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  • Help me through the next 23 days

    I need help making it though the next 23 days. Nov. 19th is my vote night for the F.D. Most people get voted on. Doing this has become a major part of my life. I have abandonment and rejection issues and the people on the dept. have become like a family to me. Most of them have said I have nothing to worry about. I can't seem to get calmed down. I'm starting to have nightmares about not getting voted on, I feel like the anxiety/panic is starting to flare, and Im scared that I"m starting to make myself sick, I've been getting neasous, and on the verge of tears. This may not seem inportant to some and they may say it's as simple as just trust God. But I am having major problems. I have accepted this as my purpose, as my identity, as finally having a reason to hold my head up. Please help me and please pray I get on.


    In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC

  • #2
    Julie,

    I can identify with you especially when I was younger.
    From the little I have been on here lately, I can see this is something you love and see how important it is to you.

    I 'hate' for you to be feeling sick; please try not to worry too much sweetie. I'm not saying this lightly cause I know it's hard. Do happy stuff this weekend if you can and I know you're praying bout it.

    I will keep you in prayer, promise!!
    9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

    PRAYERS FOR MIEKE AND CHARLES

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    • #3
      Originally posted by rabidchipmunk View Post
      I need help making it though the next 23 days. Nov. 19th is my vote night for the F.D. Most people get voted on. Doing this has become a major part of my life. I have abandonment and rejection issues and the people on the dept. have become like a family to me. Most of them have said I have nothing to worry about. I can't seem to get calmed down. I'm starting to have nightmares about not getting voted on, I feel like the anxiety/panic is starting to flare, and Im scared that I"m starting to make myself sick, I've been getting neasous, and on the verge of tears. This may not seem inportant to some and they may say it's as simple as just trust God. But I am having major problems. I have accepted this as my purpose, as my identity, as finally having a reason to hold my head up. Please help me and please pray I get on.

      Hang in there, hon. I'll be keeping you in prayer.
      Our destiny is to find our identity within the circumference of His identity--to express His nature, character, etc. ever revealing more of Him. ~ R&D Prinzing

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      • #4
        My heart's pounding and my temples hurt so bad from crying in the shower. I need to talk to someone, but I can't have it get back to chief. I don't know if a debriefer would talk to me about something like this. My regular counselor doesn't understand in my opinion. There is a lady assistant chief in another jurisdriction where we recently went for a module. She was really nice, came over to me and started telling me about how she was treated when she first got into it and how now she's assistant chief or regular chief. But would I just call her up and say hey remember me from the class? i really need to talk to someone who understands.? Cuz right now it doesn't seem like I'll make the 23/22 days, I don't even want to eat and I get to feeling like throwing up and I know I'm not drinking enough. It's like doing this is my reason for living, I want to make the vote so badly.


        In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC

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        • #5
          Julie - the people you are worried about will be the first ones who would come to your rescue in a fire, right? You trust them with that, don't you? Trust them with the training too.

          The one thing I noticed when my son joined the fire department was that the people he was making friends with at the department were the ones pulling for him - they knew it was important to him (my son) by the way he studied and trained ... if there was something they thought he was weak in, they'd help him get better at it. If your friends at the department think you're going to do fine ... then you will - if they didn't they'd be telling you what you needed to work on to succeed. They want the new recruits to succeed - especially if they're seeing that they give their all to learn the ropes!!

          Fire fighters are a family, this is not something that only you are feeling; who do you rely on when there is a fire? You have to rely on each other to keep each other alive to get the job done safely.

          If you're really worried, maybe you could ask an older firefighter if there is anything you should be working on - any areas you're weak on - I bet the chief wouldn't be upset if he heard you asking that!! I'm telling you - these people want you to succeed!! It really made an impression on me how the FFs here pulled together to get my son through.

