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  1. #1

    Question

    I've been struggling with some things for quit a while now. All my life I have had anger and bad attitudes among other things. For some time now I've been praying and asking God to enable me to overcome these things. I've asked that He come and remove these things from me, because I know His Word says that's not how we are to be. I've poured my heart out at times praying for Him to change me, expressing how much I hate being that way, asking forgiveness for it, etc. Yet, I still struggle with these things. I may do alright in getting rid of those things for a while, but then something always happens and then I'm right back where I started.
    I would think that sense these are things that the Lord would not want me to be, then He would enable me to get rid of them. Yet, I seem to be unable to do so.
    Wouldn't we be enabled to overcome these things if we truly desire to do so and have asked His forgiveness for them and asked for His help? I would think so, but for some reason I keep struggling with them. What do you think?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jesuslovesme_23 View Post
    I've been struggling with some things for quit a while now. All my life I have had anger and bad attitudes among other things. For some time now I've been praying and asking God to enable me to overcome these things. I've asked that He come and remove these things from me, because I know His Word says that's not how we are to be. I've poured my heart out at times praying for Him to change me, expressing how much I hate being that way, asking forgiveness for it, etc. Yet, I still struggle with these things.
    Welcome to the club


    I may do alright in getting rid of those things for a while, but then something always happens and then I'm right back where I started.
    I don't know if this relates to you but I often find myself in the same predicament. It seems that my "change" is directly proportionate to my emotional peak. I find it easy to be nice and loving when things go well and I feel good. It's when the trails come at the same time as my emotional valley that I see all this garbage coming out of me. I think this is part of the purifying process . I have been privileged to undergo the same sifting Peter went through:

    Luk 22:31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

    Wheat is sifted by lifting it up and casting it down. In the process the chaff is blown away by the wind. The Spirit blows away my chaff as I go through this process as well



    I would think that sense these are things that the Lord would not want me to be, then He would enable me to get rid of them. Yet, I seem to be unable to do so.
    Wouldn't we be enabled to overcome these things if we truly desire to do so and have asked His forgiveness for them and asked for His help? I would think so, but for some reason I keep struggling with them. What do you think?
    I think you need the same revelation of the cross that most of us need. We need to understand that our carnal nature is already crucified with Christ. When we begin to walk the crucified life then we put to death our sin,desires and faults and begin to manifest some of Jesus' qualities.
    This doesn't happen overnight and the process is sometimes very painful. However, it is not worthy to be compared with the Glory that will be revealed in us if we let God have his way. Be encouraged. real change happens slowly as we seek him
    2 Ti 2:14 Of these things put them in remembrance, charging them before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers.

  3. #3
    *Hope* Guest
    I struggle with some of the same things (such as a bad attitude). However, I've found that God doesn't tend to just "remove" the things we struggle with. Instead, He gives us opportunities to exercise self-control and thus teaches us to rely on Him more.

  4. #4
    One of the better ways to deal with anger, is by looking at how we can manage and deal with our anger. There are many good courses which can help. It's about understanding what makes us angry and what we can do about it. I would recommend doing a course on how to deal with anger.

    As for bad attitudes, having things that deal with anger can help. It's hard to change bad attitudes sometimes, esp when we are at the end of unjust treatment etc... Sometimes it's a matter of trusting God and grinning and bearing, until the situation improves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jesuslovesme_23 View Post
    I've been struggling with some things for quit a while now. All my life I have had anger and bad attitudes among other things. For some time now I've been praying and asking God to enable me to overcome these things. I've asked that He come and remove these things from me, because I know His Word says that's not how we are to be. I've poured my heart out at times praying for Him to change me, expressing how much I hate being that way, asking forgiveness for it, etc. Yet, I still struggle with these things. I may do alright in getting rid of those things for a while, but then something always happens and then I'm right back where I started.
    I would think that sense these are things that the Lord would not want me to be, then He would enable me to get rid of them. Yet, I seem to be unable to do so.
    Wouldn't we be enabled to overcome these things if we truly desire to do so and have asked His forgiveness for them and asked for His help? I would think so, but for some reason I keep struggling with them. What do you think?
    http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistr...cles/art43.htm

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    Maybe God is trying to have you look at the root of your anger. I have found in my life that most times it is hurt - unhealed pain. Once I discover the source of the pain and actively forgive the person who caused it, the anger disappears as well. And yes, that even includes myself. I can do some really, really stupid things.

    Praying with you and for you -
    V
    I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
    - Mahatma Gandhi




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    Quote Originally Posted by Vhayes View Post
    Maybe God is trying to have you look at the root of your anger. I have found in my life that most times it is hurt - unhealed pain. Once I discover the source of the pain and actively forgive the person who caused it, the anger disappears as well. And yes, that even includes myself. I can do some really, really stupid things.

