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I think I might have a saviour complex.

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  • I think I might have a saviour complex.

    My dad no longer believes in God, my sister never did, my mom is a pagan sympathizer and I was raised in a hypocritical Catholic environment. I've had a bad experience with a priest once when he humiliated me in front of a lot of people because i asked him what an image on a wall meant. I started reading the bible, and it won me over wholeheartedly, but my environment is bad. I went to a protestant church where i made a friend who abandoned me. I stopped going because i don't have a car and the church is very far. All local churches are french only. When i told my Catholic grandma that i started going to a protestant church,she said that i should endure with the catholic faith till the end.

    I feel the need to save my family, because i feel they are going down a bad path, but feel powerless to do so. I also love them but hate them at the same time for the abuse they brought upon me growing up. I want to forgive them for that, but can't because when i see them, they won't stop abusing me. Sometimes i feel i would be way better off cutting them out completely.

    When i asked my dad if he ever tried reading the bible, he said he did but didn't understand a word of it. My sister said she feels no need for religion, and my mom is even more avert to it. They ridicule me and persecute me when i quote the bible.

    I just don't know what to do anymore. The only idea that comes to mind is to lead by example, but now i suffer from such anxiety and depression that i literally tremble when I am made to speak to strangers. I am paranoid, probably from complex PTSD. I am a social person, but i isolated as a form of rebellion against the evils in my family. No one noticed, and this isolation poured into my relationships with other people.

    People say i sound emotionless like a robot, but in fact i am so exhausted and worn out that i struggle to find any reason to live at all. The only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is a cigarette, and the only time i feel like interacting with people is when i'm drunk.

    Yet i feel a great deal of sympathy and compassion for everyone, from family to animals to even insects, and i don't want them to feel any more pain. I love God and Jesus, and I feel i would be a great candidate to take up the cross, but i feel spiritually enslaved to my own family and sometimes i feel they want it that way.

  • #2
    Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

    I don't think it's a savior complex. I think you want desperately for you family to be saved.

    Obviously what is going on is not working. To be frank, you aren't the only person who is suffering because of a lost family. It's very hard for immediate family members to win over their own.

    A man in my Sunday School class is dying. His adult daughter isn't saved and he and his wife are in agony over it. They can't reach her. Even his physical suffering and imminent death doesn't move her. Another couple in my Sunday School class has a gay daughter - she won't listen when they want to talk about it. They love her dearly and cannot do anything to even talk to her. A good friend of mine has a gay adult daughter. She told her mother recently that she could be her mother or she could be a Christian, but she can't be both. It's painful to no end.

    It's very hard to bring immediate family to the Lord.

    Perhaps the best you could do now is to pray for them. And even fast on their behalf. Even skipping just one meal if you can't go a whole day and going to the LORD and telling him that you are fasting on their behalf for him to move. Pray for their hearts to be softened, for God to draw them to him, for people around them who aren't so close to be a witness.

    I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I will pray.
    sigpic
    ".....it's your nickel"

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    • #3
      Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

      Originally posted by Translucent1 View Post
      My dad no longer believes in God, my sister never did, my mom is a pagan sympathizer and I was raised in a hypocritical Catholic environment. I've had a bad experience with a priest once when he humiliated me in front of a lot of people because i asked him what an image on a wall meant. I started reading the bible, and it won me over wholeheartedly, but my environment is bad. I went to a protestant church where i made a friend who abandoned me. I stopped going because i don't have a car and the church is very far. All local churches are french only. When i told my Catholic grandma that i started going to a protestant church,she said that i should endure with the catholic faith till the end.

      I feel the need to save my family, because i feel they are going down a bad path, but feel powerless to do so. I also love them but hate them at the same time for the abuse they brought upon me growing up. I want to forgive them for that, but can't because when i see them, they won't stop abusing me. Sometimes i feel i would be way better off cutting them out completely.

      When i asked my dad if he ever tried reading the bible, he said he did but didn't understand a word of it. My sister said she feels no need for religion, and my mom is even more avert to it. They ridicule me and persecute me when i quote the bible.

      I just don't know what to do anymore. The only idea that comes to mind is to lead by example, but now i suffer from such anxiety and depression that i literally tremble when I am made to speak to strangers. I am paranoid, probably from complex PTSD. I am a social person, but i isolated as a form of rebellion against the evils in my family. No one noticed, and this isolation poured into my relationships with other people.

      People say i sound emotionless like a robot, but in fact i am so exhausted and worn out that i struggle to find any reason to live at all. The only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is a cigarette, and the only time i feel like interacting with people is when i'm drunk.

      Yet i feel a great deal of sympathy and compassion for everyone, from family to animals to even insects, and i don't want them to feel any more pain. I love God and Jesus, and I feel i would be a great candidate to take up the cross, but i feel spiritually enslaved to my own family and sometimes i feel they want it that way.
      You are what I was.

      When I was first saved, my family had no belief. It was hard. I struggled. Stumbled often. My step-father and mother were saved 30 years later and I never knew at the time. It was raised to my attention by an old Sunday school teacher, how I asked for prayer for them when I was first saved. Never give up.

