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  • How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no one

    I've had a series of debilitating health issues that I've been working through ever since I was young. I keep fighting though, and I've been able to get incredibly far in my life despite these issues (much farther than "normal" people my age). I'm currently nearing my mid-20's, and I would say that--as horrible as these issues have been--they have acted as a sort of motivator. I was never content to just sit still as I always felt I had to keep struggling to find out what was wrong with me, and I eventually was able to transition these skills into my work and academic careers.

    However, the reactions I get from other people really do influence me negatively--as much as I try not to let them. And I've found myself getting more and more obsessed with trying not to completely fall apart as far as my appearance. It's not vanity; it's preservation.

    Sometimes I envy people who have a single large scar from an operation. It's so finite. It's not like something that will always keep unraveling. When others see these scars, they think 'ouch, what happened?" When people see my scars, they often judge me negatively. I can see it in their faces. Initially undiagnosed digestive problems meant that I couldn't absorb vitamins from all the healthy food I make a habit of eating; this resulted in horribly scarred and thinned skin from malnutrition. Before I solved some of my digestive problems, my stomach would swell so rapidly that the skin on my stomach would rip and bleed in a matter of hours. Enter an abundance of stretch marks and being complimented on my "weight loss" when my stomach would deflate. I just found out that I have some joint problems too which has been the root of my musculoskeletal pain problems since I was a little kid.

    I don't have many friends now because--if there was one thing that my scars have taught me--it was that all the friends I had in the past were fair-weather friends. I might not be the most demonstratively affectionate person, but--by gosh--if someone needs me, I'm there for them. And I've learned that this is an often unrequited personality trait.

    I've prayed so much that something will change, but I'm still left in this broken-down body. How do I get to a place where I can trust in God better? When everywhere around you are beautiful people who don't give a second thought to doing whatever they want and not having to overcome any barriers put up by their own body. Why did God make *me* like this?

  • #2
    Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

    Oh andromache..I am truly sorry you have had these struggles and that people are treating you like this. I am glad you are here! There are many on this board that struggle with different types of physical problem...including myself. I have a scar on my stomach that no one can see..unless I take up belly dancing which I don't plan on doing..lol. I had a perforated ulcer two years ago and had to have emergency surgery. Then I was full of infection and my muscles didn't heal correctly so I got a hernia. So then another surgery less then a year after the first one. I need to have surgery on my back! I have alot of back problems and in pain most of the time from it but not exactly excited about going through any surgery again. I realize this is all minor compared to what you are dealing with though! I couldn't image..

    The Lord, as I am sure you know, doesn't judge us by appearance but by who we are.

    1 Samuel 16:7
    But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."


    You can make some awesome friends on here like I have. Of all ages, all races, of other languages, from all over the world. Its a wonderful gift from God I think for us to be able to make lasting connections on here and elsewhere on the internet. I know its not the same as having someone as your friend right there with you, but its still very nice.

    With the world wide web, people are learning about those that have lifelong health problems..it is opening people's eyes to this and I think teaching them compassion. Give it time.

    Wish I could stay and talk to you more but have to get ready for work.

    God bless
    Julie
    "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

      Originally posted by andromache View Post
      I've had a series of debilitating health issues that I've been working through ever since I was young. I keep fighting though, and I've been able to get incredibly far in my life despite these issues (much farther than "normal" people my age). I'm currently nearing my mid-20's, and I would say that--as horrible as these issues have been--they have acted as a sort of motivator. I was never content to just sit still as I always felt I had to keep struggling to find out what was wrong with me, and I eventually was able to transition these skills into my work and academic careers.

      However, the reactions I get from other people really do influence me negatively--as much as I try not to let them. And I've found myself getting more and more obsessed with trying not to completely fall apart as far as my appearance. It's not vanity; it's preservation.

      Sometimes I envy people who have a single large scar from an operation. It's so finite. It's not like something that will always keep unraveling. When others see these scars, they think 'ouch, what happened?" When people see my scars, they often judge me negatively. I can see it in their faces. Initially undiagnosed digestive problems meant that I couldn't absorb vitamins from all the healthy food I make a habit of eating; this resulted in horribly scarred and thinned skin from malnutrition. Before I solved some of my digestive problems, my stomach would swell so rapidly that the skin on my stomach would rip and bleed in a matter of hours. Enter an abundance of stretch marks and being complimented on my "weight loss" when my stomach would deflate. I just found out that I have some joint problems too which has been the root of my musculoskeletal pain problems since I was a little kid.

      I don't have many friends now because--if there was one thing that my scars have taught me--it was that all the friends I had in the past were fair-weather friends. I might not be the most demonstratively affectionate person, but--by gosh--if someone needs me, I'm there for them. And I've learned that this is an often unrequited personality trait.

