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  • Here is why I don't go to Church

    I've never told anyone about this but I used to go to church.I went alone,my Husband is a Christian but for some reason he wouldn't go with me.I went for several Sundays but as soon as the first music started I would start crying and for the life of me I couldn't stop.This was thru the whole service!I even tried biting my tongue hard to get my mind on something else.It was really quiet embarrassing.
    I couldn't even hear what the preacher was saying cause I was too busy wiping my eyes and nose.After a few Sundays I just stopped going.I watch Joel Olsteen and Charles Stanley every sunday morning with my Husband. I really want to be in Church but.......what do I do? I can't even listen to gospel music in my car going to WalMart without tuning up! What is the matter with me?
    I hope someone can help me with this issue.
    Annie
    There is nothing like hearing the prayer of a little child

  • #2
    I think that maybe you are being convicted by the Holy Spirit. I think that maybe, even if you believe that you are saved that you, and I'm just guessing here, are carrying around a burden of guilt.

    Please read the story about king David and Bathsheba in your bible. God will deal with this for you if you will let him.

    Sometimes that hardest person to forgive is ourselves. God has washed you as clean as snow and your past is forgotten. Believe, have faith, forgive others and forgive yourself.

    Also, I posted this as a thread but maybe it will help you if you read it here.

    What Is Real Freedom?
    Liberating Grace
    "If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed."—John 8:36, NIV

    by Tony Evans

    We often hear about the great liberating Christian life, but we don't have to go far to find Christian slaves—slaves to habits, circumstances, relationships. People are slaves to things they don't want to be slaves to, but they don't seem to know how to be set free.

    Freedom is tied to our spiritual identity. If we don't know who we are, we will never become what we are meant to be. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, "If any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away ... new things have come."(1) When we trust Christ as our Savior, we are given a new nature. The new nature is the nucleus of who we are.

    This new nature came through birth. We are born again,(2) and when that happens, we get new life—a new identity. Our spiritual identity is tied to our new birth, not our performance.

    So, if we are new creatures, why do we still struggle against sin? Why are we slaves to old habits? We can't blame it on the devil. The Apostle Paul makes it clear in the Letter to the Galatians that the battle is between the flesh and the spirit.(3)

    Most people, seeking to resolve this conflict through returning to the Law, think, "If I can keep a set of rules, I can become spiritual." But the Law, as great as it is, can only tell us the problem. The Law cannot fix the problem.

    This morning, when we got up and looked in the mirror, the mirror revealed how messy our hair was. But we didn't then take the mirror off the wall and brush our hair with it. The mirror's not made for that.

    Whenever we as Christians retreat to legalism to fix the problem, we are asking the Law to do what the Law is not made to do. Paul wrote, "You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you? Are you so foolish to think you can be saved by grace and then be victorious by law?"(4) That's called, "Backward, Christian soldiers."

    A woman got married to a man who had a list of 25 things the perfect wife would do. Every week he would check off on his list the things that she had done right. It wasn't long before she was very unhappy. Then her husband died, and after a time she married again. Her second husband didn't have a list, but she found that she was fulfilling the list of her first husband. Her behavior wasn't dictated by a list; it was motivated by a relationship.

    When we come to Christ, we are no longer under the Law; we are in relationship with Him.

    So if the Law does not set us free, if we cannot retreat to keeping the Ten Commandments to find freedom, then where do we find our liberation?

    In one word: Grace.

    Grace is the inexhaustible supply of God, doing for us what we can never do for ourselves. It may be the greatest single word in the New Testament.

    Grace is different from mercy. Mercy is when a police officer pulls us over for speeding, but doesn't give us a ticket. Grace is when the police officer pulls us over, doesn't give us a ticket, and then gives us a check for $500.




    Mercy is when God doesn't give us what we deserve. Grace is when God gives us something we don't deserve. And He will give us more than enough grace. Second Corinthians 9:8 says, "God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed."(5) We will have enough to get us through anything we face.

    How do we put to use the supply of grace that God has given us? By faith.

    Faith is acting on the certainty that God is telling the truth (and, of course, He is). Faith says, "I believe that what God says, He is able to perform. I believe it, and I will act on it."

    This means we need to develop a faith focus. We need to change what we look at. The way to be free of whatever it is that entangles us is to run the race, keeping our eyes on Jesus.(6)

    The Law focuses us on what's wrong with us. But grace focuses on what Christ has done for us. Fixing our eyes on Jesus is the way to stay untangled.

    What makes this more than just the power of positive thinking? The Holy Spirit. Our power for living comes from the Holy Spirit of God. He helps us to do what we could not do in our own strength. In Galatians 5 we read about the fruit of the Spirit and the battle with the flesh: "Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."(7)

    We don't need to give in to temptation. We can say, "Lord, God, I am tempted to do something that will not please You. I don't have the power not to do it. Therefore, by an act of faith, I will lean on Your Spirit and ask You not to allow me to do what I want to do. Please fill me so that I do what You want me to do right now."

