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  • Need Advice: Confessing Sins to Others (moved from CR)

    Hi All. I was just wondering what everyone thought on the subject of when you should confess your sins to others. Should confession always be something that is between you and God? Or, if it involves someone else (even if they may not know it) do we need to confess our sin to them as well to be forgiven?

  • #2
    I do not believe that confession to others is a condition of salvation. Accepting the blood of Jesus, his sacrifice is what allows us to live with him and the Father forever. Confessing that we are sinners and in need of a Savior is how we accept his precious gift. As far as the individual sins, Jesus knows your sins, but what a tremendously good thing it is to talk to him openly about our sins. It gives us freedom from guilt, gratitude for the gift, and humility when dealing with others.

    I also believe that confessing to a mentor, 12 step sponser, or clergy is very helpful in the process of defeating and healing from signature sins and addictions. In this world we are as sick as our secrets. Now that does not mean we have to shout them from the roof tops, but it is very freeing and helpful in changing.

    May God bless you on your journey.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't recall the Word stating that we need to confess our "sins" to one another. It does say in James 5 that we need to confess our "trespasses" to one another, however. Trespasses and sins are two different things, IMO. When the Word is talking about trespasses I think it is in regard to us trespassing against other people. So, when you trespass against another person you need to confess it to them. Not all sin, however, is a trespass against another person.
      "What you do does not define who you are; it's who you are that defines what you do."

      -- Dr. Neil T. Anderson

      Comment


      • #4
        Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

        James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
        Slug1--out

        ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
          Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

          James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
          If you have a stronghold or something you have/are struggling with it can certainly help to speak about it with other brothers and sisters in Christ.

          Ephesians 5:11-14
          And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

          “ Awake, you who sleep,
          Arise from the dead,
          And Christ will give you light.”
          "What you do does not define who you are; it's who you are that defines what you do."

          -- Dr. Neil T. Anderson

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Gregg View Post
            I do not believe that confession to others is a condition of salvation. Accepting the blood of Jesus, his sacrifice is what allows us to live with him and the Father forever. Confessing that we are sinners and in need of a Savior is how we accept his precious gift. As far as the individual sins, Jesus knows your sins, but what a tremendously good thing it is to talk to him openly about our sins. It gives us freedom from guilt, gratitude for the gift, and humility when dealing with others.

            I also believe that confessing to a mentor, 12 step sponser, or clergy is very helpful in the process of defeating and healing from signature sins and addictions. In this world we are as sick as our secrets. Now that does not mean we have to shout them from the roof tops, but it is very freeing and helpful in changing.

            May God bless you on your journey.
            I agree we don't need to shout our confessions from the roof tops and I don't believe we are required to confess to men. However, when confessing to God, I think is is extremely important to lay it ALL out before Him, vocally. When David confessed to God his sin with Bathsheba and setting her husband up to be killed in battle, he confessed it all openly, and without reserve. The Lord already knows our sins, so obviously the confession is not for His sake. I believe it is for our own sake to acknowledge precisely what we have done and the harm it has caused. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, some of my previous behavior has been almost unspeakable and ridden with guilt. I think laying it out before the Lord has helped me forgive myself and let God know that I take responsibility for the things I've done and the people I've hurt. In this way, we can go forward and not repeat te sin. If we hide it from ourselves by glossing it over somewhat, it's possible to repeat it if we don't look at it and confess the whole thing with all truth. Am I making sense?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
              Healing for me began when I began to confess sins to others so they could pray for me. In my case it was all sin:

              James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
              Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by VerticalReality View Post
                If you have a stronghold or something you have/are struggling with it can certainly help to speak about it with other brothers and sisters in Christ.

                Ephesians 5:11-14
                And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

                “ Awake, you who sleep,
                Arise from the dead,
                And Christ will give you light.”
                That's exactly what it was when I was bound with my fantasy lust... until I began to fight it with confession to others and now testimony of my freedom through Jesus Christ... it ruled for many years. Jesus also healed my relationship with my wife after putting up with me (sinning) for 20.5 of our 22 years of marriage.
                Slug1--out

                ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by crystalbrite View Post
                  Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.
                  Not if Jesus is allowed to be in control.
                  Slug1--out