      I've prayed so much that something will change, but I'm still left in this broken-down body. How do I get to a place where I can trust in God better? When everywhere around you are beautiful people who don't give a second thought to doing whatever they want and not having to overcome any barriers put up by their own body. Why did God make *me* like this?
      Andromache: First off welcome to the Forums I too am pretty new here and although I don't have the exact Health Issue that you have I feel your pain and I know where you're coming from. I was born with Heart Problems that only get worse with age. I'm 31 now I just last week I had to have a Heart Catherzation to change some things in my heart becasue I've had two episodes where I have a Life-Threatening Arrythmia and I pass out in a matter of seconds not knowing if I'm going to wake up again or not. Thanks to my Inplanted Cradiac Defirbulator I had put in in 1996 my life has been saved a few times. I have many scars as I was not only born with Heart Problems but also Scoliosis (curviture of the Spine) and Leg Problems. I've had over 30 surgeries on my Heart, Back and Legs in my lifetime and sometimes it is very hard to cope and deal with it all. It's so much and it just piles up more and more but like you I push through and persevere and never give up. I couldn't do that without God and I know that now. I've spent many times having pitty on myslef and asking God why he made me like this and at times Hating God for doing this to me. But the older I've gotten the more I realize how lucky I am and that no matter how bad I have it there is always someone in the world that has it worse. Think about some of the kids in Hospitals like St Judes who were born in the Hospital and yet to this day still live in a Hospital. They can't get out to see their friends or their family they can't go to school like normal kids and do all the things that normal kids do. Some may live their entire lives in the Hospital never seeing their own home. I've learned recently that God has put me on this Earth for a reason and that he made me this way for a reason and that is what I believe for you to my friend. He did this for a reason and we may never see his purpose but you are here for a reason. I know it's hard to have Faith when things can look so bad but I PROMISE YOU this...... GOD LOVES YOU and he knows your pain and he wouldn't give you all this if he didn't think you could handle it. I'm reminded of a saying i've seen quite recently somewhere "If God Brought You To This He Will Bring You Through This". That is what you must hold onto I know it's hard believe it's still hard for me at times but just do all that you can to be of good cheer. Do well onto others and love everyone even your enemies. If you need a True Friend you may find more than one on these forums but you can find a Friend in Me. Anytime you wanna talk don't be afraid to PM me. You are a very special person and God brought you to us to give you strength and to help you through your troubled times. Once again Welcome and may God Bless You Always!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

        Wow Dimaline312000 those are some pretty tough things to deal with for sure. Again, I couldn't even image going through all of that! I am glad you are here too with us. I hope this board is a blessing for you.

        Me, personally, I don't think God makes anyone with health problems on purpose, But...that is between you and Him too. He may reveal to certain people other information. From my understanding of the bible (though I realize my understanding isn't always going to be 100%). In the beginning God created Paradise for us...He created and man and woman and called all His work, good. I firmly believe after sin entered the world it affected our very make up. Everyone...literally everyone now in the world has some kind of health, or mental problems, etc, they have to deal with. Some much worse then others. I also know there are verses in the bible about God making a person lame, or blind or deaf...those have been discussed on here before. We know Jesus healed many of those people with those problem He encountered too.

        Everyone has different viewpoints on this and that is ok. What I DO know for sure is whatever problems we are born with or develop later in life, God will use those things for not only our benefit but the benefit of others.

        We know Paul in the bible suffered from something...no one knows exactly what...if it was his eyes, or eye sight, or some other physical problem. But he wrote this:

        2 Corinthians 12

        New King James Version (NKJV)
        The Vision of Paradise

        12 It is doubtless not profitable for me to boast. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord: 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or whether out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a one was caught up to the third heaven. 3 And I know such a man—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— 4 how he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. 5 Of such a one I will boast; yet of myself I will not boast, except in my infirmities. 6 For though I might desire to boast, I will not be a fool; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, lest anyone should think of me above what he sees me to be or hears from me.

        7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


        Some think he was just being spiritually attacked, because of the thorn from satan. Yet, it was demon's or evil spirits that caused many of the physical problems in people that Jesus healed. In some cases, like this, God doesn't heal or take away the 'thorn'...whatever the cause may be, because He grace is enough. Learning to lean completely on Him for contentment in our lives. A very, very difficult lesson to learn, for sure, but once achieved, oh what blessings!

        Then we may be blessed with that supernatural peace...

