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  • What is this?

    Hey everyone,

    I'm nineteen at the moment and I have been a high school gradute for about a year and a half now.

    In high-school there was this boy that I liked. He asked me out & I always rejected because I was so afraid and did not know how to handle it. Finally my senior year, I told him, but he was dating his this other girl. During that time, we had arguments and that was that. We stopped talking in November of 2007.

    Three weeks ago, this guy found me on myspace. We talked on there for like an hour. I gave him my number and he didn't call for all of those three weeks until last night. He called me and we talked for three hours. He told me about his relationships and his beliefs and such. He said he hadn't talked to someone on the phone this long for about a year.

    I really liked this guy and by him calling me, it kind of brings me back to wanting to possibly be with him. It hurts because I don't know how to take this. I didn't ask him if he wanted to be with me or anything. He just finished college and said he didn't want to be in another relationship until he has a good job and is settled.

    I pray everynight that God will send me the man I will marry when the time is right. I don't know what this is though. I don't know if this guy is just being random calling me or if God has laid it on his heart to speak to me. I don't know how any of this is going to unfold. I just am so afraid that he may not want to be with me and that I may never find love.

    Any advice? Words or hope, encouragment?
    thank you!

  • #2
    If you want to pursue it... Pursue it. Pray about it, but I don't see a problem in going after it.

    Comment


    • #3
      I would say not to force or rush things. It's a good sign that he called you and you guys seem to have a good connection, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's "meant to be". I'd say to just be calm, guard your heart, but seek to be his friend. Talk, listen, share, and see where it goes from there. Be honest and don't play games. He's at a place in his life (it seems) that he is thinking about the future, which is a sign of maturity. The best thing for you to do would be to pray, seek after God's will and just be yourself. Try to be content within yourself and your relationship with God first. If you do that, you won't have to look for Mr. Right...God will lead Him to you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Kelly12345 View Post
        Hey everyone,

        I'm nineteen at the moment and I have been a high school gradute for about a year and a half now.

        In high-school there was this boy that I liked. He asked me out & I always rejected because I was so afraid and did not know how to handle it. Finally my senior year, I told him, but he was dating his this other girl. During that time, we had arguments and that was that. We stopped talking in November of 2007.

        Three weeks ago, this guy found me on myspace. We talked on there for like an hour. I gave him my number and he didn't call for all of those three weeks until last night. He called me and we talked for three hours. He told me about his relationships and his beliefs and such. He said he hadn't talked to someone on the phone this long for about a year.

        I really liked this guy and by him calling me, it kind of brings me back to wanting to possibly be with him. It hurts because I don't know how to take this. I didn't ask him if he wanted to be with me or anything. He just finished college and said he didn't want to be in another relationship until he has a good job and is settled.

        I pray everynight that God will send me the man I will marry when the time is right. I don't know what this is though. I don't know if this guy is just being random calling me or if God has laid it on his heart to speak to me. I don't know how any of this is going to unfold. I just am so afraid that he may not want to be with me and that I may never find love.

        Any advice? Words or hope, encouragment?
        thank you!
        Mind telling us about this guys character? Is he a solid Christian guy?
        "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
        -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

        "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

        Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Revinius View Post
          Mind telling us about this guys character? Is he a solid Christian guy?
          He believes in Jesus. He's not the best Christian though.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Kelly12345 View Post
            He believes in Jesus. He's not the best Christian though.
            So, what is your standards of a man? I have always been told the best quality is someone who is on fire for Christ...
            "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
            -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

            "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

            Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

            Comment


            • #7
              I want someone who is kind, honest, caring, sensitive, responsible.
              & believes in Jesus.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Kelly12345 View Post
                I want someone who is kind, honest, caring, sensitive, responsible.
                & believes in Jesus.
                Excuse me for being forward, but i would think the qualities you mentioned (kind, honest, caring, sensitive and responsible) are as a result of the last one you mentioned (following Jesus). I think it's also important to remember when looking for a godly man, to see whether he is actually following Christ. I mean, the Devil believes in Jesus, but he doesnt follow Him, an important distinction between belief and actual faith.

                I am male, but i know that if i was to draw but one quality of desire it would be someone with a heart for God. All the other stuff you mentioned happens because God works in peoples hearts to change them. Would you believe i was convicted of a heinous crime? I was. And now? All i am convicted of is the supremacy of Christ in life, that it is only by and through Him that ANYTHING can happen. Not a finger can pull a trigger nor a leaf fall to ground without His allowing it.

                So thus, how does that apply to dating? Rely on Him, rely on the God that is everything. Rely on a godly man that has Christ in Him, that has a passion for Christs work in the world. That is a real man, that is a man worth marrying.
                "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
                -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

                "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

                Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

                Comment


                • #9
                  Rev is right on here. If there's one thing we need to be searching for in a spouse, it's a true heart for God. I want to be able look to my future wife as a solid support in my faith...Someone I can truly rely on, no matter the circumstance.
                  Jeremy, a bondservant of the Lord.

                  Today is a good day to die for Christ.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I should've asked about his spiritual maturity before I posted. If you can't look at him and see a godly, wise man that you could learn from, then it is not worth your time. He should be a man who can lead you spiritually, that you can follow and respect. If he's not that man, then you're only asking for trouble. You could end up being one of those wives who take their children to church alone on Sundays; spiritually abandoned. Don't set yourself up for heartache. Find a man that loves God more than he loves you, not the other way around.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      He said that he wants to find a church he can get into...he said that in school he started his job and he had to work on Sundays so it got in the way. He drinks and he said he was trying to stop. I told him I was proud and he said "thank you!" and that I was the only one who has said that to him.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I mean, do you think I should just wait it out now and let him come to me? Call me?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          He chose his job over church? Pretty indicative of a guy who has odd priorities... no offence.

                          I think you should wait it out and let him become a Godly man first. Missionary dating generally doesnt work, if you start dating him now the most likely thing that will happen is both of you falling.
                          "Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline"
                          -Flavius Vegetius Renatus

                          "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26

                          Watch This! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA - Christian Artist Lecrae

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            well if you have a job it's a priority.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I say develop a friendship and see what happens from there. Get to know him and his walk. He may not be the "man of your dreams", but he may turn out to be a good friend.

                              You never know...
                              Romans 8:11

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