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From darkness to light, via light and darkness

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  • From darkness to light, via light and darkness

    I've been thinking it's probably about time I wrote some form of testimony here, so here goes:

    As a teenager I grew bored with church, not least because the average age was significantly older than my parents. It was hard to see that it offered me any meaning and just seemed to be the same old thing week in, week out. Looking for something more interesting I found much faster results with the occult. I'd experimented with ESP and telekinesis with a friend and found myself scoring significantly higher than chance when doing simple red/black tests with playing cards, and it just went from there. Before long I'd started reading about assorted pagan rituals and various forms of magick, and seeing results that just couldn't be explained away.

    I still went through the motions of going to church, largely because I didn't have the heart to tell my parents that I wasn't interested in it (at all), and because it seemed pretty meaningless anyway. Then I found a church which was far more alive, and which had young people there as well. After getting to know a few people there and thinking about things I decided I didn't really want to be involved in magick, so tore up the couple of books I'd collected. But still there was something missing, I was still neither hot nor cold.

    At University I joined the Christian Union and at least went through the motions of semi-regular attendance, made a few Christian friends, and everything seemed fine. But, much like the other students, I'd discovered beer in a big way and the cheap student bars were frequently far more enticing than the Christian Union prayer meetings. So I was still keeping one foot in each camp, keeping my options open and, spiritually speaking, going nowhere fast. I was trying to live a Christian life, but wanted to do it on my own terms. Then came a Christian Union retreat. Someone had cancelled at short notice so I got a place at the weekend, and on a seminar about spiritual warfare, which presented me with the idea that involvement in the occult could lead to spiritual damage. After the seminar I took the speaker to one side and had a long talk with him, which lasted into the small hours of the morning, praying and casting out a spirit that wasn't supposed to be there (at the time I thought it was a full-blown deliverance from possession, looking back I think it was more likely a chronic oppression).

    The change was immediate and profound, people were constantly telling me my face was radiant and I was on cloud nine for several days. The fruit and the gifts of the Spirit started to show in short order, and the Christian Union meetings started to actually mean something. I'd go out door-to-door evangelising and so on. But still there was something missing, although I didn't know it at the time. Partly it was down to the bullheadedness that goes with being 18 years old, partly it was down to a residual unwillingness to give everything to God, the thought that I could do things by myself with God's help if it got tricky.

    Thinking I could do it myself my faith never really developed. I still didn't spend much time reading the Bible, and slowly started to spend less time praying. At our weekly evangelism meetings I'd find reasons to stay behind rather than go knocking on doors, and before long started finding reasons not to turn up at all. Faith was on a downward spiral and my faith in God took a succession of knocks, which slowly cut it down to size and destroyed it. I could list specific examples where individual people left me increasingly disinclined to associate with the group but the bottom line is that because of my disillusionment with Man, I slowly drifted away from God until at some point I decided I wanted nothing more to do with God.

    Having turned my back on God I figured I might as well tap into the powers of the occult again, and very rapidly found more power than I'd seen before. My hostility against the church and against God grew. This time I stopped going to church and many of my Christian friends slowly drifted away. One in particular stayed in contact with me, and has been a good friend through it all.

    The following 15 years contained a lot of on-off involvement with assorted forms of magick, witchcraft, divination and all sorts of other things God specifically told us not to meddle with. During that time I'd frequently think about going back to God but always found reasons not to, and before long was dabbling in magick again. I'd found more and more power through the use of magick which was starting to get dangerous, and many times the only thing that held me back from going in ever-deeper was the price it would demand from me in exchange for the power. More recently I found a specific area in my home town that I used to walk through on my way home from work which started to spook me. If I walked through it after dark I could feel the dark things drawing close to me and offering me more and more power if I would give myself over to be like them, to be one with them. I didn't know exactly what was on offer but it was obviously going to be power beyond my wildest dreams, although I knew it would carry a price tag to match. Even so I knew it was probably only a question of time before I succumbed to the temptation.

    My thinking was becoming increasingly libertarian as I grew to dislike and distrust the increasing levels of control that governments seek to gain over the people. The 10 commandments started to seem like a perfect summary of the ideal law, not too complex, unambiguous, and leaving people free.

