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  • Why no peace from God?

    I just want to know the answer to something. If God's forgiveness is so powerful and so permanent, why do I still feel like garbage about an affair I had a few years ago before becoming a Christian? Why do I twinge with guilt and shame anytime I hear somebody comment about adultery, like they are talking about me, even when I know they aren't? Why does "forgiveness" from God not comfort me and take away the burden I bear? I know in my mind He has forgiven me. Why does it not "feel" that way to me? Why am I not feeling the joy and peace I'm supposed to be feeling? It almost seems like God's forgiveness is a cruel joke... "I forgive you. I just won't let you really believe it, though." It almost seems like it was a waste of time to repent. I don't mean that it would have been ok to continue the adultery. I just mean it almost seems like it was pointless outside of that to repent, though. I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just being honest.

  • #2
    Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
    I just want to know the answer to something. If God's forgiveness is so powerful and so permanent, why do I still feel like garbage about an affair I had a few years ago before becoming a Christian? Why do I twinge with guilt and shame anytime I hear somebody comment about adultery, like they are talking about me, even when I know they aren't? Why does "forgiveness" from God not comfort me and take away the burden I bear? I know in my mind He has forgiven me. Why does it not "feel" that way to me? Why am I not feeling the joy and peace I'm supposed to be feeling? It almost seems like God's forgiveness is a cruel joke... "I forgive you. I just won't let you really believe it, though." It almost seems like it was a waste of time to repent. I don't mean that it would have been ok to continue the adultery. I just mean it almost seems like it was pointless outside of that to repent, though. I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just being honest.

    First, God promised to forgive you when you asked for it. The problem is not God, but you. You don't have faith that He did. Faith is not feelings. You think that because you don't FEEL forgiven, that you aren't. Take God at His Word and have faith (not feelings) that He forgave you.

    Secondly, Satan is the accuser of the brethren. He will bring this to your mind again and again and again to torment you. I used to suffer from the same thing for the same reason you are. I struggled for many years with the tormenting thoughts, wondering if it was because I was not forgiven or I didn't ask the right way, etc.

    The Apostle Paul said this in Phillipians 3:13, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,"

    The Apostle Paul had plenty to be regretful for. He consented to the death of Christians! But this is what he learned - he couldn't move forward if he kept looking back. Stop looking back. I laid claim to this verse and I keep it fresh in my mind when Satan tries to torment me.

    Faith is not feelings. Faith is taking God's Word over your own. Remember, if you asked for forgiveness, you have it. Stop tugging at your Heavenly Father's pants leg. If He said it, it's done.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
      I just want to know the answer to something. If God's forgiveness is so powerful and so permanent, why do I still feel like garbage about an affair I had a few years ago before becoming a Christian? Why do I twinge with guilt and shame anytime I hear somebody comment about adultery, like they are talking about me, even when I know they aren't? Why does "forgiveness" from God not comfort me and take away the burden I bear? I know in my mind He has forgiven me. Why does it not "feel" that way to me? Why am I not feeling the joy and peace I'm supposed to be feeling? It almost seems like God's forgiveness is a cruel joke... "I forgive you. I just won't let you really believe it, though." It almost seems like it was a waste of time to repent. I don't mean that it would have been ok to continue the adultery. I just mean it almost seems like it was pointless outside of that to repent, though. I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just being honest.
      It's because you haven't forgiven yourself yet, which allows satan to keep the guilt heaped up on top of you.
      Slug1--out

      ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi aaron35. The reason is, that you're still in rebellion against God, and listening to the enemy. I don't mean that you're not a Christian, obviously you are. But you have unforgiveness in your life, you're listening to the devil, and he's got you to a place now where you're actually blaming God for how you feel.

        I've done this kind of thing myself, and I'm sure every Christian out there has done, so I'm not being mean. But do you hear yourself say "if God..." "cruel joke..." When we're under spiritual attack it often starts with an "if"... look how satan spoke to Jesus (if you are the son of God) or to Eve "did He really say..."

