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  • Divorce & remarriage

    Alrighty...
    This topic is personal for me.

    During the last year year & a half, I ended up being separated & divorced.
    BUT... God has blessed me immensely throughout the whole process, as well as since then.

    I met someone amazingly special about 8 months ago.
    She is also divorced & has children from her first marriage.

    Here's the thing:
    She's concerned about getting re-married, based on the scriptures speaking about the subject.

    I tried explaining that when her husband signed the divorce papers HE was also divorcing HER... thus giving her the freedom to remarry someday.
    (Although SHE was the one who filed)
    I also tried explaining that the important thing is "God's grace & forgiveness" & that the "laws" have been fulfilled through Jesus.

    I'm a bit rusty in my apologetics, so I know I didn't come across as well as I'd hoped or intended.


    Soooo, I wanted to come ask my friends for some input.
    I could use some assistance in explaining that her divorce is part of her past; & that regardless of the situation, it's STILL comes down to God's grace & forgiveness.

    Anyway, thanks in advance for your help.


    Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
    _______________________________________________
    There was a time when I used to think Macro-evolution might be a possibility..... but then I GREW UP!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Meike & I have the same birthday! Na-na na, na-na!!!

  • #2
    Re: Divorce & remarriage

    Don't have any personal wisdom to give here. Just want to say that I pray that whoever does reply, do so with love.
    This IGNORE button is by far one of the most useful tools I've used to keep my peace while navigating through some of the madness.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Divorce & remarriage

      All I will say is that some Christian denominations have decided to go farther than what the Bible says about the subject. They have imposed far stricter guidelines and rules than God ever intended. Yes-He hates divorce but divorce is spoken about in scriptures.

      One last note I want to add. Sixty percent (60%) or re-marriages end in divorce and if you are blessed to try a third time - 80% ends in divorce. So make sure all your issues are dealt with and that no one enters marriage forcibly or by cohersion!!!
      Amazzin

      Obedience to God is more than a soldier obeying his commander. It is our grateful response to the Lover of our souls.

      CHURCH: Where worship is enjoyed, not endured - Grace is preached, not legalism - And Christ is exalted, not religion!



      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Divorce & remarriage

        I would definitely have to agree...
        I know her former church was one of those denominations.

        After trying to explain that it's OK, the best thing I could think of was to tell her to pray & ask God for clarity, peace & understanding.
        I found a couple articles that do a pretty decent job of breaking it down into terms that are easier to grasp; so maybe the combination of those & prayer will help.

        But I greatly appreciate the input so far.
        So, thank you!
        Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
        _______________________________________________
        There was a time when I used to think Macro-evolution might be a possibility..... but then I GREW UP!
        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Meike & I have the same birthday! Na-na na, na-na!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Divorce & remarriage

          I guess it comes down to what we feel about the words of Jesus and the teachings of Paul to his churches way back when.

          It also becomes an issue of God's willingness to forgive and what constitutes sin.

          I was married to an atheist. We broke up and divorced.

          I married a Christian woman who finally got me into a church (took years!), and God has transformed my life. I am within a year of completing seminary training. My wife and I live for Christ Jesus.

          We both are on our second marriage, both previously married to atheists.

          Did God bless my second marriage? Yes, absolutely. Did God forgive us for our previous divorces? Yes, no doubt.

          Do we believe we are living in sin now because we got married? No.

          Pray, ask God for His will. If He leads you to do it, know that this marriage is permanent and that the marriage vow is to each other and to God. If you are not willing to do that, don't get married.

          I pray that your life will be as blessed as mine. God's will be done.
          Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
          George Orwell

          www.r2ucv.com



          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Divorce & remarriage

            Hey! If you're brave enough to hear all sides, from the loving and the unloving alike, take a look at this thread: http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...ge-and-Divorce.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Divorce & remarriage

              When denominations add to the scriptures and make up their own rules about things such as when divorce is allowed, and when it isn't, they are in sin. They are trying to exalt their views above God's. If God decides to abdicate his authority to mankind I suppose we then can say our rules count and God's rules don't, but, until that point, I recommend we stay in our places.
              Last edited by Warrior4God; Mar 23rd 2013, 02:47 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Divorce & remarriage

                I would maintain that, since my divorce happened before I became a Christian, God has no problem forgiving me.

                The issue right now: once we are Christians and know what God has instructed us, will we willingly violate what Jesus taught?

                There are two sides to that coin. Consider them well.
                Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
                George Orwell

                www.r2ucv.com



                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Divorce & remarriage

                  Originally posted by Boo View Post
                  I would maintain that, since my divorce happened before I became a Christian, God has no problem forgiving me.
                  The issue right now: once we are Christians and know what God has instructed us, will we willingly violate what Jesus taught?
                  There are two sides to that coin. Consider them well.
                  I think a key point is where you are now. Remember Jesus came - while we were yet sinners. If you are both divorced already then you are in a different place to if you were considering divorcing someone to marry someone else.
                  God wants marriages which reflect Him. If this is something you can both commit to then I see no reason why you should not. God loves a GOOD marriage. Remember He initiated the first one.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Divorce & remarriage

                    It is a matter of knowing what sin is.

