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  • Need Advice: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

    I've been a christian my whole life but only recently put my faith in him and my spirituality is very much increasing. The thing is I don't want to wait till marraige for sex, and before putting my faith in god i bought condoms because i was planning to have sex with my gf, which it would be both of our first. I love her very much even without sex but i really want to... Please give me some advice

  • #2
    Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

    Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
    I've been a christian my whole life but only recently put my faith in him and my spirituality is very much increasing. The thing is I don't want to wait till marraige for sex, and before putting my faith in god i bought condoms because i was planning to have sex with my gf, which it would be both of our first. I love her very much even without sex but i really want to... Please give me some advice
    Do you feel that you have a close relationship with God?

    Based on this initial post, you've set yourself up for failure in heeding the fear that you have of God and thus, will not heed conviction of the Holy Spirit that is already telling you it will be a sin to go through with the sex before marriage.

    Now, asking this question is a good start to heeding the conviction but in the end, it will be up to you to choose. You will one day be the "priest" of your home and it will be your responsibility to raise your kids to be in the Lord and right in His ways. Would you want your children to make the same mistake you are about to make?
    Slug1--out

    ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

      Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
      Do you feel that you have a close relationship with God?

      Based on this initial post, you've set yourself up for failure in heeding the fear that you have of God and thus, will not heed conviction of the Holy Spirit that is already telling you it will be a sin to go through with the sex before marriage.

      Now, asking this question is a good start to heeding the conviction but in the end, it will be up to you to choose. You will one day be the "priest" of your home and it will be your responsibility to raise your kids to be in the Lord and right in His ways. Would you want your children to make the same mistake you are about to make?
      I do not have a "fear" of god or whatever you seem to be saying. But i truly love my girlfriend and i believe god wants me to be with her, when 3 years ago my grandfather had a stroke and my family moved to take care of him i met this girl and dreamt of her, we dated, broke up but started dating again. We have strong feelings for eachother and i have never been able to get over her, i feel that my grandfathers stroke was so i could meet her. I truly love her but also know i can die any day and she is the girl i'd wanna give my virginity too but i know that's fornification, and sex before marraige is a sin v.v

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

        Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
        I do not have a "fear" of god or whatever you seem to be saying. But i truly love my girlfriend and i believe god wants me to be with her, when 3 years ago my grandfather had a stroke and my family moved to take care of him i met this girl and dreamt of her, we dated, broke up but started dating again. We have strong feelings for eachother and i have never been able to get over her, i feel that my grandfathers stroke was so i could meet her. I truly love her but also know i can die any day and she is the girl i'd wanna give my virginity too but i know that's fornification, and sex before marraige is a sin v.v
        and yes i believe i have a good relationship with god but i still can have a much better one ^^

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

          Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
          I do not have a "fear" of god or whatever you seem to be saying. But i truly love my girlfriend and i believe god wants me to be with her, when 3 years ago my grandfather had a stroke and my family moved to take care of him i met this girl and dreamt of her, we dated, broke up but started dating again. We have strong feelings for eachother and i have never been able to get over her, i feel that my grandfathers stroke was so i could meet her. I truly love her but also know i can die any day and she is the girl i'd wanna give my virginity too but i know that's fornification, and sex before marraige is a sin v.v
          If you love her then marry her. It's worth waiting for. Consider that the way you feel about her now may not last. True love is about decisions out of love, not feelings. Make a decision out of love, and decide to do the right thing.

          How many people have been in your situation, and then lost the love later on? Literally millions. Please don't assume you are different, because all of them felt exactly like you do. Doesn't mean she's not for you, its great you found someone awesome. But make rational choices, not hormone-driven ones.

          I felt exactly like you did for my wife before I met her. After being married for a while though, the infatuation fades away and you live based on willful love, not infatuation. Try to see the long view rather than the short one.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

            Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
            I do not have a "fear" of god or whatever you seem to be saying. But i truly love my girlfriend and i believe god wants me to be with her, when 3 years ago my grandfather had a stroke and my family moved to take care of him i met this girl and dreamt of her, we dated, broke up but started dating again. We have strong feelings for eachother and i have never been able to get over her, i feel that my grandfathers stroke was so i could meet her. I truly love her but also know i can die any day and she is the girl i'd wanna give my virginity too but i know that's fornification, and sex before marraige is a sin v.v
            Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
            and yes i believe i have a good relationship with god but i still can have a much better one ^^
            Based on these responses, you KNOW what is the right choice. It's the DOING the right choice that seems to be the problem.

            Have you two prayed about this together?

