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  • Stress

    I am completely stressed out. I need to find God's will for my life, whether it be to remain single on this earth or get married. I don't want to marry but people I'm around, including my family, say I have to. I just don't know what to do. By the way, I'm 20 going on 21.

  • #2
    Re: Stress

    You have PLENTY of time to decide. You're barely out of your teens. Why be all stressed out over something that may or may not happen any time soon? Anyway, IF its meant for you to marry, and if you wait upon the Lord, the good Lord will send the right man into your life.

    Marriage is a lifetime commitment, not something you commit to just because family or friends say tell you to go and commit.
    Are you serious about anyone at the moment?
    Is there a man in your life that you want to share your life with, for the remainder of your life?
    Is there a man now that you want to grow old with?

    If not, then wait patiently on the Lord and determine in your heart that's what you're going to do...wait patiently upon the Lord and serve him faithfully for this is your whole duty. Why the big need to rush anyway?
    My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

    "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)

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    • #3
      Re: Stress

      I honestly don't believe I have plenty of time to decide. I know people say I'm young, I have all these years ahead of me, but I believe Jesus is coming back within the next few years so this whole thing should not even be an issue. I get to be with Jesus and He loves me more than a man could love a woman, but I'm sick of people telling me I need to marry when I really don't want to. I don't ever want to share my life with anyone. Whenever I think about it I feel horrible. I know marriage is a gift from God and He ordained it but I feel guilty whenever I consider getting married. It's a long story.

      Maybe I should stay away from men? If God really wants me to have someone, He'll send someone to me. I guess that could be the game plan?

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      • #4
        Re: Stress

        I just can't understand all the obsession with 'getting married.'

        You may change your mind in years to come. After all, Christ may or may not return in a few years! We really don't know.

        I'd just lay aside the worry of 'getting married' for 5 or 10 years, and then think about it.
        Find a job.
        Get involved in a church.
        Get into studying the Word of God.
        Make something of your life.
        And above all, make for yourself a life that will COUNT for Christ!
        My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

        "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)

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        • #5
          Re: Stress

          But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

          If you are obeying God as well as you know how, and being attentive to Him in prayer, then your uneasiness about marriage is probably God telling you to wait. Maybe you will want to marry in the future, and maybe not, but for now God wants you to throw your stress on Him and trust Him. Don't let your parents push you into marriage when God is not leading you there right now. I have the impression that you're not independent yet, that your parents think marriage is a good way for someone else to support you. I think it would be better for you to be independent for a while, which will allow you to grow in faith and self-understanding. Now that will be stressful and keep you turning to God.

          Okay, post#2 has more information. We don't know when Christ will return. I spend a lot of time thinking about this, and I don't think we have just two years remaining. If I'm wrong, I'll still be ready. Don't put your life on hold for that reason. Serve Jesus at though you have another 20 years here, because you probably do.
          Last edited by little watchman; Dec 14th 2012, 05:34 AM. Reason: slow to reply...

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          • #6
            Re: Stress

            My parents just want me to get married so I'll give them grandchildren. My church puts a huge emphasis that most if not all single women will eventually be married. I feel like saying No that's not what I want. I feel alone, like no one understands me. I never want to get close to a man emotionally.

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            • #7
              Re: Stress

              Originally posted by Jesus'sGirl View Post
              My parents just want me to get married so I'll give them grandchildren. My church puts a huge emphasis that most if not all single women will eventually be married. I feel like saying No that's not what I want. I feel alone, like no one understands me. I never want to get close to a man emotionally.
              You do not have to get married to please other people
              The LORD is my Miracle

              G_d was gracious He has shown favor


              Hope is a seed
              God plants in our hearts
              to remind us
              there are better things ahead.
              -Holley Gerth

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              • #8
                Re: Stress

                Originally posted by Jesus'sGirl View Post
                My parents just want me to get married so I'll give them grandchildren. My church puts a huge emphasis that most if not all single women will eventually be married. I feel like saying No that's not what I want. I feel alone, like no one understands me. I never want to get close to a man emotionally.
                You shouldn't marry ANYONE to make anyone happy. Your parents and your church won't have to live your with your husband if you decide to marry, you will.

                You're still young and there's plenty of time for you to marry or NOT marry. Take your time.

                I've been married for 40 years so it bothers me when you say you do not want to get emotionally close to a man. Can you explain that a bit for me?

                Thanks - and by the way - welcome.
                V
                I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
                - Mahatma Gandhi



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                • #9
                  Re: Stress

                  Alright. I'm gonna have to just be firm and keep saying to them I am not getting married. Thanks. And it's actually personal why I don't want to get close emotionally. I'm not saying it's bad or trying to offend you.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Stress

                    Originally posted by Jesus'sGirl View Post
                    Alright. I'm gonna have to just be firm and keep saying to them I am not getting married. Thanks. And it's actually personal why I don't want to get close emotionally. I'm not saying it's bad or trying to offend you.
                    Tell them that you appreciate their concern, however it's up to the Lord whether or not you get married.
                    Pray about it, then leave it in God's hands and continue your walk with Him.

                    Jeanne
                    Refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for your work shall be rewarded declares the Lord, and they (your children) will come back from the land of the enemy. Jeremiah 31:16-17
                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                    Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so that you can discover He is the rock at the bottom

                    All the forces of darkness cannot stop what God has ordained. Isaiah 14:27

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                    • #11
                      Re: Stress

                      Thanks I'll try

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                      • #12
                        Re: Stress

                        Originally posted by Jesus'sGirl View Post
                        Alright. I'm gonna have to just be firm and keep saying to them I am not getting married. Thanks. And it's actually personal why I don't want to get close emotionally. I'm not saying it's bad or trying to offend you.
                        You didn't offend me in the least, I was just confused by the statement.

                        Maybe the best way of approaching it at this point would be to tell your parents and the church leadership that you do not want to marry now - and that may change on down the road or it may not.

                        I would also say that since you are an adult, your parents can't force you into marrying anyone. This is a choice you will make, hopefully with their guidance but ultimately, this is your decision.

                        V
                        I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
                        - Mahatma Gandhi



                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Stress

                          I told my mom I don't want to now but she forbids me to tell anyone else in case that stops anyone from asking me out. I feel like I'm in a trap. I'm gonna go talk to a counselor about this.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Stress

                            Originally posted by Jesus'sGirl View Post
                            I told my mom I don't want to now but she forbids me to tell anyone else in case that stops anyone from asking me out. I feel like I'm in a trap. I'm gonna go talk to a counselor about this.
                            "Go out" as in on a date in a social setting with others? I'm assuming you would have no problem with that. Or are you saying you do not want to have any relations with men at all?

                            Some of my best friends are men. I do not nor have I ever viewed them as "husband material". They're people and they enrich my life by bringing different perspectives to a situation.

                            I would also say your mother is mistaken if she thinks all young men are in the market for a wife. They MAY be but many times, they are also just looking for a friend to share events with.

                            Why the pressure to marry? Marriage brings all sorts of responsibilities and a high level of commitment. I would think your parents and your church would be pleased that you aren't wanting to walk into a situation that you believe you are not ready to accept.
                            I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
                            - Mahatma Gandhi



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                            • #15
                              Re: Stress

                              I would suggest that you take your mother along, as she sounds to be in need of an objective counselor as well.

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