'd be saying? As it stands, most people aren't attracted to their own sex, hence, no problem.
But you're still saying that the problem is because of an unknown factor being involved.

How can you say that 2 different (man/woman) people shouldn't sleep in the same bed because "No one knows for sure.." when no one ever really knows if they struggle with homosexual thoughts, either?

These societal expectations and norms are very much skewed.

Athanasius
Sep 26th 2008, 09:01 PM
But you're still saying that the problem is because of an unknown factor being involved.

How can you say that 2 different (man/woman) people shouldn't sleep in the same bed because "No one knows for sure.." when no one ever really knows if they struggle with homosexual thoughts, either?

These societal expectations and norms are very much skewed.

Unknown factor? The factor is very known: how other people perceive you.
How can I say that? As Revinius already explained, the Greek word pornea - i.e. Scripture.

Bottom line: you're trying to justify it, sorry, that's not going to line up with scripture.

Jane Lane
Sep 26th 2008, 09:04 PM
Unknown factor? The factor is very known: how other people perceive you.
How can I say that? As Revinius already explained, the Greek word pornea - i.e. Scripture.

Bottom line: you're trying to justify it, sorry, that's not going to line up with scripture.
The factor is wrong, then. Meaning, American society is wrong.

I do not do anything wrong in bed.

Athanasius
Sep 26th 2008, 09:09 PM
The factor is wrong, then. Meaning, American society is wrong.

I do not do anything wrong in bed.

Here's how it works: You profess Christ, you're a witness for Christ. If American society perceives 'X' as being 'X' then that's what you're bound by. If Scripture states 'being above reproach; don't take on any appearance' of evil then you are further bound by two more things:

1. What scripture considers reproachable / evil
2. What society perceives as reproachable / evil

The above is slightly superficial, so don't take it to the extreme, but it gets the point across sufficiently. If people see you sleeping in bed with someone, they're going to jump to conclusions (yes, they will). So then what's the best thing to do? Not sleep in bed with anyone who isn't your... Husband.

Revinius
Sep 27th 2008, 03:09 AM
Let's look at it another way: Is it worth abusing your freedom in Christ to create a stumbling block for many? Because many will stumble. How is it giving Christ glory to create such a block?

I think we all gotta do alot of reassessing in our lives on how we appear to those who both know Christ and those who do not. Because how we live is our major form of witness.

CoffeeCat
Sep 27th 2008, 04:04 AM
Let's look at it another way: Is it worth abusing your freedom in Christ to create a stumbling block for many? Because many will stumble. How is it giving Christ glory to create such a block?

I think we all gotta do alot of reassessing in our lives on how we appear to those who both know Christ and those who do not. Because how we live is our major form of witness.


A great point. Sometimes, we won't get the chance to tell someone we're Christian or MORE importantly, tell them about Christ. Instead, we'll only have the chance to SHOW them a life that's different, a life that's carefully, deliberately lived. The attitudes we have, the things we say, the actions we take -- when we're a Christian and we want to live for Christ, how WE want to live and what WE want to do isn't always very relevant anymore. It's not about us. It's about Christ. It's about whether He'd want us representing Him if we were living lives that very often/continually deliberately went against the very commandments God gave us, just because WE see nothing apparently wrong with what we do.

How we live IS a major form of witness, and sometimes, it's our ONLY witness.

Now, we need to be sensible, for sure. Do we have to walk on eggshells every single day, terrified that if we slip up, we've blown it forever? Of COURSE not. We slip up. We're humans. So a BIG part of that "living witness" is learning forgiveness, humility, repentance -- and showing people how it's possible to turn around. Tough stuff, I know. But we need to do it.

kbm0329
Oct 14th 2008, 06:25 PM
I'm surprised by the results of this poll. Most of you think it's not accepatable?? It seems to me like you're voting on what it may lead to in certain circumstances, not the act itself (which is the question of the poll).

In 1 Timothy 5 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Timothy%205;&version=31;), there is advice given to young widows. It talks about not doing one thing (putting them on a widows list), which can lead to another (becoming "idlers"), which can finally lead to sin (gossips, busybodies).