        Philippians 4:6-8

        New King James Version (NKJV)

        6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


        God bless
        "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

          Originally posted by moonglow View Post
          Wow Dimaline312000 those are some pretty tough things to deal with for sure. Again, I couldn't even image going through all of that! I am glad you are here too with us. I hope this board is a blessing for you.

          Me, personally, I don't think God makes anyone with health problems on purpose, But...that is between you and Him too. He may reveal to certain people other information. From my understanding of the bible (though I realize my understanding isn't always going to be 100%). In the beginning God created Paradise for us...He created and man and woman and called all His work, good. I firmly believe after sin entered the world it affected our very make up. Everyone...literally everyone now in the world has some kind of health, or mental problems, etc, they have to deal with. Some much worse then others. I also know there are verses in the bible about God making a person lame, or blind or deaf...those have been discussed on here before. We know Jesus healed many of those people with those problem He encountered too.

          Everyone has different viewpoints on this and that is ok. What I DO know for sure is whatever problems we are born with or develop later in life, God will use those things for not only our benefit but the benefit of others.

          We know Paul in the bible suffered from something...no one knows exactly what...if it was his eyes, or eye sight, or some other physical problem. But he wrote this:

          2 Corinthians 12

          New King James Version (NKJV)
          The Vision of Paradise

          12 It is doubtless not profitable for me to boast. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord: 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or whether out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a one was caught up to the third heaven. 3 And I know such a man—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— 4 how he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. 5 Of such a one I will boast; yet of myself I will not boast, except in my infirmities. 6 For though I might desire to boast, I will not be a fool; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, lest anyone should think of me above what he sees me to be or hears from me.

          7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


          Some think he was just being spiritually attacked, because of the thorn from satan. Yet, it was demon's or evil spirits that caused many of the physical problems in people that Jesus healed. In some cases, like this, God doesn't heal or take away the 'thorn'...whatever the cause may be, because He grace is enough. Learning to lean completely on Him for contentment in our lives. A very, very difficult lesson to learn, for sure, but once achieved, oh what blessings!

          Then we may be blessed with that supernatural peace...

          Philippians 4:6-8

          New King James Version (NKJV)

          6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


          God bless
          Moonglow: Thanks for posting this, so this arises a question in me and I'm not really sure how I want to state it. So I guess I'll say it like this. There are times and sometimes it's every day that I feel I have some pretty rotten/wicked or even impure thoughts and I don't know why. I'm not proud of them but I must admit them. I feel bad when I get them and try to shake them out of my head but sometimes they still come back. I have found a lot of peace here on these boards and I think everyone here has helped with that and I've found even more peace and realization of how lucky I am to be alive since my last Heart Catherzation. Its it Demon's or Evil Spirits attacking me and does it mean that if they pop into my Head that I am Wicked in the Heart too? If so how do I rid myself of these so that I can know that I am Pure and Good in my heart. I believe God has a purpose for everyone whether he meant to make people with health problems or not I still believe we all have a purpose here or we wouldn't be here. Everyone must go through some type of Hardship in their lives whether it just be for short time or their whole lives, I think that's what would make going to Heaven so rewarding. In the past I have Prayed for a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have prayed for, a lot of earthly things. However just recently I have put alot of that on the back-burner and have Prayed One Big Prayer and made One Big Request of God and that being that he will accept all of my Friends, Family and Myself into his Kingdom of Heaven when it is our time. Sure I don't want to Die anytime soon but I know that it will happen and even more so with health issues that I have. I don't want to be attacked by Satan I want to be rid of him Forever. I may not know alot about what the truth is as to whether God intended or didn't intend to make people with Health Problems but what I BELIEVE is that we are all here for a purpose. Thank you for your post and God Bless!!


          If you don't mind please PM me your response I really don't want to get to far away from andromache's orginal post. This being andromache thread I want it for them so that others can come and help him and not specifically me. Thank you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

            I was going to PM you Dimaline, but thought I just put an answer here for all of you........ Moonglow already knows me so nothing new for her........

