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  • Cuddling

    There's nothing wrong w/ it right? People say it leads to other things, but what if it really is just cuddling? Is it okay? I feel like it is...if you actually like the person and you aren't leading them on.

  • #2
    Originally posted by steffie23 View Post
    There's nothing wrong w/ it right? People say it leads to other things, but what if it really is just cuddling? Is it okay? I feel like it is...if you actually like the person and you aren't leading them on.

    I see lots of young people "cuddling" in many different places - stores, malls, theaters, restaurants, etc. And what they are telling you is true - cuddling can easily lead to other things. When we were teenagers, (in the ancient 60's) we weren't exposed to so much sexual activity on TV or in movies. Now, it's everywhere and kids are much more mature at earlier ages. Cuddling so easily leads to much more intense feelings and emotion. I don't know how old you are, but be very cautious - you might give the other person the wrong idea - the "green light" so to speak, which can lead to another problem.

    Be very careful of your behavior, how it presents you to the other person, and how it makes you feel at the time.

    Keep looking up.
    God Bless.
    "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High." Psalm 9:2

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    • #3
      From personal (and I would say wise) experience, cuddling will lead to other things, either today, tomorrow, or the day after.

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      • #4
        hugging is fine, just don't prolong it.
        "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
        -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

        "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

        Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

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        • #5
          Pay no attention to the Puritans. Cuddling is a good thing. What is not good, however, is this irrational fear concerning physical contact.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Coptichristian View Post
            Pay no attention to the Puritans. Cuddling is a good thing. What is not good, however, is this irrational fear concerning physical contact.
            AMEN!

            Cuddling is one of those great forms of physical intimacy couples share that can be shared ANYWHERE, home, the mall, the movies, eating dinner, etc etc.

            ENJOY IT!
            It's a great way to feel romantic without shelling out $$, you won't get arrested for public indecency, and it's FUN!
            Always give God credit first.

            "Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?"
            -Sir Toby, Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

            James 1:19

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            • #7
              Originally posted by graceforme View Post
              I don't know how old you are...
              I am a freshman in college, so it's not like I don't get it, lol...I get it. I have just lead a pretty sheltered life, haha.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Coptichristian View Post
                Pay no attention to the Puritans. Cuddling is a good thing. What is not good, however, is this irrational fear concerning physical contact.
                Hey... the Puritans were a godly people, it's trashy liberals that have no idea what giving ones life for Christ is all about (because they probably arent truly Christian). When the hottest topic in todays church is sex we should be treating the whole genre very seriously and not flippantly throw off the topic of pre-marital physical contact as 'irrational'. It is incredibly rational and important to discuss and achieve truth on the issue, bearing close in mind that this situation is one in millions happening globally (many people of whom have access to this thread). From my perspective, 99% of all men struggle with sexual sin in some form or other and eliminating temptation for them (as for women) is an important part of showing respect to both, the man showing respect for the woman in keeping her pure for marriage, and the woman respecting the man and his desire for her.

                Cuddling is a beautiful part of relationship but there is a line that we all know is there (especially after we have crossed it) and it would be an evidential lack of respect for the other party (your gf/bf) and for the desire of God to wilfully go past that line. In fact, that is pretty much the definition of sin: "i know better than God, i am my own master."
                "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
                -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

                "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

                Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Revinius View Post
                  Hey... the Puritans were a godly people, it's trashy liberals that have no idea what giving ones life for Christ is all about (because they probably arent truly Christian). When the hottest topic in todays church is sex we should be treating the whole genre very seriously and not flippantly throw off the topic of pre-marital physical contact as 'irrational'. It is incredibly rational and important to discuss and achieve truth on the issue, bearing close in mind that this situation is one in millions happening globally (many people of whom have access to this thread). From my perspective, 99% of all men struggle with sexual sin in some form or other and eliminating temptation for them (as for women) is an important part of showing respect to both, the man showing respect for the woman in keeping her pure for marriage, and the woman respecting the man and his desire for her.

                  Cuddling is a beautiful part of relationship but there is a line that we all know is there (especially after we have crossed it) and it would be an evidential lack of respect for the other party (your gf/bf) and for the desire of God to wilfully go past that line. In fact, that is pretty much the definition of sin: "i know better than God, i am my own master."

                  Well said! It has nothing to do with being Puritan. It only has to do with good common sense. This generation of young people are so tuned in and turned on to sex at an early age, in many cases, they are ready to go any time and experience what TV and movies describes as being so great. And it is - IN THE PROPER PLACE OF MARRIAGE AND COMMITTMENT. Being so close physically can and will lead to even more intimate contact. It's just a question of time. My advice to steffie is to back off and eliminate any prolonged physical contact before it's too late.