                  ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
                    Not if Jesus is allowed to be in control.
                    Okay, but what if the guy who was cheated on is not a believer, his feelings will not be hurt? No damage will be done by exposing the whole thing?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by crystalbrite View Post
                      Okay, the Word does say to do this, and I have done it before. Unfortunately, the person didn't forgive me but actually reacted with persecution worse than my original tresspass! Another thing, sometimes confessing a tresspass can result in unnecssary hurt for the one you are confessing to. For example, what if a guy had an affair with his best friend's wife and later confessed it to him? I think some things are better left unsaid.
                      There is a big big difference in confessing and making amends. It is only after we confess to a mentor, clergy, sponser, or counselor that we begin to make amends. We can pray and seek counsel on the ones that are going to add hurt to another.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by crystalbrite View Post
                        Okay, but what if the guy who was cheated on is not a believer, his feelings will not be hurt? No damage will be done by exposing the whole thing?
                        It'll leave an open door in a spiritual sense, such a hidden sin will do that and no one will heal. Hurt may happen in the example you gave as authority is given to satan until all sin is confessed and then Jesus can step in to heal. Until then, spiritually... satan has a playground to exploit and assign as many demons as he wants to hinder the spiritual relationship all involved can/will have with Jesus.

                        Don't think of this in the flesh, think of it spiritually.

                        Believer or not (in the example)... satan will have unlimited tags in this open season of hidden sin and it's up to the sinner to end the season, or not.
                        Slug1--out

                        ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
                          It'll leave an open door in a spiritual sense, such a hidden sin will do that and no one will heal. Hurt may happen in the example you gave as authority is given to satan until all sin is confessed and then Jesus can step in to heal. Until then, spiritually... satan has a playground to exploit and assign as many demons as he wants to hinder the spiritual relationship all involved can/will have with Jesus.

                          Don't think of this in the flesh, think of it spiritually.

                          Believer or not (in the example)... satan will have unlimited tags in this open season of hidden sin and it's up to the sinner to end the season, or not.
                          But can't we confess before the Lord and allow Him to heal the situation without burdening the one who was wronged without him knowing he has been tresspassed upon? I really have to wonder what is the good of telling him when the only result for him will be pain. I'm sure it will greatly alleviate the conscience of the one who did the wrong, but it won't make the victim feel better to know the truth. Wouldn't it just be better to go forward, sin no more, and let the victim go on being happy never knowing he's been wronged?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Gregg View Post
                            There is a big big difference in confessing and making amends. It is only after we confess to a mentor, clergy, sponser, or counselor that we begin to make amends. We can pray and seek counsel on the ones that are going to add hurt to another.
                            Okay, so we don't necessarily need to confess to the person we tresspassed against, but we do need to seek counsel and make amends. Okay, I'm on board with that!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by crystalbrite View Post
                              But can't we confess before the Lord and allow Him to heal the situation without burdening the one who was wronged without him knowing he has been tresspassed upon? I really have to wonder what is the good of telling him when the only result for him will be pain. I'm sure it will greatly alleviate the conscience of the one who did the wrong, but it won't make the victim feel better to know the truth. Wouldn't it just be better to go forward, sin no more, and let the victim go on being happy never knowing he's been wronged?
                              OK, so I'm straight... who sinned and who isn't being confessed to?

                              If I read this right one cheated against their spouse... the one that cheated then confesses to God, leaving the spouse unaware... correct?

                              The Bible says a man and women who are married is "ONE BODY". If one cheats the other is open to spiritual attack "until" the door is closed by confessing and then forgiveness is given to remove the authority satan will have until this happens. Forgiveness must be all around.

                              What's to stop satan from using this authority and tempt the unsuspecting spouse from cheating themselves cause God has not been able to step in and close the door once all is forgiven?

                              Then you have 2 who cheated without the other spouse knowing... thus the playground of an open door.

                              Believe me when I say that satan DOES NOT want this door closed and will do all he can to cause the cheater from ever confessing. He does this to KEEP that door open and freely work over this "one body". One may confess to God but can be stricken with guilt for as long as that door remains open. Guilt is from the enemy and it destroys, causing fear to confess to the other and thus never closing the door... allow conviction to reign and this will lead to the right choice.

                              Look, I'll tell you this... confession does NOT remove consequences... it only makes healing possible and this is ONLY when full confession happens.

                              If God is in control then their is restoration... tough in a situation with 1/2 the body, not faithful to God though.
                              Slug1--out

                              ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                              Comment

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