            My name is Mieke. I have different kinds of diseases, that won't kill me (I hope), but that also prevent me from walking more than two steps to get in a wheelchair (electric) and then only supported by my husband Charles. Normally I lay on my bed all day long or sit on it for a while to work here on the site as a moderator or talk with my American friends (I'm from Europe) on Facebook. It's my contact with the world most days. I live in a small appartment with my husband and our 2 inside cats, and I have help from Assisted Living that I can call through an intercom at the other side of the street, but my husband takes care of me for the most part. We happen to live on top of a shoppingcentre on the second floor, and we can get most of our things and groceries downstairs. We go no more than twice a week outside to the center for groceries and sometimes even only once. We go regularly with a taxibus to the hospital for treatments (my husband too as he ain't healthy either but he can walk although not more dan a mile or 2. Once a month we go to a bigger shoppingcentre because that's where our bank is and we have business there once a month, because they moved away from our shoppingcentre. Whenever possible my husband controls my electric wheelchair because I have trouble steering it. The only time he doesn't do it is when he has to push a shoppingcart, then I do most of it myself. That's my whole exciting life. Every now and then we get visitors, my family (usually once a month if possible as my mom has healthproblems too), the elder (friend by now) from our church comes regularly and sometimes the minister of our church and I have one good friend who comes every other week to help me with my cardmaking for children and sometimes adults. I try to embroider a bit too but that isn't possible too often because of my arms. I take over 30 tablets a day and a morphine plaster so that keeps me tired and sleepy most of the day.
            We can't go on vacation or other days away because my body can't handle it. Every 8 months I undergo an aneasthesia for injections in my bladdermuscles (I have a cathether through my belly) to keep me dry for about 5-6 months, so when I am completely recovered from it, it's almost time to do it again. Every 7 weeks they change the cathether in the hospital which is very painful and also takes me about 3-4 days to recover from it. I suffer from day to night pain everywhere in my body and only a special diet can help me with my bladderpains, for my jointpains there is no cure. Even with the diet I still have a lot of pain in my bladder that no doctor can cure. So that's my life in a nutshell.
            I do however live a content life. Of course I am rebellious from time to time, but mostly I am very happy and smiling in spite of the pain and my bedridden existence. Why? Because of Daddy (that's how I call God). He is with me all day long, gives me strength and after prayers often takes away my bladderpains or jointpains. But there are also more than enough times that He doesn't and I suffer. But I can even accept that and then my husband distracts me with reading from the Bible, usually uplifting, praising Psalms or texts. Sometimes we watch a movie and that keeps me distracted too. Without Daddy in my life I would not be able to bear this all. He is everything to me. I love my husband, but I love Daddy more, and my husband feels the same way about me. I had to stop a few times because I couldn't sit up anymore so I have to finish this post.
            My advice to you would be seek your joy in the Lord, and not in the world. I know you have to function in the world, as do I, but you can still use those silent moments to talk to your Father in Heaven and at some point He WILL answer you one way or another, maybe send a friend your way or take away some pain, or a nice phonecall, you just wait and see what happens. Because my bed is in the livingroom I don't have a prayercloset and I don't need one either, I talk to Daddy as much as I want to and He often answers. The only thing I am missing in my life is a child, but I lost one in an ectopic pregnancy and never became pregnant after that anymore, not even with IVF. Now that I am too old to have a baby (almost 48) I can look back and understand why I don't have a child. We already (well mostly my husband of course as he takes care of them and their food and litterbox) have our hands full on our cats so a child would be not wise for us to have, especially since we don't come often out of the house and a child needs to go places......... so it's better this way...... It wasn't until recently that I could let go of grieving for the baby I lost, but I know I'll see her in Heaven again (Daddy showed me in a dream that it was a girl).......
            There is much more to tell about my life but I'll leave it at this. If you'd like to talk to me I am always available through the PM system and I would love to be a friend to all of you.

            Love you lots,
            Mieke
            Glorious Day
            Living He loved me
            Dying He saved me
            Buried He carried my sins far away
            Risen He justified
            Freely forever
            One day He's coming
            Oh Glorious Day!

            Casting Crowns

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

              Originally posted by miepie View Post
              I was going to PM you Dimaline, but thought I just put an answer here for all of you........ Moonglow already knows me so nothing new for her........