    One day I was in an airport, rushing to catch a plane. I was sweating and puffing when I looked to my right to see a man walking half as fast as I was, but going faster. He was walking on a moving sidewalk. As we walk in the Spirit, the Spirit becomes like a moving sidewalk. When we walk in the Spirit, He comes underneath us and bears us along. We're still walking, but we walk depending on Him; we don't walk independently of Him.

    When we learn to live in dependence on the Spirit,(8) we don't need to depend on obeying rules to gain God's favor. It's not that the rules are bad, but the relationship has taken over. We walk by grace, not by the Law. We can take a deep breath and enjoy victory.
    Day by day
    Oh Dear Lord
    Three things I pray
    To see thee more clearly
    Love thee more dearly
    Follow thee more nearly
    Day by day

    Comment


    • #3
      Church is not a building where you go listen to music and some preacher guy talk about God. The church is the body of Christ, the ekklesia, the assemly of the called out ones. It is the people, the believers, gathered together in Christ. Find a group of Christians that has small home group meetings or other meetings besides the big Sunday morning gathering or see if you can get together with one or two sisters and read the Bible together. I see you are in TX. You don't have enough posts for private messages, but when you do, I can send you some groups that you can try meeting with.
      ...be strengthened with power through His Spirit into the inner man, that Christ may make His home in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be full of strength to apprehend with all the saints what the breadth and length and height and depth are and to know the knowledge-surpassing love of Christ, that you may be filled unto all the fullness of God. Eph. 3:16-19

      Comment


      • #4
        Peacewithin

        Dear friend....

        It may or may not be conviction, but the Holy Spirit is definitely calling to the deepest depths within you. There is no shame in tears or in brokenness. Brokenness gets rid of the hard shell that we build around us to protect us from hurt and pain and allows the Holy Spirit's touch to reach down into where we need to be touched the most. In a number of places, the Word says that God is "near unto those who are of a broken and contrite spirit"....that God knows the proud afar off, but He is near those who are broken.....

        Ps 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

        Ps 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise

        Ps 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

        The Holy Spirit showed me a mental "vision" one time. I saw a brightly shining light which I understood to be the light of God within me. Everyone could see the light, and it put darkness to flight. But every day, as daily life happened, and frustrations and daily routines came and went, a thin, translucent membrane began to form around the light in the shape of an egg. If I came to the Lord to break that membrane on a daily basis, then nothing kept the light from shining. But if I didn't, the following day, another layer of membrane formed around the previous one and the light became a little dimmer. The membrane was still thin and easily breakable at that point. As days went by without it being broken, more membranes formed around the previous ones, and the light became dimmer and dimmer and dimmer, until finally there was a shell around the light that was no longer translucent, and the light could no longer be seen. Once the shell becomes solid, it is harder and more painful to be broken. If we allow the Lord to KEEP us broken, then we never get hard and God's presence is constantly near to us to sustain us and carry us and to shine out through us so that others can see His light.

        So my dear, don't be ashamed of your tears. It's the presence of your Father who loves you, touching your heart....maybe with conviction...and maybe not. If it is conviction and there is something you need to get right with Him, let me encourage you to do it quickly. But don't allow your spirit to become hard....don't allow that shell to form. There is something about tears that is very cathartic and healing and cleansing. It's like a "shower for the soul". The gentle touch of the Spirit upon a soft heart is the most wonderful thing there is. If you will allow His touch and allow Him to keep you broken, you will come to LOVE brokenness and embrace it and you will come to know Him in a very special way.

        May He touch you in a very special way

        Hoot
        Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assisi
        No reserve (from God, no holding back)
        No retreat (from God, no turning back)
        No regrets (from God, no looking back)

        Comment


        • #5
          I just wanted to tell you that i understand. I don't do it every Sunday, but it doesn't take much to make me cry in church either. I disagree with what these folks said about conviction. It's not like that, is it? It's as if you are just so overwhelmed to be in the presence of God, that it just touches your heart in a wonderful way. They are tears of joy, and at the same time tears of heartbreak when you think of what He did for us, and sometimes they may be tears of unspeakable grattitude.

          I have an 8 year old who does the same. It's the sweetest thing. At night, before our regular bedtime story, I'll either talk to them about a Bible story, or read to them from a wonderful children's Bible that they have. If I talk about Jesus, and the love that He has for us or how He died for us, then this little boy will just let the flood of tears start flowing. It's not conviction, it's a heart that's so enormously touched by the Saviour that he can't think of Him without shedding tears. I've learned to be careful about how i say things when i'm speaking to him of our Lord. I try to keep it upbeat, for my own selfish reasons. If he cries, I cry. Lol.

