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  • I have a date tomorrow night

    A guy that I knew back in high school came by my house a little while ago and asked me out for tomorrow night. We knew each other for a couple of years in high school, actually he was dating my cousin at that time. He also occassionally came to the same church that I was going to a few months ago. I think he's a pretty nice guy from what I know about him in the past, but I don't know if I want to become involved with him.

    He called me a few times a few months ago, but we weren't able to go out then because he wasn't able to drive at that time. I know I'm getting ahead of myself on this, but what should I say to him if he asks if I want to start going out or something? I'm at a place in my Christian walk where I'm beginning to put God first and I don't want to get into a relationship that isn't God centered or one that may be a distraction in my Christian walk. I'm not really sure if this guy is currently walking with the Lord.

  • #2
    yyyyaaayyy daaaaaatttttes!

    well, yeah, i'd see where he is with God. like you said, no need for distractions at this point. i'd reccomend hanging out first as non date times, that way it's no pressure. i guess.....

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by *Living~By~Faith* View Post
      A guy that I knew back in high school came by my house a little while ago and asked me out for tomorrow night. We knew each other for a couple of years in high school, actually he was dating my cousin at that time. He also occassionally came to the same church that I was going to a few months ago. I think he's a pretty nice guy from what I know about him in the past, but I don't know if I want to become involved with him.

      He called me a few times a few months ago, but we weren't able to go out then because he wasn't able to drive at that time. I know I'm getting ahead of myself on this, but what should I say to him if he asks if I want to start going out or something? I'm at a place in my Christian walk where I'm beginning to put God first and I don't want to get into a relationship that isn't God centered or one that may be a distraction in my Christian walk. I'm not really sure if this guy is currently walking with the Lord.
      There's no need to "formalize" your relationship with him. Even "going steady" is just a name. The only kind of true, formal commitment that exists is marriage. Just take it one date at a time. There's no need to start sweating about the future when you just need to concentrate on the present for now. See what he's like, ask him very frankly about his spiritual life, and don't make up your mind about anything more than simply if you'd like to see him again. There's no need to go any further at this point.

      And don't forget our discussion a week or so ago about keeping your feelings under control. It's right here, if you need to look at it again.

      Have a great time!
      ----------------------------------------------
      When the plain sense of Scripture make sense, seek no other sense.

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      • #4
        Good gracious, Sweetie...its only a DATE! I really doubt that he'll ask you to marry him or anything like that tomorrow evening. He's JUST wanting to take you somewhere! That is so sweet! Its enough.

        Go! Have a great evening! Just talk. Talk about the old High School days...and people you and he knew...where they are today...and about how cool the weather has gotten lately...JUST TALK! See a great movie, have dinner somewhere...just enjoy the date.

        Relationships are meant to be developed over a longer period of time than just one date.

        Relax. (And be sure to thank him for a wonderful evening! It is something to do. And a lot better than just staying at home. Right?)
        My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

        "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Diggindeeper View Post
          Good gracious, Sweetie...its only a DATE! I really doubt that he'll ask you to marry him or anything like that tomorrow evening. He's JUST wanting to take you somewhere! That is so sweet! Its enough.

          Go! Have a great evening! Just talk. Talk about the old High School days...and people you and he knew...where they are today...and about how cool the weather has gotten lately...JUST TALK! See a great movie, have dinner somewhere...just enjoy the date.

          Relationships are meant to be developed over a longer period of time than just one date.

          Relax. (And be sure to thank him for a wonderful evening! It is something to do. And a lot better than just staying at home. Right?)


          Yep.
          ----------------------------------------------
          When the plain sense of Scripture make sense, seek no other sense.

          Comment


          • #6
            Wow, I've been in that place just this last year

            Originally posted by *Living~By~Faith* View Post
            A guy that I knew back in high school came by my house a little while ago and asked me out for tomorrow night. We knew each other for a couple of years in high school, actually he was dating my cousin at that time. He also occassionally came to the same church that I was going to a few months ago. I think he's a pretty nice guy from what I know about him in the past, but I don't know if I want to become involved with him.