I believe this principle can be applied to many things.

ilovemetal
Oct 20th 2008, 09:26 PM
Mark 14:38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

it doesn't say put yourself into temptaion on purpose, it says watch and pray so that you won't. we must be weary and not seek out temptaion in any way that can bring us into a sinful life.

this poll should be 100% no.

renthead188
Oct 24th 2008, 06:45 AM
God says to flee temptation, not justify it.

xspinningisfun
Nov 12th 2008, 05:14 PM
I said no. Because temptations can fly.
For me personally, I would never do it. Because I know I will be tempted to do things which I know isn't pleasing to my Maker. I live for God and I try not to live for myself! And when I know that I will be tempted, I try to stay away. But I fall short of the glory of God so many times...soooo much...but with His grace & understanding, He gives me another chance! :]

So I answered no because I know that people can get tempted to do more than just "sleep". You know?

Revinius
Nov 13th 2008, 01:35 AM
sigh i feel really sad for those who think it is acceptable to do such things when there is another wiser choice in the matter. Such a lack of respect for their spouse and for God. Look up the word shamed in the dictionary and understand what you should be feeling right now.

Friend of Jesus
Nov 13th 2008, 05:57 PM
This thread is officially ancient

ilovemetal
Nov 13th 2008, 11:12 PM
This thread is officially ancient

haha, oh yeah, 2003. didn't know this site was that old...

Revinius
Nov 14th 2008, 06:15 AM
shows you how still alive the issue is in people today.

Kudo Shinichi
Nov 14th 2008, 12:07 PM
Just worried that guy will be tempted to do so...http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2010:12-13;&version=31;
http://www.gotquestions.org/sex-before-marriage.html


I recently converted back to Christianity (I guess from agnosticism), and have vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Fellow guys say this is ridiculous, but I'm very firm in this. The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching a movie in my room at college. It was late, and we both fell asleep next to each other. What do you think about sleeping "together" like this? A lot of people I hear say sleeping together but not having s*x is acceptable, and I'm a bit skeptical. What do you think?

lucyrae
Dec 20th 2008, 02:56 AM
I see how it could be innocent and harmless and just loving being close to eachother without anything sexual going on ... however i still think there is something so intimate about sleeping next to someone you care about... it is just special and i think it forms bonds that aren't supposed to be formed until marriage. i think getting to wake up next to the one you love and have that experience and know each other in that way is something amazing and meant to be shared between man and wife. i have had the same experience falling asleep watching a movie with my old boyfriend... it was innocent and sweet and i loved lying so close to him and waking up to his face but i realized even though it was not innappropriate or sexual at all that is an experience i want to save for my husband in the future and i will make a point to be careful when watching movies alone when its late.

hope your having a wonderfull day when ya read this!!!

:0)
lucy-rae

Ixthus
Jan 16th 2009, 03:55 AM
Ok everyone, how 'bout this idea. We all go and pray about it and see what God lays on our hearts.

Revinius
Jan 16th 2009, 04:08 AM
Ok everyone, how 'bout this idea. We all go and pray about it and see what God lays on our hearts.

And read His word which is God speaking.

Friend of Jesus
Jan 16th 2009, 08:38 AM
If the spirit tells you to do something that goes against the word, it's probably not the Holy Spirit that is giving you that feeling.

For instance I prayed for an answer to my current situation yesterday and I recieved the two words that I'd read time and time again in the Bible: "Trust me".

The Spirit of God doesn't go against the word of God. They work in unison!

Ixthus
Jan 17th 2009, 05:28 AM
The poll specifically states "Is "sleeping together" w/o s*x an acceptable behavior?"

I believe it is an acceptable behavior for those that can handle it. Though you must realize that you are putting yourself in a spot where the devil can easily tempt you. In your case where you two fell asleep accidentally I believe is fine. Just remember to put God's will first before anything you do.

Athanasius
Jan 17th 2009, 06:15 AM
Unless you're a born eunuch, you can't handle this.
Excuse my bias, I'm familiar with the situation.

Revinius
Jan 17th 2009, 05:29 PM
The poll specifically states "Is "sleeping together" w/o s*x an acceptable behavior?"