              My name is Mieke. I have different kinds of diseases, that won't kill me (I hope), but that also prevent me from walking more than two steps to get in a wheelchair (electric) and then only supported by my husband Charles. Normally I lay on my bed all day long or sit on it for a while to work here on the site as a moderator or talk with my American friends (I'm from Europe) on Facebook. It's my contact with the world most days. I live in a small appartment with my husband and our 2 inside cats, and I have help from Assisted Living that I can call through an intercom at the other side of the street, but my husband takes care of me for the most part. We happen to live on top of a shoppingcentre on the second floor, and we can get most of our things and groceries downstairs. We go no more than twice a week outside to the center for groceries and sometimes even only once. We go regularly with a taxibus to the hospital for treatments (my husband too as he ain't healthy either but he can walk although not more dan a mile or 2. Once a month we go to a bigger shoppingcentre because that's where our bank is and we have business there once a month, because they moved away from our shoppingcentre. Whenever possible my husband controls my electric wheelchair because I have trouble steering it. The only time he doesn't do it is when he has to push a shoppingcart, then I do most of it myself. That's my whole exciting life. Every now and then we get visitors, my family (usually once a month if possible as my mom has healthproblems too), the elder (friend by now) from our church comes regularly and sometimes the minister of our church and I have one good friend who comes every other week to help me with my cardmaking for children and sometimes adults. I try to embroider a bit too but that isn't possible too often because of my arms. I take over 30 tablets a day and a morphine plaster so that keeps me tired and sleepy most of the day.
              We can't go on vacation or other days away because my body can't handle it. Every 8 months I undergo an aneasthesia for injections in my bladdermuscles (I have a cathether through my belly) to keep me dry for about 5-6 months, so when I am completely recovered from it, it's almost time to do it again. Every 7 weeks they change the cathether in the hospital which is very painful and also takes me about 3-4 days to recover from it. I suffer from day to night pain everywhere in my body and only a special diet can help me with my bladderpains, for my jointpains there is no cure. Even with the diet I still have a lot of pain in my bladder that no doctor can cure. So that's my life in a nutshell.
              I do however live a content life. Of course I am rebellious from time to time, but mostly I am very happy and smiling in spite of the pain and my bedridden existence. Why? Because of Daddy (that's how I call God). He is with me all day long, gives me strength and after prayers often takes away my bladderpains or jointpains. But there are also more than enough times that He doesn't and I suffer. But I can even accept that and then my husband distracts me with reading from the Bible, usually uplifting, praising Psalms or texts. Sometimes we watch a movie and that keeps me distracted too. Without Daddy in my life I would not be able to bear this all. He is everything to me. I love my husband, but I love Daddy more, and my husband feels the same way about me. I had to stop a few times because I couldn't sit up anymore so I have to finish this post.
              My advice to you would be seek your joy in the Lord, and not in the world. I know you have to function in the world, as do I, but you can still use those silent moments to talk to your Father in Heaven and at some point He WILL answer you one way or another, maybe send a friend your way or take away some pain, or a nice phonecall, you just wait and see what happens. Because my bed is in the livingroom I don't have a prayercloset and I don't need one either, I talk to Daddy as much as I want to and He often answers. The only thing I am missing in my life is a child, but I lost one in an ectopic pregnancy and never became pregnant after that anymore, not even with IVF. Now that I am too old to have a baby (almost 48) I can look back and understand why I don't have a child. We already (well mostly my husband of course as he takes care of them and their food and litterbox) have our hands full on our cats so a child would be not wise for us to have, especially since we don't come often out of the house and a child needs to go places......... so it's better this way...... It wasn't until recently that I could let go of grieving for the baby I lost, but I know I'll see her in Heaven again (Daddy showed me in a dream that it was a girl).......
              There is much more to tell about my life but I'll leave it at this. If you'd like to talk to me I am always available through the PM system and I would love to be a friend to all of you.

              Love you lots,
              Mieke
              Wow, Mieke that is a very moving story. I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. I am so sorry for your struggles and this only makes me feel even luckier for my situation. Not to sound mean but you are a perfect example of how someone could have it worse than me. We all go through trials and tribulations in our lives and a applaud your courage, you are a very inspiring person. I think your story will not only help me but hopefully will help Andromache as well. Yes God works in mysterious ways but he's alwasys working and is always listening. I used to pray once a day at the end of the day, just recently I've been praying 2 to 3 or even 4 times a day. God has truly blessed me and I'm slowly learning that. I'm so sorry about your baby and yes I'm sure you will see her in Heaven. I thank you for sharing your story with us and I'm sure it would help anyone who reads it. Please feel free to PM me whenever you want. I already consider you a friend so God Bless.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                Thank you all for your posts And thank you moonglow for those wonderful verses. I feel like I've been sinning a lot lately by getting too distressed about appearances as far as scars and whatnot. I'm really trying to do better about that. But one issue for me is that I have quite a few sisters in a family where I feel that my parents stressed looks far too much as we were growing up. So it's hard to get out of that habit when you're used to everyone else evaluating and comparing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                  Originally posted by andromache View Post
                  Thank you all for your posts And thank you moonglow for those wonderful verses. I feel like I've been sinning a lot lately by getting too distressed about appearances as far as scars and whatnot. I'm really trying to do better about that. But one issue for me is that I have quite a few sisters in a family where I feel that my parents stressed looks far too much as we were growing up. So it's hard to get out of that habit when you're used to everyone else evaluating and comparing.
                  This whole world is about how we look. It really is... Because of that, its why young girl starve themselves to be skinnier. Why men are now shaving the hair off their chest..its the 'new fad'...why so many are having plastic surgery. There was a lady on a day time talk show (I didn't see it..just the commercials for it) that would sit on her bathroom sink in an awkward position for hours everyday looking at her face and seeing what was wrong with it and picking at it. And thought she was horribly scarred now from doing this for years...plus it actually caused a curve in her spine from sitting like that day after day...I don't know if she was scarred or not or just thought she was. Alot of people are having what is called 'body distortion' now. Meaning a girl that is nothing but skin and bones will look at herself in the mirror and see fat. Where there is NO fat there! Where she is actually dying from starving herself but can't see it. Or people will be convinced they have a big nose, when they don't, or any other number of things because we are bombarded daily with the message of 'looking beautiful'.