            He called me a few times a few months ago, but we weren't able to go out then because he wasn't able to drive at that time. I know I'm getting ahead of myself on this, but what should I say to him if he asks if I want to start going out or something? I'm at a place in my Christian walk where I'm beginning to put God first and I don't want to get into a relationship that isn't God centered or one that may be a distraction in my Christian walk. I'm not really sure if this guy is currently walking with the Lord.
            I mean where God is truly first in my life. I mean I still think about meeting someone but I pray a lot and talk to God about giving me strength, wisdom and willingness, willingness to obey Him. Last september I met a man that had all the right "stuff". I mean he seemed to love the Lord and although I knew he had been through a lot of problems I just felt God had brought him to me. Thing is, although it turned into a nightmare, I still believe God did atleast allow it to happen for a very good reason. He wanted me to see how "not" so far along I am in keeping Him at the Center of ALL things in my life. That relationship really derailed me, because?? I allowed it to. I am not saying you would do this sis. Really I am not, it just brought back what happened to me. Pray hard and pay attention to God's voice. You will know if the man is truly putting Christ first in his life. But where the rubber meets the road is whether or not we listen if God says no.

            God bless, ysic, denise.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Diggindeeper View Post
              Good gracious, Sweetie...its only a DATE! I really doubt that he'll ask you to marry him or anything like that tomorrow evening. He's JUST wanting to take you somewhere! That is so sweet! Its enough.

              Go! Have a great evening! Just talk. Talk about the old High School days...and people you and he knew...where they are today...and about how cool the weather has gotten lately...JUST TALK! See a great movie, have dinner somewhere...just enjoy the date.

              Relationships are meant to be developed over a longer period of time than just one date.

              Relax. (And be sure to thank him for a wonderful evening! It is something to do. And a lot better than just staying at home. Right?)
              Word!

              You are sweating cos you like the guy...you have liked him for a long time, in fact...and cos of that you are getting way, way ahead of yourself, Darl. It is in your best interest to keep those likings under control so it doesn't get you into trouble or mess up a good outing.

              BUT, by the way, Whatever happened to your cousin and him?

              Its good you keep an 'open-mind' as long as you let your light shine where you have to. You must not let your passion for Christ be undermined at any point. Am not saying turn it into an evangelism crusade. Just keep your light on, in words and deeds.

              You seem to have a good realtionship with The Holy Spirit, why don't don't you have a chat with Him. He might say, don't go on that date, or go, or talk to him about this or that, or wear that or this.....those little things we think God is too big to get involved in in our lives, He likes to

              Please have a good time when go! Holla back!
              You can NEVER Out-Give God. Try Him, you'll be embarrassed!

              Comment


              • #8
                He will be over here in about an hour to get me. We'll have people with us most of the time. Some people from my old church will be meeting us at the restuarant to eat. Then his brother and family will be meeting us at the fair. I'm sort of nervous about seeing the people from my old church because I know they'll be asking questions about why I left, but I think it'll be fine. I'll tell them all about the church that I'm at now. I'm also nervous about getting in his truck. That'll be a little hard for me to do, but hopefully it won't be too bad since it's low to the ground.

                I've wanted to be in a relationship for a long time, but I just don't want to get caught up in one that will be a distraction in my Christian walk. So that'll be something that I will need to figure out. Then take it from there.

                I guess I also want to keep my options open because I'm still holding on to the hope that a guy from my church may ask me out. But I'm not really considered about it anymore, I have given it to God and quit focusing on that happening. I know I can't wait around for it to happen.

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                • #9
                  Everything went well and I had a nice time tonight. We're going to the movies next Friday. I just need to make sure that I don't get too involved with him then decide that I don't want to see him. I think he is walking with the Lord or at least trying to get on the right path. But he said he hasn't been to church in a while because he also doesn't like the pastor at my old church. He also said he doesn't think be comfortable visiting my new church because there are too many people there.

                  This isn't what this thread is about, but it is just so sad that my old church is falling apart due to the pastor and his family. About 10 people have left that church over the past few months and there was only around 30 there to begin with. I believe they are voting on the pastor this coming Sunday so they will try voting him out. But he should voluntary leave since people are leaving.
                  Last edited by *Living~By~Faith*; Sep 27th 2008, 03:20 PM.

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                  • #10
                    If I had a recall vote launched on me, I'm not sure I would even want to stay there. Just that message that you're not wanted--it really lets the wind out of your sails.

                    Your old church has only 20-30 people...and your friend doesn't like it there because there are too many people?!??

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                    • #11
                      There are over 200 people at my new church and my friend says he gets nervous being around a lot of people. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable with the crowds at the fair.

                      They vote on the pastor at the end of September or beginning of October at my old church to see if the congregation wants him to stay for another year. I didn't like the way they did the voting last year because it wasn't done privately like it should have been. So I'm wondering if that pastor will agree to stay if the church votes him to stay or if he will voluntarily leave since people in the church are leaving.