            As for the "fear" of the Lord. I encourage the two of you to study this topic. Conviction is an element but true and righteous "fear" of God enables Christians to resist the devil. Fear of the Lord will lead to the heeding of His commandments.
            Slug1--out

            ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

              Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
              Based on these responses, you KNOW what is the right choice. It's the DOING the right choice that seems to be the problem.

              Have you two prayed about this together?

              As for the "fear" of the Lord. I encourage the two of you to study this topic. Conviction is an element but true and righteous "fear" of God enables Christians to resist the devil. Fear of the Lord will lead to the heeding of His commandments.
              i would pray together but... she isn't nessecarily christian, she doesn't know what to believe and i've been praying that she finds jesus

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
                I've been a christian my whole life but only recently put my faith in him and my spirituality is very much increasing. The thing is I don't want to wait till marraige for sex, and before putting my faith in god i bought condoms because i was planning to have sex with my gf, which it would be both of our first. I love her very much even without sex but i really want to... Please give me some advice
                You can do it your way or God's way. When you are older and look back on your life, you will wish you had done it God's way. Much of the stuff I did in my youth is nothing but painful memories at the present.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                  Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
                  i would pray together but... she isn't nessecarily christian, she doesn't know what to believe and i've been praying that she finds jesus
                  Action speaks much louder than any words as you witness to her. Should you pray together, and then act sinfully by not waiting till you are married... how do you think satan will use such a sin against your future marriage and against you as an ambassador of Christ in her life?

                  Would you listen to a Christian witnessing to you, if you knew they were willfully sinning? Do you feel that God would be able to effectively use you as a witness for the Gospel?
                  Slug1--out

                  ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                    Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
                    Action speaks much louder than any words as you witness to her. Should you pray together, and then act sinfully by not waiting till you are married... how do you think satan will use such a sin against your future marriage and against you as an ambassador of Christ in her life?

                    Would you listen to a Christian witnessing to you, if you knew they were willfully sinning? Do you feel that God would be able to effectively use you as a witness for the Gospel?
                    Your right, I'm so much of a sinner and an adulter, i am not worthy of gods love but he loves me anyways and he is great. I shall do my best to withstand these urgers though i am afraid of the temptation satin gives me towards her. I feel I do not deserve to spread god's love i feel i do not even deserve god's love
                    He is much to kind to me when I have committed such sins with knowing what i was doing. I am so very unworthy of god's love but why he blesses me with such an amazing girl i do not know for I am much of a sinner and adulter (previous porn addict) I know god knows what he's doing and i feel obligated to help her find christ i shall resist the temptation as best as i can with god's help

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                      Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
                      Your right, I'm so much of a sinner and an adulter, i am not worthy of gods love but he loves me anyways and he is great. I shall do my best to withstand these urgers though i am afraid of the temptation satin gives me towards her. I feel I do not deserve to spread god's love i feel i do not even deserve god's love
                      He is much to kind to me when I have committed such sins with knowing what i was doing. I am so very unworthy of god's love but why he blesses me with such an amazing girl i do not know for I am much of a sinner and adulter (previous porn addict) I know god knows what he's doing and i feel obligated to help her find christ i shall resist the temptation as best as i can with god's help
                      I encourage you to read through the testimony that God has given me as He does His work in me:

                      http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...estimony-today
                      Slug1--out

                      ~"In the turmoil of any chaos, all it takes is that whisper that is heard like thunder over all the noise and the chaos seems to go away, focus returns and we are comforted in knowing that God has listened to our cry for help."~

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                        Originally posted by Slug1 View Post
                        I encourage you to read through the testimony that God has given me as He does His work in me:

                        http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...estimony-today
                        So far I have only read the first few paragraphs but it is really inspiring but this is one thing i feel i get more than i deserve from god, I am a sinner and I am far from perfect but yet my life seems perfect and I just feel I've been given much more than i deserve, would you happen to have a facebook? I would much like to friend you and invite you to my group conservation of my mothers where you can share your testimony

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                          what about masterbation though, would that be considered a sin? If i imagined my girlfriend?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                            I'm curious how many here have actually saved themselves for marriage. I would imagine that number is fairly low. I personally have no advice on this one because I would feel like a hypocrite. It's a tough one indeed.
                            I know what I know
                            I know what I don't know
                            I don't know what I don't know.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I don't want to wait for marraige to have sex?

                              Originally posted by kibblerz View Post
                              what about masterbation though, would that be considered a sin? If i imagined my girlfriend?
                              The Bible no where specifically forbids masturbation. It does however denounce all forms of sexual impurity and fantasies whether actual or mental. I guess the question is whether you can masturbate without fantasy. I think that would be a difficult task.
                              I know what I know
                              I know what I don't know
                              I don't know what I don't know.

                              Comment

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