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Just trying to sort things out...

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  • Just trying to sort things out...

    Im new here and have posted an intro post but I wanted to get into more detail about what we have been going through, to see if it makes any sense to anyone. I honestly think that I am more mixed up at this time in my life than I have ever, ever been. I was raised in a strict pentecostal home. My father was a minister and pastor for several years before he backslid when I was 3 months old. He came back to the Lord for a short while when I was 14. My mother tried her best to keep me in church. I was in there really well up until I met my husband, who was not in church. After we married we were in and out of church for several years until back in 1999 when he finally came to know God and started out into the Ministry. Those were some of the happiest times in my life. In 2004 we left the church in which we were childrens pastors and Sunday School teachers. We had homeschooled our children since the youngest was in kindergarten. My daughter had dreams and aspirations of becoming a Missionary and she was so close to God. Sadly to say today that my beautiful 18 year old daughter is now married and mother to a premature baby girl, she has been dabbling in Wicca and the Occult for over a year now. My oldest son has been battling a debilitating mental illness and had to be instituionalized for about 3 months a year ago. My youngest son likes to dress in black, he used to like to go to church but doesnt so much anymore. He is not into Wicca and the Occult, he just likes to dress in black. My husband and I are looking for a place to fit in. We know we could never go back where we came from, no one would accept us there. There has been too much history and too much negative talk. My daughter is a very outspoken person and she has took it upon herself to badmouth a few of the ppl we attended church with before. I shudder to think what their opinions of us are now. Im just so confused. I love God. I loved my family the way they were before all this junk happened to them. We blame ourselves. I dont know what to do or where to turn. I was always taught this one belief system all my life, I grew up in it and anything else wasnt right. How do I begin to heal and reprogram myself and how do I find peace? Any advice?

  • #2
    It is a shame. The group of people that should be the first to forgive are often so hostile.

    I have no words of encouragement, but want you to know that you are in my prayers.


    • #3
      Hi, I read your post;my heart goes out to you and my prayers.We don't always understand things that come against us.One for sure and I know you know;that is how satan works,whether it's our children,our marriage,ANYTHING!!! You can only pray for your children
      and lay it at the Cross.Continue to speak God's Word to them and around them and pray.Seek God to lead and guide you and your husband as to your future.Pray for those that judge you and bring up your past in the Churches,that is the wickedness of their tongue.God knows your heart and HE will give you peace!!! Let go and Let God!!!
      I pray all Blessings for you&family,
      " May The Peace of God Be With Us"
      Jer:29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you....
      <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
      Knowledge Will Be Increased
      In Christ Jesus, Darlene


      • #4
        Any advice? yes!

        Stop everything right now! Just stop. You can't change the past, we can't go back and do it again. Sooo...get on your knees before our Lord, and confess all that you need too. Both you and your husband should do this together.
        Give Him your life from this day forward to do with the both of you as He pleases.

        Know this. Our Father in heaven loves you very much. You are very special to Him as is your family. Your children have come to a place where they can make their own decisions and you can't change that. You and your husband can,however, change how you live the rest of your lives.
        Yesterday is past, today is now, and tomorrow can be a brand new future.

        Don't give up. If you are still alive, then the Lord isn't finished with you yet! And that's a good thing!
        Please read the following verses very slowly. Pray about them,meditate on them.

        Lamentations 3:22-23-"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness."

        Psalm 103:11-12-"
        For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
        so great is his love for those who fear him;as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

        1 John 1:9-"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

        I'm praying for you both. Don't give up. And who knows what the Lord will do with all of your family? But it might just have to start with you.
        .................The message of the cross divides the human race." ~MW~

        ........ ... " LORD, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant..."
        .................................................. .................................................. ...Nehemiah 1:11a


        • #5
          As hard as it is, we sometimes have to deal with consequences of our decisions and actions for many years. That doesnt mean that God has given up on you, it just means that we have consequences to deal with. (Just look at David. He had lifelong consequences that his kids carried on, but God still used him mightily.)

          All other denominations are not wrong. I know sometimes we are taught that, but thats just plain baloney. try finding somewhere that you all can enjoy, a place with solid teaching for all ages, even if its not what you grew up in.

          I will be praying that God leads you and your family to a place where you can all grow and serve.


          • #6
            The only thing you can change is you. And the only way to do this right, is by going to the Word and learning and starting all over again.

            Ask God to give you truth and show you what you need to do so that you and your house can be saved.

