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Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

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  • Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

    My brothers and sisters in Christ
    I dont know where to start so bear with me.
    I have been a beliver since the age of 8.....I got married at 31
    my ex wife was catholic...in 2007 I was active in a church I renewed my faith with God....needless to say my ex was upset cause she wasn't there.....it broke my sprit BAD...and I stopped going to church.
    we registered my little girl to a church day care......but problems with my ex where just so dragged out....the simplest things could have been resolved but i guess it wasn't God will....I got resentfull on many things towards her that led to have a affair with an old grifrend who went to church back when I was 16...and I currently live with her.
    I don't know if I'm cursed.....I havent been able to pray.....find a church....and REALLY walk with God!!!! During my seperation with my ex we tried to work out things....however I don't think my ex wanted to.....this pastor who was a counselor/pastor to help couples didn't make the effort to TRY to reconcilate us I had to contact him.....I felt cheated....and really disappointed....I wanted to sent him a e-mail to tell him how I felt in the worst way....I know what I did was wrong in the eyes of the Lord, . I wanted to be active with that church and needless to say that church turned its back on me....I am a local artist...and I wanted to give back to God through my talent....I have had great acolades in this world....but I havent been able to give back to God.

    I have had a hard time praying and sleeping....I'm contsantly worried...there are days that i feel I'm gonna have a stroke.... I have been looking for another part-time job and havent be able to find one desipite my experience....I was currently with a part-time job for 8 years...looking at going back but nothing has surface awaiting a call that might not come.....I'm feeling so lost....worthless...like I've lost everything....my self esteem
    ..and.....to the point of crying everyday when i'm alone and awake!!!!

    Is there any hope for me or do I deserve this punishment!?

    Lost in Christ....beaten

  • #2
    Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

    Originally posted by Artstar70 View Post
    My brothers and sisters in Christ
    I dont know where to start so bear with me.
    I have been a beliver since the age of 8.....I got married at 31
    my ex wife was catholic...in 2007 I was active in a church I renewed my faith with God....needless to say my ex was upset cause she wasn't there.....it broke my sprit BAD...and I stopped going to church.
    we registered my little girl to a church day care......but problems with my ex where just so dragged out....the simplest things could have been resolved but i guess it wasn't God will....I got resentfull on many things towards her that led to have a affair with an old grifrend who went to church back when I was 16...and I currently live with her.
    I don't know if I'm cursed.....I havent been able to pray.....find a church....and REALLY walk with God!!!! During my seperation with my ex we tried to work out things....however I don't think my ex wanted to.....this pastor who was a counselor/pastor to help couples didn't make the effort to TRY to reconcilate us I had to contact him.....I felt cheated....and really disappointed....I wanted to sent him a e-mail to tell him how I felt in the worst way....I know what I did was wrong in the eyes of the Lord, . I wanted to be active with that church and needless to say that church turned its back on me....I am a local artist...and I wanted to give back to God through my talent....I have had great acolades in this world....but I havent been able to give back to God.

    I have had a hard time praying and sleeping....I'm contsantly worried...there are days that i feel I'm gonna have a stroke.... I have been looking for another part-time job and havent be able to find one desipite my experience....I was currently with a part-time job for 8 years...looking at going back but nothing has surface awaiting a call that might not come.....I'm feeling so lost....worthless...like I've lost everything....my self esteem
    ..and.....to the point of crying everyday when i'm alone and awake!!!!

    Is there any hope for me or do I deserve this punishment!?

    Lost in Christ....beaten
    Hi Artstar
    I feel for you in what you are going through. I have been in a situation similar as yours before, and it seemed almost impossible to get out of. But there is good news. If I was you the first thing I would do is come before God, even though you might feel like he is not there, but I guarantee he is. Confess your sins before him, then come against the principalities and powers and wicked spirits that are coming against you. This is why you feel hopeless. These spirits know you belong to the Lord they really hate you. You have power over all of them in the name of Jesus. You are in a weakened state, and that is when the devil will try all he has to stop you from doing the work God he has for you. Remember, as I am sure you already know, "greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world." Here is another scripture that guarantees you victory in your situation....


