Been trying to increase my faith. Asked God for a lot of stuff, mostly that had to do with me: a girlfriend, wisdom, purity, knowledge, willpower to stop sinning. Some of it was for others: my dad to be healthy after surgery, other people to do well at work, brethren at church to overcome cancer.
Unfortunately I have become selfish. I kept on asking God for possessions. Even to the point of covetousness, idolatry. Now I want to be thankful for what I have, but when I give thanks, my faith dies. I hope you know what I mean. Giving thanks does not produce the same kind of faith in me as when I ask God for things, believing. I feel like I'm in a bind because when I give thanks, for some reason, I become more timid, and have less courage. But when I continue to ask for stuff, I become even more selfish, unable to see things from other peoples' perspectives, and I think thoughts like "me me me me I want this, that, more of this!"
Even when I give thanks for food, a small honest part of me knows that my faith got a bit weaker. Why does this happen and how can I incorporate thankfulness into my life without my faith getting substantially weaker?
Josh
Unfortunately I have become selfish. I kept on asking God for possessions. Even to the point of covetousness, idolatry. Now I want to be thankful for what I have, but when I give thanks, my faith dies. I hope you know what I mean. Giving thanks does not produce the same kind of faith in me as when I ask God for things, believing. I feel like I'm in a bind because when I give thanks, for some reason, I become more timid, and have less courage. But when I continue to ask for stuff, I become even more selfish, unable to see things from other peoples' perspectives, and I think thoughts like "me me me me I want this, that, more of this!"
Even when I give thanks for food, a small honest part of me knows that my faith got a bit weaker. Why does this happen and how can I incorporate thankfulness into my life without my faith getting substantially weaker?
Josh
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