                  I image it would be difficult to grow up with that in your own family ....just saying it sounds like maybe your parents were influenced too by the media on this. Its everywhere...

                  There are girls in China getting plastic surgery on their eyes to look more round like us western people...they think its more attractive. I think their eyes is what makes them so beautiful! (don't worry I am not going to get plastic surgery on my eyes to look Chinese...wrong skin tone for that among other things...lol). Each race, each culture is unique because God made them that way. Those that hate people of other races cannot see their beauty though. Just as those that judge others by their appearances compared to a standard set by the secular world (media) cannot see their beauty.

                  Because we have all grown up with this world view, its really hard to change it and start seeing people in a different light. By not comparing them to the latest most famous movie star, or model, or singer...so realize that. I don't know if it a sin to judge yourself in this way....but its not good or healthy and God wants you to see you, as He sees you. In order for us to love others, as Jesus told us too, we have to love ourselves first. "Love your neighbor as yourself". It seems its easier though to love others then it is ourselves, but how deep can that love be for others, if we don't love ourselves? Can it be real God given love, if we don't like ourselves?

                  In your first post you really said some very positive things about yourself. You have not given up or given in to your health problems but instead fought to find some answers so you could help yourself and have been able to use these skills in your job. At least that is how I understood your post. I think that is awesome and amazing too! I have seen people just go into a depression when dealing with major health issues (which is understandable but not really helpful for them) and just get tossed about among doctors and diagnosis. You have stayed on the path and worked hard to better your own health. That says alot! You are obviously a strong person. I can understand though how it would wound you to be judged by your appearance. I think it would really bother anyone. As much as we don't want to admit it, other people's viewpoints about ourselves does affect us. I never believe those that say they don't care what others think.

                  But a person can get to a place where who they are, outshines their appearance and people are actually drawn to them. I have seen that first hand myself all my life. Where in one high school I attended (we moved around alot when I was growing up), the girl that you would think was a wall flower, very plain, not a great figure, etc, was the most popular girl in school because of her personality.

                  1 Peter 3
                  3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.


                  I have know a few people like that in my life and it really didn't matter what they looked like, in fact that just didn't matter at all. I always admired them so much and wish I could be more like that myself.

                  God bless
                  "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                    I love you all. thank you for the uplifting testimonies of your lives. this is by far the best internet christian forum i've been into. God bless family

                    Brother Andrew

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                      Originally posted by imreedemed View Post
                      I love you all. thank you for the uplifting testimonies of your lives. this is by far the best internet christian forum i've been into. God bless family

                      Brother Andrew
                      We Love You Too Brother Andrew!! I agree this is the best Christian Internet Forum. I mean I've only ever been to this one but I'm so glad to be a part of this family!! God Bless You All!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                        Originally posted by moonglow View Post
                        This whole world is about how we look. It really is... Because of that, its why young girl starve themselves to be skinnier. Why men are now shaving the hair off their chest..its the 'new fad'...why so many are having plastic surgery. There was a lady on a day time talk show (I didn't see it..just the commercials for it) that would sit on her bathroom sink in an awkward position for hours everyday looking at her face and seeing what was wrong with it and picking at it. And thought she was horribly scarred now from doing this for years...plus it actually caused a curve in her spine from sitting like that day after day...I don't know if she was scarred or not or just thought she was. Alot of people are having what is called 'body distortion' now. Meaning a girl that is nothing but skin and bones will look at herself in the mirror and see fat. Where there is NO fat there! Where she is actually dying from starving herself but can't see it. Or people will be convinced they have a big nose, when they don't, or any other number of things because we are bombarded daily with the message of 'looking beautiful'.

                        I image it would be difficult to grow up with that in your own family ....just saying it sounds like maybe your parents were influenced too by the media on this. Its everywhere...

                        There are girls in China getting plastic surgery on their eyes to look more round like us western people...they think its more attractive. I think their eyes is what makes them so beautiful! (don't worry I am not going to get plastic surgery on my eyes to look Chinese...wrong skin tone for that among other things...lol). Each race, each culture is unique because God made them that way. Those that hate people of other races cannot see their beauty though. Just as those that judge others by their appearances compared to a standard set by the secular world (media) cannot see their beauty.