        You know that there are no ifs or maybes with God, you know when He says something He means it. So this negativity is something that doesn't come from God. Don't blame Him. Repent of it, and rebuke it in Jesus' name. God has forgiven you. Now, stop rebelling and let go of your guilt - the devil has no hold on you. Don't let him force you to wallow in your past mistakes. Look to the cross, not to yourself.
        Please could everyone pray for Mieke and Charles.

        My testimony http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthr...ight=testimony

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        • #5
          Thanks to all for the replies thus far. It has given me much to ponder on. Perhaps I will receive more to help me...

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
            It's because you haven't forgiven yourself yet, which allows satan to keep the guilt heaped up on top of you.

            It's a strong grip on me. I absolutely hated adultery (and those that committed it) and the pain it causes people, and this was how I felt before I was even a Christian. Then what did I go and do? I HAD AN AFFAIR!!! The self-hatred is immense. In my fleshly way of thinking, I don't deserve forgiveness from God, even though I repented from the adultery and He wants to extend forgiveness. It's almost like, "Well, God can forgive me if He wants, but that's His problem. I wouldn't extend forgiveness to my wife if she cheated on me, so why should I get a break from her and God? If they won't hate me and hold my sin against me, I will!" I know that's very negative and sad thinking, but it's really how I feel about the situation...
            Last edited by Warrior4God; Jul 3rd 2008, 10:46 PM.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
              It's a strong grip on me. I absolutely hated adultery (and those that committed it) and the pain it causes people, and this was how I felt before I was even a Christian. Then what did I go and do? I HAD AN AFFAIR!!! The self-hatred is immense. In my fleshly way of thinking, I don't deserve forgiveness from God, even though I repented from the adultery and He wants to extend forgiveness. It's almost like, "Well, God can forgive me if He wants, but that's His problem. I wouldn't extend forgiveness to my wife if she cheated on me, so why should I be cut a break from her and God? If they won't hate me and hold my sin against me, I will!" I know that's very negative and sad thinking, but it's really how I feel about the situation...
              Ask God to show you "how" to forgive yourself.
              Slug1--out

              ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

              Comment


              • #8
                I don't know which is harder...to forgive someone else or to forgive ourselves. But the fact that you find it hard to forgive yourself is indeed a stronghold the enemy holds on you to keep you bound and unable to move forward. What he doesn't want you to know is that by forgiving yourself (or others) it frees you from the bondage of guilt, anger, depression, or whatever else you may be suffering from.

                The fact is...if you repented and confessed this sin, then God can and does forgive you. You don't feel the joy, peace and comfort you want not because God is withholding it from you, but because you won't allow yourself to feel it. You are still believing the lies of the enemy (all the negative thoughts), you are still unforgiving (of yourself), and you have determined that you are unforgivable.

                We all have come across these feelings in one way or another, but there comes a time when you have to stop believing the lies the enemy is telling you (God is playing a trick on you...doesn't want to see you feel forgiveness, doesn't forgive you, etc) and start believing what the Lord is telling you:

                Matthew 12:31
                And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.

                Colossians 3:13
                Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

                Remember the woman in the Bible that was brought to Jesus because she was committing adultery and the men wanted to stone her?

                John 8:10-11
                10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."


                So if Jesus can forgive her, he will forgive you. The difference between you and her is that she believed His words...you don't.


                Put on your armor and fight the enemy that wishes to continue keeping you in chains. Pray daily, read God's word daily, and constantly remind yourself God has forgiven you and you are going to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Learn from it and move on or you will remain in your chains forever.

                Live your life in such a
                way that, when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says...

                "Oh NO.... she's awake!"

