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Head or Heart?

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  • Head or Heart?

    I'm a sophomore in college, and I've never had a serious boyfriend before. It used to not bother me. It still doesn't (well, maybe at times), but now I finally feel like I'm ready for one.

    When I like a guy, I can usually tell right away. The chemistry is just there. There's lots of guys who are nice, good-looking, and have great personalities and morals, but I just don't feel attractive to them. Then there's other guys who have good qualities too, but they have something else about them that drives me crazy, and I can't stop thinking about them (and when I do I can't stop smiling).

    I always told myself that I want the first guy I date to fall into that second category, but so far when i feel that way about someone, the feeling is either not mutual or something else goes wrong and things don't work out.

    There's plenty of guys who i know who are good friends, and people have told me I should give them a chance and go on a date with them. These guys are good people and friends, but they don't give me that giddy feeling. My head believes that this is ok, but my heart tells me that it would be wrong to go out with them.

    What do you think i should do? Do you believe that chemistry can develop over time? Or do you think I should follow what my heart is telling me and wait for the right guy to come along. It's just been so tough because I feel like I've been waiting forever and wasting time.

    I've been praying about guy issues for a long time, and I feel like I haven't received any answers.

    Thanks for your input

  • #2
    I do agree that chemistry is needed if one is going to have a marriage relationship. However, I'm sure you know it can fizzle into nothing in the long or short haul, too, if there aren't those far more important qualities, like trust and respect and of course love.

    Sometimes that chemistry does build up over time as one gets to know and really care for another person. Many people initially didn't feel interested in a guy, then got to know him well and fell in love. It wouldn't hurt to give some nice guy/s a chance, being careful with their feelings since you aren't sure how you feel, then wait and see what might develop in your heart. If the chemistry never does happen, then you can just move on and try again.
    Per Hebrew 13:3 please "Remember those in prison":

    Acts 21 Now they have been informed about you that you continually teach all the Jews who live among the Gentiles to turn back from and forsake Moses...Therefore do just what we tell you....thus everybody will know that there is no truth in what they have been told about you, but that you yourself walk in observance of the Law of Moses.


    • #3
      When I first met my husband I did not like him at all.

      I was a waitress and if he came in and sat in my section I would try to get another waitress to wait on him for me. He was not my kind of people.
      About a year and a half later he and his wife had split up for about the 8th time ( she kept running wild) and he asked me to go to the movies. Something told me to say yes. There were a lot of people surprised, nobody more so than me.
      He told me later that he had been praying that if his marrage wasn't going to work out for God to bless him with the one he was supposed to be with and that night something just told him to ask me out!!

      We have been happily married for almost 21 years, I decided I liked him after all.

      You can meet someone you never to expect to be the ONE and if God wants it to be so it will .


      • #4
        Thanks for your really helps!

        And Kjo, that's a really awesome story!