I grew up without any knowledge about Christianity and the Bible. After I came to US, sometimes there would be people come over and pass the little book with Bible verses in it to me and I just ignore all of them.
Now I am 30 and I started to go to church in the beginning of this year.
I lost my virginity when I was 27. And I have never been in a serious relationship. It doesn't mean I slept around but I did have a few one night stand experience and two friends with benefit experience during the year I lost my virginity. The reason I did this is more of I felt I was too old to keep my virginity. And it seemed somehow impossible for me to get a boyfriend. I didn't even date that much. I had a small circle of life and not out going. Even though everyone says I have a sexy body and I'm good looking and there should be a lot of guys after me waiting to be chosen. That's never the case I guess.
The sex with no emotional connection didn't bring much of pleasure but turned my soul to be empty. I realized that this is not something I would ever want again. And I was determined not to have sex again until I'm married. However, it seemed like satan (maybe it was him) never really wanted me to stay away from it and always made me fell.
I finally became a Christian after all the heartbreak due to failing my promises to myself of being good. But I still have doubts. Because I came across Christians with strong background of faithful family who say they take the Bible seriously and believe the Bible is the word of God and still have sex before marriage, and one night stands. I failed once after I came to Christ when I got drunk and I was totally totally devastated due to the whole situation with the person involved.
I'm so confused and I need help.
Statistics says 80% of young Christian adults are having sex with their partner without marriage. What does this really reflect people's faith? People have affairs outside of their Christian marriage. What does this really reflect their faith? It's heartbreaking for me to see people I love who say they have faith in God but still live their own way. Of course I have met young couples long before I became Christian who told me that they are determined not to have sex before marriage. They are their first love and first kiss of each other and they are waiting for the marriage for sex to happen. That time I was really impressed with their determination although I didn't know why they have such determination. I just thought they were old-fashioned, because I knew nothing about Christianity that time. But now the more I see, the more I'm confused.
I'm trying to walk with God and be faithful, and tried to talk to God every night. But I really don't know if He hears me or not. I just started my journey and I feel I'm falling behind. Though intellectually I could convince myself that God is there and I should trust him. But emotionally, I don't feel the connection. And because all the doubts that were caused by other Christians I just don't know what to do now.
I know none of us are perfect, and we all sin. I should not judge others because I myself is full of sin as well. But I just couldn't stop questioning.
Can anybody help me to answer some questions?
Now I am 30 and I started to go to church in the beginning of this year.
I lost my virginity when I was 27. And I have never been in a serious relationship. It doesn't mean I slept around but I did have a few one night stand experience and two friends with benefit experience during the year I lost my virginity. The reason I did this is more of I felt I was too old to keep my virginity. And it seemed somehow impossible for me to get a boyfriend. I didn't even date that much. I had a small circle of life and not out going. Even though everyone says I have a sexy body and I'm good looking and there should be a lot of guys after me waiting to be chosen. That's never the case I guess.
The sex with no emotional connection didn't bring much of pleasure but turned my soul to be empty. I realized that this is not something I would ever want again. And I was determined not to have sex again until I'm married. However, it seemed like satan (maybe it was him) never really wanted me to stay away from it and always made me fell.
I finally became a Christian after all the heartbreak due to failing my promises to myself of being good. But I still have doubts. Because I came across Christians with strong background of faithful family who say they take the Bible seriously and believe the Bible is the word of God and still have sex before marriage, and one night stands. I failed once after I came to Christ when I got drunk and I was totally totally devastated due to the whole situation with the person involved.
I'm so confused and I need help.
Statistics says 80% of young Christian adults are having sex with their partner without marriage. What does this really reflect people's faith? People have affairs outside of their Christian marriage. What does this really reflect their faith? It's heartbreaking for me to see people I love who say they have faith in God but still live their own way. Of course I have met young couples long before I became Christian who told me that they are determined not to have sex before marriage. They are their first love and first kiss of each other and they are waiting for the marriage for sex to happen. That time I was really impressed with their determination although I didn't know why they have such determination. I just thought they were old-fashioned, because I knew nothing about Christianity that time. But now the more I see, the more I'm confused.
I'm trying to walk with God and be faithful, and tried to talk to God every night. But I really don't know if He hears me or not. I just started my journey and I feel I'm falling behind. Though intellectually I could convince myself that God is there and I should trust him. But emotionally, I don't feel the connection. And because all the doubts that were caused by other Christians I just don't know what to do now.
I know none of us are perfect, and we all sin. I should not judge others because I myself is full of sin as well. But I just couldn't stop questioning.
Can anybody help me to answer some questions?
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