                  God Bless.
                  "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High." Psalm 9:2

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by revinius
                    Hey... the Puritans were a godly people....
                    Godly? Burning people at the stake considered godly? Persecuting people with different beliefs is godly? Hmmm.

                    ,
                    it's trashy liberals that have no idea what giving ones life for Christ is all about (because they probably arent truly Christian).
                    Like Jerry Falwell and Ted Haggart?

                    When the hottest topic in todays church is sex we should be treating the whole genre very seriously...
                    Agreed.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by graceforme View Post
                      Being so close physically can and will lead to even more intimate contact. It's just a question of time. My advice to steffie is to back off and eliminate any prolonged physical contact before it's too late.
                      This is what I hate. Generalizations. All people are not the same and some will cuddle all day long and not go any farther til marriage. So to say that if you cuddle you will fall into more intimate contact before marriage is just wrong in my opinion. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm with Buzzword on this one.
                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by BrckBrln View Post
                        This is what I hate. Generalizations. All people are not the same and some will cuddle all day long and not go any farther til marriage. So to say that if you cuddle you will fall into more intimate contact before marriage is just wrong in my opinion. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm with Buzzword on this one.

                        That's your opinion and you're certainly entitled to it. I stand firm on my advice - one thing leads to another and these kids need to be careful.

                        Many blessings to you.
                        "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High." Psalm 9:2

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think it depends what the level of cuddling is. Sitting next to each other on the couch with an arm on each other's backs? Not so bad, but could be. Sitting on laps, or a girl's head on a guy's chest, or rubbing backs while this close, a hand on a knee- all of these things are dangerous territory.

                          Lust is wrong. Does doing this things cause sexual arousal, even in the littlest bit? Does it cause you to want more, to be closer? Does it cause EITHER of you to lust?

                          If it does, then it's wrong. Sin is not excusable.

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                          • #14
                            Here's something I'd add in. People who are tempted to go further when they're cuddling are PROBABLY at the beginning of a relationship, or not too far into one, when EVERYTHING is kicked into high gear and you're constantly aware of the other person and they're all you can think about. If you'd be tempted to go further.... then THAT'S the time. When you've been in a relationship for a while, chances are.... cuddling really can just stay cuddling. Everyone's different and it might pose a real challenge to some people. But in my own experience, I honestly can sit on a couch and cuddle with my boyfriend and we'll be talking about this, that and the other and that's ALL that happens.... and that's four years in. It's just where we are, though. We're not at the "infatuation" stage, we're at the "I'm really just sitting here, gabbing and reading a book, enjoying your company" stage. It works for us. I have no problem with cuddling. In fact, I love it. Neither of us are tempted by it, but that's just us. He's my best friend, I love him, and I'm thankful cuddling DOESN'T tempt us that way.

                            Everyone knows their own line, and when they'll get too close to crossing it. I can't tell you what that is for you; I can only tell you to be careful. Now, from the way the OP is worded, that doesn't sound so much like a dating relationship to me... and definitely not a long term one being described. The word "like" rather than "love" was used, and the worry was present about making sure they knew they weren't getting "led on" (in a longer relationship, I figure both people would take it for granted they weren't getting led on). That's the thing I'm a TAD wary of, if I'm reading that correctly. I don't think we need to be, or should be, sitting and cuddling with people we merely "like". Maybe the OP actually meant a boyfriend/girlfriend scenerio; in that case, my apologies. But I'd encourage anyone who is younger to know their own boundaries, and to show affection only in a relationship you've been in for more than a little while. Don't just "like" the person. Get to the point where you know you love them before you bother settling in and cuddling and getting all close. I think it makes things much less messy..... and it makes cuddling WITH someone you LOVE that much more enjoyable.
                            -- Your ~sister~ in Christ.... a "Kaffinated Kittykat"!!

                            ROMANS 5:8. Forgiven. Freed. Humbled. Amazed. Grateful. Relying on Christ.

                            Love is not a place to come and go as we please
                            It's a house we enter in, then commit to never leave
                            So lock the door behind you, and throw away the key
                            We'll work it out together, let it bring us to our knees.....
                            Warren Barfield



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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Coptichristian View Post
                              Godly? Burning people at the stake considered godly? Persecuting people with different beliefs is godly? Hmmm.
                              Have you read the OT? God is very serious about how we treat all sin and the inadequacies of a group of people (the puritans) that acknowledged that and raised up laws regarding it is not evidence of their lack of godliness. Anyway, this isnt a thread on the puritans, if you want to talk on it further you are welcome to start another thread.

                              Originally posted by Coptichristian
                              Like Jerry Falwell and Ted Haggart?
                              I don't know these guys...
                              "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
                              -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

                              "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

                              Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

                              Comment

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