                        Because we have all grown up with this world view, its really hard to change it and start seeing people in a different light. By not comparing them to the latest most famous movie star, or model, or singer...so realize that. I don't know if it a sin to judge yourself in this way....but its not good or healthy and God wants you to see you, as He sees you. In order for us to love others, as Jesus told us too, we have to love ourselves first. "Love your neighbor as yourself". It seems its easier though to love others then it is ourselves, but how deep can that love be for others, if we don't love ourselves? Can it be real God given love, if we don't like ourselves?

                        In your first post you really said some very positive things about yourself. You have not given up or given in to your health problems but instead fought to find some answers so you could help yourself and have been able to use these skills in your job. At least that is how I understood your post. I think that is awesome and amazing too! I have seen people just go into a depression when dealing with major health issues (which is understandable but not really helpful for them) and just get tossed about among doctors and diagnosis. You have stayed on the path and worked hard to better your own health. That says alot! You are obviously a strong person. I can understand though how it would wound you to be judged by your appearance. I think it would really bother anyone. As much as we don't want to admit it, other people's viewpoints about ourselves does affect us. I never believe those that say they don't care what others think.

                        But a person can get to a place where who they are, outshines their appearance and people are actually drawn to them. I have seen that first hand myself all my life. Where in one high school I attended (we moved around alot when I was growing up), the girl that you would think was a wall flower, very plain, not a great figure, etc, was the most popular girl in school because of her personality.

                        1 Peter 3
                        3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.


                        I have know a few people like that in my life and it really didn't matter what they looked like, in fact that just didn't matter at all. I always admired them so much and wish I could be more like that myself.

                        God bless
                        I agree with moonglow this whole world is about how we look and I find it disgusting. For to many years people look at what's on the outside and than pass judgement. We shouldn't even judge people at all, it's not our place to do so. When I was younger I was worried about looks but the older I get the wiser I get. I still try to cover up my scars for as much as possible but I've learned that there are good people in this world that can look at a person's scars and not cringe or turn away or even say something hurtful, you just have to have some faith in people. If I could offer up any more advice it would be to don't worry so much about your looks. Your true friends are going to see your inner beauty and they are going to love you for that, as for anyone else if they judge by outer looks that's their problem. God Bless My Friend!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                          Originally posted by andromache View Post
                          I've had a series of debilitating health issues that I've been working through ever since I was young. I keep fighting though, and I've been able to get incredibly far in my life despite these issues (much farther than "normal" people my age). I'm currently nearing my mid-20's, and I would say that--as horrible as these issues have been--they have acted as a sort of motivator. I was never content to just sit still as I always felt I had to keep struggling to find out what was wrong with me, and I eventually was able to transition these skills into my work and academic careers.

                          However, the reactions I get from other people really do influence me negatively--as much as I try not to let them. And I've found myself getting more and more obsessed with trying not to completely fall apart as far as my appearance. It's not vanity; it's preservation.

                          Sometimes I envy people who have a single large scar from an operation. It's so finite. It's not like something that will always keep unraveling. When others see these scars, they think 'ouch, what happened?" When people see my scars, they often judge me negatively. I can see it in their faces. Initially undiagnosed digestive problems meant that I couldn't absorb vitamins from all the healthy food I make a habit of eating; this resulted in horribly scarred and thinned skin from malnutrition. Before I solved some of my digestive problems, my stomach would swell so rapidly that the skin on my stomach would rip and bleed in a matter of hours. Enter an abundance of stretch marks and being complimented on my "weight loss" when my stomach would deflate. I just found out that I have some joint problems too which has been the root of my musculoskeletal pain problems since I was a little kid.

                          I don't have many friends now because--if there was one thing that my scars have taught me--it was that all the friends I had in the past were fair-weather friends. I might not be the most demonstratively affectionate person, but--by gosh--if someone needs me, I'm there for them. And I've learned that this is an often unrequited personality trait.

                          I've prayed so much that something will change, but I'm still left in this broken-down body. How do I get to a place where I can trust in God better? When everywhere around you are beautiful people who don't give a second thought to doing whatever they want and not having to overcome any barriers put up by their own body. Why did God make *me* like this?
                          I cried when I read this, then I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I felt shame because I whine at the things I go through I so want to write something that will comfort you in some way, but I don't know what exactly. So I will just share what is helping me today, to make it through another day. You may already be doing these things, but I wasn't, and it has changed me from the inside out.

