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Is Shyness Unchristian?

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  • #16
    Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

    I was so shy as a child, overly shy and timid, if someone just looked at me, I would start crying. My parents felt so bad for me because they couldn't go anywhere with me ,I would be attached to their leg wherever we went. That "shyness" evolved into insecurity as I grew older and into me teenage years. God has done a miraculous work in me, when I look back I see that my shyness was from fear. I was afraid of being judged, afraid of being rejected, afraid of not fitting in, afraid of being teased, afraid of failure, afraid afraid afraid! and that is not christian in any way. God tells us to fear not because He is with us. He tells us not to compare ourselves with others because He loves us and we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

    When the bible talks about a quiet spirit, that means we are confident and the "quietness" is controlled power. Those who are quick to hear and slow to speak, those who have that quiet spirit are confident in who they are in Christ, they know when to speak and when to be quiet.

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    • #17
      Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

      Originally posted by Youssarian View Post
      When this thread was made three years ago, I described myself as shy. Nowadays I wouldn't consider myself shy, just quiet. I don't speak unless I have something to say.

      Do I feel it stops me from doing what God wants me to do? While as my other thread indicates that sometimes I do wonder about it, overall I don't think so.
      I love the fact that you realized that all these year later because I was going to reply somethings similar about that lol. Didn't see date of post.

      And shyness and introversion are two very distinct things. And just because you're not a big talker does not mean you are shy lol.

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      • #18
        Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

        I'm also experiencing this before everytime our leader ask me to lead a prayer in front of our community. Until one time in our service, our elder as she noticed this problem not only in me but in most youth, she told us that this is only a strategy of the enemy for us not to testify or do what God's want for us. After a realization, i'm not feel shyness anymore when doing God's will like saying a testimony in front of others as well as praying. But still i'm shy when it comes to work or other things outside God's activities.

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        • #19
          Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

          Originally posted by Youssarian View Post
          I'm a shy person, I won't deny it. When people say "Hello" and "How are you", I'd much rather not answer, because it's senseless, meaningless small talk. I'm also not one to say those kinds of things to people as I see them throughout the day, even to family, coworkers and sometimes friends.

          Jesus, it seems to me, was very much an extrovert, a people-person. And ironically, I'm very much into apologetics and evangelism - which requires some degree of outwardness.

          So, is does it hurt my witness and is it unchristian to be shy? I'd like to think that I can have a quiet disposition and still be a good example for Christ, even if I'm not exactly the chattiest individual. Granted, if the other person speaks first and gives me something meaningful to work off of, like "What do you want to do in college?" and not that fluff that society loves to give off, I'm much more open. And I'm generally a kind person. Is my situation here acceptable or no?

          I stuggl(ed) with this same issue very much too. one thing that helped me is my pastor gave me a book called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking". It talks about being shy and introverted. It talks about the advantages that quiet people have and ways that we can contribute to society. It even directly references the issues some quiet people might have in church. I dont know if the author is christian, but as i said my pastor gave it to me so it doesn't have any bad language or heretical ideas or anything. I'm terrible at explaining this but you should check it out. I might even be able to get you a digital copy because my pastor has a bunch of hard-copies that he gives out. Maybe he has a digital one.

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          • #20
            Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

            Sometimes it can appear as shyness, but it's not shyness. My son is high functioning autistic, it is not his nature to have an extrovert character still most think he is shy, so I think we need to consider the root cause of what we call "shyness" before we attach "sin" to a person's personality.
            Those who seek God with all their heart will find Him and be given sight. Those who seek their own agenda will remain blind.

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            • #21
              Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

              Paul was naturally shy.
              Some people are offended that the Sovereign God, because He loved man so much and wanted to be in an intimate relationship with his creation, gave Man a free will to respond to God's grace, offered to all. They are offended that God is God as God chooses to be, not as they choose for God to be.

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              • #22
                Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

                No. There's great prophets in the bible that were shy of speaking to people. It says of Jeremiah that he was afraid of certain people which I consider to be shy. (Jeremiah 1:8) God still used them and helped them to cultivate the ability to talk to people.

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                • #23
                  Re: Is Shyness Unchristian?

                  Anyone who tells me that being shy is unChristian like, then my response will be 'Well, I guess I've been very unChristian like for eight years since deciding to follow Christ'. Being shy or quiet is not a bad thing. It is a personality type. Some people, such as myself, aren't out going; when they are out somewhere they just want to mind their own business because we're just too shy to interact with anyone, or we just typically don't want to be bothered. In some cases I am like this. I was going to a youth group where EVERYONE was outgoing. I was the quiet one sitting by myself waiting for the sermon to start. But I go to church to learn about God, not to walk around the room doing 'rounds' with friends and talk. But because I was the shy one, it was 'abnormal' of me and I had a lot of difficulties with these people.

                  You are who you are. Being shy isn't acting as unChristian-like. Yes, you can make the decision to be a bit more outgoing, which is extremely difficult even for me. But I don't see how we are being un-Christian like. Wouldn't it be more un-Christian like to judge someone based on their shyness just how I was? If you really are afraid of it being un-Christ like, I say go to the One who made you and pray about it.

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