Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Looking for an answer..

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Looking for an answer..

    Really looking for some sort of advice. I am currently, sorta in a relationship if that makes sense. I have been with this one girl Christina for a decently long time, 3 and half years to be exact. I am 20 years old and we were high school sweethearts who got caught up in love or lust (w/e you want to call it) and we kinda had an immoral relationship cuz we didnt wait til marriage. Other than that though we were amazing together and loved every moment with her. But this past year things went down hill big time and she started pulling away from me a lot and talked to me a lot less. She even went behind my back and drank, smoked, and got a tattoo without me knowing. It hurt and it felt like my sins were catching up to me. But that was just kinda a phase she went through and she kinda came out of. But me and her are still rocky and sometimes she tells me she misses and loves me, other times its almost like she doesnt care. She's going through a lot and has been really down for a long while and tells me it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes I feel like God is testing me to see what i should do. Should I stay and fight or turn and flee. Sometimes it feels like she wants nothing to do with me and other times its like shes crying out for help. Its so confusing. But i can honestly say i love her so much and i know she loves me. The spark seems to be dimmer though and what she did still kinda hurts. Is God tryin to push me away from her or just seeing how much I can take and how much i can forgive someone? I'm at a loss. I pray about it but I just dont feel any answers coming.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Jeffinator View Post
    Really looking for some sort of advice. I am currently, sorta in a relationship if that makes sense. I have been with this one girl Christina for a decently long time, 3 and half years to be exact. I am 20 years old and we were high school sweethearts who got caught up in love or lust (w/e you want to call it) and we kinda had an immoral relationship cuz we didnt wait til marriage. Other than that though we were amazing together and loved every moment with her. But this past year things went down hill big time and she started pulling away from me a lot and talked to me a lot less. She even went behind my back and drank, smoked, and got a tattoo without me knowing. It hurt and it felt like my sins were catching up to me. But that was just kinda a phase she went through and she kinda came out of. But me and her are still rocky and sometimes she tells me she misses and loves me, other times its almost like she doesnt care. She's going through a lot and has been really down for a long while and tells me it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes I feel like God is testing me to see what i should do. Should I stay and fight or turn and flee. Sometimes it feels like she wants nothing to do with me and other times its like shes crying out for help. Its so confusing. But i can honestly say i love her so much and i know she loves me. The spark seems to be dimmer though and what she did still kinda hurts. Is God tryin to push me away from her or just seeing how much I can take and how much i can forgive someone? I'm at a loss. I pray about it but I just dont feel any answers coming.
    You love her? Is she worth it?

    Comment


    • #3
      Here lies two choices:

      1. according to the biblical standpoint the two of you are now one in body, during the old testament you would have to marry her, or technically youwould already be married after having sex. We as americans no longer live by this, although I feel that we should.

      2. She is causing you to stumble, and you do not need that to stop you from growing in a relationship with the Lord.

      the choice is yours, choose wisely.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
        Here lies two choices:

        1. according to the biblical standpoint the two of you are now one in body, during the old testament you would have to marry her, or technically youwould already be married after having sex. We as americans no longer live by this, although I feel that we should.

        2. She is causing you to stumble, and you do not need that to stop you from growing in a relationship with the Lord.

        the choice is yours, choose wisely.
        Sex does not equate with marriage; it never did.

        Comment


        • #5
          It did for the first 4,000 years, look up the old hebrew way

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
            It did for the first 4,000 years, look up the old hebrew way
            Scripture please... With an argument attached.

            Comment


            • #7
              Exodus 22:16

              "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.

              Genesis 2:24

              For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

              Marriage (kiddushin and nissu'in)

              In Jewish law, marriage consists of two separate acts, called kiddushin (or erusin, the engagement ceremony) and nissu'in, the actual wedding. Kiddushin changes the couple's personal status, while nissu'in brings about the legal consequences of the change of status. In Talmudic times, these two ceremonies usually took place about a year apart. The bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony, which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Later in history, the two ceremonies took place as a combined ceremony, and the marriage ceremony started to be performed publicly.

              There are three ways for a Jewish couple to effect kiddushin (Mishna, Tractate Kiddushin 1:1):

              * With money (kesef) or with an object of value, such as a ring or a coin, for the purpose of contracted marriage, and in the presence of two witnesses, and she actively accepts;
              * Through a contract (shtar) in the presence of two witnesses, containing the declaration of kiddushin (see below); or
              * By sexual intercourse with the intention of creating a bond of marriage; a method strongly discouraged by the rabbinic sages and intended only for levirate marriages.

              Need I say more?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
                Exodus 22:16

                "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.
                Does not equate sex with marriage.

                Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
                Genesis 2:24

                For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

                Marriage (kiddushin and nissu'in)
                Does not equate sex with marriage.

                Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
                In Jewish law, marriage consists of two separate acts, called kiddushin (or erusin, the engagement ceremony) and nissu'in, the actual wedding. Kiddushin changes the couple's personal status, while nissu'in brings about the legal consequences of the change of status. In Talmudic times, these two ceremonies usually took place about a year apart. The bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony, which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Later in history, the two ceremonies took place as a combined ceremony, and the marriage ceremony started to be performed publicly.