    2Co 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
    2Co 12:8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
    2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

    You being at your weakest state, this is when the Power of God is the strongest in you. You can not lose, you are more than a conquer in Christ. Never give up!!!

    Curtis

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    • #3
      Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

      Your story kinda reminds me of King David of Israel... just that David went a step further and killed his lover's husband. I don't know maybe you can read psalms 50/1 for some encouragement?

      Curtis is right, His grace is always sufficient

      God bless bro

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

        Originally posted by Artstar70 View Post
        Is there any hope for me or do I deserve this punishment!?

        Lost in Christ....beaten
        In Christ, it's Not so much a matter of punishment, or being cursed, as it is one of getting into circumstances that will require time and a genuine seeking of the Lord to heal and repair. We cannot always know what form our restored life will take and it will often be different than what we desired.

        Heartfelt repentance and confession bring us into the presence God and His forgiveness, but the temporal damages brought by sin are not always easily or quickly fixed as they usually involve other people. But God, being a multi-tasker will work in many areas of our life simultaneously and in the lives of those involved with us.

        The anxieties, feelings of despair and notions of worthlessness can only be quelled as we focus on His mercy and seek Him with all our hearts. I recommend the middle of the flock, constantly near the Shepherd, as the best place to do that.

        You have my prayers, here, Artstar, as does your wife and little girl, asking for restoration, reconciliation and blessings for you and your family.

        "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:16

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

          thanks for your replies... unfortunately reconciliation between myself and my wife is pretty much over... when I try to go back it's funny because supposedly she found the Lord... however I'm not here to criticize or judge her.... but when I was staying there for the weekends at my home she would ask... what was I going to do.... what were my intentions.... I never got come back we'll work this out.... it was always you cheated.... and you neied to find your own place.... you need to pay me money for the mortgage.... etc etc cetera I ended up assaulting her... but no charges were pressed against me.... but I knew from that point.... she didn't want me back she wanted to make everything about money.... and my career choices and or career choices..... fact of the matter is I don't think she found it in her heart to be forgiving.... and I don't think that Pastor was in my favor either... he kept judge me telling me that I had no ground to stand on.... and just kept judging me the whole time... I understand he's just a man... but I think a man of God should be concerned... for lost sheep I know I'm one of them... and I'm grateful for your prayers....it hit me hard when this summer I took my daughter to vacation Bible school.... at her church.... I saw all the artwork... and crafts that were made to design Vacation Bible School..... and I'm thinking that could have been me doing that serving the Lord... giving I missed out on serving the Lordback.... I may not preach... or single play an instrument but I know what God has given me.... and that's the sad part about it.... and that really hurt me after I dropped off my daughter I cried on the way home.... it wasn't because I missed my wife it was because

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          • #6
            Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

            .... it was another missed opportunity.... or kept from serving the Lord.... or blocked..... away from being involved..... I'm very grateful for your prayers... and I'm glad I found this fourm.... please keep me in your prayers as always and thank you again be blessed.

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            • #7
              Re: Broken Spirit...with Christ...lost.....cursed.....

              Even if restoration of your marriage is not likely, Artstar, reconciliation and restoration is still possible on several, higher levels, if your main desire is to walk in the full blessings and will of God, which I gathered was the gist of your concern in posting.

              There is so much to consider here, such as the plight of your daughter and the lingering effects this can have on her life.

              I had overlooked the fact, stated in your first post, that you continue to live with the other girl? Do you think this has any bearing on your circumstances before God?

              And as you related in your second post, you assaulted your wife out of anger, and you opine that she is unforgiving and her conduct is somehow un-Christian. You then go on to pretty much dismiss the pastor in similar terms.

              So, getting to that place where we find our actions consistently pleasing to the Lord can involve some serious change, earnest seeking and a bit of time, though the Lord's forgiveness is instant.

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