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  • Please Help Infidelity

    I'm in immense pain and I don't know where else to go. I recently found out that my husband has been cheating with his first girlfriend for the past year and a half.

    This is the third time. The first was with a 'friend' of mine. The second a coworker. Now this.

    I swore I'd leave but I'm not feeling called to leave. I'm feeling called to stay but the pain is so much.

    I used to post at another infidelity recovery board but I'm even afraid to go back there because I'm ashamed for even thinking of staying- since it's a secular board, most will not understand.

    I don't know where to go to help. I've confided in two godly friends. I can't go to my pastor, I can give more info later if anyone wants.

    I know I need to share my pain, it's part of my healing process. Yes, I go to God but He's so often silent I feel like I'm alone. I still always cling to Him because without God, there is no hope.

    I just need to know I'm not alone and to share. I've searched and the Christian board that used to deal w/ infidelity is gone and I can't find another. I hope it's ok to post here.

  • #2
    You say that you don't feel called to leave. Well, there's leaving for a time and then there is leaving for good.

    You need counseling - from a professional. Talk to your primary physician and he/she can recommend one. Going this alone without professional and competent help, especially since you are unwilling to leave, is a MUST.

    Whatever the two of you did about his the first time didn't work. Whatever you did about it the second time didn't work.

    You are married to a serial adulterer and it's part of his make-up, his character, to be with woman after woman. Some men are married to women like this.

    You need to get YOUR head on straight before you can deal with this. And before you can deal with him - again. Make a doctor's appointment and he can direct you to some professional help. Tell him you are interested in Christian counseling, too.
    "'s your nickel"


    • #3
      We went to Christian counselors the first two times.He's very charming so I guess they figured he got that what he did was wrong and was remorseful. Nobody but me has ever called him out and told him he needs to deal with the brokeness w/in himself.

      My doc gave me more meds. I have a counselor for myself. It's our marriage that never healed. I was ok and trusting him. He had an accident last week and whenI was waiting to take his phone to him in the ER, I felt an urge to check his phone. First time in years. Now he's home, immobile, in lots of pain and I'm taking care of him. He's done a 180 from the way he reacted to discovery of the other affairs, but then he gets snippy and he says it's because of the pain.

      I wish I had a cast I could wear so people could see me, know I'm broken and know to handle with care.