                ____________________________________________


                Slug1: No, I have it so short I can't comb it to the side like before

                cheechamia: ken...dear...honey...you have NO hair to comb on the side!!!
                sigpic





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                • #9
                  Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
                  It's a strong grip on me. I absolutely hated adultery (and those that committed it) and the pain it causes people, and this was how I felt before I was even a Christian. Then what did I go and do? I HAD AN AFFAIR!!! The self-hatred is immense. In my fleshly way of thinking, I don't deserve forgiveness from God, even though I repented from the adultery and He wants to extend forgiveness. It's almost like, "Well, God can forgive me if He wants, but that's His problem. I wouldn't extend forgiveness to my wife if she cheated on me, so why should I get a break from her and God? If they won't hate me and hold my sin against me, I will!" I know that's very negative and sad thinking, but it's really how I feel about the situation...
                  I agree with what Slug and others have said but will expand wants.
                  You are stating here that the problem is deeper then just not forgiving yourself, you cannot even really accept God's forgiveness. It seem in your mind your sin is so terrible and horrible that you DON'T WANT forgiveness. Not from God, not from you. Guess what you sinned. Your sin before God is not any worse then any other idol we chase after. You will not be at peace until you accept what God did and can forgive yourself. Peace comes through surrender. Our Peace is in Jesus Our Messiah. He paid it all. You need to step out of your Kingdom and submit to your Lord of Lords and walk as he directs. When you follow His path and walk in His ways, then there is peace. As it is written, the secret to contentment is "With God all things are possible." It is possible for you to accept forgiveness and forgive yourself. You are the only one in the way. And yes, as long as you fail to submit, the Enemy will have power to accuse.
                  Peace is not the absence of pain or suffering or conflict. True peace is only found in surrender to Jesus.
                  blog: http://peacebringer7.wordpress.com
                  forum: www.peacebringer.net/phpBB3

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                  • #10
                    Aaron35, I don't have any advise for you that you have not already been given. Cheech and Slug are good council for you here. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you in this matter.
                    I am a Christian man in the Devil's land, spreading the gospel man to man.
                    Have you laid your burdens down?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
                      It's a strong grip on me. I absolutely hated adultery (and those that committed it) and the pain it causes people, and this was how I felt before I was even a Christian. Then what did I go and do? I HAD AN AFFAIR!!! The self-hatred is immense. In my fleshly way of thinking, I don't deserve forgiveness from God, even though I repented from the adultery and He wants to extend forgiveness. It's almost like, "Well, God can forgive me if He wants, but that's His problem. I wouldn't extend forgiveness to my wife if she cheated on me, so why should I get a break from her and God? If they won't hate me and hold my sin against me, I will!" I know that's very negative and sad thinking, but it's really how I feel about the situation...
                      Aaron, why heap up on yourself what God has removed? I struggled with the exact same thing you are struggling with. I was crushed by my own actions, and just couldn't let go. I thought it would hang there almost like a neon sign over my head forever. It was like I could see it, just hanging there. I'd been forgiven, but couldn't see how something so horrible would ever leave me being okay again. I was horrible, nasty. I did something that was aborrhent.

                      Thing is - God finally showed me that He was enough. What my flesh did was fleshy. What my spirit already had was forgiveness. Aaron, as a Christian - what is the nature of our spirit NOW, today?

                      1 Peter 3
                      18For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
                      Romans 8
                      9However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.
                      10If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
                      12So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh--

                      13for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
                      If you live and carry what the flesh has brought, it dampens how we are to live according to the Spirit in Christ. Our flesh is dead when we are reborn of the Spirit, and now we simply await the death of our flesh so that sin and the works of the flesh will end. We are alive in the Spirit.

                      1 Peter 3
                      18For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
                      Satan will attack what is living in Christ to bring you down, back into the nature of the old man. That is what he is doing with you now. He wants you to be in bondage to what your flesh has done. I know that you know that if the Spirit is covered under the rigteousness of Christ you are free. He died so that our flesh couldn't weigh us down and keep us in sin.