          I will be praying for you this next month!! Keep us updated!!
          "He comforts us in all our trouble, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in every trouble, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Cor 1:4

          "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead," Phil 3:13


          "For our citizenship is in heaven, ..." Phil 3:20

          Click here if you were wounded spiritually after abortion.
          Click here if you are pregnant and need help.
          Click here if you have been raped and are looking for help

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          • #6
            Originally posted by rabidchipmunk View Post
            I don't even want to eat and I get to feeling like throwing up and I know I'm not drinking enough.
            Not eating a good diet and /or not eating regular meals is the most likely cause of anyone getting depressed - so make yourself eat regularly and well, and if you are not drinking sufficiant liquid you'll experience a 'heavy head' which will only make you feel worse.

            that you will relax - deliberately and discover the advantages of breathing into your abdomen only - not into your chest - at a count of three, (in, out, pause.) and that the Lord will not allow this 'door' to close unless He is opening an even better one for you . . .

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            • #7
              Julie, the best I can say is to focus on what you can do to strengthen yourself across the board. As ddmor said, ask what you can do better so you can focus on passing instead of focusing on the possibility you won't. Do your best to make sure you do and are voted in. Don't let the anxiety win - remove it by making yourself worthy of the vote. Ask your FD family for help, get the help where you need it, ask God for the strength to make you strong to do so.
              Seek ye FIRST the kingdom.
              Not second or third, but first.
              Only when all else pales to God, when He receives all glory,
              when He is the source of all hope,
              when His love is received and freely given,
              holding not to the world but to the promise to come,
              will all other things be added unto to you.

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              • #8
                I"ve asked them a few times if there's anything I should be doing different. Most of the responses are you're doing all you can. I've been advised to not show this weekness to anyone in the f.d. cuz it will come across bad.


                In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC

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                • #9
                  Then take that as truth that you have done all you can, and ask God to bless you with the desires of your heart in this. He knows what it has brought you to be a part of this, you have worked hard to get this far, and if it's His will you bet you will get the vote!
                  Seek ye FIRST the kingdom.
                  Not second or third, but first.
                  Only when all else pales to God, when He receives all glory,
                  when He is the source of all hope,
                  when His love is received and freely given,
                  holding not to the world but to the promise to come,
                  will all other things be added unto to you.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by rabidchipmunk View Post
                    I"ve asked them a few times if there's anything I should be doing different. Most of the responses are you're doing all you can. I've been advised to not show this weekness to anyone in the f.d. cuz it will come across bad.
                    I'll be praying for you too.

                    I think what your fellow fire fighters are looking for is someone that they can depend on with their lives in the balance. It is serious business and not a club or an encouragement program. Just the same, a volunteer also places their life in the hands of others, so you are demonstrating your trust of them as well. The best thing you can do is to keep up your side of the bargain. Be dependable, be serious, be sober, and have a heart for others. You desire a good thing.

                    God Bless!
                    Watchinginawe

                    I Samuel 3:10 And the LORD came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by watchinginawe View Post
                      You desire a good thing.

                      God Bless!
                      Indeed !
                      Seek ye FIRST the kingdom.
                      Not second or third, but first.
                      Only when all else pales to God, when He receives all glory,
                      when He is the source of all hope,
                      when His love is received and freely given,
                      holding not to the world but to the promise to come,
                      will all other things be added unto to you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by watchinginawe View Post
                        Be dependable, be serious, be sober, and have a heart for others.
                        I agree. I expect they will be looking for good team members, those who work well with others, more than those who shine as individuals. . . those willing to be subordinate as well as use their own initiative if necessary.

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                        • #13
                          I sympathize with you. I hate waiting!

                          I agree with what has been said here. Also, pray about this. He is an excellent stress releiver Ask him to help the days to pass quickly for you and for you not to obsess or worry. It always works for me
                          The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23

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                          • #14
                            I feel a bit more calm, but am gonna need patience. I think maybe part of it was tied in with hormones and stuff.


                            In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by rabidchipmunk View Post
                              I feel a bit more calm, but am gonna need patience. I think maybe part of it was tied in with hormones and stuff.
                              I'm glad you've calmed down

                              You need to trust in yourself more. You're stronger than you think you are You're a good person Julie
                              The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23

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