I believe it is an acceptable behavior for those that can handle it. Though you must realize that you are putting yourself in a spot where the devil can easily tempt you. In your case where you two fell asleep accidentally I believe is fine. Just remember to put God's will first before anything you do.

Please rationalise the apparent juxtaposition of your statements. You say: "Just remember to put God's will first before anything you do." yet you seem to contradict that with: "I believe it is an acceptable behavior for those that can handle it". I would assert that a wise Christian knows their complete reliance on God and fruit of that view is a desire to never be unecessarily tempted. Think also of the girls reputation. If you have a daughter would you wish some kid to sleep next to her and put her purity at risk for any reason? What reason would be good enough to be so out of control of your own self?

Think of who the God is who is the father of all girls, and tremble with fear. How dare we, as 'men of God' take risks with anyone we supposedly love.

Ixthus
Jan 18th 2009, 03:16 AM
First off, I'm sorry for jumbling my words around. The act itself is not sin, but the things (in this case possibly sex) that come with it are sinful. So I believe that in his case where they fell asleep accidentally would not be sin.

Athanasius
Jan 18th 2009, 03:19 AM
First off, I'm sorry for jumbling my words around. The act itself is not sin, but the things (in this case possibly sex) that come with it are sinful. So I believe that in his case where they fell asleep accidentally would not be sin.

I'm just wondering, how do you accidently fall asleep beside your girlfriend / boyfriend?

Friend of Jesus
Jan 18th 2009, 09:39 AM
Maybe if it was a hot day and you both got up very early for some reason or another. You both lay down on the sofa for a rest and hey presto, the sandman comes.

Just an example

Athanasius
Jan 18th 2009, 06:46 PM
Maybe if it was a hot day and you both got up very early for some reason or another. You both lay down on the sofa for a rest and hey presto, the sandman comes.

Just an example

Well then that wasn't an accident at all.

Revinius
Jan 19th 2009, 02:23 AM
A man should be more responsible than that. Get to it girly men! :D

SnakeWesker
Jan 19th 2009, 03:36 AM
I agree with the perception of it. If it were me, and let's say a girlfriend of mine lived about an hour away. Then it started snowing really bad and she had to stay over. I'd definitely have her sleep on my downstairs couch so my family didn't think we had done anything. If I had her sleep on my bed and put myself on the couch, it wouldn't matter, because I wake up before everyone else in my family does, so I would be gone when the woke up, and they would still think we had slept together (which could lead them to think other things).

So yes, it sounds mean of me, but I would definitely have to ask her to go downstairs to sleep. And I would hope that she would understand.

Friend of Jesus
Jan 19th 2009, 07:54 AM
It's not very nice of your family if their mistrust stops you from being kind- but meh, fair enough.

SnakeWesker
Jan 19th 2009, 03:00 PM
Well, my brother does it all the time and I know it kills my mother. So I'll do anything to make sure she doesn't think the same thing about myself.

window
Apr 5th 2009, 04:56 PM
I usually do not care too much of what others think, but if anything got even close to being bad, it doesn't help your appearance as a christian and could bring you down. just my opinion

Revinius
Apr 6th 2009, 04:51 AM
I usually do not care too much of what others think, but if anything got even close to being bad, it doesn't help your appearance as a christian and could bring you down. just my opinion

so... you do care... :/

bagofseed
Apr 6th 2009, 05:03 AM
Let me just say let love be your guide.

Athanasius
Apr 6th 2009, 05:25 AM
Let me just say let love be your guide.

Let me just say you'll have to expand on that comment.

matthew7and1
Apr 6th 2009, 05:27 AM
I voted "no" only because it can be a big temptation. That is the only reason!

J_sunshine4Christ
Apr 10th 2009, 09:57 AM
Bottom line...don't tempt fate. Make him sleep on the floor if you insist on having him stay. Actually...just pray about it. Rationalizing usually isn't a good thing. Basically, if you have to question it it's wrong. I've had to learn that too! God Bless!