                      Pray hard Aaron - ask God to remove these thoughts of you deserving condemnation, to remove all that is not of Him in your thoughts, to make your thoughts void of what He has already overcome! Cling to Him and His victory over the sin of the flesh. Tell those thoughts to leave when they are there to condemn. It's an attack Aaron, and satan will not attack what is already dead, only what keeps you alive and close to Christ.

                      James 4
                      7Submit therefore to God Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
                      1 Thessolonias 5
                      16Rejoice always;

                      17pray without ceasing; 18in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
                      Pray, like you have never prayed Aaron. That is our greatest weapon in putting on the armour of God. Keeping you in prayer for strength and living in what is freedom through the Spirit. Know that freedom is real.
                      Seek ye FIRST the kingdom.
                      Not second or third, but first.
                      Only when all else pales to God, when He receives all glory,
                      when He is the source of all hope,
                      when His love is received and freely given,
                      holding not to the world but to the promise to come,
                      will all other things be added unto to you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by aaron35 View Post
                        I just want to know the answer to something. If God's forgiveness is so powerful and so permanent, why do I still feel like garbage about an affair I had a few years ago before becoming a Christian? Why do I twinge with guilt and shame anytime I hear somebody comment about adultery, like they are talking about me, even when I know they aren't? Why does "forgiveness" from God not comfort me and take away the burden I bear? I know in my mind He has forgiven me. Why does it not "feel" that way to me? Why am I not feeling the joy and peace I'm supposed to be feeling? It almost seems like God's forgiveness is a cruel joke... "I forgive you. I just won't let you really believe it, though." It almost seems like it was a waste of time to repent. I don't mean that it would have been ok to continue the adultery. I just mean it almost seems like it was pointless outside of that to repent, though. I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just being honest.

                        Hi Arran35,
                        My heart goes out to you and you have my prayers .Remember God is not a liar ,what HE says HE means. This is what satan does,he put doubts in our mind.
                        It's only a cruel joke,correction:satan's device which is cruel!!! BUT not from GOD!!! GOD has bestowed HIS MERCY and GRACE and FORGIVENESS to YOU!!!It's your turn to except HIS loving forgiveness.Renew your mind with God's Word and rebuke satan in Jesus name,,,,he has to flee in the name of Jesus.
                        Be Blessed,,,cdo
                        " May The Peace of God Be With Us"
                        Jer:29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you....
                        <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
                        Knowledge Will Be Increased
                        In Christ Jesus, Darlene
                        sigpic

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                        • #13
                          Thanks to all who have posted. Everything written is what I need to hear.

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                          • #14
                            Maybe it's also bcause you just can't quite understand His forgiveness, meaning you don't really know God and Hios mercy to the fullest extend yet. It's hard to let things like that go, when you're not sure God would truly forgive.
                            This then creates a cycle of beating yourself up for it. It's kind of like a self punishment.

                            And it really doesn't accomplish anything. The best thing one can do when they realized they screwed up, is to stand up for the wrong, make amends, and learn from the experience and go on to not ever do it again.

                            Not sure that helps, but it's what i was led to write.

                            Tanja
                            Jer 6:16 Thus says the Lord: Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.
                            2Jn 1:9 Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.
                            If it's not done out of unselfish love, then it's hardly righteous.
                            http://disciple2yeshua.wordpress.com/



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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jesusinmyheart View Post
                              Maybe it's also bcause you just can't quite understand His forgiveness, meaning you don't really know God and Hios mercy to the fullest extend yet. It's hard to let things like that go, when you're not sure God would truly forgive.
                              This then creates a cycle of beating yourself up for it. It's kind of like a self punishment.

                              And it really doesn't accomplish anything. The best thing one can do when they realized they screwed up, is to stand up for the wrong, make amends, and learn from the experience and go on to not ever do it again.

                              Not sure that helps, but it's what i was led to write.

                              Tanja
                              Thanks. All you wrote here is useful. I appreciate your input.

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