          But it's a beautiful thing, and nothing to be ashamed of. The only person you should care about what they think is God. What do you think He thinks of your tears? I'm pretty sure He thinks that you have a beautiful heart, and is touched by them.

          God Bless
          stacie
          If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by peacewithin View Post
            I've never told anyone about this but I used to go to church.I went alone,my Husband is a Christian but for some reason he wouldn't go with me.I went for several Sundays but as soon as the first music started I would start crying and for the life of me I couldn't stop.This was thru the whole service!I even tried biting my tongue hard to get my mind on something else.It was really quiet embarrassing.
            I couldn't even hear what the preacher was saying cause I was too busy wiping my eyes and nose.After a few Sundays I just stopped going.I watch Joel Olsteen and Charles Stanley every sunday morning with my Husband. I really want to be in Church but.......what do I do? I can't even listen to gospel music in my car going to WalMart without tuning up! What is the matter with me?
            I hope someone can help me with this issue.
            Annie
            Invest in some tissues and find a church where they don't look at you askance for shedding tears in the presence of your awesome Lord.

            Personally, I can't for the life of me figure out how so many people sit like dead statues when worshiping the Lord who saved them.
            My Blog

            Comment


            • #7
              Personally, if I were sitting in a building with other believers worshiping the Lord and absolutely no emotion was evident anywhere, I think I would be a little concerned. I'm not saying everyone needs to be balling their eyes out all the time or running the aisles or anything, but I don't see how you could hold back emotion all the time. Our faith certainly isn't based totally on emotion, but when the power and presence of the Lord is evident, emotion is going to be inevitable, IMO.
              "What you do does not define who you are; it's who you are that defines what you do."

              -- Dr. Neil T. Anderson

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by peacewithin View Post
                I hope someone can help me with this issue.
                Annie

                Maybe try going after the music is over....slip in when he starts preaching?

                Not real 'spiritual' advice, but maybe a way to avoid the emotion so you can get under the Word.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You have all been most helpful.Stacie, your right with what you said in your post. I am just so moved when I'm in the Lords House and when I hear singing about him , I just can't stop the tears. Thank you all very much!
                  Annie
                  There is nothing like hearing the prayer of a little child

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Blessed

                    I don't claim to know why you cry, but it's certainly not bad! Jesus felt emotion, that we read in the gospels. I agree that i wish more people 'felt' anything during services and weren't statues - but i also dislike, and i realise its a personal thing, people losing control and enjoying too much. I feel they aren't listerning and sharing, it's more an ego trip - look at me. This doesn't apply to you.
                    I would love to share with people who cried sometimes. People in my local churches just want to go and 'do the service' and go home. There is no love for fellow worshippers - but lots of back biting/ gossip.
                    That person who's name says something like - there are no churches, but read his word - thats my position.
                    1 Corinthians 1:12-13 Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos: and I of Cephas; and I of Christ.

                    Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptised in the name of Paul?

                    KJV

                    May the power of the Spirit of our God unite us. SofTy.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If it is any consolation..I tend to crank up the tears quite often at church..especialy when we join to gether in songs to praise the Lord, I am simply "awed" with a profound sense of joy, celebrating and praising Christ.

                      Just bring tissues..and sing loud and proud..(smile)..there are lot's of folks who become choked up.. have seen men "tear up" ..my own son's do..especially the "Marine", lol..which start's a chain reaction with his brothers..it's just raw honesty of emotion..at not a bad thing at all..

                      You might want to invest in some waterproof mascera...it helps from distracting others when you get raccoon eyes!
                      "On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand." My Hope Is Built on Nothing Less, Edward Mote

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Amazedgrace21 View Post
                        have seen men "tear up" ..my own son's do..
                        I tend to sob like a little sissy girl from time to time, and I ain't afraid to admit it!

                        No offense to sissy girls . . .
                        "What you do does not define who you are; it's who you are that defines what you do."

                        -- Dr. Neil T. Anderson

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Dear peacewithin,

                          All you need to know is this. Everything that we believe and need as Christians is found at the cross of Jesus.

                          1 Corinthians 2:2
                          For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and him crucified.

                          LUKE 9:23
                          If any man (or woman) will come after me, let him (or her) deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.

                          MATTHEW 10:38
                          And he (or she) who takes not his (or her) cross and follows after me, is not worthy of me.

                          LUKE 14:27
                          And whosoever does not his (or her) cross and come after me, can not be my Disciple.

                          Please do not take what I am about to say as Judging. It is not. It is warning. Joel Osteen has written a bunch of so called Christian self help books on how make a better you. These books are in violation to LUKE 9:23.Also this same man removed the cross from his church because he did not peoplpe to be offended by it. This puts Mr. Osteen in the catagory of Matthew 10:38. Luke 14:27 applies to all who are refered to in Matt 10:38. What I am about to share is the real Gospel. I will not quote verses, but I will give their addresses.