*Hope*
Apr 12th 2009, 05:38 PM
It seems harmless enough, which is exactly why it's probably harmful, lol. I look forward to falling asleep with my husband, but until then, "sleeping together" would be too risky. I'm afraid we'd end up wanting to do more than just "sleep" ;)

RedBird777
Apr 14th 2009, 03:43 PM
We are told to flee from sexual sin...so since I would definitely be tempted, I would have to flee from that situation FAST. Personally, I would be extremely tempted to do things that aren't right in the eyes of the Lord, so I would say that me sleeping next to a girl in the same bed would be pretty disastrous. The only exception is if I'm in a body cast and I can't move:P.

SweetSomber
Apr 14th 2009, 08:50 PM
I'd say that it's not wrong, but I'd also say avoid it. It's allowing yourself to become too close to the person you're not married too. More than JUST the act of sex should be saved for marriage.

We shouldn't be trying to get as close to doing wrong as we can, without actually doing wrong. We should aiming for the most holy thing to do.

For some people, though, it wouldn't be sexually tempting. But I'd still say it's being too close. (That's from personal experience)

renthead188
Apr 15th 2009, 01:28 PM
I have already replied to this thread and I must admit that I've fallen guilty of the very thing I knew would trip me up. I spent my Spring Break with a friend and I'm afraid that I spent nearly every night in bed with her. We didn't so much as kiss, but just that closeness has left us hurting now that we're apart. The friendship has changed, there's an odd tension that's between us now. It mostly goes unspoken, but it's definetely there.

It feels almost like that wierd after-sex feeling with somebody that you don't know very well. I remember that feeling, it's almost as if you feel suddenly incomplete when they are gone, but you're afraid to admit it because that trusting relationship isn't there. That's why sex should be had when you're married.

So yeah, I've said it before, but now I really say it. Don't do it. It's not worth it. I'm not in a good place right now because of it.

Athanasius
Apr 22nd 2009, 04:42 AM
I have already replied to this thread and I must admit that I've fallen guilty of the very thing I knew would trip me up. I spent my Spring Break with a friend and I'm afraid that I spent nearly every night in bed with her. We didn't so much as kiss, but just that closeness has left us hurting now that we're apart. The friendship has changed, there's an odd tension that's between us now. It mostly goes unspoken, but it's definetely there.

It feels almost like that wierd after-sex feeling with somebody that you don't know very well. I remember that feeling, it's almost as if you feel suddenly incomplete when they are gone, but you're afraid to admit it because that trusting relationship isn't there. That's why sex should be had when you're married.

So yeah, I've said it before, but now I really say it. Don't do it. It's not worth it. I'm not in a good place right now because of it.

It's unfortunate that a lot of people have to 'be there done that' to realize the danger presented. Speaking of myself...

h2jo
Apr 23rd 2009, 11:57 PM
I've been told its like dancing round a cactus plant. You get dangerously close, but you haven't felt the sting of it it. Its just when you make one false move then you will crash right into it. Its better to just move away from the cactus and dance in a safe spot.

So sleeping in bed with your GF is like dancing around sin, you haven't felt the sting yet, but one false move and you'll both go crashing down. Its better for you both to move out of your room and into a public place and make a curfew for yourself.. you both have to be at your own houses at 11pm on weekends and 10pm weekdays. Cactus plants hurt when you fall on them and when you do fall on it you wonder how you could have been so silly. Same thing with sin. It HURTS when you do it and when its done you wonder how on earth you got there. Sin doesn't just happen.. there are subtle little triggers that slowly bring you down. Laying in bed with you GF night after night, watching a movie and suddenly a steamy $ex scene plays.. and the down hill road continues.

Raptor
Apr 24th 2009, 04:13 PM
Buckshot explained the danger to me like this.

When you first start liking a girl, you can't seem to stop yourself from staring, so you draw a line, and say you won't cross it.

---------------------

Eventually, however, you get the gumption to talk to her. You crossed your line, so you draw another line.

-----------------

You won't cross that one. Then you ask her out. Crossed again.

---------------

Then you kiss her.

------------

Then you stay out late with her.

---------

Then you sleep in the same bed as her.

------

Now you can barely see your line. Look how far you are from where you started. This is how sin works. None of the things mentioned are wrong in and of themselves. But you've given up so much ground, what's to stop you from crossing that last line? Nothing at all. I would suggest avoiding this at all costs.