                          I came to a place where I had shut almost everyone out of my life, no church, no communication with God. I felt broken, but then I found this forum. It helped, just hearing from a few people here, it helped me I am sure, to start "seeking God with all my heart". I had never done this before and I've been saved since 93. I don't know if it's God's timing, or that He just allows me to go through all the other desperation. What I mean is, I was desperate for a job, or I was desperate for friends, or I was desperate for the right church, and on and on. But I was not desperate for Him. Or at least I did not realize that it was He I needed to be desperate for. I hope this makes sense, I feel I am in a whirlwind of learning right now. I am ridiculously calm for the situation I am in

                          One thing I want to say right now before I forget, I have love for you, because of Jesus. He has made me compassionate and loving of others, less selfish I mean. I have no idea what torture it is to go through what you have and are. I am here on this board (at least) if you ever need to talk though. I am so grateful God brought you here.

                          Ok, so, what has happened since I joined this forum (but it is God, to God be all the glory) I began to read the Word, and realized I was beginning to be "desperate" for Him, His Word. Now it is opening up to me, I can't begin to tell you the things I've learned, even though I had read them many times, but again, I was not desperate for Him. I also overcame my fear of going back to church, He was telling me again, I needed to gather "in person" with other believers. So I just started last Sunday. I picked a small church, one without all the BIG shows (I really love those churches and the christian, contemporary music, but without my very own relationship with God, I left feeling empty, or with excitement that didn't last).

                          I don't want to write more now, I just want you to know how much your post blessed me, and showed me that most important is to love one another, so again, please feel welcome to write me here any time, and if you want to exchange emails, just let me know.

                          denise, a sister in Christ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                            Originally posted by andromache View Post
                            I've had a series of debilitating health issues that I've been working through ever since I was young. I keep fighting though, and I've been able to get incredibly far in my life despite these issues (much farther than "normal" people my age). I'm currently nearing my mid-20's, and I would say that--as horrible as these issues have been--they have acted as a sort of motivator. I was never content to just sit still as I always felt I had to keep struggling to find out what was wrong with me, and I eventually was able to transition these skills into my work and academic careers.

                            However, the reactions I get from other people really do influence me negatively--as much as I try not to let them. And I've found myself getting more and more obsessed with trying not to completely fall apart as far as my appearance. It's not vanity; it's preservation.

                            Sometimes I envy people who have a single large scar from an operation. It's so finite. It's not like something that will always keep unraveling. When others see these scars, they think 'ouch, what happened?" When people see my scars, they often judge me negatively. I can see it in their faces. Initially undiagnosed digestive problems meant that I couldn't absorb vitamins from all the healthy food I make a habit of eating; this resulted in horribly scarred and thinned skin from malnutrition. Before I solved some of my digestive problems, my stomach would swell so rapidly that the skin on my stomach would rip and bleed in a matter of hours. Enter an abundance of stretch marks and being complimented on my "weight loss" when my stomach would deflate. I just found out that I have some joint problems too which has been the root of my musculoskeletal pain problems since I was a little kid.

                            I don't have many friends now because--if there was one thing that my scars have taught me--it was that all the friends I had in the past were fair-weather friends. I might not be the most demonstratively affectionate person, but--by gosh--if someone needs me, I'm there for them. And I've learned that this is an often unrequited personality trait.

                            I've prayed so much that something will change, but I'm still left in this broken-down body. How do I get to a place where I can trust in God better? When everywhere around you are beautiful people who don't give a second thought to doing whatever they want and not having to overcome any barriers put up by their own body. Why did God make *me* like this?
                            Hi andromache
                            You are in good company here in that God choose the things of this world that seemed unimportant, undesirable. We do not belong to God because of any beauty, or talent of our own. Read these few lines of scripture, and you will see we all come from the same back ground....

                            1Co 1:26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when God chose you. Not many of you were considered wise by human standards. Not many of you were powerful. Not many of you belonged to important families.
                            1Co 1:27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. He chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
                            1Co 1:28 God chose the things of this world that are common and looked down on. He chose what is not considered to be important to do away with what is considered to be important.

                            We all fit into this category. I don't have many friends except those in the body of Christ, sometimes the only person who really understands me is the Lord. He knows our thoughts and every thing we are going through, but he gives us grace to endure what ever it is. The weaker we are the stronger his grace is. We can not loose.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: How to trust in God when your body is falling apart and it seems like there's no

                              I wanted to give you a song that may lift your heart today, it did mine denise

                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ-kxZs3emw

                              Hillsong United "Oceans"(Where Feet May Fail)
                              Last edited by miepie; Sep 23rd 2013, 09:40 PM. Reason: trying to fix link

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