                          1. All haved sinned (Romans 3:23)
                          2. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23)
                          3. Jesus took our wages by dyingon the cross (Hebrews 9:12, Colossians 2:14)
                          4. Confess Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that Jesus died and rose again (Romans 10:9-10).

                          I am not trying to imply that you are not saved, I am just trying to show that what Jesus did at the cross is the the central point to what we believe as Christians. I am not teaching that Jesus is still dead. He is not. He rose from the dead 3 days later.

                          "The Lord Jesus Christ is the source of all things we recieve from God, while the cross is the means by which all these things are given to us"
                          -Rev. Jimmy Swaggart.

                          Remember this formula
                          1. FOCUS: The Lord Jesus Christ (St. John 14:6)
                          2. OBJECT OF FAITH: Cross of Christ (Romans 6:3-5)
                          3. POWER SOURCE: Holy Spirit (or Holy Ghost) (Romans 8:1-2, 11)
                          4. RESULTS: Victory (Romans 6:14)

                          Formula 2
                          1. FOCUS: Works (Ephesians 2:8-9)
                          2. OBJECT OF FAITH: Performance (Romans 7:9)
                          3. POWER SOURCE: Self (Luke 9:23)
                          4. RESULTS: defeat (Galatians 5:4).

                          I hope that this helps you. For more information of the true doctrine of the cross, listen to the Sonlife Radio station in your area or go to www.jsm.org. Both are ministries of Jimmy Swaggart. This ministry preaches the truth of God's Holy Word.

                          Yours faithfully,
                          TADDY

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            AMEN.

                            Beautiful posts here!

                            Originally posted by Whispering Grace View Post
                            Invest in some tissues and find a church where they don't look at you askance for shedding tears in the presence of your awesome Lord.

                            Personally, I can't for the life of me figure out how so many people sit like dead statues when worshiping the Lord who saved them.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by taddy View Post
                              Dear peacewithin,

                              All you need to know is this. Everything that we believe and need as Christians is found at the cross of Jesus.

                              1 Corinthians 2:2
                              For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and him crucified.

                              LUKE 9:23
                              If any man (or woman) will come after me, let him (or her) deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.

                              MATTHEW 10:38
                              And he (or she) who takes not his (or her) cross and follows after me, is not worthy of me.

                              LUKE 14:27
                              And whosoever does not his (or her) cross and come after me, can not be my Disciple.

                              Please do not take what I am about to say as Judging. It is not. It is warning. Joel Osteen has written a bunch of so called Christian self help books on how make a better you. These books are in violation to LUKE 9:23.Also this same man removed the cross from his church because he did not peoplpe to be offended by it. This puts Mr. Osteen in the catagory of Matthew 10:38. Luke 14:27 applies to all who are refered to in Matt 10:38. What I am about to share is the real Gospel. I will not quote verses, but I will give their addresses.

                              1. All haved sinned (Romans 3:23)
                              2. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23)
                              3. Jesus took our wages by dyingon the cross (Hebrews 9:12, Colossians 2:14)
                              4. Confess Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that Jesus died and rose again (Romans 10:9-10).

                              I am not trying to imply that you are not saved, I am just trying to show that what Jesus did at the cross is the the central point to what we believe as Christians. I am not teaching that Jesus is still dead. He is not. He rose from the dead 3 days later.

                              "The Lord Jesus Christ is the source of all things we recieve from God, while the cross is the means by which all these things are given to us"
                              -Rev. Jimmy Swaggart.

                              Remember this formula
                              1. FOCUS: The Lord Jesus Christ (St. John 14:6)
                              2. OBJECT OF FAITH: Cross of Christ (Romans 6:3-5)
                              3. POWER SOURCE: Holy Spirit (or Holy Ghost) (Romans 8:1-2, 11)
                              4. RESULTS: Victory (Romans 6:14)

                              Formula 2
                              1. FOCUS: Works (Ephesians 2:8-9)
                              2. OBJECT OF FAITH: Performance (Romans 7:9)
                              3. POWER SOURCE: Self (Luke 9:23)
                              4. RESULTS: defeat (Galatians 5:4).

                              I hope that this helps you. For more information of the true doctrine of the cross, listen to the Sonlife Radio station in your area or go to www.jsm.org. Both are ministries of Jimmy Swaggart. This ministry preaches the truth of God's Holy Word.

                              Yours faithfully,
                              TADDY
                              Taddy,
                              Thank you for your post.I am fixing to step on toes and I'm sorry but when you mention Jimmy Swaggart I get so turned off.I'm sorry but I put him right up there with Jim Baker and Benny Hinn.I think he is a fraud just like them.
                              There is nothing like hearing the prayer of a little child

                              Comment

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