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  • Question about parents

    Hi,

    Not sure if this question is ok here as it's not really partically a guy question.

    I am a teenager, love my parents and usually I do what they ask.

    Except for now. What would you do when your mom asks you to do something that you know is the wrong decision and it will end not well? I have tried talking to her but she keeps insisting I do it, I told both of my parents how it will go down, my dad just says do what your mom tells you to do, even though I think he thinks it's a bad idea, too.

    I just do not want to follow through with this because like I said, it's just the wrong thing to do...not wrong ethically, but common sense wrong.

    Would you do it, knowing it's going to end bad and then just be like I told you so, or just not do it at all?

    I would appreciate some godly advice. Thanks.

  • #2
    Re: Question about parents

    I would have to say, go to the Lord in prayer and ask for His guidance on what you should do, because He is the ultimate authority as to what you should do, If He places it on your heart to do it, then do it, but if He tells you that you shouldn't do it, then respectively explain to your mom why you feel you can't and be specific about it. Don't just say, because I don't feel that it will end well. Give a specific reason why you cannot do it. Be patient and wait on the Lord to answer you and don't jump the gun and do it, because you feel it's what YOU should do. All too often this is what we do, instead of waiting to see if it's what the Lord wants. This is what gets us into trouble. When God guides you, He will protect you in the decision's that you make.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Question about parents

      Originally posted by Lorral View Post
      I would have to say, go to the Lord in prayer and ask for His guidance on what you should do, because He is the ultimate authority as to what you should do, If He places it on your heart to do it, then do it, but if He tells you that you shouldn't do it, then respectively explain to your mom why you feel you can't and be specific about it. Don't just say, because I don't feel that it will end well. Give a specific reason why you cannot do it. Be patient and wait on the Lord to answer you and don't jump the gun and do it, because you feel it's what YOU should do. All too often this is what we do, instead of waiting to see if it's what the Lord wants. This is what gets us into trouble. When God guides you, He will protect you in the decision's that you make.
      No disrespect meant but are you male or female?
      This is a guy's forum, just want to make sure.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Question about parents

        Originally posted by DavidC View Post
        Hi,

        Not sure if this question is ok here as it's not really partically a guy question.

        I am a teenager, love my parents and usually I do what they ask.

        Except for now. What would you do when your mom asks you to do something that you know is the wrong decision and it will end not well? I have tried talking to her but she keeps insisting I do it, I told both of my parents how it will go down, my dad just says do what your mom tells you to do, even though I think he thinks it's a bad idea, too.

        I just do not want to follow through with this because like I said, it's just the wrong thing to do...not wrong ethically, but common sense wrong.

        Would you do it, knowing it's going to end bad and then just be like I told you so, or just not do it at all?

        I would appreciate some godly advice. Thanks.
        It’s hard to say without knowing the actual details.

        Teenagers often don’t see as full a picture as their parents can because of the lack of years. As an adult, I know far more about this life and how it treats people and how to handle a wide range of situations than my teenage son and daughter. And when I was a teenager I knew far less than my parents even though I didn’t think so the time. Looking back, I wish I had listened and took their advice more often than I did.

        And without know more details of your situation someone giving you advice would be like a blind man giving you direction to get to somewhere he has never been.

        Sorry

        But if there are no details coming forth my advice to you would be to listen to your parents. Obey your mom and dad. How could I give advise that would have you go against your parents bringing a wedge between you and them?
        "He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion."
        C.S. Lewis, "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."

        "Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years"
        "Sometimes the sky rains night after night, When will it clear?"

        "But our Hope endures the worst of conditions"
        "It's more than our optimism, Let the earth quake"
        "Our Hope is unchanged"
        "Our Hope Endures" Natalie Grant

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Question about parents

          Originally posted by Old man View Post
          It’s hard to say without knowing the actual details.

          Teenagers often don’t see as full a picture as their parents can because of the lack of years. As an adult, I know far more about this life and how it treats people and how to handle a wide range of situations than my teenage son and daughter. And when I was a teenager I knew far less than my parents even though I didn’t think so the time. Looking back, I wish I had listened and took their advice more often than I did.