    Praying with you and for you -
    V

    Amen and it's Freeing..You'll never be the same again until you get to the root cause

  8. #8
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    Dealing with Anger...God's Way by Joyce Meyer
    Everybody has to deal with anger from time to time. But what’s the best way to handle it? To answer that question, we must first understand what anger really is. Anger is an emotion often characterized by feelings of great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath and vengeance. Many times, reacting in anger is how we express our dissatisfaction with life. It’s defined in the Greek language as the strongest of all passions. Anger begins with a feeling that’s often expressed in words or actions. We feel something and it causes a reaction.

    GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM

    Anger is the fruit of rotten roots. One of the primary roots of anger stems from the family. Angry people come from angry families because they learn from their role models and carry on the same behavior in their own lives, eventually passing it on to their children.

    OTHER ROOTS OF ANGER INCLUDE:

    Injustice—when people mistreat us but there’s nothing we can do about it, we get angry because we feel it isn't fair. As much as we’d like to change the situation or the person who’s treating us badly, we can't. People can't change people; only God can change people. So it's best to put our energy into praying for the offender.

    Strife—which is hidden, repressed anger, begins with judgment, gossip, backbiting and thinking too highly of yourself. Strife is often exhibited in arguing, bickering, heated disagreements and angry undercurrents.

    Impatience—often produces anger when we can't get what we want when we want it. When our progress is hindered or slowed down because of others, it’s easy to become impatient. Most of us struggle with impatience on a daily basis simply because of today's fast-paced world.

    Abuse of any kind—sexual, physical, verbal, emotional or mental abuse almost always leads to anger. They’re all injustices, which eventually leave the abused feeling helpless and angry. Abuse of any kind can’t be ignored. We must deal with it and process it before we can get free of it.

    Unmet needs—can also produce anger. We all have needs that can and should be met by those closest to us; however, they don’t know and understand our needs unless we communicate with them. But even then they may sometimes fail to meet our needs. Therefore, the answer is to go to God with our needs and not to other people.

    Jealousy—anger caused by jealousy was one of the first negative emotions mentioned in the Bible. Genesis 4 tells us that Cain killed his brother Abel because he was jealous to the point of being angry. Although this is one of the more extreme results of jealousy, it reminds us of how dangerous jealousy can be.

    In today’s society many people feel their status is dependent on their job or position in the church. Because of this mindset, they’re afraid someone else may get promoted ahead of them. Jealousy causes them to try to be important in the eyes of man. If you have this problem, understand that God has you where you are for a reason. He knows what’s in your future, and He may have you in training for it right now. There’s a big difference between being able and being ready to do a specific thing. So don't despise the days of small beginnings. Remember, we must answer to God. Our rewards come from obeying the specific callings He’s placed on our lives, not from the great things we accomplish as far as the world is concerned.

    Other roots that lead to anger include fear of confrontation, insecurity, and feeling controlled by a job or other people and their problems. I used to get mad at people who controlled me until God told me one day, "You’re just as guilty as they are because you're letting them do it." We shouldn’t put excessive pressure on ourselves by making too many commitments just because we don't want to say no to someone.

    MASKS OF ANGER

    Sometimes we use masks to cover up the things we don't want anybody to see. If we’re harboring anger, we think masking it keeps others from knowing the real us. So we hide behind a variety of masks in an attempt to trick people into thinking we're something or someone we're not. I’ve discovered that people respect you more if you share your real self with them rather than trying to hide everything. After all, people can tell when something isn’t right. You may think you're hiding your anger, but it’ll eventually find a way to come out—either in voice tone, body language or attitudes. Some people use the cold-shoulder mask. When someone makes them angry, they may say they’ve forgiven them, but they become cold, showing no warmth or emotion in dealing with that individual. These people live a lonely existence. Because they’re so afraid of being hurt, they avoid close, meaningful relationships. This is a classic example of "choosing your pain." They’ll choose the pain of living an isolated, lonely life instead of working through the problem, determined to develop good friendships. Other people like to use the silent-treatment mask. They say they're not angry with you, yet they refuse to talk to you, or they only communicate when it’s absolutely necessary, usually with a grunt or nod. When people avoid being with, touching, or doing things for the person they're angry with, they're hiding behind a mask, which isn’t the answer.

