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Will Jesus forgive me for this

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  • Will Jesus forgive me for this

    So I been dating a girl long distance who is rather unstable herself (she has been raped) and she broke up with me over two things: my Asperger and the fact that I don't have a regular prayer life. She broke up with me several years ago, but since nobody else dates me I am obsessing about everyone that broke up with me -- including her -- even though I don't really like her that much. Its mostly a pride thing, I don't like her REASONS for breaking up with me since those reasons imply I am undatable to everyone else. In any case since my lack of regular prayer was one of the things she didn't like, few days ago I sent her a message [that implied I was not a Christian] Both times I sent a message few minutes later saying I repent for saying what I just did. But in any case do you think Jesus will forgive me for this, seeing that I do believe in Jesus, I was just trying to [make her mad], and then I regretted it shortly thereafter?

    4/16/19 = posted edited by jayne

  • #2
    Re: Will Jesus forgive me for this
    You said: “But in any case do you think Jesus will forgive me for this, seeing that I do believe in Jesus, I was just trying to [make her mad], and then I regretted it shortly thereafter?”

    I guess so, if you were sincere in your regret. But if you were not sincere, really try hard to change because repentance is important, even though Jesus forgave without requiring repentance. And you can be forgiven many times, too. “Then Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven time, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times’” (Matthew 18:21-22, NRSV).

    But can you receive true salvation without repentance, well . . . maybe not. Those who have demonstrated a contempt for God, those who have no sorrow in their heart, those that are comfortable in their sin and have no intention of stopping, then, yes, I believe then one can lose their salvation. We all have free will, so if we are relentless in the rejection of our Lord, eventually God will respect our choice; it is then an unpardonable sin and we can lose our salvation.
    The Outlaw Bible StudentStudies on the Fringe of Christianity
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    • #3
      Re: Will Jesus forgive me for this

      Are you a BIBLICAL Christian ?

      In other words , have you repented of your sins and do you follow Christ ?


      • #4
        Re: Will Jesus forgive me for this

        Well, one proof that I -- at least was -- serious about Jesus is that I was raised Jewish and I came to faith completely on my own, merely by searching the internet. But you have to keep in mind, I came to faith in 2002. They say that the most evangelic times in life are the times when you first come to Christ and the time shortly before you die. So I guess my first most evangelic time is over. Back when I first came to Christ I was obsessing about it, taking various "hard verses" too literally, and spending endless hours searching things online. I think it contributted to my studies not going well. So then, in 2006, when I was nearly kicked out of school, that was a shocker that brought me back to reality -- and no I wasn't kicked out, someone saved me from it.

        In any case, since I did this whole thing on my own, it affected me in two ways:

        1) I was obsessing about things most people don't obsess about and taking things too literally most people don't take so literally. In particular I was obsessing whether "narrow is the gate that leads to life" implies that most people are going to hell -- which means that the fact that so many people are Christian means that the standard is much higher than one would think. And I even found examples of verses in that direction, such as "take what you have and give it to the poor", which I took literally as I have to starve (which of course I didn't do, but I was obsessing whether I would go to hell for the fact that I don't do it), "here are signs that follow him who believs: they will drink snakes poison and live" (so I took it to mean that most people today aren't Christian since most people can't do it), and so forth.

        2) I never heard about things that are common sense to most Christians, and then was confronted by my Christian girlfriends about those things. In particular,

        a) Jax (the girl I dated in 2009--2011, and its the same girl girl I talked about in the original post) confronted me about the fact that I don't have a prayer life. Also when she made me talk to her spiritual counselor, Donna, I started arguing with her so she told Jax that I am "not teachable" and Jax decided that "Lord spoke through Donna", which is what started my problems with her. I never heard of concept of "God speaking through people". The way I read the Gospels was very different from that, to me it sounded like Jesus was very individualistic and was rebuking people from valuing "other mens" opinions. Also Jax told me that Asperger is demonic and she wanted one of her spiritual leaders to cast Asperger demon from me, but before she could do that, I had to develop a prayer life, because of that verse that when the demons are cast out they would bring back worse demons.