          And without know more details of your situation someone giving you advice would be like a blind man giving you direction to get to somewhere he has never been.

          Sorry
          Ok I guess that's fair. I was hoping I wouldn't need to give detail.
          Maybe I will later. Thank you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Question about parents

            Originally posted by DavidC View Post
            Hi,

            Not sure if this question is ok here as it's not really partically a guy question.

            I am a teenager, love my parents and usually I do what they ask.

            Except for now. What would you do when your mom asks you to do something that you know is the wrong decision and it will end not well? I have tried talking to her but she keeps insisting I do it, I told both of my parents how it will go down, my dad just says do what your mom tells you to do, even though I think he thinks it's a bad idea, too.

            I just do not want to follow through with this because like I said, it's just the wrong thing to do...not wrong ethically, but common sense wrong.

            Would you do it, knowing it's going to end bad and then just be like I told you so, or just not do it at all?

            I would appreciate some godly advice. Thanks.
            If your mother is trying to get you to sin, perhaps you shouldn't do it. But if it is just a poor decision in your eyes, do it. It is better to honor your father and mother than to avoid a meaningless mistake in God's eyes.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Question about parents

              Maybe we could discuss why your parents don't really agree. Is your dad abdicating his responsibility to take part in decisions or is this the kind of decision that is more of a woman's call? Why haven't you been able to have more of a detailed conversation with him.

              It sounds to me that he has indicated that you should do what your mom wants and you might be grasping for a reason not to obey her.

              Alternatively, has all this already transpired, has the thing already happened, and if so, how did it turn out? Were you right?
              As the "thief" in the night, Christ is going to suddenly appear on the throne of Israel - not the antichrist.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Question about parents

                Originally posted by Tony P View Post
                If your mother is trying to get you to sin, perhaps you shouldn't do it. But if it is just a poor decision in your eyes, do it. It is better to honor your father and mother than to avoid a meaningless mistake in God's eyes.
                No she would never do that.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Question about parents

                  Originally posted by Aijalon View Post
                  Maybe we could discuss why your parents don't really agree. Is your dad abdicating his responsibility to take part in decisions or is this the kind of decision that is more of a woman's call? Why haven't you been able to have more of a detailed conversation with him.

                  It sounds to me that he has indicated that you should do what your mom wants and you might be grasping for a reason not to obey her.

                  Alternatively, has all this already transpired, has the thing already happened, and if so, how did it turn out? Were you right?
                  No, it hasn't been resolved and it's somewhat embarrassing and you all will probably think this is stupid. About two weeks ago, my mom left her car at the house, she went somewhere with one of her friends, my dad was at work. Thry have been teaching me how to drive, so I did not think it was a big deal to practice. We live on a really dead street, and I only drove it one block and turned around. When I turned around, I had to back up and when I did that, I hit a neighbor's mailbox and it almost fell over. I drove the car home then went to fix the mailbox, it looked fixed but the next day it almost fell over again.

                  Long story short, I told my parents what I did and in the meantime, my neighbor fixed the mailbox. This neighbor already hates me because about 3 years ago we were playing football in the yard right next to his and I broke his window.

                  Even though he fixed it and my parents already know, my mom told me to go tell him that it was me who did it and I think that is a horrible idea, really bad idea! It'' better to just leave it alone. I already repented, told my parents I was sorry and I think my neighbor has moved on.

                  That is what I asked about, what do you all think?
                  Thanks.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Question about parents

                    Obey your parents unless it's a blatant sin/criminal offence
                    Amazzin

                    Obedience to God is more than a soldier obeying his commander. It is our grateful response to the Lover of our souls.

                    CHURCH: Where worship is enjoyed, not endured - Grace is preached, not legalism - And Christ is exalted, not religion!



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Question about parents

                      Originally posted by amazzin View Post
                      Obey your parents unless it's a blatant sin/criminal offence
                      Hi amazzin,

                      Thanks for your answer. You are probabky right, but what do you think if I asked for a compromise? If my mom wants him to know, then maybe she could tell him? What do you think about that solution?