                    In the Old Testament, God gave the people of Israel The Law so that they would know what sin is.

                    When Adam and Eve were in the garden, they could not sin until they ate the forbidden fruit.

                    If my sins take place before I understand what a sin is, what then? Once I am aware that a certain action goes against God, I refrain from that action.

                    When our government calls something "OK" or "legal," many folks mentally accept that this action is NOT a sin. The government then replaces God's precepts with its own. That is why people press so hard to have legal abortions and gay marriage. They are trying to cancel God's Law by establishing their own.

                    Now that I am in Christ, I will not willingly go against what He teaches.

                    Unlike those that say that I NOW sin because I am remarried and that I should sin again in order to cancel the first one, I must dispute the claim. God has forgiven me and has since blessed me immensely. I will not repay his love and grace by willingly sinning against Him.
                    Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
                    George Orwell

                    www.r2ucv.com



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Divorce & remarriage

                      Originally posted by markdrums View Post
                      Alrighty...
                      This topic is personal for me.

                      During the last year year & a half, I ended up being separated & divorced.
                      BUT... God has blessed me immensely throughout the whole process, as well as since then.

                      I met someone amazingly special about 8 months ago.
                      She is also divorced & has children from her first marriage.

                      Here's the thing:
                      She's concerned about getting re-married, based on the scriptures speaking about the subject.

                      I tried explaining that when her husband signed the divorce papers HE was also divorcing HER... thus giving her the freedom to remarry someday.
                      (Although SHE was the one who filed)
                      I also tried explaining that the important thing is "God's grace & forgiveness" & that the "laws" have been fulfilled through Jesus.

                      I'm a bit rusty in my apologetics, so I know I didn't come across as well as I'd hoped or intended.


                      Soooo, I wanted to come ask my friends for some input.
                      I could use some assistance in explaining that her divorce is part of her past; & that regardless of the situation, it's STILL comes down to God's grace & forgiveness.

                      Anyway, thanks in advance for your help.


                      My understanding is that sin cannot be forgiven except one repent. God has issued His law regarding one who transgresses His marriage law.

                      Rom 7:2-3
                      2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.
                      3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
                      NKJV

                      I believe there is much to be considered before remarrying.
                      Paul

                      "It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry"
                      Thomas Paine

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Divorce & remarriage

                        I don't believe that "repent" means to commit the sin of divorce again to correct a sin of divorce.
                        Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
                        George Orwell

                        www.r2ucv.com



                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Divorce & remarriage

                          Originally posted by Paccls View Post
                          My understanding is that sin cannot be forgiven except one repent. God has issued His law regarding one who transgresses His marriage law.

                          Rom 7:2-3
                          2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.
                          3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
                          NKJV

                          I believe there is much to be considered before remarrying.
                          Well, since Paul is only addressing the woman, I guess it's all good for the guy.
                          This IGNORE button is by far one of the most useful tools I've used to keep my peace while navigating through some of the madness.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Divorce & remarriage

                            The Scripture in Romans is more so about the New Covenant than it is about marriage and divorce. It's just a parallel to make a demonstration in order to drive home a point, nothing further. It's about Jesus dying and being raised from the dead, and so freeing us from the old covenant with all its rules, and that's the only doctrine that should be derived from that passage, really, because that's the context in which it was given.

                            Actually in Rome, legal code was such that a divorce only had to be initiated by one party, and that this party's will was what made the divorce legal. Paul as a Roman citizen would have known this, so it could not have been his intent to harp on the legalities of marriage and divorce in this context. This being the same Paul who stated that the believers were to be subject to their governing authorities (and the legal code those authorities enforced), and I do think Paul was smart enough to separate Mosaic Law from Roman law from the law of sin and death and other such spiritual principles.

                            Therefore, in context, Romans 7 is to be understood as being after Romans 6 and leading up to Romans 8, regarding sin, the power of sin, the canceling of sin's power by Christ's death, and our new life in the resurrection under God's power instead.

                            But, ya know ... people will derive other things anyway, depending on who you ask.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Divorce & remarriage

                              Originally posted by Paccls View Post
                              My understanding is that sin cannot be forgiven except one repent. God has issued His law regarding one who transgresses His marriage law.

                              Rom 7:2-3
                              2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.
                              3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
                              NKJV

                              I believe there is much to be considered before remarrying.
                              So should one divorce again and go back to the original spouse? Does committing the sin of adultery again rectify the matter?

                              When Jesus gave living water to the woman at the well, He didn't say "If you remarry your first of five husbands, I will give you living water." Did He?
                              Some people don't mind contradicting themselves as long as they can keep disagreeing with you...

                              Comment

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