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The Heart of a Child and Santa

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  • The Heart of a Child and Santa

    Yes another 'Santa' thread. This is my story.

    First - this is for sharing purposes not to judge. It is to reach out to other hearts who have been hurt as mine was.

    The heart of a child is a precious gift from God and they are all as different as every snowflake. Not all children survive the 'innocent' fairy tales and games of childhood unscathed. This writing of mine is to share with those who either had the same experience as I did and to give them some encouragement or to speak to parents who may be considering what to do and this may help them to decide.

    Please know that this is something very near and dear to my heart and for those who disagree with me on my conclusions - then that is for you to have your own conclusions and I respect that and simply ask you to respect mine.

    But this is about what happened to me and my own extremely difficult journey and how I have known others who have had similar experiences. So, please - know that I am not judging anyone because I don't know your heart and we all make errors in our lives - including me (I made plenty when raising my own children) but ask that you consider what happened to me in light of decisions you make about your own children. If I can save one child from going through what I went through by sharing this - then it will be worth it.

    To those searching for God:

    THE HEART OF A CHILD
    Quote:
    Luke 18:16-18 NIV
    16But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”


    I have debated intellectuals and I have comforted broken hearts but nothing makes the love of God clearer in my eyes than the trust of a child.

    When I debate intellectuals or try to answer their questions when they are searching for the intellectual reasons to come to the Lord, at some point I realize that there is no answer in the world that will touch their heart unless they remember what it was like to trust.

    I remember the day that trust became my enemy. I was sitting in the den getting ready to go play outside when I heard my sisters and mother talking. They knew I was in the next room because I had just asked them where the box of mittens were because they were not in the den closet where they are supposed to be. We lived in a small house – about 1000 square feet so it wasn’t as though their words would be hidden from me. I was 6.

    I heard them ask my mother if she was going to tell me that Santa wasn’t real. She laughed and said, “If she is so stupid as to still think Santa is real, then that’s her problem.” Then I heard them roar with laughter. My heart broke. Then, it hardened. Stupid? I thought. I’ll never be that stupid ever again. I will never believe in anything I cannot see or touch ever again. I won’t trust her or anyone else ever again.

    That was the day my innocence died. It was that very trust that God plants in each of our hearts that bring us to Him. If it is destroyed – it is a hard road back. And, my road was long and hard.

    To those who are struggling to trust God: Do you remember the day your heart was broken and that precious trust of a child was crushed? Do you remember what it felt like to trust in such a way as to fall backwards into someone's arms without any fear? That is the heart of a child that Jesus speaks of.

    The narrow path to salvation is really simple – Scripture tells us: A Child Shall Lead Them –and, as with all scriptures, this one has multiple meanings and I honestly believe that this means it is our childhood trust that will lead us to and down that narrow path.

    I run into so many who hold their wonderful childhood memories as something they would not want to have taken from them and also that they know better than to abuse a child's trust. I simply want to suggest to them that just as every little heart is different - there may be one that - even to no one's fault - a child's heart is broken - their trust is shattered. The same trust they need to have faith in Jesus is crushed. Not all children had it turn out so great and for the sake of those precious little hearts - this is about the ONE. I was the one.

    There is the scripture that supports the concern about even ONE child being harmed by a lie (and a lie is a lie in God's eyes). This dear lie caused me to slam the door on ever trusting anyone again - it stole my faith at the innocent age of 6. It took 40 years and sinking into the depths of despair before I had no place left to go but to look up before God was finally able to pull me from the depths of sin and sorrow. Not being able to trust God was the only barrier that made the difference in my life.
    Quote:
    Matthew 18:6
    But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.


    Quote:
    Mark 9:42
    [ Causing to Sin ] "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.


    Quote:
    Luke 17:2
    It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.


    Out of respect for those who have been deeply wounded or could be - please give prayerful consideration to something that truly hurts - even the one.
    __________________

  • #2
    How awful Ruth! I have to say rather mean as well.

    I do remember finding out the truth about Santa, but in a much different way. I can see why it would crush you like that by what they said and how they said it.

    I have to say I'm glad I didn't find out that way, because it sure didn't effect me in fashion.

    I'm so sorry.
    Quote by Nancy Edwards that moved me.
    • Jesus is good and pure; our motives are always mixed.
    • Jesus speaks words of life; we speak words that protect our own sense of reality.
    • Jesus loves sinners and judges sin; we judge sinners and ignore sin.
    • Jesus is wise; we are dogmatic.
    • Jesus sees people’s hearts; we see their defenses.
    • Jesus is very attractive to needy people; we are often the last place they would come.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you for your kind words. I wrote up my experience just to help people realize that children's hearts are like snowflakes - no two are alike.

      Even though the event was horrific - it helped me to have a more sensitive heart for my own children. While I still did santa for them as children - the first time they asked (my oldest was 4) I told them the truth and followed up with the truth of our Lord.

      I did santa for the simple reason as to not cause resentment in the extended family because their children were about the same age and as long as I didn't have to lie to them and it was just for fun - then I didn't see the harm.

      I promised myself that I wouldn't lie to my children - ever and I kept that promise.

      Thank you again for your kind words.

      Comment


      • #4
        Ruth, I agree with you. I came to know the Lord before I had my second child.
        I did let Santa be in their lives but I also made them aware that he was only for fun and not real.
        You make a good point and I am going to share that with my daughter who now has two children. Thank you.
        .................The message of the cross divides the human race." ~MW~

        ........ ... " LORD, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant..."
        .................................................. .................................................. ...Nehemiah 1:11a



        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by karenoka27 View Post
          Ruth, I agree with you. I came to know the Lord before I had my second child.
          I did let Santa be in their lives but I also made them aware that he was only for fun and not real.
          You make a good point and I am going to share that with my daughter who now has two children. Thank you.

