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  • HELP!

    hi guys. There was this girl that i met at a mission trip and i kinda fancy her. But i think she has a boyfriend. And also i dont think that im in the right season to be with a girl cause i just moved into a new season of seeking God and de-cluttering my life. Although it felt im having the same reaction i had last year aft a friendship turned bad with another girl. i listened to a lot of alt rock during that period and became withdrawn and was really sad about it. im not sure is it a reflex action of my body to want to turn back to alt rock and being withdrawn aft what happened last year and im fighting the urges to. it was so hard to leave that memory behind and i feel as if its round 2.

    So my questions are:

    1. What is it to seek god and de-clutter my life?
    2. What can i do to draw myself away from the urges to go back to alt rock, emo.
    3. What can i do to fight the urges to talk to her?
    4. Should i keep my distance away from her?

  • #2
    Re: HELP!

    Originally posted by Malcolm Tan View Post
    hi guys. There was this girl that i met at a mission trip and i kinda fancy her. But i think she has a boyfriend. And also i dont think that im in the right season to be with a girl cause i just moved into a new season of seeking God and de-cluttering my life. Although it felt im having the same reaction i had last year aft a friendship turned bad with another girl. i listened to a lot of alt rock during that period and became withdrawn and was really sad about it. im not sure is it a reflex action of my body to want to turn back to alt rock and being withdrawn aft what happened last year and im fighting the urges to. it was so hard to leave that memory behind and i feel as if its round 2.

    So my questions are:

    1. What is it to seek god and de-clutter my life?
    2. What can i do to draw myself away from the urges to go back to alt rock, emo.
    3. What can i do to fight the urges to talk to her?
    4. Should i keep my distance away from her?
    1. To seek His face, as the Bible says. The have a personal relationship with Him. He wants you happy in life. De-clutter your life of bad things. That can possible take care of itself, when you put more time on your "being one together" with God.

    2. Doing answer 1 and seeking to attend a church that will help guide you, as well.

    3. Answers 1 and 2. Hobbies too will help.

    4. If you think that's what is needed, then pray to God about that.


    Hope this helps.
    Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.Matt 5:6

    I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. John 13:15

    Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
    And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
    Matt 25:46

    For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith,
    and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
    1 Tim 6:10

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: HELP!

      Originally posted by Protective Angel View Post
      1. To seek His face, as the Bible says. The have a personal relationship with Him. He wants you happy in life. De-clutter your life of bad things. That can possible take care of itself, when you put more time on your "being one together" with God.

      2. Doing answer 1 and seeking to attend a church that will help guide you, as well.

      3. Answers 1 and 2. Hobbies too will help.

      4. If you think that's what is needed, then pray to God about that.


      Hope this helps.
      i grew up in a church so yeahh. but thanks a lot!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: HELP!

        other replies are welcome with verses would be also good then i can meditate on it!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: HELP!

          Originally posted by Malcolm Tan View Post
          1. What is it to seek god and de-clutter my life?
          It mainly means sacrificing something in order to be open to what God wants you to do, or at least making God the ultimate priority.

          And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 2he young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. (Matt. 19:16-22)

          Possessions, power, and ambitions are what keep us from following Christ 100%. Focusing less on these and more on prayer and reading will be immensely profitable for you in simplifying your life. At least, this has been the case for me.

          2. What can i do to draw myself away from the urges to go back to alt rock, emo.
          The best way could be finding some Christian alternative bands like Pillar, Stellar Kart, and Fireflight. I was into black metal and goth until I became convicted of them; so I began listening to other genres. Eventually, I had no problems with the lyrics of songs - they do not play a role in how I feel. But if it's the sound of alt-rock that makes you depressed, I would recommend getting into a different style of music if possible.

          3. What can i do to fight the urges to talk to her?
          This is a bit harder to answer. I want to say that you should still be friendly to her even if it does not lead anywhere more significant. But I understand a pain like that. Largely, it is your decision how you approach this. If you do not want to become attached, try to avoid spending so much time around her. Focus on improving yourself in case God calls you to a relationship with someone better for you.

          4. Should i keep my distance away from her?
          Personally, I would behave as still being friends (assuming you and her are friends). You shouldn't completely cut contact from her unless your heart simply cannot handle the stress. If this is the case, then perhaps yes, you should distance yourself from that.
          「耶和華聖潔無比,獨一無二,沒有磐石像我們的上帝。
          撒母耳記上 (1 Samuel) 2:2

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          • #6
            Re: HELP!

            As a 20 year old who at one time was heavily into alt rock and used to fancy myself a "player" for some reason, I heavily empathize with you in this regard.

            1. As has been noted by the always wise Protective Angel, seeking God means following Him in all His commands, to the absolute best of your ability. This way of life, the higher way of life through Christ, really took hold of me during a men's retreat with my church. Spending time with far wiser men than I in fellowship together really opened my heart. So, I have two pieces of advice hear: 1) Find a man far older than you, preferably a pastor, to mentor you. God has blessed me beyond measure through a multitude of mentors that have almost always been there to keep me on the right track. Advice #2) Read the four gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Pay attention specifically to Jesus' teachings, and in every facet of your life, seek to follow them. This is the way of the warrior that God calls us all to be.

            2. Protective Angel nails it again, just stick to the answer to question. I have found several bands that have an alt rock vibe but are Christian. I suggest Third Day (Their songs Ready, Slow Down, and Hit Me Like A Bullet are my favorite 3, I think) and News Boys (My favorites are Born Again, Jesus Freak, and How We Roll). Remember, the music style is not what's wrong, it's the lyrics that pull you from the narrow path.

            3. Accept that she has a boyfriend and simply move on. Do not associate with her.

            4. Yes. Contrary to what people may tell you, men and women CANNOT just be friends (by "friend" here I mean talk to each other often and in person, hang out alone, etc as people would do with their same gender friends without catching feelings for them) nor did God design us to be so. Men and women were designed to be attracted to each other. Would you hang out with other women 1 on 1 if you were married? I should hope not. Obviously, such a thing would be inappropriate, and I suspect all the people who think guys and girls can just be friends would change their tune very quickly if such a scenario were to be presented.

            Good luck, brother. Remember, the path to righteousness is narrow. The great deceiver, Satan, lurks in the shadows just on the edge.

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