    One day in summer of this year, completely by chance, I found a web site with a couple of electronic books about the end times. I read 500 pages in the space of two weekends and it put the fear of God into me. Suddenly I started to think that this was something I should be thinking about. I did some internet research on the author, which led me right here, to BibleForums. After a couple of weeks of lurking I started to post, exploring whether it was likely that God would have me back at all, and trying to figure out why I felt God was calling me to do something specific, even though I was far away from him.

    When I decided, based on the (very good) advice dljc had given me, to get rid of my occult books even if only to clear my head so I could hear God speaking, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from me. I could actually hear God speaking to me, telling me that he had sent his son to die for me so would have me back. Suddenly the Bible started to make sense, and having seriously considered burning it in the past I found myself wanting to understand it. The Christian music I'd left to gather dust suddenly started speaking to me, as if each individual song was written just for me despite being created 15-20 years previously. Even before I had decided to come back to God I found myself just knowing that all my fears were wasted, that God would protect me until my work was finished. It was truly like flicking a switch in my mind, a turn-on-a-dime situation.

    I still hesitated, afraid of just what God would require from me in terms of personal sacrifice, but everything inside me just knew that coming back had to be done. I had been convicted by the Holy Spirit in a way that had left me bawling like a baby for my sins, everything inside me just knew the Bible was truth, I had seen angels victorious over demons and felt the power of God calling me back into the fold. So I renounced everything I had ever done with the occult, confessed and renounced my sins, and resolved to follow Jesus no matter what.
    24 August 2013 - I've decided to take a break from a number of internet forums, including this one, for my own reasons.
    I expect to be back at some time in the future, although at present don't know when that will be.
    I've been here just a few days shy of six years, and those six years have been greatly blessed.

    ---

    1Jn 4:1 NKJV Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
    1Th 5:21-22 NKJV Test all things; hold fast what is good. (22) Abstain from every form of evil.




  • #2
    wow!

    thanks for sharing. your thread title brings to mind my favorite bible verse (see sig), btw.

    I have no doubt the Lord has big plans in store for you. God Bless!~
    "Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you..."
    Acts 26:16

    "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up..."
    daniel 3

    http://jason-beth-babynickel.blogspot.com/

    Comment


    • #3
      I love reading testimony..it lifts me up

      God Bless

      Comment


      • #4
        Tango,

        Wow, what testimony brother! I didn't get to read it until now and praise the Lord for what He has done for you. God bless you and Phroggie
        Last edited by Kingsdaughter; Nov 29th 2007, 07:21 PM. Reason: Thats Phroggie not phoggie

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        • #5
          thanks for posting your testimony Tango.

          mark
          Jer 6:16a
          Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.

          I've started a blog
          http://exwitch.ancientcrossroads.org

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you tango. You thread made me think of an old female friend who went to a 'church' of sorts. It claimed to be christian but included all sorts of unbiblical things and other faiths. Sometimes the line of true faith is not clear till we find christian friends and hold everything against what the word of God says. It's great to have met you and call you one of the 'family of God.'
            1 Corinthians 1:12-13 Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos: and I of Cephas; and I of Christ.

            Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptised in the name of Paul?

            KJV

            May the power of the Spirit of our God unite us. SofTy.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you for sharing your testimony Tango, what a blessing to read and I'm so thankful that the Lord has truly taken you out of the darkness, and brought you into the light!

              My prayer for you is along the lines of this prayer for the Colossians:
              Col 1:9-14
              For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you {Tango} may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you {Tango} may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
              Love In Christ,
              Tanya






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              • #8
                hey bud, just read this. pretty hectic man. quite the life adventure. the closest i came to the occult was reading a book called 'lords of chaos' about the blackmetal scene in the early 90's in Norway. it had stories about band mates killing people, and how they hated christianity and such. that was a dark time for me, though i knew deep down it was a wrong way to think (the satanic bible).

                this site also helped me to 'come back' to the faith. props man. take it easy eh.

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                • #9
                  Pretty crazy story! can I ask what kind of powers you had? I'm not that familiar with the occult and the power it gives you. Could you like move stuff with your mind???