    FACE THE TRUTH...AND CHOOSE YOUR PAIN

    If you want the great and mighty things God has for you, you must get to the root of anger and deal with it. Get rid of the masks and face the things that happened in your life that made you the way you are today. Admit that you can't change by yourself. Until the root is removed, it’ll continue to produce one bad fruit after another. Too often we spend our lives dealing with the bad fruit of our behavior, but we never dig deep enough to get to the root of the problem. Actually, when we're faced with anger, we must choose our pain. Digging deep to take care of the bad root is painful, but it’s the only lasting way to take care of the problem. We can either suffer positively, doing what’s right or we can go with the devil's plan. But remember, the same devil who tempts you to follow your human feelings will later condemn you for doing it. You must decide if you want the pain that will take you into a new realm of glory or to keep your same old pain and try to hide it while it's rotting inside you.

    Peter tells us to be well-balanced and temperate, withstanding the devil at his onset (see 1 Peter 5:8,9). When you begin to feel anger, it's the perfect time to exercise the fruit of self-control. You may have a good reason to be angry, but don’t use it as an excuse to stay that way. Instead of denying or justifying it, ask God to help you deal with it in a positive way. Romans 12:21 gives good advice: Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. When Satan attacks you, instead of getting mad, go bless someone. Responding in a positive way is the direct opposite of what the enemy wants you to do, defeating his plan to keep you upset. It doesn't come naturally, and it isn't always easy, but when we do what we can do, God will do what we can't do. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). If we hang on to anger, we're just being foolish. We must turn the anger and the people who caused it over to God and let Him take care of it. ...Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord (Romans 12:19). Trust God and He will take care of you and protect you. You can't change your past, but when you give it to God, He’ll use it to bring you a better future.

    IS ANGER SIN?

    Is all anger sin? No, but some of it is. Even God Himself has righteous anger against sin, injustice, rebellion and pettiness. Anger sometimes serves a useful purpose, so it isn't necessarily always a sin. Obviously, we’re going to have adverse feelings, or God wouldn’t have needed to provide the fruit of self-control. Just being tempted to do something is not sin. It's when you don't resist the temptation, but do it anyway, that it becomes sin. God sometimes allows us to feel anger so we’ll recognize when we’re being mistreated. But even when we experience true injustices in our lives, we must not vent our anger in an improper way. We must guard against allowing anger to drag us into sin. Ephesians 4:26,27 tells us, When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]. Refuse to give the devil any opportunity to get a foothold in your life through anger.

    All anger, regardless of its cause, has the same effect on our lives. It upsets us, causing us to feel pressure. Keeping anger locked inside and pretending it doesn't exist can even be dangerous to our health. Most of the time we’re only hurting ourselves, and the person who angered us isn’t even aware of it. So we must take responsibility for our anger and learn to deal with it. Process it and bring closure to it, and that will relieve the pressure. I have been through some rough times in my life, and for many years those experiences caused me to feel miserable. I was so mad about the abuse in my childhood that it was making me bitter and hateful. I was angry with everybody, but one day God confronted me and said, "Joyce, are you going to let that make you bitter or better?" That got my attention, and I eventually had to find a positive way to process my anger. That was a place of new beginnings for me. When you face your anger and decide to deal with it God's way, you can overcome it. The Holy Spirit gives us the power to be stable and walk in the fruit of the Spirit. We have the power to forgive those who do injustices in our lives and to love the unlovely.

    TAKE STEPS TOWARD FREEDOM

    People are born to be free; it’s a gift from God. We’re not to be free from responsibility, but free to be led by the Holy Spirit. Any time our freedom is taken away or given away, we experience anger. Are you willing to go through whatever it takes to be free, or do you want to stay in the mess you're in for the rest of your life? If you want to be free, just start doing what God wants you to do, one step at a time, and you’ll eventually walk out of your messes. When we are battling anger, we must realize that ...we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12 KJV). When Satan makes you angry, remember that he's trying to keep you from accomplishing the will of God in your life.

    In 2 Timothy 4:5, Paul told Timothy to be calm, cool and collected and to keep performing the duties of his ministry. That’s good advice for all of us. When we get angry, we should calm down and start doing what God has called us to do. You can be bitter or better—it's up to you! If you're mad about something, instead of letting it ruin your life, turn it into something good. Overcome evil and anger by praying for those who hurt and abuse you. Forgive them and be a blessing to them. It may not be easy at first, but when you make the decision and stick with it, God will take care of the rest.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by *Hope* View Post
    I struggle with some of the same things (such as a bad attitude). However, I've found that God doesn't tend to just "remove" the things we struggle with. Instead, He gives us opportunities to exercise self-control and thus teaches us to rely on Him more.
    I was going to say the same thing.

    @Jesuslovesme_23
    God may remove something for us if there is absolutely no other way. But I believe that God prefers to train us to become what He requires. So if you ask God to help you get rid of your anger/attitude problems, He will probably give you more opportunities to respond differently than usual. But don't worry, cause God will never let you face more than what He knows you can bear. You can change!

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