          God bless you so much! If sharing what happened to me helps one little heart be saved from the pain - then I can rejoice.

          I was talking to a friend about when my daughter, at 4 years old, asked if santa was real. In our conversation, I realized that this was the first evidence of her developing discernment. This same discernment that she would need in life to tell right from wrong - truth from a lie. The same heart of a child she would need to trust her savior.

          For parents to let that moment be met with truth and help their discernment develop in the way God intended is awesome. But for parents who do what mine did like leave milk and cookies out for santa and have it be consumed as evidence and also my dad even went up on the roof and made noises - all to try to override and trick my discernment IMHO, is wrong.

          I find it interesting when I talk to many parents - they think that when their child learns for certain that santa isn't real that their innocence is gone - that their childhood is over.

          Ironically, they are right. The heart of a child - that innocence with the discernment to know truth from a lie is damaged by all the tricks done to try to keep santa 'alive' until the child is no longer easily fooled. While they are trying to - for, in human wisdom, seems to be for all the right reasons - keep a fantasy alive - they are doing it at a risk of causing damage to that little heart. And that is why I quoted the scriptures warning us of the danger in doing that.

          When parents push past the child's question and try to trick them into continuing the fantasy - that same trust and discernment in the heart of a child to trust God unto salvation has been used and in many cases abused and damaged to the point that some never come to a saving faith.

          I pray that we all use God given wisdom and judgment with the little hearts we are trusted with.

          Comment


          • #6
            Methinks thou doth protest too much. Poor Santa. Hrmm... misplaced emotion on a fictional character... I have a book on that somewhere.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by St_Michael View Post
              Methinks thou doth protest too much. Poor Santa. Hrmm... misplaced emotion on a fictional character... I have a book on that somewhere.
              1. Do you think that all children are the same?
              2. Do you think there is a chance that there are children who can be harmed by propogating a lie by parents?
              3. Do you think it is at least possible that a child will never come to a saving faith because their faith was destroyed in how their parents handled the santa thing?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Ruth2 View Post
                1. Do you think that all children are the same?
                2. Do you think there is a chance that there are children who can be harmed by propogating a lie by parents?
                3. Do you think it is at least possible that a child will never come to a saving faith because their faith was destroyed in how their parents handled the santa thing?

                1. No of course not.

                2. Depends on the lie. Santa is benign. Who your daddy is...is not.

                3. At least possible? Sure. My intelligence tells me that a child may never come to know saving faith because of how the parents handled everything else. Santa is benign.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by St_Michael View Post
                  1. No of course not.

                  2. Depends on the lie. Santa is benign. Who your daddy is...is not.

                  3. At least possible? Sure. My intelligence tells me that a child may never come to know saving faith because of how the parents handled everything else. Santa is benign.
                  Okay - but based on scripture - and the warnings about protecting children and not doing anything to cause a child to sin - I take that responsibility VERY seriously and have a healthy fear of God to ignore His request.

                  If there is a chance - I am going to take a safe route for the sake of my love for God and not the fantasy of santa.

                  There are a lot of things in this life that either are benign in and of themselves but can be deadly and there are things that appear benign that are also very deceiving until we look at it from God's perspective.

                  Fire, in and of itself is benign in that it is just a bunch of cells moving at speads that can cause the physical change in other things but used properly it is a great tool.

                  I could go on and on with the analogies but I think you get the point.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Ruth2 View Post
                    3. Do you think it is at least possible that a child will never come to a saving faith because their faith was destroyed in how their parents handled the santa thing?
                    I'm sure it is, but that is the parent's fault, not the fault of Santa. If your parents do not raise you right do you blame everyone else or the parents that raised you?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by I<3Jesus View Post
                      I'm sure it is, but that is the parent's fault, not the fault of Santa. If your parents do not raise you right do you blame everyone else or the parents that raised you?
                      If I could have you look at this from a different perspective for a moment.
                      This is not about my parents or any other parents. It is about the heart of a child. It is not even about santa.

                      If you do not wish to see it from that perspective then that is fine.
                      I have simply presented my prayerful thoughts on the matter and you can accept or reject them.

                      I have no power to change anyone's mind. That is the Lord's and His alone to do.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Well, this begs the question why did you mention Santa instead of a unviverse of other better examples if this was truly about the heart of a child?

                        Methinks this has a lot more to do with your heart than any child's heart.... and thats ok.

                        God Bless and have a Merry Christmas.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Ruth. Thanks for sharing your story. If only parents would realize the great damage they do to their children when they call them stupid or in any other way disparage who they are. I am sorry this happened to you.
                          Matt 9:13
                          13 "But go and learn what this means: ' I DESIRE COMPASSION,AND NOT SACRIFICE,' for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
                          NASU

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Brother Mark View Post
                            Hi Ruth. Thanks for sharing your story. If only parents would realize the great damage they do to their children when they call them stupid or in any other way disparage who they are. I am sorry this happened to you.
                            Thank you
                            It is so wonderful to read another supportive and loving response when I share this story.

                            So often, even though I am on Christian boards, I get a lot of attacks and that always is hard to deal with but for the sake of that one little heart that it might help - it is worth it.

                            I just keep re-reading Matthew 5

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by St_Michael View Post
                              Well, this begs the question why did you mention Santa instead of a unviverse of other better examples if this was truly about the heart of a child?

                              Methinks this has a lot more to do with your heart than any child's heart.... and thats ok.

                              God Bless and have a Merry Christmas.
                              Then you didn't really read the title or the whole post. Me thinks you jumped to conclusions and started defending your position.

                              Comment

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