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Prayer, please!

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  • Prayer, please!

    I don't like asking others for prayer for myself but I have to now. I'm a child of rage. I get so angry over things and I always have. Whether it's traffic or family members doing things to make me angry. I don't want to, but I do. I was like this even as a child and I know that it's killing me inside and has even damaged some of my relationships.

    I scream and yell at traffic when I'm having a bad day and today, my wife called about something important and it interrupted my work. I snapped at her and almost cursed at her and even did so in my head when I hung up the phone.

    The problem is that I will calm down long enough to pray and repent, then seconds later I'm doing it again. In traffic (I'm in the car a lot for my job), I scream at people who make me mad and then I repent and ask God to help me. Then someone will do something and I'm screaming profanities again.

    I know what the Bible says about being a child of rage and I really don't want to be one. I really don't; I don't want to be like this but I don't know how to stop. I just feel the pressure of the world on my shoulders all the time and I feel like everyone wants something from me and that's the only reason that they even interact with me.

    I just don't want God to give up on me.

    Just pray for me, please, that I can learn some coping mechanisms that help me.

  • #2
    Re: Prayer, please! you have any unforgiviness in your heart? Any thing where in the past someone has hurt you and you haven't dealt with it and forgiven them? I ask because I was very similar to you over hurt and anger at my ex-husband. I felt betrayed and abused by him. While I thought I was over it, I wasn't. All those years had built up and built up in me and it started coming out in extreme anger...over minor things. I was also doing the road rage thing, though not cussing. Instead I called people cows...slow poke cows in other words and my son, who just just a toddler started repeating what I was saying and yelling at people from his car seat! I think that is when I realized I had a problem.

    In my rage, everything would turn someone turning on a red light. I remembering that happening as a kid too when other kids were hitting me (fights). Everything would turn red just before I started beating on them..then I wouldn't remember what I did. Its like having a rage blackout. Very, very scary! And here I had a little child depending on me. I was afraid this out of control rage would turn on him if I didn't do something about it. I was now a single parent, raising him alone and also felt under a huge amount of stress. So I went to a therapist thinking if I could just talk about the things my ex had put us through I could get it all out and lay it to rest but (ended up seeing three of them!) they all said, oh that's in the past, just forget and work on trying to relax... Seriously. They just wanted me to do relaxation exercises. One gave me some medication to help with my anger that made me feel sick so I couldn't take it.

    Finally I realized I needed to talk to God about this..not people. So I prayed and ask Him to help me. He had me write a letter to my ex detailing everything he put me and our son through and at the end of it, I needed to forgive him and let go of that pain which was only hurting me! Wasn't hurting him any... Once I did that the rage stopped.

    Repenting is great, but since you continue to do it, its not really repenting which means turning away from that least you realize it and are asking for prayers on it. That is a good step because too many don't even realize they are like this. I will be glad to pray for you on this...that the Lord guide you on what is really causing this tension and anger so you can let it go. For you to think that people only deal with you because they want something from you is one of the clues here...why would you ever think that? What happened in your life to cause you to feel that way? Just some things to ask yourself.

    God bless
    "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson


    • #3
      Re: Prayer, please!

      I have to admit my post isn't going to be as In depth as moonglow however I will be praying for you. That the Lord may fill you with the Spirit so that you may feel His Joy and love. Also that He may deliver you from your troubles and stresses so you can live for the Lord and worry about nothing else.
      Every temptation is of the devil, and every sin leads to death.


      • #4
        Re: Prayer, please!

        Joining the others in prayer for you tonight - this is an issue I can certainly relate to: an enormous struggle before the convicting and comforting aid of the Holy Spirit.

        Asking the Lord to console you at each and every instance where your temper might be tried.

        (I need to pray myself away from anger several times a day, but, Thank The Lord, those prayers are answered


        • #5
          Re: Prayer, please!

          You are in my prayers brother. Please know you are not alone in this. I too struggle in this area daily.

          P.S. The Lord has promised that will never give up on us (Heb 13:5).
          If one member suffers, all suffer together ESV, 1Co 12:26a