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  • #31
    I'd say it was time to find another therapist. I'm trying to think of a charitable thing to call a person who doesn't think a parent's example affects a child. So far I haven't thought of one.

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    • #32
      This is where I have a problem. I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my life and I am only 21. I believe to my best ability in God, but due to my mind becoming more of a psychology major in trying to understand myself, I have, in a way analyzed the concept of God and religion to tiny bits. I am believing out of pure desperation for something better. I have been a wreck for months about this. it's as if someone told me there was no God, and I knew for sure...and I was taking that fact very badly. I don't know, but I seem to find more answers to many things in science and common sense than in religion. I want to see and know where God comes in. I am sorry if I offend, I want more than anything to believe fully.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Kimberlydiscover7 View Post
        This is where I have a problem. I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my life and I am only 21. I believe to my best ability in God, but due to my mind becoming more of a psychology major in trying to understand myself, I have, in a way analyzed the concept of God and religion to tiny bits. I am believing out of pure desperation for something better. I have been a wreck for months about this. it's as if someone told me there was no God, and I knew for sure...and I was taking that fact very badly. I don't know, but I seem to find more answers to many things in science and common sense than in religion. I want to see and know where God comes in. I am sorry if I offend, I want more than anything to believe fully.
        Kimberly, I too have dealt with serious depression. Mine lasted until just after my 31st birthday. In no way do I want to trivialize your experience so instead I will simply testify as to mine. I too was unable to find relief in 'religion', instead I attempted to self-medicate myself with everything from marijuana to heroin. I was pretty much a manic, changing moods at the drop of the hat. Every day there was a reason to cry; every day a reason to get high. Looking back it is amazing that I was functional but always on the edge. I share this simply to qualify my statements to follow.

        So, anyway, about eight and a half years ago my mother, who after being RCC for 35 years, had just gotten 'saved' almost two years prior. She asked me if I'd ever read the Bible. I was like - Hello! You sent me to catholic school, you know I had religion classes. Of course I've read the Bible! Then she said something that has changed my life. She said - No, not because you're told to and not in bits and pieces here and there, but like a book, because you want to? I could not say yes to that. She challenge me to read it, like a book, and being quite a bit stubborn, I could not let her one up me. So, my journey began in Matthew and I have literally never been the same. I'm not really sure when it changed for me, but it most definitely changed. It was not about some abracadabra type formula that took away my mourning and replaced it with joy. All I can say is that it was Jesus. I don't know how but I know it happened. I would give you the same challenge my mother gave me, read it like a book. Not because you're trying to fix something, not because you have to but just because somehow deep down you know that's what you should do. Keep taking your meds or whatever you do to control it now, and just begin the journey. That's my advice from one has laid on the bed (often) bawling, wanting nothing more than to die so the emotional pain would stop.

        God bless you as you search for true peace!
        II Timothy 2:15
        Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
        Read My Testimony sigpic Visit Our Website

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Kimberlydiscover7 View Post
          This is where I have a problem. I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my life and I am only 21. I believe to my best ability in God, but due to my mind becoming more of a psychology major in trying to understand myself, I have, in a way analyzed the concept of God and religion to tiny bits. I am believing out of pure desperation for something better. I have been a wreck for months about this. it's as if someone told me there was no God, and I knew for sure...and I was taking that fact very badly. I don't know, but I seem to find more answers to many things in science and common sense than in religion. I want to see and know where God comes in. I am sorry if I offend, I want more than anything to believe fully.
          Kimberly, I did a search from another post of yours (Why is it so hard) to find out what was so hard for you. My ex- wife was probably a lot like you when she was your age. She was depressed a lot too for some reasons I may not remember. She was always analyzing things too. Always needed to see proof. Boy was that frustrating. Even though, if you have read most of my views on life and how a lot of things can be explained and have a relation to things in the Bible, I still have many questions of much deeper things that if I were to ponder them constantly I would go out of my mind because they are beyond the human mind to handle. You have to set those things aside because you will know about them later when you are with God in Heaven. You like history so stay down here on earth to do the analyzing and leave the rest to God. All that God asks is that you have faith in Him. Don't try and analyze Him because you can't so why try? You try to do things so hard and want answers to everything right now when maybe if you would step back you would find that the crazy molocule you have been trying to figure out is actually part of a beautiful flower given to you by God and you are just too close to see it.
          hugh

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          • #35
            My heavens, am I that obvious....you do know me, well, through your wife!You are right on, I am very analytical. I think from not knowing why I feel like this , since I was a child, and knowing unhappiness makes me want happiness more than anything. Real and true happiness, so I just want to be sure of things...In trying to figure myself out, I try and figure everything else out. Why this or that, what went wrong here or there, because I suppose I feel like I did something wrong to feel this way so often.... I am scared.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Kimberlydiscover7 View Post
              My heavens, am I that obvious....you do know me, well, through your wife!You are right on, I am very analytical. I think from not knowing why I feel like this , since I was a child, and knowing unhappiness makes me want happiness more than anything. Real and true happiness, so I just want to be sure of things...In trying to figure myself out, I try and figure everything else out. Why this or that, what went wrong here or there, because I suppose I feel like I did something wrong to feel this way so often.... I am scared.
              One of the most difficult things is to realize that spiritual things happen in God's timing. I had a very hard time dealing with that. I'm also driven to take care of whatever needs taking care of, and be done with it. That includes the very stuff you mentioned, such as why something is. Gotta find a conclusion!

              Thing is, we can't change God's plan, His perfect timing. The more we get ourselves out of His way, let our understanding or desire to understand step aside, the better things will be. Yes, it can make you feel like you are missing God, missing something, and to be honest you probably are.

              Not easy, and it takes time. It took me a while to get my desires out of the way, and really let Him be the Lord over my life. It's one thing to accept it, it can be another to fully submit to it. Time and prayer and persistence are a good combination to get there.
              Seek ye FIRST the kingdom.
              Not second or third, but first.
              Only when all else pales to God, when He receives all glory,
              when He is the source of all hope,
              when His love is received and freely given,
              holding not to the world but to the promise to come,
              will all other things be added unto to you.

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