                      Thanks.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Question about parents

                        David. This is troubling your soul. You should act humbly and confess your misdeed. Your act of humility is what God is looking for. Perhaps it will be met with differently than you think. Confessing what happened is the only way that your conscience will be cleared.
                        Some people don't mind contradicting themselves as long as they can keep disagreeing with you...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Question about parents

                          I don't think it's stupid at all.

                          It sounds like you're just being sheepish, and yes, I think you're grasping for excuses.

                          The polite and right thing to do is confess.

                          So let's suppose that this guy doesn't really "hate" you, but rather he's gruff and grouchy. How do you think having to repair his mail box made him feel and what is his overall opinion of people who hit mailboxes and don't report it? You have just reinforced his reasons for being a grumpy man, you're actually contributing his problem.

                          Now imagine yourself standing on his porch, alone (mom and dad standing in the distance...watching... oh the shame). Imagine you are holding a gift. $50 you earned through hard work. Imagine yourself giving him $50 for the cost and effort of fixing his own mailbox, saying, "here, this is for the mailbox I knocked over by accident, I'm sorry I should have told you sooner but I was embarrassed".

                          From that point on, it doesn't matter what he says in response, I would bet that you will feel much much better about yourself, your parent's opinion of you will be improved, your soul will be healed, you will move on.

                          Suppose that the grouchy man does not "move on". Suppose that he frowns at you from here to forevermore. You can always look back on that day you stood on his porch and shuffled your feet and you can say you did everything you could.

                          Heck, you might even smile and wave at him every time he frowns, you never know, he might not realize he's frowning. Maybe he's sad.

                          Let's just say I think $50 and polite apology is easy, and would suggest more, but I don't know you, so just give that thought a test drive. I think by posting here you showed that deep inside you know this is more than just how you relate to your parents, and trying to trap mom and dad into a disagreement about what is "smart". Sometimes we can trick ourselves out of the right thing to do with ideas of the smart thing to do. Don't be too clever for your own good, that's my advice.
                          As the "thief" in the night, Christ is going to suddenly appear on the throne of Israel - not the antichrist.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Question about parents

                            Originally posted by Aijalon View Post
                            I don't think it's stupid at all.

                            It sounds like you're just being sheepish, and yes, I think you're grasping for excuses.

                            The polite and right thing to do is confess.

                            So let's suppose that this guy doesn't really "hate" you, but rather he's gruff and grouchy. How do you think having to repair his mail box made him feel and what is his overall opinion of people who hit mailboxes and don't report it? You have just reinforced his reasons for being a grumpy man, you're actually contributing his problem.

                            Now imagine yourself standing on his porch, alone (mom and dad standing in the distance...watching... oh the shame). Imagine you are holding a gift. $50 you earned through hard work. Imagine yourself giving him $50 for the cost and effort of fixing his own mailbox, saying, "here, this is for the mailbox I knocked over by accident, I'm sorry I should have told you sooner but I was embarrassed".

                            From that point on, it doesn't matter what he says in response, I would bet that you will feel much much better about yourself, your parent's opinion of you will be improved, your soul will be healed, you will move on.

                            Suppose that the grouchy man does not "move on". Suppose that he frowns at you from here to forevermore. You can always look back on that day you stood on his porch and shuffled your feet and you can say you did everything you could.

                            Heck, you might even smile and wave at him every time he frowns, you never know, he might not realize he's frowning. Maybe he's sad.

                            Let's just say I think $50 and polite apology is easy, and would suggest more, but I don't know you, so just give that thought a test drive. I think by posting here you showed that deep inside you know this is more than just how you relate to your parents, and trying to trap mom and dad into a disagreement about what is "smart". Sometimes we can trick ourselves out of the right thing to do with ideas of the smart thing to do. Don't be too clever for your own good, that's my advice.

                            Excellent advice imo. Sometimes the right road is a tough road.
                            A cannot be A & not A at the same time.

                            מקום כניעה סך הכל

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Question about parents

                              Originally posted by ChangedByHim View Post
                              David. This is troubling your soul. You should act humbly and confess your misdeed. Your act of humility is what God is looking for. Perhaps it will be met with differently than you think. Confessing what happened is the only way that your conscience will be cleared.
                              Do you have kids? Would you give them the same advice? Thanks.

                              Comment

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