        b) Ginger (a girl I dated in 2012--2014) confronted me about the fact that I use cuss words and use God's name in vain. I was surprised since when I use expression "oh my God" I don't literally talk about God, so I don't use God's name in vain, and when I use words like "darn" I am not violating anything in the Bible. She also didn't like when I accepted invite to a party where people were drinking (I didn't see anything wrong with it since I didn't drink myself I simply went there), she also didn't like when I tried to skype with her from Applebees with bar in the background. And, last but not least, she didn't like when I was trying to debate with her whether babies go to hell or not (I was the one saying they go to hell and she was the one saying they go to heaven). Now whether or not babies go to hell is one question. But whether or not I would be a bad Christian for saying that they do is a completely different question -- and I didn't get why she was saying I am a bad Christian for saying that, especially since I was the one who was sticking to John 14:6.

        In any case, as far as what Ginger was saying, it reminded me of myself -- back in 2003 -- when I was thinking "do I really want to go to this restaurant with loud rock music, its satanic". But you see, I met Ginger in 2012--2014, not 2003. Likewise, as far as what Jax was saying, I remember -- also back in 2003 -- obsessing about the questions "how can I pray and KNOW I am praying to true Jesus rather than to imaginary friend". So its not like I don't care about prayer, I did, but I kept asking really hard questions and then gave up. In any case I was obsessing about it in 2002--2006; I meet both Jax and Ginger few years AFTER that time slot. Thats why I said about "two most evangelic times in life". But they weren't getting it, they were acting as if I was never believer to begin with. Like Jax was saying its my Asperger and Ginger was saying its my Jewish upbringing. Well, if its my Asperger, how come I came to Christ all on my own without anyone's help? And if its my Jewish upbringing, how about the fact that Jews do NOT teach that babies go to hell (in Judaism the age of accountability is officially 13 years old when you get bar mitzvah) so the idea that babies go to hell was simply me taking Bible literally all on my own. And as far as my lukewarm attitude, it wouldn't have been the case if either of those two girls were to come into my life back when I first came to Christ. So I guess I was mad at them for the fact that they didn't acknowledge those things and thats why, in the past, I would deliberately cuss or use gods name in vain when I would be telling people how I am upset at Ginger leaving me. As far as what I said to Jax recently its the first time I did that but I was upset I did that, I will try to never do that again.

        As far as the life of sin, Ginger is super-pure, she was raised by southern baptist family, and she lives at home despite being in her 30-s, and I was her very first partner, she never kissed anyone, etc. Thats probably why she wasn't getting things that I found to be normal. As far as Jax, on the other hand, she was the opposite. She was repeatedly raped by her dad when she was little, and then she ran away from home and moved to New Zeland. She was constantly switching partners, I don't even remember how many boyfriends she have had, it sounds like a lot. She is currently in a long distance relationship with an elderly man, who is married. Back when she had long distance relationship with me, she would constantly try to cyber sex with me, which I dind't want, but I didn't have guts to say no, so I would just act really passive in hopes she would stop. But then she would go to one of her other guys she was doing cyber sex with who can satisfy her better. NOW GET THIS: SHE IS THE SAME GIRL WHO SAID IT IS HORRIBLE I DON"T HAVE PRAYER LIFE. So how can she be so serious about one aspect of being a Christian and at the same time be so dirty. Also, when she was going from me to the other guys, sometimes she would say "I know you weren't praying the Lord has shown me". But she was in a different continent from me! So could it be that I didn't satisfy her through cyber-sex so she didn't like me and then she rationalized it by saying I weren't praying? That would be quite ironic. So its like a good Christian WOULD be cybering with her or what? But at the same time she knows she is in sin -- she admitted to me that when she started her current relationship she could no longer pray because its a big sin. And by the way, the guy she is with is NOT a CHristian. So she broke up with me because presumably I am not good enough Christian and now she is with that guy who is not a Christian either (apart from the fact that -- unlike me -- he is married). In any case, she recently asked me to pray for her cat who was sick because she said she can't pray due to her life of sin. So apparently she no longer accuses me of being bad Christian since she is worse. But when I brought up the subject again as to what it is that stops her from dating me, then she got all defensive and thats what caused me to say what I did.