      Scripture from the Bible says, we plant the seeds of belief, we water the seeds, but God makes them grow. We can only do our part, God will do His.
      Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.Matt 5:6

      I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. John 13:15

      Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
      And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
      Matt 25:46

      For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith,
      and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
      1 Tim 6:10

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

        Originally posted by jayne View Post
        I don't think it's a savior complex. I think you want desperately for you family to be saved.

        Obviously what is going on is not working. To be frank, you aren't the only person who is suffering because of a lost family. It's very hard for immediate family members to win over their own.

        A man in my Sunday School class is dying. His adult daughter isn't saved and he and his wife are in agony over it. They can't reach her. Even his physical suffering and imminent death doesn't move her. Another couple in my Sunday School class has a gay daughter - she won't listen when they want to talk about it. They love her dearly and cannot do anything to even talk to her. A good friend of mine has a gay adult daughter. She told her mother recently that she could be her mother or she could be a Christian, but she can't be both. It's painful to no end.

        It's very hard to bring immediate family to the Lord.

        Perhaps the best you could do now is to pray for them. And even fast on their behalf. Even skipping just one meal if you can't go a whole day and going to the LORD and telling him that you are fasting on their behalf for him to move. Pray for their hearts to be softened, for God to draw them to him, for people around them who aren't so close to be a witness.

        I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I will pray.
        Do you think fasting makes prayer more successful? What is the best way to fast successfully? What mind frame should I be in, because I do think fasting is a good idea, but i want to do it for the right reasons, not as an outward display; if it would help me to see more clearly I will do it because I have a lot of unresolved emotions and issues that might be solved through prayer.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

          Originally posted by Protective Angel View Post
          You are what I was.

          When I was first saved, my family had no belief. It was hard. I struggled. Stumbled often. My step-father and mother were saved 30 years later and I never knew at the time. It was raised to my attention by an old Sunday school teacher, how I asked for prayer for them when I was first saved. Never give up.

          Scripture from the Bible says, we plant the seeds of belief, we water the seeds, but God makes them grow. We can only do our part, God will do His.
          Never give up... thanks for the encouragement, I will pray and ponder about this for a while.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

            As I was praying, I asked God, how can I in good conscience pray for my family when i feel so much resentment and anger towards them? Then I got a vision of when I was a little kid, and my dad was making a toy for me, and my mom was taking care of me, and my sister was happy... It made me think that the situation wasn't always so dismal, and perhaps these stressful times will pass and we can be a happy family again.

            I do think it's a good idea to fast, but I don't have much faith in my ability to do so without constant prayer, and that means putting aside literally everything. It won't be easy, it will require a major change in lifestyle for a while.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I think I might have a saviour complex.

              Originally posted by Translucent1 View Post
              I feel the need to save my family, because i feel they are going down a bad path, but feel powerless to do so.
              Hi Translucent1, you are hardly powerless! After all, you have the ear of the Almighty Himself since you are one of His own As others mentioned above, it sounds like faithful prayer may be the best and principle means you have right now of doing good and helping your family begin to see past their spiritual blindness and find their way to the Lord.

              I have some difficult family members as well (as far as the Christian faith is concerned), and sometimes you really have to find ways to get them to think critically for themselves/to come up with their own answers (and sometimes with answers to their own questions too
              ). If memory serves, they call this way of teaching the "Socratic method", but whatever it's called, it can really help us reach the blockheads that almost all of us have in our own families w/o seeming to be so confrontational to them (though it will take a little more time and effort on your part than just giving them the facts would).

              My father-in-law, for instance, was firmly convinced that he was a "good person" (which he described as someone who, at the very least, "did no harm"), and he was certainly that and far more. He also believed that God would never deny a "good" person entrance through the Pearly Gates, so I asked him, "if that's true, then why did God send His Son down here to die that horrible death on the Cross if it's the 'good' people alone who get to go to Heaven, and they were going to make it there anyway"?

              It definitely got him think'n

              You might also give Gregory Kouhl's book (Kindle or print) called, Tactics, A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions, a read, because you may find some excellent help on those pages as far as witnessing to your family goes (there is also a Study Guide by the same name that goes along with the book if you really want to learn all you can from it).

              You are called to be a faithful "witness" for God. IOW, you should tell others what you know and love about God, the Bible, and the Christian faith, what they have all meant to you, and how you have changed since becoming a Christian. Depending on the situation, you may want to give them your testimony too (why/how you became a Christian), so always be prepared to do that simply and concisely (and then answer any questions they may have if you can). If you can't (or don't feel you can for some reason), just be honest with them (because that's what they really want to see from you anyway) and tell them that you don't know (or you are not really sure) of the answer, but that you'll find out and get back to them as soon as you do know (that, BTW, is also the easiest way to get yourself another opportunity to talk with them about Jesus ).

              The good news is, that's all you're really called to do. It's actually the Holy Spirit's job to "save them", so don't worry if they don't surrender their lives to Him on the spot (though if you sense that the Lord wants to use you to lead them all the way to Him, don't miss the opportunity to do so). Just remember your job description, "witness for God", do the best you can at that, and He'll take care of the rest

              ~Deut

              Galatians 6
              9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.
              10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.
              .
              Last edited by Deuteronomy Skaggs; May 1st 2018, 02:37 AM.
              Matthew 5
              16 Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.


              Matthew 7
              12 However you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.


              1 Corinthians 13
              1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

              1 Peter 3
              15 Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.

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