            It's going to be a long road, but it's never too late to start, as long as you're still alive.

            I'll pray for you.

            Jer 6:16 Thus says the Lord: Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.
            2Jn 1:9 Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.
            If it's not done out of unselfish love, then it's hardly righteous.


            • #7
              Great are the wounds that are done in the name of Jesus the Messiah. There is much anger in your family, even anger at God. Reading your post, your daughter has felt powerless, feels abandoned by God and empty. She is trying in turn to raise herself up by own sources of power and when that fails turning to the enemy, who promises much power.

              Some of the pain for you, for your daughter is connected to your father. Forgiveness is a starting path to heal your own wounds.

              Now growing up pentecostal and in the system, there is truth and there is lies. Consider carefully and with sober mind whether exposed to working of the enemy. Consider the oppressive workings of the enemy.

              Peace is found in surrender to Jesus. Jesus is peace. Peace is not absence of pain or sorrow, it is sleeping admist the storms. It is praising and signing while in captivity.

              It is said to see the struggles and choices of your family but look at the log in your own eye. Look at your own wounds pouring out before you. Seek the healer, seek the Love of God.

              Regarding your daughter- God doesn't impose upon willl but no one is beyond repentence!

              Regarding your son- Wounds and suffering is but temporary even if it last a lifetime. Salvation is eternal. Not though that with God all things are possible. Again Peace is found and Jesus in the cross. Whether your son ever returns to his "right" mind is not for us to know or even see. But again I repeat with God all things are possible.

              These are the things I felt led to say. Pray and seek the Lord your God and submit to Him. Your tears are kept, bottled, precious to be poured up the healing of your soul. Weird words to me but this I feel the Lord speaking to you.
              Grace and Peace to you in the name of the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit.
              Peace is not the absence of pain or suffering or conflict. True peace is only found in surrender to Jesus.


              • #8
                Looking4something, may I concentrate on one short part of your post? It is this, the last part of all that you said:

                "I was always taught this one belief system all my life, I grew up in it and anything else wasnt right. How do I begin to heal and reprogram myself and how do I find peace? Any advice?"

                1- Can you please give us some idea of what that "one belief system" was, that you grew up in and was in all your life?

                2- Do you now, for any reason, believe that you have been in a belief system that was not quite Biblical?

                I ask this because I, myself, like many others, DID get out in "left-field" a few times. But thanks be to God, because He kept me in the Word and in diligent study, I was able to SEE that some things I was being taught really were way off track. And I began to comprehend some semblance of TRUTH and would back off from what I clearly saw as unscriptural.

                One example I can think of immediately is the teaching of what-you-say-is-what-you-get. I was scared out of my socks to admit being sick! I just started believing and saying that I was not sick; nor would I admit that anyone else was sick! I thought my words were as powerful as God's words! So...I just would say things like, "I am healed in Jesus name." Or, I would tell others, "Don't say I have cancer. Just say 'I am healed.'"

                But the more I read the Bible, the more I came to understand that MY FAITH was in MY words! Not in the almighty power of God!

                I was telling people to confess a LIE! How silly of me! If they indeed had cancer, how silly of me to tell them to confess a lie! ( Advising them to say "I am healed" when they clearly were NOT healed.) Someone with cancer is in need of prayerful support, and needed prayer for healing! God never went out of the healing business, but pretending they were healed never healed one person and never would!

                Do you see where I had gotten over into a WRONG belief system?

                What I should be doing was to lay hands on the one with cancer, and PRAY for GOD to HEAL THEM OF THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE. After all, Christ Jesus is the healer. And to advise that person to pretend she did not have cancer was gross error on my part...all because I had gotten into some false teaching.

                So, do you feel that your "beliefs" (whatever they were) could have contributed in some way to things that have happened to your household?

                You see, if that is the case, I'm here to tell you that no matter how terrible things are in our lives or our children's lives, no matter how broken things are, Sweetie, I promise....God can do great and marvelous things! He can, and does, heal broken homes, broken hearts, broken families, broken children, broken loved ones! He CAN turn them around! He CAN open blinded eyes!

                Look to Christ Jesus. Look to him! I, and many others here, are living, breathing, walking, talking proof that God CAN and DOES put back together again what all the kings horses and all the kings men can't possibly put back together again!

                Please, believe that He IS able. And I'm going to start praying fervently that he will do exactly that for you and your family!
                My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

                "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)