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Mr. Right, except for...


  • Mr. Right, except for...

    When I answered the knock at the front door of our family home I never expected to see standing there the most handsome man I had ever seen. I mean, to me he was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous and I fell in love with him that very instant. To back track a bit, he had been calling me for a week or more, but would not tell me where he got my phone number. I liked his voice, I liked the way he laughed easily. But I did want to know WHERE he got my number before i would agree to meet him. Let me explain the thoughts running through my head.

    What if he turns out to be someone like that ONE blind date fixed for me by a -- friend? That was a nightmare. First of all, he was rounder than he was tall. And he had bad, bad breath. Like a chicken coop. But worse, he was taking some sort of training to become a Mortician. The entire evening of our blind (and only) date, all he talked about was dead people! How sometimes their arm would suddenly raise and drop. No, I was not willing to go that route again, ever. I even threatened to sue my friend for arranging that date, but she thought he was 'so' nice. So I told her she was welcome to have at him.

    I was thinking, What if this guy on the phone turned out to be not as nice as he sounded? I'd met a couple of those smooth talkers, but later wished I'd had some training in the art of self-defense. Good thing I could kick hard.

    Then I thought, What if someone for a practical joke had plastered my phone number on the door of a stall in a mens rest room? I think I was paranoid after that date with the funeral home guy! Do you see why I needed to know how this man got my phone number? A girl can't be too careful nowadays.

    Anyway, after a week of talking to him on the phone, I finally got the courage to ask Bill what he looked like. He told me, "I weigh 230 pounds, but most of it's muscle. I have freckles, but they go good with my red hair. And you hardly notice my glass eye. It looks real!"
    I was, for once in my life, speechless, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him I was not interested in meeting him, so I made an excuse to get off the phone fast. He called right back. But I just watched the phone as it rang. And rang. The next day, I deliberately was not home when he called. The next day he showed up at my front door. It turned out that some guy whose face I had slapped and told him, "Take me home, NOW" was the one who gave Bill my phone number. He'd told Bill, "She's a nice girl, but if you tell her I gave you her number, she won't talk to you."
    He had that right.

    Fortunately, Bill had been joking about his looks and was trying to be funny. I had surprised him by hanging up in his ear so quickly. He turned out to be the one for me after all. To make a long story short, Bill and I dated for a year and then we were married. I knew I would spend my life with him and I have. Its been over fifty years and we've made it through good times and bad; through happy times and sad. But I confess, there is one thing about him that to this day, I wish I could change. That one thing is that Bill gets his words mixed up.

    I should have took it more seriously when he told me while we were dating, "I had to take my driver's exam twice. I failed the first one because I could not answer the question, Who has the right of way, the driver of a vehicle or a pedi-steri-an?"
    I said, "I don't remember that question on my test. I don't even know what a pedi-steri-an is!"
    He said, "I didn't either, until someone told me that's a person crossing the street. Pedi-steri-ans go from place to place on foot, you know" (He'd meant pedestrians, I figured out.)

    The years passed in front of our eyes and over the years we became Mom and Dad to four children. One evening we were talking to friends in our living room and Bill told our guests, "We got tired of making trips to the library, so we finally bought a set of encyclo-pedophiles for the kids so they could look stuff up at home."

    I told him later, in private so as not to embarrass him, "We bought encyclopedias, Bill."
    He replied, "That's what I said."
    I said, "No Sweetie, you didn't. You said you bought encyclo-pedophiles for the children."
    He said, "Well, they knew what I meant." I hope they knew what he meant.

    Another time when two of our children started running a fever on the same day he commented, "I hope its not that simon vanilla! Its killing people, you know!"
    I asked, "What in the world is simon vanilla?"
    And he explained, "You get it from eatin' eggs."
    I said, "Oh. You mean samonella."
    And he told me, "That's what I said."

    I don't want to give the impression that he is a bad man. Or stupid. He's actually not. He's made a wonderful father and husband, and he is a good, decent, Godly man. Everyone looks up to him and respects him, especially our children. And with the gray now at his temples and his gold rimmed glasses, well, that just gives him a distinguished appearance. I tell him, "Honey, you look like a college professor."

    If he only didn't get his words mixed up...(sigh)

    Like the time when the Wholesale Grocery Distributor where he had worked for twenty-five years was going out of business. The company was liquidating their stock and gave the workers lots and lots of groceries rather than throw good food away. So we had plenty of all kinds of food which we shared with family, friends, and neighbors. One particular day he brought home thirty one half gallons of Orange Juice. That's right. Thirty jugs of juice! We were calling everyone we knew to come and get some orange juice. Our neighbor across the road drove over to pick up 4 jugs, and he told her, "I was afraid I might defend you by offering you the juice."
    That kind woman put on her most serious face and bless her heart, replied, "Oh, believe me, you have not defended me at all." She also gave me a knowing smile, so I didn't bother to correct his English that time.

    I used to hope he would out grow his word problem, which to him is not a problem. If everyone around him gets tickled at things he says, he just laughs at himself along with them. He always did like being the 'class clown.' No, his way of talking does not bother him at all. Once in a while, it doesn't hardly bother me either. I'm starting to get used to his way of talking. There was this one time though, that he embarrassed me nearly to death.

    We were sitting in church. We go to a church of about ninety or one hundred people where everyone knows everyone and new folks are welcomed in like family members. They had just passed the offering plate and our Pastor asked, "Before today's sermon, is there anyone here who would like to give a testimony?" The next thing I knew, my Bill was on his feet and testifying.
    I don't recall all he said in that testimony, but I do remember he said, "Our four kids were young, and we were all gathered in our living room around the coffee table, doing family abortions..."

    Believe me, I heard THAT! Heads all over that church turned in our direction and each had a puzzled look. I felt like crawling under a pew. But I managed to sit there, looking down at my hands in my lap until he finished and sat down.
    Then I stood up. I said, "Pastor, we never did gather around our coffee table in the living room to do family abortions. I think Bill meant to say family DEVOTIONS." Well Sir, that whole congregation exploded in laughter. With my dear husband laughing louder than anyone.

    I've learned over the years, ladies, that even Mr. Right is never Mr. Perfect.

    • biblegirl
      biblegirl commented
      Editing a comment
      Re: Article: Mr. Right, except for...

      True. There is no perfect except in the Lord, Jesus Christ.

      Thanks for sharing your story.

    • biblegirl
      biblegirl commented
      Editing a comment
      Re: Article: Mr. Right, except for...

      I had to re read this touching story. I'm hoping that diggindeeper is finding comfort after her loss of her very special man.

    • Diggindeeper
      Diggindeeper commented
      Editing a comment
      Re: Article: Mr. Right, except for...

      Originally posted by biblegirl
      I had to re read this touching story. I'm hoping that diggindeeper is finding comfort after her loss of her very special man.
      Thank you so much for coming back and reading this again! It's been 4 years now, and I still miss him every day of my life. But I did do better this year when our anniversary date rolled onto the calendar. (April 20th) That is my worst day of the whole year....people should not have to see those 'anniversary dates' happen, after they lose the love of their life.

      On that day, I don't really want to talk on the phone or see anyone or go anywhere. But this year, 2 of my four children showed up out of the blue. One son and his little wife 'just happened' to drop by and visited for a while, and later that afternoon, another son, his wife and daughter brought me a meal from Cracker Barrel. I would have had left overs, warmed up, so that was nice of them.

      He was really a good Godly man and one of a kind. I'm glad you understand that he really was a 'very special man.' Thank you for commenting again. I really do appreciate it.
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