Hi saints!
I have some godly concerns and everytime I think about marriage or relationships it comes up.
First off, if it is God's plan that I get married, I really want to know if the woman I am dating is the right one for me; and I've heard it said to write down all the qualities that you want in a woman, and if she matches most of them you are pretty close.
Another big concern I have had is, it seems genetically engineered in me that I become controlling or manipulative in a relationship 3-4 months into it. My dad has this problem and I think it has been passed down to me. I pray that the Lord will break it off of me, but it's hard.
I am absolutely terrified of finding the right woman, getting married, being in love, and suddenly some day she's not enough for me and I become controlling and manipulative, perhaps even physical, picking out every little thing she does wrong and criticizing. Now I hate doing that - but if I have a bad day, and I'm not abiding in the Word as much, that can happen just out of guilty feelings in my own self.
I'm a very emotional person and it can manifest itself wonderfully in romance and love, but also in anger and hurtfulness. With God's help I am able to keep it under control, as I am not the servant of my emotions, I am the servant of Christ.
I just hate being taken advantage of, and my feelings and emotions sometimes fire off in ways that they shouldn't. If I ever have kids I'm afraid I might discipline them too much out of anger or frustration, which is not a good practice.
I've often thought because of these problems I am to be alone until God fixes them, because it doesn't seem like I'm ready, but yet spiritually I do feel ready.
I really want to love a wife and treat her with respect and dignity and honor, lifting her up in praise and wonder. However I must also learn to keep my fort of emotions under control because that devotion could easily lead to frustration when the favors are not being returned and I feel I am being rejected.
I've destroyed wonderful relationships for this reason. I've repented but my flesh is always on the roam, the ghost that it is.
Any advice? Encouragement? Cookies?
Thanks!
I have some godly concerns and everytime I think about marriage or relationships it comes up.
First off, if it is God's plan that I get married, I really want to know if the woman I am dating is the right one for me; and I've heard it said to write down all the qualities that you want in a woman, and if she matches most of them you are pretty close.
Another big concern I have had is, it seems genetically engineered in me that I become controlling or manipulative in a relationship 3-4 months into it. My dad has this problem and I think it has been passed down to me. I pray that the Lord will break it off of me, but it's hard.
I am absolutely terrified of finding the right woman, getting married, being in love, and suddenly some day she's not enough for me and I become controlling and manipulative, perhaps even physical, picking out every little thing she does wrong and criticizing. Now I hate doing that - but if I have a bad day, and I'm not abiding in the Word as much, that can happen just out of guilty feelings in my own self.
I'm a very emotional person and it can manifest itself wonderfully in romance and love, but also in anger and hurtfulness. With God's help I am able to keep it under control, as I am not the servant of my emotions, I am the servant of Christ.
I just hate being taken advantage of, and my feelings and emotions sometimes fire off in ways that they shouldn't. If I ever have kids I'm afraid I might discipline them too much out of anger or frustration, which is not a good practice.
I've often thought because of these problems I am to be alone until God fixes them, because it doesn't seem like I'm ready, but yet spiritually I do feel ready.
I really want to love a wife and treat her with respect and dignity and honor, lifting her up in praise and wonder. However I must also learn to keep my fort of emotions under control because that devotion could easily lead to frustration when the favors are not being returned and I feel I am being rejected.
I've destroyed wonderful relationships for this reason. I've repented but my flesh is always on the roam, the ghost that it is.
Any advice? Encouragement? Cookies?
Thanks!
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