                There are three ways for a Jewish couple to effect kiddushin (Mishna, Tractate Kiddushin 1:1):

                * With money (kesef) or with an object of value, such as a ring or a coin, for the purpose of contracted marriage, and in the presence of two witnesses, and she actively accepts;
                * Through a contract (shtar) in the presence of two witnesses, containing the declaration of kiddushin (see below); or
                * By sexual intercourse with the intention of creating a bond of marriage; a method strongly discouraged by the rabbinic sages and intended only for levirate marriages.

                Need I say more?
                Sure... Waiting for a scriptural argument equating sex with marriage; not social customs with sex with marriage.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Jeffinator View Post
                  Really looking for some sort of advice. I am currently, sorta in a relationship if that makes sense. I have been with this one girl Christina for a decently long time, 3 and half years to be exact. I am 20 years old and we were high school sweethearts who got caught up in love or lust (w/e you want to call it) and we kinda had an immoral relationship cuz we didnt wait til marriage. Other than that though we were amazing together and loved every moment with her. But this past year things went down hill big time and she started pulling away from me a lot and talked to me a lot less. She even went behind my back and drank, smoked, and got a tattoo without me knowing. It hurt and it felt like my sins were catching up to me. But that was just kinda a phase she went through and she kinda came out of. But me and her are still rocky and sometimes she tells me she misses and loves me, other times its almost like she doesnt care. She's going through a lot and has been really down for a long while and tells me it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes I feel like God is testing me to see what i should do. Should I stay and fight or turn and flee. Sometimes it feels like she wants nothing to do with me and other times its like shes crying out for help. Its so confusing. But i can honestly say i love her so much and i know she loves me. The spark seems to be dimmer though and what she did still kinda hurts. Is God tryin to push me away from her or just seeing how much I can take and how much i can forgive someone? I'm at a loss. I pray about it but I just dont feel any answers coming.
                  Jeffinator, Jeffmyster, Jeff-o-rama........ Sorry. I just like your screen name.

                  It seems like you have grown in your thoughts over the years regarding the way you want your relationships to move forward. That's a good thing. She seems to be moving in a direction with her life that you can't support. Am I wrong?

                  I think you should flee. Sound cold? She has some big issues that you can't help her with. You can't change her.

                  The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Followtheway View Post
                    Exodus 22:16"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.
                    The whole verse equates sex and marriage. If someone sleeps with a virgin, he has to get married. This obviously meant by "bride-price" and "she shall be his wife". I don't know how it can be any clearer, it seems like you just are not willing to accept the truth.

                    Pax,
                    Zach
                    Matthew 6:34
                    "34 So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by catholicdude View Post
                      The whole verse equates sex and marriage. If someone sleeps with a virgin, he has to get married. This obviously meant by "bride-price" and "she shall be his wife". I don't know how it can be any clearer, it seems like you just are not willing to accept the truth.

                      Pax,
                      Zach



                      I don't think this is the OP question.

                      The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Scubadude View Post



                        I don't think this is the OP question.
                        I was just going with the flow of the thread, Jeffinator must have gotten what he was looking for seeing as he hasn't come back.

                        Pax,
                        Zach
                        Matthew 6:34
                        "34 So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by catholicdude View Post
                          The whole verse equates sex and marriage. If someone sleeps with a virgin, he has to get married. This obviously meant by "bride-price" and "she shall be his wife". I don't know how it can be any clearer, it seems like you just are not willing to accept the truth.

                          Pax,
                          Zach
                          You don't understand the culture this verse speaks to. The man must marry the woman because otherwise she'd be treated worse than a dog, no longer being a virgin (hence worthless, undesireable). This wasn't because they were married because of sex.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Xel'Naga View Post
                            You don't understand the culture this verse speaks to. The man must marry the woman because otherwise she'd be treated worse than a dog, no longer being a virgin (hence worthless, undesireable). This wasn't because they were married because of sex.
                            This seems to be the sequence of events:

                            1) Man and woman have sex
                            2) Women gets treated horribly
                            3) Man and woman get married because of the horrible treatment

                            Nowadays we cut out the middle man (number 2) because our culture doesn't care if their women are not virgins. While I don't think that people are "married" (according to law) if they have sex, I do hold that they've become "one flesh" and are spiritually married.

                            Pax,
                            Zach
                            Matthew 6:34
                            "34 So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by catholicdude View Post
                              This seems to be the sequence of events:

                              1) Man and woman have sex
                              2) Women gets treated horribly
                              3) Man and woman get married because of the horrible treatment

                              Nowadays we cut out the middle man (number 2) because our culture doesn't care if their women are not virgins. While I don't think that people are "married" (according to law) if they have sex, I do hold that they've become "one flesh" and are spiritually married.
                              No, they aren't spiritually married and they aren't physically married and before someone proposes it, they don't have a "soul tie". They are commanded to marry because of culture, not because they became "one flesh".

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X