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I had powers to do a lot of damage, to others as well as myself.

                    If you're not familiar with the occult that's all you need to know about it. Seriously, don't go there unless you have a very clear calling that God wants you ministering to those bound up in it.

                    Focus on giving glory to Jesus, not fussing over just how much power the devil may have.
                    24 August 2013 - I've decided to take a break from a number of internet forums, including this one, for my own reasons.
                    I expect to be back at some time in the future, although at present don't know when that will be.
                    I've been here just a few days shy of six years, and those six years have been greatly blessed.

                    ---

                    1Jn 4:1 NKJV Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
                    1Th 5:21-22 NKJV Test all things; hold fast what is good. (22) Abstain from every form of evil.



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      OK I understand if you don't want ot talk about it, but in your testimony you kinda mentioned some supernatural powers and I just wanted to hear what we are up against

                      If you don't wanna answer, you don't have to, but when you say you had the power to to damage to people are you saying that you knew stuff about people and could ruin their life by letting it out or are you talking full on supernatural powers?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What a great testimony! I enjoyed reading it and was inspired by it.

                        I have a similar story to tell about my encounter with the occult and how the Devil tried to lure me in. As usual, he was oh-so-clever in his methodology. A few years I fell in love with a woman I met online. We were so in love, I travelled out to Ottawa to meet her. We cohabited for a couple of weeks, had lots of sex.

                        This person was a lifelong Wiccan, a modern-day witch. She had many chronic health-problems not the least of which was morbid obesity. Her 8 year old daughter was the product of a sham-marriage T. had had with a man who later confessed to gender identity crisis and surgically became a woman. And this "woman" still lived with T. and the little girl, E.

                        I wanted to convert from my then-faith of Buddhism to Wicca so that we could elope w/o complication. We had our futures planned out. We were dizzy in love, and that seemed to be the most important thing. The obstacles we faced were absurdly difficult, impossible. But we tried to make it work anyway.

                        Eventually I came to my senses and severed all contact with this person. T. alluded to having enemies in magickal circles, people who wanted to harm her. I feared for my physical safety but also for my soul. I knew with utmost certainty that I couldn't expose myself to occultic forces no matter what. I told T. about my reversion to Christianity and that I didn't trust the dubious occult forces with which she had been surrounded all her life.

                        And there but for the grace of God go I ...
                        "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens thedoor, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me ..."

                        Revelation 3:20

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Lordistruth View Post
                          OK I understand if you don't want ot talk about it, but in your testimony you kinda mentioned some supernatural powers and I just wanted to hear what we are up against

                          If you don't wanna answer, you don't have to, but when you say you had the power to to damage to people are you saying that you knew stuff about people and could ruin their life by letting it out or are you talking full on supernatural powers?
                          I'm talking about supernatural power. The forces of darkness mimic the things God does to the best of their ability and can cause a lot of damage.

                          When they come up against the power of Christ they crumble, but they don't like to admit it until they have to.
                          24 August 2013 - I've decided to take a break from a number of internet forums, including this one, for my own reasons.
                          I expect to be back at some time in the future, although at present don't know when that will be.
                          I've been here just a few days shy of six years, and those six years have been greatly blessed.

                          ---

                          1Jn 4:1 NKJV Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
                          1Th 5:21-22 NKJV Test all things; hold fast what is good. (22) Abstain from every form of evil.



                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by tango View Post
                            I'm talking about supernatural power. The forces of darkness mimic the things God does to the best of their ability and can cause a lot of damage.

                            When they come up against the power of Christ they crumble, but they don't like to admit it until they have to.
                            So you were able to move things with your mind? Stuff like that. The closest that I can think is kinda lke the Dark Side of the Force from Starwars with things like electricity

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks for the testimony, Tango. It took me a while to get on track as well. I never got into drugs, beer, etc the whole "college" scene, but I really didn't try very hard to develop a relationship with Him until some major events woke me up! I'm glad to see that you got away from the occult.

                              *hugs* and God bless
                              We serve God by serving others. The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept.” Rick Warren
                              [sigpic

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