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  • Need spiritual help and advice

    I have been going to a church for 4 years now. There have been some things the pastor says continually in his sermons which I believe is wrong. At first I decided to ignore those things because I felt other things the church was doing is really good. Long story short I feel at this time It is time for me to look for another church as the wrong things (i don't want to get into specifics at this time) is eating me up to the point that I do not even want to listen to another of the pastors sermons. The problem is during the last 4 years I have made friendships and I believe those people are good people and my brothers and sisters in Christ. This whole thing has been eating me up for the last couple weeks. I am posting this here because I am convinced i am not the only Christian to go through this. If anybody else has dealt with the situation of feeling they had to change churches for any reason, I wanted to ask how you dealt with the friendships you have made in that church.

  • #2
    I've remained friends with pastors and other congregation members.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by rom826 View Post
      If anybody else has dealt with the situation of feeling they had to change churches for any reason, I wanted to ask how you dealt with the friendships you have made in that church.
      As Journeyman posted, I too remain friends with most in churches of the past, including the leadership of those churches. When God moved me, there was always a period of transition and preparation before the move.

      Slug1--out

      ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

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      • #4
        Originally posted by rom826 View Post
        I have been going to a church for 4 years now. There have been some things the pastor says continually in his sermons which I believe is wrong. At first I decided to ignore those things because I felt other things the church was doing is really good. Long story short I feel at this time It is time for me to look for another church as the wrong things (i don't want to get into specifics at this time) is eating me up to the point that I do not even want to listen to another of the pastors sermons. The problem is during the last 4 years I have made friendships and I believe those people are good people and my brothers and sisters in Christ. This whole thing has been eating me up for the last couple weeks. I am posting this here because I am convinced i am not the only Christian to go through this. If anybody else has dealt with the situation of feeling they had to change churches for any reason, I wanted to ask how you dealt with the friendships you have made in that church.
        Well, that pretty much fit me to a "T." I've been going through this for a lot of years. I was bound and determined to attend a church in my relative neighborhood--why should I travel miles to go to a "super church?" I liked the neighborly feel, and the proximity to people I could literally help and be helped by.

        The trouble is, odds are that a neighborhood church is not going to be all that you would shop for at your local supermarket! You're going to get people and doctrines and even pastors that don't always fit the bill. But I've persisted, not agreeing on a number of things, and sometimes being tempted to quit entirely.

        I've just never done it, for the same reasons you give. I have friends there. And we are all genuine Christians. Where people have Jesus as their Lord, there is hope for change. You don't always see hope for change, such as on this forum, where people stick by their guns to the end, it seems. But I do believe change takes place slowly, and not always in the way we like. We may want doctrines and style to change, when God is after character change. We tend to not notice that changing.

        I would say the important thing is that over a lengthy period of time you actually do see this change in character. I've truly seen it in my own church. And in holding to my own standards, I've seen those who oppose godly standards simply removed. You can bank on the fact God will stand with you, if you're right. Only if the vast majority go over to the Dark Side are you engaging in a futile expedition.

        Sometimes God calls us to stay where we are, even though conditions are less than optimal. Sometimes God calls us to go where the environment is more open to change and production. We just have to know what God is calling us to do.

        The Prophets of Israel remained in Israel at its very worst times. They didn't flee the nation for calmer Gentile nations, in less danger of immediate judgment. The churches in Revelation were in all kinds of conditions, and God never told the righteous to abandon their localities, due to bad conditions there.

        In other cases, Jesus told his apostles to leave a city if it was unworthy. So you have to discern. Unhappiness is not the measure of what God wants you to do. It is your spiritual focus. You can become unhappy and discontent in any unhappy situation. But what should make you happy is doing God's will.

        You should feel you're accomplishing something where you are. If not, then by all means, leave. But remember that God is patient, and seemed unwilling to leave Israel until her apostasy was complete. Take enough time to be sure of your decision.

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        • #5
          I too have not halted my relationship with other members of my church.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by rom826 View Post
            I have been going to a church for 4 years now. There have been some things the pastor says continually in his sermons which I believe is wrong. At first I decided to ignore those things because I felt other things the church was doing is really good. Long story short I feel at this time It is time for me to look for another church as the wrong things (i don't want to get into specifics at this time) is eating me up to the point that I do not even want to listen to another of the pastors sermons. The problem is during the last 4 years I have made friendships and I believe those people are good people and my brothers and sisters in Christ. This whole thing has been eating me up for the last couple weeks. I am posting this here because I am convinced i am not the only Christian to go through this. If anybody else has dealt with the situation of feeling they had to change churches for any reason, I wanted to ask how you dealt with the friendships you have made in that church.
            I believe that the solution to this problem is spelled out in Scripture. It matters not that it is the "leadership" of the congregation that is at fault, or the newest convert.

            "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector." Matt 18:15-17

            I think if you have something against what the congregation is doing, first, you need to study the Word to make sure you are correct in your interpretation of what they are doing wrong. Then (if you are correct that they are in the wrong) you should go individually to the people doing it, and address the problem through Scripture. If they hear you, and change, then you, as Scripture says, you have gained a brother. If not, then take others who agree with you to meet with the ones who are wrong. But if they will not change, then you must turn away from the congregation and any of the members of that congregation that adhere to the false belief. But you must make it clear to the people that are "shunned" (for lack of a better word) in this way, that you are doing it because of this false belief, or the desired result (that of bringing them back to the truth) cannot be achieved.

            I hope this makes sense. Not knowing what the issue is, I cannot address it any better than in generalities.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by rom826 View Post
              I have been going to a church for 4 years now. There have been some things the pastor says continually in his sermons which I believe is wrong. At first I decided to ignore those things because I felt other things the church was doing is really good. Long story short I feel at this time It is time for me to look for another church as the wrong things (i don't want to get into specifics at this time) is eating me up to the point that I do not even want to listen to another of the pastors sermons. The problem is during the last 4 years I have made friendships and I believe those people are good people and my brothers and sisters in Christ. This whole thing has been eating me up for the last couple weeks. I am posting this here because I am convinced i am not the only Christian to go through this. If anybody else has dealt with the situation of feeling they had to change churches for any reason, I wanted to ask how you dealt with the friendships you have made in that church.
              Hear ye...Hear ye....many have gone or are going through your experience....including me.
              You will be doing yourself and friends a huge service. We are reminded..."come out of her......." That language has many meanings including this experience. I will have no part of a church that teaches new age religion interpretations of the Bible i.e; OSAS, baptism not necessary (I had to part with baptist and friends over this many years ago), universalism, God's commandments do not apply to us (Andy Stanley), all Jews will be saved (John Hagee) etc., as examples.

              I love my Christian friends but, God comes first. If they do not understand..they are not your Christian friends.

              Just remember we .....do no good going to church and are not righteous ........if we do not follow God's word.

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