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                      • #12
                        I'm going to tell this guy that I want to take things slow and just date as friends for a while that is if he wants to continue seeing me. That way I'll still have my options open and he won't be misled and we can still get to know each other to see if there may be a mutual interest in pursuing something. I just don't want to miss out on a chance with him if he is interested in pursuing something with me because I really haven't had many guys show much interest in me in the past. He treated me very well on our date and that isn't something that I can say about most of the guys that I've been on dates with. In fact most of them mistreated me or used me in some way.

                        I think he may be interesed in pursuing something since he did ask me out a few months ago and is still interested in going out with me. That didn't work out at that time because he wasn't able to drive at that time and couldn't find someone to take us. But the reason he couldn't drive was because he lost his license because of DUI. But he told me Friday night that he hasn't drank anything in several months, so I just have to make sure of that before I think about pursuing anything with him.

                        Like I stated in my first post, I'm wanting a God-centered relationship. One where we are able to study the bible together and just talk about the Lord and grow closer to the Lord as we grow closer to each other. But I'm also looking for a relationship where the guy may know more about the Lord than I do so that he can teach me what he knows. The thing about this guy is he isn't able to read, therefore we won't be able to study the bible together and he doesn't know the bible very well.

                        It's kind of ironic, one of the numerous reasons that I left my old church was so that I could meet others in my age group and possibly meet a guy and this guy that I went out with Friday is from my old church. I wouldn't have to give it a second thought if this would have taken place a few months early, but I now have an interest in another guy at my new church and want to make sure that nothing will happen between us before deciding to pursue something. That's just what I'm afraid of, I'll get into a relationship and this guy at my new church will decide to ask me out. I know why that guy isn't wanting a relationship right now, but those circumstances could change any day.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by *Living~By~Faith* View Post
                          I could tell he was getting uncomfortable with the crowds at the fair.
                          yeah, i have that too. it's called agoraphobia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraphobia

                          it's annoying. i don't go out much.

                          Originally posted by *Living~By~Faith* View Post
                          I'm going to tell this guy that I want to take things slow and just date as friends for a while that is if he wants to continue seeing me. That way I'll still have my options open and he won't be misled and we can still get to know each other to see if there may be a mutual interest in pursuing something. I just don't want to miss out on a chance with him if he is interested in pursuing something with me because I really haven't had many guys show much interest in me in the past. He treated me very well on our date and that isn't something that I can say about most of the guys that I've been on dates with. In fact most of them mistreated me or used me in some way.

                          I think he may be interesed in pursuing something since he did ask me out a few months ago and is still interested in going out with me. That didn't work out at that time because he wasn't able to drive at that time and couldn't find someone to take us. But the reason he couldn't drive was because he lost his license because of DUI. But he told me Friday night that he hasn't drank anything in several months, so I just have to make sure of that before I think about pursuing anything with him.


                          Like I stated in my first post, I'm wanting a God-centered relationship. One where we are able to study the bible together and just talk about the Lord and grow closer to the Lord as we grow closer to each other. But I'm also looking for a relationship where the guy may know more about the Lord than I do so that he can teach me what he knows. The thing about this guy is he isn't able to read, therefore we won't be able to study the bible together and he doesn't know the bible very well.
                          seriously, google gobible. i got one for my friend.


                          It's kind of ironic, one of the numerous reasons that I left my old church was so that I could meet others in my age group and possibly meet a guy and this guy that I went out with Friday is from my old church. I wouldn't have to give it a second thought if this would have taken place a few months early, but I now have an interest in another guy at my new church and want to make sure that nothing will happen between us before deciding to pursue something. That's just what I'm afraid of, I'll get into a relationship and this guy at my new church will decide to ask me out. I know why that guy isn't wanting a relationship right now, but those circumstances could change any day.
                          so then, this guy you went on a date with is in second place to this other guy.....?

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                          • #14
                            I didn't realize that I was putting this guy in second place to the other guy. I just don't like being interested in two guys at the same time. I don't think it's fair to either guy.

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                            • #15
                              The guy never called me back for a second date. I can also forget about the other guy from my church because he's showing an interest in someone else from church. I guess I'm probably better off being alone right now and putting all of my focus on God and on who God wants me to be.
                              Last edited by *Living~By~Faith*; Oct 7th 2008, 06:11 AM.

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