-Raptor, out.

DARKastheRAIN
May 17th 2009, 04:03 AM
There's definately nothing wrong with the sleeping part. I suppose if it makes it harder to resist temptation then you shouldn't do it, but if you can do it comfortably without any problems then I don't see how it's wrong. So it all depends on you I guess.

And I suppose also if she starts to get the wrong idea then maybe you should avoid it for her sake.

Revinius
May 17th 2009, 04:22 PM
There's definately nothing wrong with the sleeping part. I suppose if it makes it harder to resist temptation then you shouldn't do it, but if you can do it comfortably without any problems then I don't see how it's wrong. So it all depends on you I guess.

And I suppose also if she starts to get the wrong idea then maybe you should avoid it for her sake.

Please go back and read through my (and some others) posts regarding this issue and you will 'see why not'. God bless :)

GiL
May 18th 2009, 12:02 PM
Here is my 2 cents:

I read very interesting book in January, called S*x 180. It is all about how to have a relationship as a Christian and it shed's some light on what we are discussing here. In this book it talks about what forms of physicality are acceptable in a relationship and the concluded (and I agree) that it is up to the partner's to decide provided it is scripturally acceptable. What they said to do is when you are in a relationship, you need to set ground rules. When something tempts you or your partner there needs to be communication of this act so that you may both prevent the temptation. Things that were discussed were:
-holding hands
-kissing
-hugging
-cuddling

If my memory serves me correctly sleeping together without s*x was not mentioned but I think it falls under this category. I have read through a ton of these posts and some people keep telling others to look up scripture. I would like to know what scripture specifically tells me and others that we can't sleep with the opposite gender without having s*x. I know temptation has been brought up as a verse but the fact is I have yet to find a verse telling me that, specifically.

I also remember seeing a post saying, along the lines of, "If you are not tempted by this [sleeping w/o s*x] then you are a eunuch."

That right there is an incredible generalization. I will grant that the vast majority of readers on this specific forum and beyond are not and never will be mature enough to do something like this. I do however believe that certain people can handle this act and that is why I voted yes. I, for one, could never handle sleeping together without temptation, just F.Y.I.

In the end I don't think this is really a 'yes or no' type question, I think it is more based off of how you and your partner can handle it as well as how mature the two of you are.

Revinius
May 18th 2009, 12:55 PM
Here is my 2 cents:

I read very interesting book in January, called S*x 180. It is all about how to have a relationship as a Christian and it shed's some light on what we are discussing here. In this book it talks about what forms of physicality are acceptable in a relationship and the concluded (and I agree) that it is up to the partner's to decide provided it is scripturally acceptable. What they said to do is when you are in a relationship, you need to set ground rules. When something tempts you or your partner there needs to be communication of this act so that you may both prevent the temptation. Things that were discussed were:
-holding hands
-kissing
-hugging
-cuddling

If my memory serves me correctly sleeping together without s*x was not mentioned but I think it falls under this category. I have read through a ton of these posts and some people keep telling others to look up scripture. I would like to know what scripture specifically tells me and others that we can't sleep with the opposite gender without having s*x. I know temptation has been brought up as a verse but the fact is I have yet to find a verse telling me that, specifically.

I also remember seeing a post saying, along the lines of, "If you are not tempted by this [sleeping w/o s*x] then you are a eunuch."

That right there is an incredible generalization. I will grant that the vast majority of readers on this specific forum and beyond are not and never will be mature enough to do something like this. I do however believe that certain people can handle this act and that is why I voted yes. I, for one, could never handle sleeping together without temptation, just F.Y.I.

In the end I don't think this is really a 'yes or no' type question, I think it is more based off of how you and your partner can handle it as well as how mature the two of you are.

Read through my posts mate about 'being above reproach and let me know what you think.

GiL
May 18th 2009, 01:05 PM
Read through my posts mate about 'being above reproach and let me know what you think.

And so I stand corrected. I had not ever thought of it that way. I guess to put plainly: There are extremely few people who could handle the temptation and of those few, they are all exposed to the chance of reproach therefore nullifying the act with significant risk.